Rock Me Deep (40 page)

In the mirror, I saw my milky skin. Bruises that I thought had long healed crawled up my arms, cuts dripping with fresh blood.
Why is this familiar... but off?

Holding the back of my head, Drezden bit down on my jaw. The roots of my hair tugged, sending sparks to my cells. I was acutely aware of everything and anything.

My tattoo itched. In the flickering lights of the bathroom, the dark castle was a forest of living snakes and green eyes. “What's going on?” I asked, but my voice was too quiet.

No one could hear me.

Holding me still, Drezden peered into my face. His teeth were fangs, lips searing and melting me where he touched. In my ear, he murmured so gently.

“Look out.”

The man I loved shoved me backwards. I went tumbling down into the tub.

I never landed.

As I looked up, his face morphed. Green eyes—but not
my
green eyes.

Johnny Muse.

I felt only pain. My eyes were heavy, hesitant to open. The edges of my vision stabbed like serrated knives, cutting into my temples, my brain.
What happened?
Thinking brought more deep aches, hiding my memory from me.

I realized I was sitting. Gingerly I shifted in place, craning my head carefully to study the low-lit room that hadn't seen a clean sponge in forever. Cracked walls, patchy floors, a bed that was piled with wrinkled blankets.

I didn't know this place at all.

Wriggling my wrists, I tugged hard—then harder. They were tied behind me. One movement was too much; my right shoulder screamed in sharp distress. My natural reaction was to gasp, something in my mouth stunted the cry.

“Oh,” a voice said beside me. “You're awake.”

Wide-eyed, I came awake as if my feet had been put in a fire. Johnny stood next to me, twitching, pacing as he looked on. The scabs across his face blazed, a shiny bruise splashing on the side of his cheek.

All at once, I remembered the fight in my hotel room.

Oh shit.

My belly rippled, adrenaline shooting through my limbs. Reluctantly, the blackness lifted from my mind. After I'd passed out, I'd flitted in and out of consciousness. Parts of that returned to me—the bits where I was jostled in Johnny's arms, half-dragged, my hood pulled low over my face.

Someone had asked if I was alright, but I'd been too groggy to speak. Johnny had answered quickly, something about me drinking too much because I was excited for all the bands in town.

In the bustle of the busy hotel lobby, no one had realized I was Lola Cooper.

That I was being kidnapped in plain sight.

No one knows what happened to me.
The revelation turned my blood cold.

My captor bent close, smelling entirely too much of whiskey. “You okay in there? Comfortable?” Biting onto the rag in my mouth, I made a muffled sound of anger. Johnny blinked, standing straight. “Look, you were the one that went nuts last night.”

Last night?
How long had I been unconscious for?

A vibration rumbled loudly to my left, paralyzing me with new fear. From where I sat, I saw the shiny device and knew it was my phone
.
Someone was trying to call me! That brought a new, sickening thought with it.
If he took my phone, that means he touched me... searched me.

Had he done anything else while I was so vulnerable?

He said flatly, “I didn't have any choice but to do this.”

My attention jumped up to his stubble covered jaw. Johnny's eyes were bloodshot, his lip ticking occasionally. I was in the hands of a madman. Rocking in my bonds, I tested everything. What had he tied on my wrists? It felt sticky, like old candy.

He took a swig from a bottle he'd left beside my phone. “You were out so long, I wondered if you had a concussion.”

And he didn't take me to a hospital?
A tremble went down my knees.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Johnny wasn't concerned for my health. If something went wrong under his control...

I could die here.

His palm touched my forehead, unnerving me. “You look pale.” Scrutinizing me for a long moment, he hummed. “I'm really sorry if you don't feel well. Seriously, none of this—I didn't
plan
to do this.”

No, I didn't think it was planned. The way he'd followed me, then freaked out in my room, had all been too spontaneous.
I haven't been captured by some vaudevillian character. Just a crazy, unhinged, selfish prick.

Wonderful.

Coughing against my gag, I moaned. Johnny pulled away, his lips pinched. “What is it? That too tight?”

Freezing my muscles, I considered his question.
If I can get him to ungag me, maybe I can find a way out of this.
My nod of agreement was patiently slow.

