RockMySenses (15 page)

“He said he thought I might some gargoyle blood in me.” I
erupted into nervous laughter. “And he showed me how he could transform.” I ran
my hand over my chin. “Why are you looking so serious? Shouldn’t you be
laughing and telling me I’m being crazy?”

My dad’s eyes bored into mine for a long time. His
penetrating gaze could speak volumes, especially when I was a teen getting into
trouble. Now I noticed something different I never really thought was strange
until now. The way he didn’t blink, his stony demeanor. When he spoke, my cloud
of blissful ignorance shattered. “You’re not crazy.”

“What are you saying?” My voice rung with uneasiness. “That
this could be true?”

My father continued to stare at me as if trying to
communicate something deeper. “Yes.”

“Mom?” I turned to her. “What is Dad talking about?”

“Listen to him. We weren’t sure if we would ever have to
tell you.”

“Tell me,” I repeated in a higher pitch. “Tell me what?” I
faced my dad.

“What you heard is true. You are descended from an ancient
tribe from the Catalan region.”

My eyes widened. “Gargoyles?”

Dad nodded. “Yes.”

“Holy shit.” I put my head between my hands and leaned
forward. “This can’t be happening.”

“It’s nothing to fear, Michael.” Mom put her hand on my back
and rubbed.

My mind clashed with racing thoughts and questions fighting
for prominence. After several moments, I tried to sit up with some composure.
“A gargoyle? I’m part-gargoyle.”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing,” my father replied.

My eyes widened. “Oh, I’m sorry. Should I show more
enthusiasm?”

“Don’t be snarky,” my mom said.

“Jeez, I don’t know how to react. It’s not every day I find
out I’m a monster.”

“Not a monster,” my mom said. “Just different.”

I stared at her for several long moment as if she’d lost her
mind. They both had. And me. We were a bunch of loonies talking nonsense.
Tomorrow I’d wake up and remember all this as a bad dream. My fight with Allana,
the encounter with Danton and my parents telling me something I would never
concoct in even my wildest sci-fi fantasies. “Tell me everything.”

“My father, your grandfather, is part of a Catalan tribe of
gargoyles that lived outside Barcelona.” My dad leaned forward. “The numbers
have dwindled over the centuries and only few pure-blood families remain.” He
glanced at a framed picture on a bookshelf of my grandparents. “He met my
mother in Barcelona, a human, and they fell in love. They married and had me
and my two sisters. We are a mix of what they both are—gargoyle and human. I
met your mother,” he nodded her way, “who is also human, and we came to the
U.S. after we married. Our family’s surname is actually an old Breton one,
Haerviu, which roughly translates as battle-worthy, but we adopted the surname
Harvey to blend in. After we settled into our new lives, we had you and then
your sister. Many gargoyles have mated with humans and our abilities diminish
with each generation as we become more human. But for some, the gargoyle genes
run dominant and they remain strong.” His eyes focused on mine with intensity.
“We have seen it with you growing up.”

“You’ve seen my gargoyle characteristics while I grew up.” I
shook my head. “You’re playing a joke on me, right? You have to be. What you’re
telling me can’t be real.”

“Think about it, Michael. You know you’ve always been
different from the other kids. Your intelligence, your preference for solitude,
your intensity in being able to focus, these are all gargoyle traits. Not to
mention your speed and your strength.”

I exhaled, contemplating this, and he continued.

“You might not remember as you were so young and weren’t
into athletics, but simply throwing a ball was something you couldn’t show in
any baseball game. The speed and distance would mark you as different. And not
just talented like what a scout would notice, but inhuman.”

“Inhuman,” I repeated. “I’m not human?”

“Yes you are. Three-quarters to be exact, so you’re mostly
human.”

“Oh well, that’s a relief,” I flipped my hand to emphasize
the sarcasm. “I always thought I was a freak. Now I know it.”

“You’re not a freak, Michael,” my mom said. “You are part
gargoyle. That’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of.”

“I don’t see Dad parading the fact.”

“You were such a precocious child,” my mom said in a wistful
tone. “With all the grade acceleration and trouble connecting to people your
own age, we didn’t want to add anything else to make you feel different.”

“You’re mostly human and we thought it best you live your
life as one,” my dad added.

“Mostly human? I can’t believe I’m hearing this. This has to
be a dream. No, a full-fledged drug-induced nightmare.” I closed my eyes and
reopened them. “What about Emma?”

“Your sister appears to have mostly human traits,” my mother
replied. “We’ve only seen the gargoyle ones in you.” She watched me carefully,
before adding. “Why don’t you get some air and let this sink in,” my mom said.
“It’s a lot to process. I’ll make us some sandwiches.”

