Rock Star (33 page)

“Damn it, Callie, there’s just some things that are better left alone,” he replied irritably. Why did Callie have to continually probe at his feelings? The last thing he wanted at this moment was to expose himself any further. Besides, she was using this as a distraction, just as he’d done with the sandwich, to keep from having to address their own issues.

“Between us, Bryan? Are you saying that there are things that shouldn’t be discussed between us?” Her hurt feelings were evident in her soft tone.

Bryan gave her a speaking glance. “What us, Callie? Is there an us?”

Callie lowered her head but didn’t answer.

Bryan reached over and put a finger under her chin and raised her head until her eyes met his. “Is there an us, Callie?” he asked forcefully.

Callie’s eyes pooled with tears. “I don’t know, Bryan, I just don’t know.”

Bryan gave a snort of disgust, then resumed eating his sandwich, taking sips of coffee between bites. Apparently she still wasn’t ready to talk about what was going on with her. He’d be patient just a little longer. “I don’t know how I feel about B.T. I think the man saved my life, Callie. Matter of fact, I know he did. If I’d stayed out there on the streets like that, God only knows what would’ve happened to me. Everything I am, everything I’ve ever wanted to be is because of him. I don’t know if I can do this without him and Brodie too.”

He shifted on the sofa, his voice tremulous with anger. “I thought he cared about me, Callie. I thought he really gave a damn about me as a person. Now I know that I’m just another product to him. He was willing to ruin our lives to protect his interests.”

Callie moved over closer, wrapping her arm around his waist and laying her head on his shoulder. She searched desperately for words to console him, but none were forthcoming. The situation was so overwhelming, everything she could think of sounded trite and meaningless. “Sweetie, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.”

Bryan pulled her against his chest. “There’s nothing much to say. I fired him, but I know I’ve got a hell of a legal battle ahead. And then there’s Maria, the one person who actually does give a damn. This is going to be awful for her. She’s going to be so hurt, I don’t know if she can take it. God, what a mess!”

Callie nuzzled into her favorite position beneath his chin. She knew what she had to say, but it was a major struggle to utter the soothing words. “You know, maybe it wasn’t just his interests he was protecting. Maybe he really did think he was taking care of you too. I mean, you’ve told me that over the years you’ve pretty much let B.T. run the show. He’s never interfered with your love life before, but maybe he really was just desperate and did what he thought was right.” Much to her surprise, she found that she could overlook her own issues with B.T. if it would give Bryan some measure of relief from the emotional burden he was laboring under. Reflexively, she wanted to agree with Bryan’s decision to cut B.T. out of his life. It would certainly be a more comfortable existence for her, but it would undermine the closest thing he had to a family. Could she let him do that, especially when he’d already lost the man he considered a brother? Unfortunately with family, sometimes a person had to take the bitter with the better, as her mother would say. She reflected on B.T.’s very real grief the night of the tribute party. The man had not been mourning his balance sheet. He cared about Bryan, and more importantly, Bryan loved him. B.T. was not the ideal manager, but he had been considerably better to Bryan than many of the other managers out there would have been. She shivered as she recalled the shifty men she’d met at the tribute party. B.T. stood head and shoulders above most of the managers in the music business. Bryan could most assuredly do a whole lot worse. Another of her mother’s sayings ran through her mind: better the devil you know than the devil you don’t. All in all, Bryan would be better off holding pat with the hand he’d been dealt.

Bryan perked up as her statement sank in. “Do you really believe he thought he was looking out for me?” Despite his anger, he couldn’t keep the hopefulness out of his tone.

Callie nodded. “Bryan, I really don’t think B.T. intended to hurt you. I don’t think he’s evil.” She snorted with laughter. “Twisted as all get out, and definitely amoral, but I really do believe he thought he was looking out for you.”

Bryan shook his head, awed by her defense of a man who had caused her so much pain. He’d never known anyone with such a capacity for forgiveness. “I can’t believe you’re willing to forgive this guy. You’re incredible.”