“Okay. But listen. You make any loud noise, and I'm putting this on even tighter. Okay?” When I nodded again, he reached behind my head, loosening the tie. With the ability to move my mouth again, I noticed how badly my jaw ached. “There. Better?”

My voice cracked. “Can I have a drink?” He edged the open bottle towards me, the strong scent of alcohol burned my nostrils. “Water, do you have water?”

“Oh.” Swallowing more of the liquid down, he wiped his mouth with the back of his arm. Moving out of view around a corner, Johnny jostled something; I heard water running, probably a sink. The paper cup he brought back to me smelled like chlorine, but I drank it eagerly while he tilted it to my mouth.

Tossing the cup aside, its purpose done, Johnny dug a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. “You smoke?”

I curled my lips back. “What are you going to do with me?”

“Take that as a no.” Cupping his lighter close, the fire turned his lips cherry-red. Smoke billowed, the smell making me think of Drezden. “Like I said, this wasn't planned.” On the table, my phone buzzed again. We both glanced at it; him, with disgust—and me? I couldn't hide the hope in my eyes, he saw it plainly. "Don't get excited," he muttered.

“Johnny, please, just let me go." I leaned towards him as much as I could "You don't need to keep me here.”

Waving smoke away, he rolled the cigarette to one side in his mouth and spoke around it. “Yeah, I do. I tried to talk you out of that band. Tried to fucking tell you how awful Drez is. You didn't want to listen.” Ash fell to the rug. “This was the only way to keep you from playing.”

Shifting in the chair, I winced at the twinge in my shoulder. Was it out of the socket? “Why do you care if I play or not? You aren't in the band anymore, what does it matter to you?”

He turned his head suddenly, listening for... something. Taking another drag, Johnny let the grey haze flow around him. “You talk too much. Want more water?”

Why does he want me to leave the band?
I'd figured out why Sean had been struggling with it, but Johnny—there was only one thing he could want

My eyebrows shot up to my scalp. “You wanted me to leave so you could take my spot again!”

“
Again?
” His foot kicked a chair, sending it flying. I ducked my chin, expecting him to swing at me. “Again?
You
took
my
spot, not the other way around!”

My breath rattled in my chest. Johnny looked rabid, on the verge of taking a bite out of me. I could see the raw edges of his gums, the cigarette illuminating everything. He moved, hands coming down on my shoulders. “Don't touch me!” I screamed.

Again, on the table, my phone vibrated.

Johnny moved away, guilt twisting his forehead into long rows. “Lola, I'm not that kind of guy! I don't just hurt people!” Remembering the way he'd slammed me into the coffee table last night, I didn't comment. “Just calm down,” he mumbled. Was he talking to himself, or me? Lighting a new cigarette, Johnny dropped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling.

He can't see my hands.
Cautiously, I worked my wrists together behind me. As a kid, I'd played games with Sean where we tied each other up, pretending to be cops or robbers. They were silly games, and while they didn't help me with untying my binds, the memory gave me strength.

My phone, buzzing away, gave me even more.

People have to know something is wrong.
What time was it? The filthy blinds over the windows hid the info from me. Never letting Johnny out of my sight, I kept tugging at my wrists. Whatever he'd used, it was starting to yield from the friction.

Tape? Is that it?
Not even electrical tape, but the cheap, clear stuff. Johnny really
hadn't
thought up some grand scheme.
He just wanted me to quit the band so he could stroll in and save the day. But he can't now. He has to know that.
There was no way anyone would take him back, even if they were desperate.

The tape slid enough for me to inch my fingers out. My blood pumped like gasoline. One wrong move and I'd be set ablaze. Letting Johnny into my hotel room was the last wrong move I planned to make.

My ankles were attached to the chair legs.
Free hands, but nothing to do with them.
If Johnny came close, could I do something?
Punch him in the teeth is what I want to do, but that won't help me escape.

Looking at my phone, it became clear.
If I can grab it, I can tell someone where I am.
My stomach coiled over and over.
But where am I?
Johnny hadn't said. Looking around, it was clearly a motel room. But which one?

