Rocked Under (18 page)

"Only since you moved in." He waited for my reaction.

I frowned, "Since I moved in?"

"I haven't liked being with girls since you came."

I sighed, picking a bit of fluff off of his shirt. "Scott, you only want me because I've said no to you."

He sat up and grabbed me by the shoulders, "Is that what you think? Thats not the reason, Emma."

I shook my head, "It doesn't matter because I really need a friend right now. I want us to stay friends." I didn't think I could go through having sex again either. I cringed just thinking about it. "After everything thats happened with Adam and me the last week, I need a break."

"Did he hurt you?" his breath held.

I knew what he was asking and I might as well be honest. It might help him change his mind about me if he knew I hated sex. "Yes, it hurt and I hated it." My cheeks burned. "I regretted it before it was over and even more, I regretted that it was him." My eyes squinted with my scowl.

I looked at Scott then and watched as anger flitted i
nto his expression briefly. I wanted to forget about the whole thing.

Scott was silent for a long time.
What is he thinking?

"Did you love him?"

I shook my head.

"Forget about him then."

Scott stayed until I fell asleep but when I woke the next morning, he was gone.

Chapter Twenty

"He's telling everyone he got mugged outside Soundz by three huge men. Fucking asshole," Ash stomped with her mood. She was out for Adam's head.

It was Monday and I hadn't seen Ad yet and I didn't want to either. I wondered again how I could've been so blind to what he was really like and I kind of felt stupid that I had been taken in by him. "I’ll be happy if I never see him again. I still can't believwid><'ve bee he did it."
 

We were walking to the cafeteria. I felt slightly nervous at the thought of seeing him again.

"I’m so sorry, Em. He did seem a bit up his own ass but I had no idea he would try something like that." Ash opened the cafeteria door and we walked in.

"It’s okay, it's not your fault and nothing happened anyway. Scott got there before it got really ugly." I knew what would have happened if Scott didn't intervene.

Speaking of Scott, he was sat at our usual table with Meg and Newton.

"There’s our hero now." Ash faked a swoon but froze suddenly, her face turned red and her mouth curled.
 

Before I could stop her, Ash marched over to Ad who was watching her smugly. His face was one big bruise which satisfied me — a lot.

Ash bunched her fists, "You fucking asshole!" The whole cafeteria came to a halt.
 

I quickly went to Ash's side and grabbed her left arm to drag her away. I saw Scott out of the corner of my eye, he was rising out of his seat and coming over, his face a mask of wariness.

"Come on, he's not worth it." I sneered at him.

"Fuck you." Adam was talking to me now.

"Don't dare talk to her that way. I bet everyone believes that story you spun but I want everyone to know what you're capable of." Ash tugged her arm out of mine as Ad stood out of his chair and squared up into Ash's face.

"Try it, bitch." He was about an inch away from Ash with his fists at his sides.

"Sit down, Adam, before you hurt yourself." Scott said from my side.

"Tell Ashley to get out of my face and I will."

Before I knew what happened, Ash pulled her arm back and let it swing full pelt at Ad's already bruised face.

"Ah!" he shouted in pain. "Cunt!"

Scott went behind Ash quickly, looped his arm around her tummy and pulled her out of harms way behind him.

"You even blink in her direction again and I'll kill you!" Ash spat furious venom at him.

I looked around quickly, I didn't want Ash getting into trouble over this.

Scott was between Ad and Ash now, looking Adam squarely in the eye. "Sit down." Scott's authoritative voice brooked no argument.

"I get it," Ad said, "you want her for yourself."

Everyone looked at Scott in shock, which made Ad feel brave. "I’ve seen the way you look at her."

"Shut your mouth and leave." Scott growled.

"Do you hear that everyone?" Ad shouted at the toutn="op of his voice, "Scott's in love. Isn't that sweet?"

Everyone looked between me and Scott and I looked down at my toes, red-faced. It wasn't true.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Scott denied.

"Don't be pissed that I nailed her first."

I gasped.

Scott looked at me with a menacing grin, then he turned back to Ad with a fist connecting to the underside of his jaw.

Ad roared in pain and Scott took my hand and led me away calmly from the cafeteria. We exited to the sound of applause and cheers.

He didn't say a word but just led me outside and stopped when we reached the place where we kissed.

He pulled me into him. "Are you okay, baby?"

I nodded and pulled away. "I'm okay. I can't understand what I ever saw in that disgusting excuse for a human." I scrunched my nose, "Everyone will think we're–" I cleared my throat, "–you know."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Yes, it's a bad thing! I don't want any attention on me. Last week it was my virginity and now it's going to be this." I buried my face in my hands.

"It’s not that bad, Em." Scott seemed offended. "You could do worse, you could still be with that loser."

I looked at him, "I just don't want to be talked about, and now everyone will think that we're secretly together and you are always with some fucking girl." Now this week would be another full week of whispers and stares.

"I got that." His voice was harsh now. "I know you don't want anyone or me," he swiped a hand through his hair, "you really know how to make a guy feel shitty."

"You don't need a confidence booster, Scott. There isn't a girl in this place that doesn't want to be with you."

"There’s you."

"I–" I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to agree or disagree with his mood like this.

"You, what?"

"It doesn't matter." I crossed my arms and looked at him.

"You need to stay away from Adam." Scott said.

"I'll stay far away, don't worry."

"Good," Scott held out his hand. "C'mon, I'll walk you to your next class."

I looked at his hand and shook my head, "I don't want people to get the wrong idea about us and they will after that." I nodded towards the cafeteria.