I stood up to go outside, but then stopped in front of the
back door. “I feel— I feel so betrayed.”

“Please don’t feel that way,” she said. “We’re your parents
and we love you. We did what we thought was best for you.”

“I don’t even know what to make of this. It’s insane.”

“You have a lot to digest,” my dad added. “I’ve been there.
It takes time to come to grips with it.”

I opened the door and went outside. They had a few inches of
snow still on the ground out here. My parents had moved to the other side of
Route 495, the highway outside of Boston that served as a strange weather
marker in Massachusetts; weather forecasters often referred to it in their snow
predictions, noting what might fall inside or outside the 495 belt.

I paced through the snow while I thought about everything
they’d told me. What else hadn’t they told me? Could my father transform into a
monster like I saw Danton do? Could I?

I rushed back inside, wiping my boots on the mat so my
mother wouldn’t freak out. My mom was making sandwiches in the kitchen and I
found my dad still in the recliner. “So can you transform into stone, like a
statue?”

He peered up at me and shook his head. “No, I don’t have
that ability. Papa can.”

Pictured my grandfather turning into a stone monster seemed
incongruous with reality. “He can?” I whispered with incredulity.

“Yes. Scared the heck out of me when he first showed me, but
I grew accustomed to it over time. He didn’t do it often, though. Being married
to a human, he lived his life more as a human as time went on.”

“Would I—be able to change?” I asked with a mix of horror
and curiosity.

“You haven’t yet, so I’d think not. You should talk to Papa
to learn more. He can tell you far more about the family’s history than I can.”

After we ate, my father called my grandparents to let them
know the situation. He hung up the phone. “Ready to have your mind blown?” His
mouth twitched with a grin.

“It already has been,” I answered in a wry tone.

I drove the three of us to my grandparents who lived twenty
minutes inland. I put on NPR while we drove to listen to the news rather than
talk the entire way. I needed a break after what I’d heard and I was anxious as
to what else in my family’s history would be revealed. Despite all this new
information crowding my mind, I thought of Allana. So much had happened since
she left that morning. The revelations about my life created an even deeper
chasm between us. She didn’t think we were compatible now. What would she think
if she found out I was part gargoyle?

She’d already made it clear she wanted nothing to do with
me. It was time to let her go and move on with my life. And I had a feeling it
was about to become even more fucked up.

Allana

“I don’t understand why you’re not coming.” Lily and I were
discussing the details for the grand opening of my studio in her living room.
Memories of flirting with Mike on New Year’s Eve before we’d kissed flooded
over me, but I forced them aside. With all that had happened, it seemed as if
years had passed.

“I can’t do it that day,” she replied, averting her eyes.
“I’m sorry.”

“Why not?”

“Um,” she hesitated. “Just change the date and I can be
there.”

“Why can’t you tell me what you’re doing?” Lily had always
guarded her privacy, but I wasn’t going to let it go this time, not without a
reasonable excuse. “It’s obviously not one of your monthly New Hampshire trips.”

She paused for a long moment, her eyes flickering as they
searched my face. “It is.”

“But you don’t work there anymore,” I protested. “Why would
you need to take a business trip up there?”

“It’s not business,” she clarified. She breathed in exhaled
with a sigh. “I have something to tell you because I consider you my closest
friend and I don’t like keeping things from you. But you must promise to have
an open mind about it and not freak out.”

I replied with caution. “Okay, I promise.”

“Nobody knows this except my mom, Nico, and a couple of
other people.”

My curiosity piqued. “What is it?”

Lily clutched her hands in her lap and wrung them. “You know
when you told me about Mike and the gargoyle?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “What does that have to do with you?” And
why did she have to bring up Mike? As if I hadn’t thought about him every damn
day.

“It doesn’t, except it helps me explain my story. I’ve
learned to be open to the possibility of other types of creatures like that.”

“Like gargoyles?” I squinted at her. What the hell was she
talking about?

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because there are beings out there who can transform into
other forms. Who live in hiding because humans would fear them and likely hunt
them down.”

“You know this how?” I raised my eyebrows with skepticism.

“I am one.”

“Wow.” I jumped up. “What?”

“Please sit down and let me explain.”

I hesitated before I sat back down.

“I’m human, Ally, but I’m also something else. My father was
a shapeshifter.”

“What the fuck is a shapeshifter?” I didn’t like the sound
of that word and my confusion spun into fear.

“It’s a being who can transform from one form to another.”

I touched my forehead and closed my eyes for a moment. “And
you’re saying you can do this?”

She blinked twice. “Yes.”

I narrowed my eyes, not entirely sure she wasn’t pulling my
leg. “And what do you transform into?”

“A mountain lion.” She answered without skipping a beat. Her
expression softened like a weight had been lifted off her.

