Rock the Boat (34 page)

One year later . . .

“Promise me you’ll wear this dress again,” Easton grits out in between thrusts.

Feeling like I’m slipping, I grip his arms harder. “I think you’re probably ripping it.” He stops pumping into me when we hear laughter in the distance, suddenly realizing pushing me up against the back of the bus wasn’t the best idea or the most private. That’s how it’s been on the road. Privacy is golden and there’s rarely an ounce of it. When we do get a moment alone, it’s usually something frantic with a lot of hands and limbs working against one another until we finally get our clothes off—only to be interrupted five minutes later.

“Is your back okay?”

“Yes, why are you stopping? Hurry up.”

He rests his forehead against mine, his breath coming out in slow, shallow puffs above my ear. “Jesus, what am I doing? You deserve more than being fucked against a dirty bus at two in the morning.”

I tighten my legs around his waist, drawing my hips as close to his as I can get them, pulling him farther inside me. With my arms around his neck, I whisper, “Maybe all I want is a quick fuck. Right here, right now.”

“I was hoping you were going to say that because I don’t think I can walk away. You feel so damn good wrapped around me.”

“I don’t want you to ever walk away, Easton. Okay? We’ve been on tour for a really long time. I hardly remember what it’s like to have you anywhere else. So, don’t stop. I’m okay.”

He stares into my eyes, searching for signs that I’m lying to him. He’s been paranoid since we left, always worrying about making me happy or making sure everything is perfect so I don’t resent him. “Promise me if it ever gets to be too much for you, you’ll tell me.”

“I’m fine Easton. I made it this long, what’s a couple more nights? Plus, unless Travis is game, who’s going to screw me in the middle of the night under the moonlight?”

“You want to screw my new manager?”

“He’s really nice. And he went to Penn State, too.” Travis isn’t much older than I am and ever since Theo flaked on the band, Easton knew it was time for a change. He kept me with him during the entire hiring process, wanting my opinion since I’ll be working so close to whomever was hired. If it was up to me, I would have chosen a girl my age just to have some more estrogen on the bus, but the best candidate was Travis. Easton saw it, too.

Which is why I’m surprised when he says, “I’m firing him in the morning.”

“You are not! I’m just messing with you so you stop being chatty and make me come already.”

“Lark,” he warns. “I love this filthy mouth of yours, baby, but you’re pushing me.”

“Shut up and fuck me, Easton.” That’s all the encouragement he needs because the next few minutes are more amazing than they’ve ever been. Whether I’m against this dirty bus or in a hotel room, my connection with Easton has only grown since the tour began. We had a few rough patches while we were working out the kinks. He would get jealous over stupid shit. I would get frustrated because we kept fighting. For a while I wondered if we were even compatible. But it’s moments like this one, when he’s inside me, pushing my body to the limit, that I’m reminded of what I fell for in the first place—his heart.

After he gives me one of the best orgasms of my life, he lowers my feet back to the ground. I stumble, and he catches me before my heels buckle beneath my exhausted body. “Is your dress ripped?”

I feel around and the black lace checking for tears, but it seems okay. “No, it’s fine.”

He kisses the top of my head and I wrap my arms around his middle. I could fall asleep standing up I’m so tired. “Go inside the bus and get in bed. I’ll be in a little while.”

“Why can’t you come with me?”

He finishes fastening his belt around his waist, never once looking me in the eyes. “I have a couple things to do with Travis. It shouldn’t take more than an hour.”

“Can’t it wait until morning?” This is the third night in a row he hasn’t come to bed with me. Where he goes, I have no idea. He says it’s because Travis is new and he has so much to go over with him. It’s true, but night after night it’s the same thing, and it makes me nervous.

He wraps me in another hug, squeezing me hard. “It can’t wait, but I promise I won’t be long. You don’t have to wait up.”

That does nothing to ease my mind. All I can do is watch as he walks away from me, wondering if I’m becoming more of a toy than a partner. The band’s on top of the world, their success taking the nation and world by storm. Tonight was the last show until the band parts ways for some much needed rest and relaxation. Meaning I’ll have him all to myself for a few days—hopefully.

I watch him walk away until I can’t make out his dark shadow under the lights of the parking lot. After stopping in the bathroom, I change into one of Easton’s T-shirts, and fall into bed. I think back to the meet and greet after the show, wondering if there was anyone he paid a little too much attention to, or if someone could have caught his eye. As hard as I try not to, I revert back to the way it was with Grant, wondering if I’m not giving him what he needs. I wonder if I’m not enough.

I wait the hour he told me he would be gone, but he doesn’t come. I wait another hour, and still nothing. When the clock finally hits four thirty, I pick up my pillow and blanket and walk to the bunk given to me at the start of the tour. I’ve only slept in it a handful of times, when Easton was sick and didn’t want me catching it, or the time we both slept in it when they were making repairs in the bathroom.

Dom peeks his head out of his curtain when he hears me rustling around above him. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, go back to sleep.”

As soon as I’m situated, the curtain opens and Gina climbs inside with me. It’s already cramped, but she makes it even worse. “Let me hear it, Lark.”

“I don’t want to talk tonight. I just want to sleep.”

Gina tucks my hair behind my ear and snuggles with me on my pillow. She pulls the blanket over top the both of us and holds my hand. “It’ll be okay, Lark.”