Scott sighed.

We started to walk. "I don't want to dent your reputation as a one-night man." I teased, not finding the funny side. It wasn't really funny; the way he was the ay started total opposite of what I wanted or needed him to be.

I thought of something and stopped, pulling on his arm. "You wont get into trouble for hitting him will you?"

He put his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "I don't care if I do but I don't think he'll want it out what he almost did. You can still report him, you know."

"Hi, scott."

I rolled my eyes as another fan came up to him.

"I saw you play the other night and I just wanted to say," she grabbed both his arms and turned him towards her and away from me while giving me a sly smile, "you were just fantastic."

"Thanks, glad you liked it." Scott seemed to love the attention and he put his arm around her shoulder.

Why did it feel like that was for my benefit?
 

The girl smiled triumphantly in my direction before ignoring me completely. "I’m going to every gig from now on."
 

Ugh!
She was really laying it on thick.

"That’s what I like to hear, babe." Scott grinned at her beautifully and I felt a pang very close to jealousy deep in my gut.

"I'm just going to get on to class. See you later?" I asked.

"I think he'll be seeing
me
later." Brunette answered while screwing her nose up at me and curling her mouth while eyeballing me from top to toe.
 

It annoyed the hell out of me that she thought that I wanted Scott and couldn't get him. Her rudeness grated me so much that I wanted to snatch Scott out of her hands. Some girls were unbelievable and she only made herself look stupid.

I frowned at her as she continued to give me her best death glare. Then, all of a sudden, a laugh escaped me. What did Scott see in girls like this? She was way over the top.

"What's funny?" she put her hand on her hip.

I couldn't help it, I continued to giggle more as she placed her hand on her hip like a spoiled little girl.

I shook my head and walked away. Scott was watching me but I didn't care. The giggles were upon me and if I stayed there, they wouldn't go away

The week passed slowly and I hadn't seen Ad at all which was a good thing. People talked about Scott and me being together. I wasn't miss popular right now with all the girls that adored Scott out for my head. They thought I had taken him off the market but it wasn't true and when I was asked I said it was just a rumour. Scott found the whole thing funny and wasn't helping by not being his usual flirty self.
 

I had a feeling he was doing it on purpose to add to the rumours. I suppose when I thought about it, it wasn't really a bad rumour and I was being touchy by saying it really bothered me because it didn't apart from all the abuse I was gettise thng from girls. Well, not abuse but envious stares and questions. Oh, the questions, "Is he a good kisser," "what's he like in bed?".

"Why can't you go back to flirty Scott?" I huffed on Thursday after classes had ended for the day.

Scott put his arm around my shoulder and aimed his gorgeous smile my way. "I
am
flirting — with you."

"Oh, you're hilarious; you know what I mean." I removed his arm.

Scott’s face dropped slightly for a split second and then his easy grin was back in place. "Okay, okay." A wicked grin spread over his face then and I wondered what he was about to do.

Nothing could prepare me for what he did. He grabbed the nearest girl in his arms and started to kiss her, full on the mouth. And on and on and on, it seemed to last forever and I watched in slow motion as Scott snogged the arse off of this little redheaded beauty.

My heart kicked and a lump formed in my throat as I watched in shock as his hand crept down to her butt and squeezed as he pulled her closer. He broke off abruptly and Redhead looked dazed.

"There, is that what you wanted?" his voice was husky and the girl was ignored.

I smiled but I felt like my face was cracking and I'm sure he could tell."I–" I couldn't look at him any longer so I turned my face away. "Yeah," I replied in a small voice.

"Are you okay?" he asked and I looked at him for a moment.

"Yes," I said after a minute. "I have to go. I’ll see you later." I rushed off with the burn of scott's curious gaze on my back.

Ash, Newton and Meg were having a heated debate on whether Adam would leave me alone now. Why couldn't they stop talking about it? Ad's face had been absent since the scene in the cafeteria on Monday. I was relieved although I had an awful feeling that it wasn't over with him, not by a long shot.

From Under came on stage and Scott raised a hand in greeting to us, his gaze staying longer on mine with a thoughtful look. I wished I could get into his head and see what he was thinking. I was near the stage dancing around while he sang and strummed on his guitar. The way he held the mic, his hands were the best hands I had seen on a man. Even his stance was sexy, masculine. I loved it when he sang to me, his gaze seeking mine in a sea of hundreds of other eyes.

I tipsy by the time he came off stage and he was immediately surrounded by six girls, all vying for his attention.

I knew how they felt and I wanted his attention on me. I frowned at my errant thought, I shouldn't be thinking like that at all. I waited for him to come over to me like he usually did but I waited and waited until I saw him pick one of the girls and lead her onto the dance-floor. He didn't even look my way, not even once. I felt stupid then, dumb for waiting for him and thinking that he would come. I had no claim on him.

He didn't belong to me, he belonged to no one. Scott would never be any one persons man. I reminded myself that I didn't really want him and that I didn't wake up every day thinking about him or wonder where he was when I wasn't with him. But I would be lying to myself. I was falling in love with him. I stilled, a cold sensation going down my back as I realised that I was actually being honest with myself. I had been on a path that led to heartbreak for a while now and it had happened without me knowing.
 

Maybe I wasn't fully there yet but I was going to be if I didn't do something. The past flashed through my mind in a painful succession of images and painful expressions and I gripped the edge of the bar as my heart hammered hard against my ribs in fear. Fear of what would happen if I didn't take control now. Fear of losing control out of pain and hurt. Fear of hurting the people I loved.