Scanning the floors, the walls, I looked for something iconic. A crumpled pile of towels revealed the name in poor, faded embroidery: Greenmill Motel. It was like a drum had exploded in my brain.
Sean told me that!
My brother had visited Johnny here. He'd know where to find me.

I peeked at Johnny. He was lying on his side on the bed, his back to me. Inching my aching arms around, I reached for my phone. My fingertips hovered just as it vibrated. The noise touched my bones.

“For fuck's sake!” Johnny cried, rolling over on the old springs. “That damn phone of yours needs to shut up and—hey!
Stop!
”

Desperately I snatched my phone, fumbling with sweaty palms to open it, to dial
anything
. Johnny was on me, digging his nails into me, wrenching for the device.
No, no no no!
Inhaling to capacity, I started to scream for help.

His backhand shut me up, but it didn't stop me. Releasing the phone, I rolled forward, knocking the chair over beneath me. Holding onto his legs, I prayed he'd crack his skull on the side-table as I brought him down.

“You little fucking bitch!” He buried his grip in my hair. “I told you to stay quiet, you lying—aahh!” I'd buried my teeth into the meaty part near his thumb. Dug in, and just worked my jaw as hard as I could.

When he hit me that time, I saw spots of white.

My eyes lolled to the side; the phone rested near my face, open so I could read the missed calls.
Drezden. So many calls from him.

Johnny shoved the gag in my mouth, tying it so tight I struggled to get air. “Shut up.” There was no sympathy anymore. “Were you always the sort to betray people, or did you pick that up from Drez?”

I tasted coppery blood—his, not mine. It filled me with glee knowing I'd managed to hurt him. Grunting, Johnny lifted my chair up, forcing my arms back behind me. “You actually got the tape off?”

Yanking at him was pointless, but I tried anyway.

Something made a plastic-squeal. He bound my wrists with more tape, but that wasn't enough, and we both knew it. “You're more trouble than I was ready for,” he muttered. Cloth wrapped over my wrists next. Socks? A shirt? I didn't know.

Picking up my phone, Johnny frowned. “You think the cops can trace this?” Glancing at me, he waited, like I could answer. “Guess it doesn't matter.” Looking around, he stomped out the smoking remains of his fallen cigarette. “They're going to find me eventually, huh? Fucking fuck.”

Watching blood drip down his arm from my bite marks, I shivered.
He really didn't consider what to do next. What would happen to him next.

For the first time, Johnny was debating what to do with
me
.

Drezden

––––––––

“W
hy the hell would you
bring
her to meet Johnny?” I growled.

Sean bent over the steering wheel, one great hump of regret. “I didn't know he would do something like this!”

“How much further?” I'd been digging my fingers into the tops of my thighs the whole ride.

Squinting out at the growing evening sky, Sean sighed. “I'm not sure. Fifteen minutes. The motel is on the edge of the city.”

“You better hope she's okay,” I whispered. There were shadows on my tongue. "For your sake." I'd burn the whole world to the ground if it meant saving Lola.

“Why the hell are you so pissed at me?” he asked, pulling us sharply around a turn. “It isn't my fault that the crazy motherfucker kidnapped her!”

Scrunching my face, I looked out the window. It was too easy to imagine the scene—Johnny stealing Lola from her hotel room while she fought tooth and nail to escape. The images fueled my rage even more.

“Now you've gone silent on me,” Sean muttered. “Seriously. Why are you such an asshole to me?”

The question caught me off guard. “Pretty sure you've been just as big of a thorn in my side.”

His eyes darted up, then away. “I had my reasons not to like you.”

“Then we're even.”

“We're not fucking even!” He punched his fist into the wheel. “You started this shitty thing between us! You had
no reason
to be such a dick to me years ago, what did I do to deserve your shitty treatment?” In the darkness of the vehicle, his eyes were glowing. “What did I do to you that made you want to hate me so
much?
”

Closing my eyes tight, I breathed through my nose.
The entitlement in his stare of disbelief when I rejected him... I can't forget that look.
It had stayed with me for years. I knew why now, though. My recent excavation into my past had helped me understand.