“He’s acting so weird. I’m scared, Gina.” It feels better once I say the actual words because I’m petrified. In my heart, I don’t think he would cheat on me, but I ignored the red flags last time when they were staring me in the eyes because I didn’t want it to be true.

“He’s not with anyone else, Lark. He loves you. Whatever he’s doing, it’s for the band.” She runs her fingers through my hair like a mother comforting a child until my eyes are so heavy I can’t keep them open another second.

The next time I do open them, it’s morning. Despite sleeping until almost noon, I’m still exhausted. My head is thumping, my back aches, and I’m still no closer to figuring out Easton than I was the night before. Crawling over Gina, I climb out of the bunk and check the bedroom. It’s empty, the covers only turned down on my side, exactly how I left it.

Like a dagger to my heart, I close the door and change as fast as I can. My sneakers are barely on my feet, the laces already coming undone because I tied them so poorly. Desperate for air, I hurry past Lane and almost run face first into Dom’s chest.

“Where’s the fire, woman?” Dom asks as he grabs the remote off the table to change the channel. The volume’s so low, he has the subtitles on to figure out what they’re saying.

“I have a call to make.” He nods his head but I don’t think he believes me anymore than I believe myself. As soon as I step off the bus, I walk toward the main street we passed when we rolled into town.

My stomach growls painfully before I find the coffee shop a couple blocks away. Inside, the tables are all full, but I wait in line anyway, hoping one opens up by the time I have my breakfast. Just the smell of the coffee makes me feel a little more human, and once I have my vanilla latte in my hands, I can breathe a little easier. That is until I spot Easton sitting at a table in the back corner of the coffee shop—with another girl.

I watch them joke back and forth while she’s tapping away at the keys of her phone, probably getting his number. My heart breaks into a million pieces when he gives her one of the smiles I thought was reserved for me. The ones I cherish and can’t get enough of when he’s telling me how much I mean to him. My coffee cup falls to the floor, spilling all over the tiles and my shoes when he reaches across the table and touches her hand.

Not even apologizing for the mess, I run out of the café as fast as my legs will take me, my lungs burning because I’m so out of shape. I don’t stop again until I’m back inside the bus. Dom’s standing in my way again, but I push him until I slide past him in the aisle by the bedroom door. “The fuck is going on with you today?”

I reach under the bed, pulling out the first suitcase my hands find whether it’s mine or not. I throw handfuls of clothing inside, not bothering to fold a single thing. It won’t matter once I get home anyway. But where is home?

I sink to the floor, with my head in my hands, struggling to breathe. I have no place to go once I leave here. I gave up everything I had, and walking out on Midnight Fate would mean I’m giving up my job, too. Easton has attached me to every inch of his life, and it’s only now that I realize it bothers me how little I have of my own.

Dom must have called Easton to figure out what my problem was, because five minutes later, he’s racing into the back bedroom, his eyes on fire when he spots the suitcase. “Where are you going?”

“Home. I’m done. I quit.” He moves to the carpet next to me, sitting down and reaching for my hand—the same way he did in the coffee shop. “I saw you with her.”

“What?”

“In the coffee shop. I saw you.”

His eyes widen as I wait for some bullshit excuse to come out of his mouth. Ones I’m sure I’ve already heard a million times in the past. “That was my cousin, Adriana.”

His response is so honest, I think I almost believe him. “Cousin? But you never came home last night.”

“I was with Travis and then before I knew it, it was morning. I already had plans to meet with Adriana, so I kept them.”

“Why should I believe you, Easton? How do I know you’re not full of shit?”

“Baby, please look at me. I hate it when you cry.”

I didn’t even realize I was crying until he brushes away my tears like he’s done so many times before. Once I’m staring him in the eye, I’m transported back to the ship when one look from him made my world tilt on its axis. That’s what I’ve been missing. He’s what I’ve been missing. Going home won’t help the way I feel if he’s not with me. “I miss us,” I choke out around a sob. I miss our privacy and it being just the two of us.

He reaches out and pushes my hair away from my face before tracing my bottom lip with his thumb. “It’s been chaos, I know it has. It won’t always be like this.”

“It’s getting worse instead of better. You’re gaining popularity with every show you do. Your songs are back on the charts like you wanted. It’s only going to get bigger and bigger from here. I’m proud of you, Easton, but I’m not sure if I still fit in the equation the way I used to. I love what I do, but I need more than working for you and occasionally sleeping in your bed.”

“Our bed,” he stresses. “I don’t want you, Lark. I
need
you. There’s a difference.”

“I need you, too. So much.”

“I was going to wait until tonight to do this, but I think the time’s come.” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out an envelope. He hands it to me and says, “Open it.”

I’m cautious, but do as he asks, and I’m so glad I do. Inside are two airline tickets to Florida. “Florida?”

“I’m taking you away for a little while, but you’ll need to work on this first.”

He hands me another envelope, this one a little thicker than the last. When I open it, I can’t help but smile. “The Perfect Match test?”

“Yeah, I’m thinking we need to go sailing for a little while. Clear our heads and spend some time together—alone. Very much alone.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Lark. I want you all to myself for an entire week. No distractions, no interruptions, and no work. We’re leaving everything behind.”

“When did you do this?”

“I’ve been preoccupied. This was part of it. I’ve been trying to come up with a way to surprise you. My cousin is actually a travel agent. She met with me for hours today, showing me all kinds of amazing places to take you. They were all perfect, but like you said yourself, I wanted to get
us
back. So, I decided to take you back where it all started—to our ship.”