Rock Stars Don't Like Ugly Bras (6 page)

“My pleasure, Freckles.”

“You’re not as bad as I thought,” Amber said as she pulled Jake’s arm across her stomach.  “I think I misjudged you.”

“Yeah, I think you might’ve.” Jake laughed. “So why did you hate me so much, anyway?”

Amber froze, not sure what to say.  She wasn’t ready to tell Jake about her last relationship, and how he reminded her of the man who’d broken her totally; not just her heart.

“I don’t know,” Amber sighed.  “I think I just thought you were a bit of tart where women were concerned.”

Jake laughed again, but louder.  “Oh and Tom isn’t?  Yet you don’t hate him.”

“I don’t hate you anymore…I didn’t really hate you before.  You just irritated me.”

“Oh thanks, not only am I a tart, but I irritate you as well.”  Jake tickled Amber’s waist, making her giggle.  “Good job I knew all the right moves to make on a woman then isn’t it?”

Amber stilled and suddenly sat up.  “So, you’ve been pulling moves on me then?”

Jake’s eyes sprung open.   He sat up and leaned back on his elbows.  “Well, yes, I mean no,” he fumbled.  “What I mean is, I did what was necessary to show you that I’m a good bloke.”

“But you had to work at it, you didn’t really mean any of it.” Amber scrambled to her feet.  “How many other women have your done this with?”

“None!” Jake protested.

“So, what did you do, refer to the Jake Hughes handbook of moves?”

“Shit, Freckles.  What is your problem? I didn’t mean anything, it was a throw away comment,” Jake cried.

“Bullshit, Jake.  You thought that by asking me to help with your house, watching films with me, standing naked in front of me and pretending that you can’t even boil a bloody egg, that I’d fall into bed with you and stop giving you a hard time.”  Amber pulled her hair back from her face and thrust a hand to her hip.  “Not to mention the bloody sob stories.”  As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Amber could see the hurt in Jake’s eyes.  He stood up and frowned down at Amber.

“You know what, Amber, fuck you.  If you think I told you all that about my mum just to get a quickie with you, then you’re even shallower than you think
I
am.”

Amber bit at the side of her cheek, realising that she’d over stepped the mark.  “Jake, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean it.”

Jake shook his head.  “No Amber, you did mean it.  I think perhaps this thing between us is probably a big mistake.”

Amber’s stomach dropped to her feet as the realisation of Jake’s words hit her like a punch to the guts.  “Please Jake,” she protested reaching out for his hand.  “Don’t say that.  I over reacted, I’m sorry if what I said hurt you.”

Jake took a step back.  “Nah, I’m done.  I don’t know who did such a fucking number on you, but until you start to realise that everyone with a dick isn’t actually a dick, then you’re going be a very lonely, angry, bitter woman.”  He turned and stormed back to the horses, untying Dandy and mounting him.  “We should get back,” he said as Amber reached him.  His face was like stone.

Amber silently mounted Minnie and followed Jake along the path back to the farm.  They travelled home in silence, neither of them daring to speak for fear of the words that would come out.  Once inside, Jake went to his room and slammed the door so hard that the pictures shook on the walls.  Amber, feeling utterly mean and desolate, did the only thing that she knew would make her feel better – she watched Gone with The Wind and cried.

When Amber woke the next day, she found herself not only wrapped in her quilt, but also in a feeling of utter misery following her disastrous date with Jake. She groaned and buried her face into her hands as she recalled how she had accused him of using his unhappy childhood to lure her into bed. While she watched Rhett and Scarlett on the T.V., her mind paced up and down her bedroom, one minute certain that it was for the best that she and Jake weren’t taking things any further, the next yelling at her for being such an idiot and reminding her that yes, she actually liked him –
really
liked him – and wanted to see how things would work out between them.

She sighed, and blinked up at the ceiling. Yes, she liked him, her mind could zig zag all it wanted, but her heart knew the truth. She wanted to make it work. All it would take was for her to stop being such an arse and letting her happiness be sabotaged by the broken heart that Daniel bloody Armstrong had kindly given to her.

So, determined to put things right,  Amber dragged herself out of bed with the intention of finding Jake, but  after searching the entire house, and even going back up to peek inside his room, Amber flopped down onto the sofa in the living room. She couldn’t find him anywhere. Resigned to this fact, she took her mobile out of her pocket and composed an apologetic text which would hopefully persuade him to come home.

After ten minutes there was no reply and Amber, sickness gnawing at her stomach, threw her phone onto the sofa.  Jake wasn’t usually the sort of person who stayed mad for long, so she’d obviously really upset him.

Then, as she was pondering this, and beginning to play with the idea that had he seen her text he would have eagerly responded but couldn’t because he was lying dead in a ditch or something, her phone suddenly shrilled into life, making her almost jump a clear six inches off the sofa.  With shaking hands, she grabbed the phone and looked at the screen.  Her heart sank. It was Martha.

“Hey Martha,” she answered, trying to sound bright and breezy and as if nothing was wrong in any way whatsoever.