Callie could only smile in return. She hadn’t exactly forgiven B.T. for his involvement in this whole mess, but she did believe that he’d had Bryan’s best interests at heart. Besides, a break with him would probably hurt Bryan much worse than it would B.T., and Maria would be wounded more deeply than either of them. Callie had no doubt about Maria’s love for Bryan. She had put her marriage on the line for his sake. She could understand Bryan’s reluctance to hurt her. They would tangle with this issue for a while, but as long as they handled B.T. carefully, there was no real reason to dissolve the relationship. Despite his anger and pain, Bryan would eventually see the wisdom of this course of action.

They sat comforting each other for a long time, simply absorbing one another’s presence after their long dry spell.

After a while, Bryan stirred. “So, Callie, now that we’ve dealt with everything else, what about us?”

Callie frowned. She’d put this off for as long as she could, but apparently her hour of reckoning was at hand. Bryan would not be put off any longer.

She pursed her lips as she formulated what she needed to say. “Bryan, do you remember those women we saw in L.A.? You know, the ones who are always looking for the next celebrity to attach themselves to?”

“Yeah, Callie, I’m passably acquainted with the breed,” Bryan responded dryly, wondering what the hell this had to do with them. Surely Callie didn’t think he was still involved with those women.

Callie spoke rapidly, her words rushed, as if afraid that if she didn’t say it now, she never would, “See, Bryan, I’m not like them. I’ve got my own life. I’m a businesswoman. I can’t be like those women in L.A., just following you around from place to place, like some type of accessory. I don’t want to live off you and be rewarded with extravagant shopping trips and expensive jewelry. I’ve got my younger sisters and the rest of my family to think of. I just can’t act like that.” She paused, looking up at him tremulously, not sure of his reaction. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she couldn’t live that way. But then again, giving Bryan up would be devastating. She wanted both and hoped he would understand.

Bryan frowned in puzzlement. “Callie, what on earth are you talking about? When did I say I wanted you to do that? I think it’s a good thing that one of us knows how to make money. For God’s sake, haven’t you seen all those broke-ass ex-rock stars on Behind the Music? In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve got one crafty sonofabitch for a manager. Hell, by now he’s probably got more of my money than I do and in a few years I’ll be lucky if I can get a gig playing ‘Freebird’ at a Holiday Inn in Eastaboga!” he roared, infuriated that Callie was still hung up on the notion of being his kept woman.

Callie doubled over, unable to contain her laughter. Bryan was truly incensed. She could all but see the sparks flying from those deep blue eyes.

He continued at full rant, “I may not be too terribly bright, but I do know the difference between a good woman and a pay-to-play girl. Please give me some kind of credit, okay?”

Callie was still gasping with laughter and couldn’t respond.

Bryan calmed down, unable to maintain his anger in light of her silly response. When she finally stopped laughing, he captured her face in both his hands. “Callie, you are the woman I fell in love with all those months ago. That’s who you are, and that’s who I want you to be. My own personal budding tycoon. You know I love it when you’re all in your business mode negotiating deals; it’s so goddamned sexy. You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to slide you right out of your tastefully tailored pants and take you right on top of your desk, especially when you have a pencil behind your ear. It’s probably given me a fetish.”

Callie gaped at Bryan in amazement. She’d never had any inkling that he’d been thinking that way. A pencil behind her ear was sexy? Who knew? She thought back to all those late nights Bryan had been in the store with her while she ordered books. Perusing long printouts from the various publishers, she’d frequently had a pencil behind her ear. When things were really frantic she’d sometimes have pencils behind both ears. She shivered delightfully as she thought about her response if he’d followed through on his inclinations.

“You’ve got your own gig, baby, and that’s great. Go take over the world, give Bill Gates a run for his money. I never thought for one moment that I’d just be able to attach you to my life. God, Callie, I could’ve had that years ago with dozens of women. That’s not what I want; I want us to make a life together, as partners, as equals.” He looked into her luminous brown eyes. “Is that what all this was about? Were you going to dump me because you thought you were going to have to give up everything to be with me?”