“Ha ha, you’re funny, Lily. Thanks for messing with me.”

“I knew you wouldn’t believe me. Nico didn’t either. I
finally built up the nerve to show him and it freaked him out. I don’t want
that to happen with you. But I don’t know any other way to show you it’s the
truth.”

“Are you saying you can transform into a mountain lion?” My
eyebrows rose to such heights, I could feel the strain on my forehead.

“Yes.”

“Well, you’re right. I think you’re fucking crazy. I don’t
know why you’re messing with me because it’s not funny.”

“I’m not messing with you.” Her tone was dead serious.

I’d humor her so we could get on with the joke, laugh about
it and get back to planning the opening. “Okay, fine. Show me.”

“Promise you won’t freak out.”

“I won’t.”
Because it’s not going to happen.

But something did happen. Lily stripped off her clothes
without any self-consciousness.

“Why are you taking off your clothes?”

“So I don’t ruin them when I change.”

“Oh, naturally,” I snarked.

While I tried to look anywhere but at her naked body, it
caught my attention. Lily’s body was changing. I watched in amazement as she
collapsed to all fours. The air around her seemed to shimmer with energy and
tawny fur burst from her skin. Her eyes took on a feline appearance and the
rest of her face followed. A tail elongated behind her and her entire body was
now covered in fur. Her hands and feet morphed and widened into paws with
sharp, threatening claws.

She was no longer a woman. A mountain lion stared at me in
the middle of her living room. I gaped at it. Then adrenaline took over. I
screamed and searched for a way out. The animal blocked the exit out of the
living room so I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. My heart
pounded in my ears and I fumbled locking the door, praying it was sturdy enough
to resist an attack by a four-legged animal with sharp teeth and claws.

I searched my pocket to find my phone so I could call 9-1-1.
Fuck, I must have left it on the kitchen counter.

How would I explain how a mountain lion ended up in my
living room anyway? Let alone how it was once the body of my friend.

“Ally, I’m me again. Let me in.” Lily knocked on the door
and she spoke. In her human voice.

I closed my eyes and wondered if I just imagined the whole thing.

“Go away,” I shouted.

“You promised you wouldn’t freak out.”

I did promise. And I’d totally freaked. “You’re not going to
rip my throat out or anything?”

“Of course not. It’s me. It’s always been me. You know I’d
never hurt you.”

I opened the door an inch, peeking out with caution. She
appeared human again. “You’re naked,” I said.

“You didn’t give me a chance to get dressed.”

“Oh.”

“I’m going to get dressed. Take a minute and come out. I’ll
explain everything.”

It took a couple of minutes, or maybe twenty, before I
gathered enough gumption to head back out and face my friend.

“You okay?” she said when she spotted me.

“I think so.”

“Sit,” she said.

I took a few steps toward her, keeping my eyes fixed on her.

“Stop looking at me like I’m going to pounce on you,” she
said.

I sat down in the arm chair, the farthest seat possible from
her.

“Really, Ally. You insult me. As if anything has changed
between us. I’m still me. I’m not going to attack you.”

My mouth dropped. “Everything has changed between us. Because
you are—a—”

“A shifter. That’s all that’s different. I can change from
human to a mountain lion. It’s not that horrible.”

“That’s huge, Lily. Unbelievably huge.”

“I know it takes a while to get used to, but please remember
I’m still the woman you’ve known. I’m still your friend.”

She was right. I promised to have an open mind and I hadn’t
been doing a good job of it so far. “Okay, I’m ready to hear this story.
Spill.”

“My father died before I was born so I don’t know much about
him, but from what my mom discovered he must have been a shifter. He always
disappeared during the full moon, which was something I had to start doing once
I hit puberty and went through the change.”

“What change exactly?”

“Besides the horrors of puberty, the horror of discovering
you turn into an animal during the full moon and there’s nothing you can do to
stop it.”

“Get out of here, Lily. That’s crazy. It’s fiction. It
doesn’t happen in real life.”

“Then how do you explain what just happened out here?”

I opened my mouth to explain, but closed it when I realized
I had nothing.

My mind raced to fill in some pieces. “Let me guess, there’s
a full moon on Saturday?”

“Yes.” Lily smiled.

I blinked rapidly. “So the guy I’d been sleeping with heard
he’s part gargoyle and my best friend changes into a mountain lion.” I threw my
hands up. “And I’m just a little old girl who thought I had a normal life.
Guess that idea’s blown.”

“It’s not that bad, Ally. I’m still me. Mike is still Mike.
We are still the same people you know even if there’s a part of us you don’t
understand.”

I didn’t know how to process this now, or if I ever would,
so I changed the subject. “I guess this means I’m changing the date of the opening
because you have to be there.”