“Hiya, you okay?”

“Yes fine.  How was Italy, and how is Portugal?”  Amber asked, trying to keep Martha on the safe topic of holidays in the hope that she wouldn’t ask about Jake.

“Italy was wonderful as usual, and Portugal, well we’ve only been here a couple of days, but it is really hot considering it’s only spring.  Thank God for air conditioning.  Anyway, I just wanted to check how things are going with you and Jake.”  Martha said with a definite ‘and don’t bullshit me tone’ to her voice.

Amber coughed to get rid of the lump in her throat.  “Erm, fine why?”

“Oh, so you haven’t fallen out then?”

“No more than usual,” Amber said, trying to sound casual and failing miserably.

“Liar,” Martha replied.  “Come on Amber.  Why did Jake drunk dial me at three this morning and leave me a voicemail going on about you not trusting him?  Plus, the fact that he can’t do anything right even when he’d taken you on the best date in the world?”

Amber dropped her head and groaned.

“Don’t worry,” Martha said. “I haven’t told Luke.”

“Oh thank God. The last thing I need is for him to start laying into Jake too.”

Martha’s laugh tinkled out over the line.  “I know what your cousin is like so he won’t hear it from me.  But come on, spill the beans. What happened?”

“But, if Jake’s already called you I don’t want to put you in an awkward position,” Amber replied.

“Amber, think of me as Switzerland – neutral.  Now come on, tell me your side.”

Amber took the next ten minutes to tell Martha everything, even her hurtful comment to Jake

“Yeah I know all about Jake’s mum,” Martha said.  “And for him to tell you was a big thing, Amber.  Apparently, he didn’t tell the guys until about three years after the band started.”

“Oh shit,” Amber groaned.  “So what I said would’ve really hurt him.”

“I think it probably did,” Martha sighed.  “Where is he now?”

“I’ve no idea.”  Amber bit at her thumbnail feeling worse than ever.  “I wanted to apologise to him and ask him to forgive me.”

“Why, because you feel bad, or because you do want to make a go of things with him?” Martha asked, direct and to the point as usual.

Amber hesitated, not because she wasn’t sure, but because she was still a little scared about voicing her feelings for Jake.

“Both,” she finally said.  “I really misjudged him, Martha.  He’s so kind and thoughtful and actually really funny.  And I honestly wasn’t thinking when I said he’d just been nice to get me into bed.  He didn’t even try.”

“Well, tell him that then.”

“I will tell him, when he gets home.” Amber replied gloomily.

“Tell me what?”

Amber spun around to see Jake standing in the doorway.  He looked slightly green and his eyes were bloodshot.  In fact, he looked terrible, not exactly the sexy rock star that his fans would recognise.

“Martha, Jake’s home.  I’d better go,” Amber said, and hung up the phone.

She stood up and walked warily across the room towards him.  “Where’ve you been?” she asked. “I’ve been worried about you. I sent you a text.”

“I’ve been over at the house, trying to sort out a problem with the electrician and my phone ran out of battery while I was there.”  Jake bent down and fussed over Ernie, who had just come through the dog flap from the garden.  “Hey, there Ernie.”  Ernie gave Jake a lick and then trotted off to his basket for a nap.

Amber moved a step closer and immediately the smell of alcohol invaded her nostrils.  “Blimey Jake, you stink.  Did you spend the night under a bridge drinking white cider?”

“Gee thanks, but a full bottle of whiskey on an empty stomach kind of does that to you,” Jake muttered as he ran a hand down his face.  “What were you going to tell me anyway?”

Amber looked down at her feet and took a deep breath.  She wiped her clammy hands on her jeans, nervous at his reaction and hoping that he would accept her apology.

“I’m so sorry for what I said yesterday.”  She looked up at him and gave a small smile.  “I really didn’t mean it.  I was being a total idiot.”

“Over what?” Jake asked as he leant against the doorframe for support as a wave of nausea swept over him.  “Accusing me of play acting to get you into bed, or of saying I’d used a sob story for the exact same purpose?”

“For both.  I know you weren’t just playing with me, and I know it must’ve taken a lot to talk about your mum.”  Amber reached forward and placed her hand on Jake’s bicep, relishing the feel of his taught muscle under her fingertips.  “I don’t think it was a sob story. It’s terribly sad and I can’t believe how together you are about it all.”

Jake looked down at Amber’s hand and then back to her face.  “You need to talk to me, Freckles,” he replied moving over to the sofa and dropping down on it.

Amber’s heart stuttered at him calling her Freckles.  Yesterday when he’d been angry she’d been Amber.  She followed Jake and sat down next to him.  Neither of them spoke for a few minutes; Jake with his head in his hands, and Amber watching him closely.  Finally, Jake lifted his head and looked at Amber.

“So, go on talk.”

Amber wasn’t sure what he wanted her to talk about, but guessed it was her reaction yesterday.  “I got everything out of proportion and reacted badly…”

“Yeah, I know that,” Jake said interrupting her.  “But what I want to know is why?  Who hurt you so badly that you can’t trust my feelings for you?”