Callie nodded, her eyes now sparkling with tears, moved by the wonderfully beautiful things he’d said. He was offering her everything she’d ever wanted. He was giving her the world. But did she dare take it? “I thought it would be better if I just let it go. I’m not sure I can handle all the reporters and stuff and I don’t want to give up everything I’ve worked so hard for. I know it was wrong of me not to talk to you about it, but I—I didn’t know what to say. I knew I couldn’t look you in the eye and tell you how I felt, so I thought if I refused to talk to you you’d eventually stop calling.” Callie shook her head, shamed by her cowardice.

Bryan leaned his forehead against hers. “God, baby.” His voice choked with emotion. “Please, please promise me one thing. Always at least talk to me first. I’ve been going out of my mind worried about you. I know I probably drove Tonya crazy calling all the time, but I had to know you were okay. I can’t promise you that the paparazzi won’t bother us. Sometimes little things you do get a lot of attention, especially on a slow news day. They’re unpredictable, but I promise I’ll do a better job of taking care of you.”

“I’m sorry, Bryan. I’d already realized that I’d have to talk this out with you, but I didn’t think I could do it. It was so unfair, I really am sorry.” She moved away from him to look into his face. “So is it okay if I take some time? I mean, I won’t stop talking to you again, but I just need to think things through.” She lowered her eyes, then looked up with a tremulous smile. “Besides, you still haven’t told me exactly what type of relationship you want with me.”

Bryan grinned down at her, then shifted to remove something from his pocket. He took her left hand in his, and slid a ring on her finger. “I thought that was obvious. I’m asking you to marry me.”

Callie gave her ring finger an astonished glance, dazzled by the beautiful heart-shaped pink sapphire ring that now adorned it. She looked back up at Bryan, speechless with wonder.

Bryan continued determinedly, “I bought that when I bought the bracelet. I’ve always known you were meant to be my mate. To be with me forever. Have my children and kick my ass for the next fifty years. It’s a pretty big order. I need a woman, Callie, not a little girl. Which one are you going to be?” He paused to give her a chance to respond. When no answer was forthcoming, he continued through clenched teeth, “You take all the time you need. You make goddamned sure of what you want, because once you’re mine, I’m never letting you get away from me again.”

Callie lowered her head to the kitchen table. “Oh, no, Mama, not you, too. Just for the record, I haven’t the foggiest notion what I’m going to do about Bryan. I swear as soon as I do, I’ll put it on a billboard, okay?” Relocating to the South Pacific and living in a thatched hut in the middle of nowhere was becoming more desirable by the second. She probably wouldn’t even look too bad in a grass skirt. Snap back to reality. Knowing her luck, some intrepid Fijian would trek endless miles into the jungle just to inquire about her love life. Callie had known she was in trouble when her mother showed up on her doorstep a few minutes ago with the ominous statement, “We need to talk.” But then again, what else was new?

Edith took a deep breath. Unlike her husband, she tried not to interfere unless Callie came to her first. She’d waited for several weeks, and other than the first night after the story came out, Callie hadn’t mentioned anything about Bryan. She had just continued on as always, working harder than ever. Edith had even made a point of going to the store regularly to offer moral support, something she hadn’t done since their first year, but Callie had not confided anything to her. She could see that her child was in pain, but evidently if she wanted to know how Callie felt, she’d have to ask her directly. “Callie, do you love Bryan?”

Callie raised her head from the table, leaned forward with her elbows on the table and her chin resting on her clasped hands. “Mama, I…”

“Callie, it only requires a yes or no answer. Do you love the boy or not?” Edith interjected sharply.

There was no way around it. She couldn’t lie to her mother. She closed her eyes, unable to look at her mother directly. “Yeah, Mama, I do, but…”

“But what? Good Lord, Callie. I know this situation has been awful, but are you really going to throw your relationship away because of it?” Edith asked, incredulous about the huge mess her usually level-headed daughter had made of what really was a fairly straightforward matter. Callie had never before doubted what she wanted or how she would go about getting it. Edith shook her head. Bless her heart, clearly the child had been so focused on her career that she didn’t even begin to know how to deal with men and relationships. She had no idea how the child had gotten along unaided for this long. This madness had gone on long enough. If she didn’t give the poor girl some direction, she’d never get out of this on her own.