Somebody else would still be missing. Someone who’d help me
set up a sweet sound system in my studio and a computer system that shaved
hours of time from paperwork. I swallowed when I realized how much I wanted him
there.

Mike should be there.

I thought about calling him, seeing if we could patch things
up.

No, it was a warning sign. It blew up now before it exploded
with far worse repercussion down the road.

Mike

“So you know who you truly are, yes?” My grandfather patted
me on the back. He had a twinkle in his eye as if he’d been waiting for this
moment a long time.

We moved into the living room. The familiar, worn brocade
wallpaper and floral couches with lace doilies my grandmother had sewn seemed
comforting, even though everything I’d known about my grandparents was now
upturned. My grandfather sat on his worn brown recliner while Dad, Mom and I
squeezed onto the couch.

“If you mean, have I heard about the gargoyle bloodline,
yes,” I responded. “But actually, I’ve never been less sure of who I am in my
life.”

For a man in his seventies, I noticed how young and spry he
seemed. I always chalked it up to him having good genes, but maybe there was
more to it.

“It’s time you hear the whole story then,” he said.

My grandmother brought us tea and cookies, the way she
always did when anyone stopped by. This was one occasion where I had no
appetite.

“You know where I was born, but my childhood was one you
wouldn’t recognize.” He leaned back in his chair while I leaned forward.
“Gargoyles tend to live apart from human society, yet watch over it. As
children, we are taught by the elders and when we come into adulthood, we move out
into the world, take posts where we can protect others. You see, we are
different from humans, but we feel compelled to protect them as well as other
beings. As the watchers and protectors on Earth, we find posts where we can
observe. From stone.”

“Stone? You were once in stone?”

“I am stone,” he corrected. “Always. Only now I spend most
of my time in human form.”

I glanced down at the coffee table. My parents hadn’t
touched their tea or cookies either. “I saw a man transform into a beast.”

“Not a beast.” He raised his index finger. “A gargoyle.”

“I’m sorry, Papa.” I shook my head. “I just can’t wrap my
head around this.”

“Of course not. You were raised as a human. But your
gargoyle side has been developing, no?”

My grandfather had a way of asking questions that ended in
yes and no and I found one of his endearing qualities.

After I nodded, he asked, “Has anything happened recently
that would trigger this change?”

A jumble of confused thoughts swirled through my head,
fixing on the night at Vamps when I saw Allana and Nike backstage. “This all
started when I was at a club. Two women were—um, kissing—and that’s when I saw
this guy Danton.” My entire family seemed to have ceased breathing, all eyes
fixed on me. “He did some strange gesture, like trying to erase what I had
seen, and then when it didn’t work, he seemed surprised. He’s the one who later
told me he was a gargoyle and asked about my family.”

“Ah, yes. Some gargoyles are able to modify memories so
they’re muddled, but it’s only to be done under extreme circumstances. What
happened that he didn’t want you to see?”

I pictured the scene again with Allana, one that had
replayed in my mind dozens of times. It both turned me on and then infuriated
me to think of Allana being attacked. “I thought two women were kissing, but
one bit the other on the neck.”

“Like a vampire?”

“Yes, but vampires aren’t real.”

Papa smirked. “Did you think gargoyles were real a month
ago?”

“No, but…” It dawned on me that Allana might have been bitten
by a real vampire and I bolted out of my chair, quivering with rage.

“What is it, Michael?”

“She bit my girl.” No, not my girl. Allana made it clear
that she didn’t want that role in my life.

“Who did?”

“That woman.” My mind reeled with emotions. That’s why
Danton was trying to keep the women apart. He knew she was a vampire attacking
Allana.

“Tell me about this girl,” he said.

“I can’t right now. I have to go.”

I had to find Danton.

Allana

When I entered the studio early the morning of the opening,
I breathed a sigh of relief. It was all coming together. Something that had
started out as just the spark of an idea was turning into a reality, bit by
bit. A part of me wondered if this was all a dream. An exhilarating, wonderful
and often terrifying dream.

I put the placard outside to remind passersby that today was
the grand opening.

Stop by for some fun and prizes!

In all the days that had passed, there was no word from Mike.
Each time my phone buzzed, I hoped it was him so we could make things right
between us, but apparently I’d pissed him off enough he was done with me.
Served me right.

So many times I thought of calling him. With all the help
he’d given me, I should invite him to the opening at the very least. Each time
I picked up the phone to call, I hung up. What the heck would I say?

I had much to keep me busy as a distraction. Besides
finishing up my final days at the gym with all the goodbyes that went along
with it, and dropping plugs about my new venture, Lily and I had been promoting
the heck out of the opening. Well, mostly Lily. I answered her questions and
she ran off to the papers, posted online and so on. I owed her so much.