“What makes you think someone did?”  Amber looked away from Jake’s searching eyes, not wanting him to see the hurt that was in her own.

“Because despite what you may think, I’m not such a caveman that I don’t understand emotions.  Anyway, Luke said that you’d had a bad time and needed a new start, so add that to your blow out yesterday and even a piss taking guitarist can figure it out.”  Jake folded his arms firmly across his chest, so that Amber was under no illusion that he wanted the truth.

Amber took in Jake’s determined stare and knew that it was now or never.  She really should tell him what had happened; she had to if they were ever going to move forward.  Hugging a cushion to her chest, Amber took in a deep breath and started to talk.

“It was my boss,” she almost whispered.  “We were in a relationship and I thought it was all going to end happily ever after.”

Amber paused, but Jake remained silent, nodding for her to continue.

“He told me he loved me, and wanted to marry me.  We were going to do it all, a nice house, some kids, the lot.”  Amber’s eyes fluttered with emotion as her memory wandered back to one of the worst times in her life.

“But it didn’t work out like that?”  Jake took Amber’s hand and linked their fingers together.  The moment that she’d opened her mouth, he saw the pain in her eyes and knew that being angry with her wouldn’t help her talk.  She needed him to show her some tenderness and support.

Amber shook her head.  “No, it didn’t.  He failed to tell me was that he was already married.”

“Shit,” Jake hissed.

“Yes, how thick was I?  I was his bloody P.A. and had no idea that he had a wife.  That probably makes me the worse P.A. in the world, right?”  Amber gave an empty laugh and marvelled at her own stupidity.

“How on earth did he manage to keep that little gem a secret?” Jake asked incredulously.

Amber shrugged.  “She lives in Scotland and apparently usually only contacted him on his mobile.”

Jake puffed out his cheeks.  “Did you not wonder where he was when he went home?”

“I thought that he was on business.  We worked for Blake & Harrington, the acquisitions company, so he’d have meetings all over the world and at any time, and it appears that he always took her with him.  Or he’d tell me that he’d be away longer than he actually was, and then go home to Scotland for a few days.  I should’ve realised; who the hell doesn’t take their P.A. on a business trip?”  Amber’s face coloured.  When she said it aloud, it sounded ridiculous even to her, but she honestly had no idea.  “He was always flying off somewhere.  I’d book his flight, but he’d telephone the airline and change it or book another seat for her.”  Amber laughed softly pushing the cushion that she’d been hugging to one side.  “We even moved into an apartment together three weeks before I found out.”

“How
did
you find out?” Jake asked squeezing Amber’s fingers gently. 

“One day he was in a meeting so his phone was on silent and his wife had been taken into hospital, so a neighbour rang the office and obviously as his P.A. I took the call.”

“And no one at the company ever told you?”

“No, we never socialised with anyone from the office, in fact I hardly ever spoke to anyone else other than the Managing Director’s P.A., and that was always about work.”  Amber’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she gave Jake a small smile.  “I have no idea how he managed it, but I didn’t get one clue in the whole year that we were together.”

Jake ran a finger down Amber’s cheek.  “Oh sweetheart,” he sighed.  His heart constricted at the thought of the pain she must have endured.

Amber shook her head.  “Don’t feel sorry for me Jake, it’s his wife who needs the pity.  As soon as I put the call through to him I packed up my desk and left.”

“What, you didn’t talk to him about it?”  Jake studied Amber’s face, his brow furrowed.  “I can’t imagine you not taking the opportunity to take his balls and shove them somewhere that would bring a tear to his eye.”

Amber laughed quietly.  “I was a coward, and believe it or not I hate confrontation.”

Jake couldn’t help but laugh.  “Sorry but I believe it -
not
,” he said.

Amber smiled.  “Well, I don’t.  Anyway, I knew it was true, I just didn’t want to hear the words coming from his mouth.”

“Yeah, but not to even speak to him, seriously it’s just not like you Freckles.”  Jake reached up and caught a strand of Amber’s hair in his fingers.  “You can’t wait to confront me at any opportunity.”

“Maybe I’ve changed,” Amber said, her voice almost a whisper.  “Anyway, I did speak to him in the end, but wish I hadn’t.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, he came straight to the apartment and begged me not to leave.  He said he’d leave her so that we could be together, and stupidly I fell for it.  I should have known though what sort of man he was.  His wife was in the hospital, but he didn’t go to her, the first thing he did was to try and calm down his bit on the side; probably in case I caused trouble for him at work.  What sort of person would do that rather than go straight to their sick wife?” 

“A shit, pissant, knob head by the sounds of it,” Jake huffed.  “So what changed?”

Amber took in a deep breath, not sure whether she could carry on, but knew that she had to.  “It was after he’d persuaded me to stay that I told him that I was pregnant.  Now, that’s when I truly saw him for what he was,” she said with a humourless laugh.

“Oh my god, you were pregnant.  Shit, Freckles.”

“Well your reaction was better than his,” Amber replied.