Rocky Mountain Mayhem (17 page)

Nelson, getting into the ass groove, said,
“Can you please pass me a graham
crack
er?”

With that, it was on.* The girls, Nelson and
the couple next to them cracked joke after joke. Ass-girl never
indicated she heard or cared that they were making fun of her
mostly bare butt cheeks.

Wrapping up the ass jokes, Vivian said, “I
think I hear wolves howling at the moon,” which instigated howls at
the moon from the girls, the couple, even Wade.

“Aooooouuuuuuhhhhh,” they bellowed.

They enjoyed the fire for a while longer,
then the girls decided to pack it up, and Nelson escorted them
upstairs.

As Lucy closed the door to their room, she
yelled, “That was fantabulASSSSSSS!”

Day 4

VIVIAN awoke to the sound of the sliding door
closing and water running in the bathroom. The warm, cozy bed
enveloped her, and she snuggled deeper under the comforter, pulling
it over her head.

Lucy’s perky voice chimed, “Rise and shine,
sleepyheads.”

Wendy groaned, flipped over and plumped her
pillow.

Guess she’s not ready to get up,
either
, Vivian thought.

“Kate’s already up and at ’em,” Lucy said as
she pulled back the room-darkening curtains. “It’s a beautiful day
outside, and look at this view.”

Vivian didn’t move.

“I said,” Lucy said, yanking the covers off
Vivian’s head, “look at that view!”

Vivian peeked with one eye, then promptly
shut it. “It’s too bright.”

Lucy smacked Wendy on the butt, then yanked
her covers off, too. “Up!”

“I thought we were here to relax,” a sleepy
Wendy said. “That’s exactly what I’m doing.”

Lucy jumped from one bed to the other. “We’ve
got big plans today. We work out, then we spa, then we bike ride in
Vail, then we fire pit. Come on! Get up up up!”

“Bike ride?” Wendy moaned, still in bed.

“Yes! Vail Village reminds me of Switzerland,
so picturesque. I’ve already reserved bikes for us today at 5, and
I know the perfect place to watch the sunset. I even bought special
snackage for the occasion. Then we’ll ride back into town and go to
dinner at Hail-Yeah, the only ‘casual’ place in Vail.”

“When did you go to Switzerland?” Vivian
threw a pillow at Lucy.

“I haven’t, but I’ve seen pictures.”

“Whatever,” Wendy said and rolled out of
bed.

Vivian thought about the day’s activities,
and that spa idea was enough to get her moving. “I’m in for your
itinerary,” she said to Lucy, then grabbed her comforter and a box
of white powdered donuts and joined Kate on the balcony.

“Mornin’,” Kate said and took a sip of her
coffee. “Breakfast of champions, I see.”

Vivian popped a whole donut into her mouth.
“Roo row rit.” She coughed, and a cloud of powdered sugar floated
in the sun’s rays.

Wendy had poured herself a bowl of cereal and
stepped out just in time for the sugar cloud. “You should balance
that with a banana at least.”

Vivian shook her head and licked her fingers.
“I think I’ll just balance with another one of these.”

Lucy and Kate grabbed granola bars for
breakfast, then the girls changed into their workout gear.

Vivian knocked on Nelson’s door and let him
know about their workout and spa plans.

Lucy marched down the hall. “The workout
starts now. Forget the elevator, we’re takin’ the stairs down.”

Kate slumped her shoulders. “That’s eight
floors.”

“Nine, actually. We’re going down to the
lowest level. You can do it.” Lucy pushed open the door to the
stairwell.

The girl’s steps echoed as they marched down
the nine floors. Their soles squeaked on the turns as Lucy
periodically cheered them on.

Overall, not too bad, but she can forget
it if she expects me to go up this way
! Vivian thought.

“Ladies, ladies, ladies!” Lucy chanted as
they walked into the gym. She took in all of the equipment and was
happy to find everything they needed. “Have I got something
fantastic in mind for us today! I’ve been working with a new
trainer and I have written up some of my workouts for us to try.
It’s a circuit that we will do three times – you may feel like you
are going to die, but I assure you, you won’t!”

Vivian kicked a machine. “I have high blood
pressure, remember. Don’t kill me.”

“You’ll be fine.” Lucy went around the gym
setting up the various stations and providing a demonstration on
each one. Vivian, Wendy and Kate made faces and sounds at each of
the activities. Without missing a beat, Lucy got everyone in
position and yelled, “On your mark, get set, go!”

Moaning and groaning, her reluctant subjects
began the workout. Lucy, with her unwavering enthusiasm, refused to
allow even the slightest amount of slacking off and ignored the
“drill sergeant” and “Trainer McGuire” comments coming out of the
girls’ mouths.

As round one neared completion, Lucy was just
getting warmed up. The other girls sounded as if they were injured,
or perhaps, dying.

“So much whining!” she yelled, then tossed
them each a towel. Lucy took a quick sip of strawberry-infused
water. “If y’all are this worn out after one round, this should be
your wake-up call – this is exactly what you should be doing
several times a week so you
don’t
die.”

Wendy, who was actually the least whiny
during round one, got off of her machine and draped her towel
around her neck. “I’d like to be able to walk tomorrow, so I’m
done.”

“Come on, Wendy, you can do it. Keep going,”
Lucy encouraged.

“Nope, stick a fork in me. I’ll be in pain as
it is, but no need to add insult to injury.”

Lucy was disappointed, but knew better than
to mess with Wendy when she’d made up her mind. She focused her
attention to Vivian and Kate, who, after seeing Wendy’s retreat
also said they were done.

“Oh no, no, no,” Lucy said, showing no mercy.
“It gets easier. Keep at it.”

Round two was surprisingly quiet. Lucy
assumed that they either needed all of their breath for the
workout, or simply didn’t have enough oxygen to make a sound.
Either way, she was happy they had cooperated and remained
encouraging of their efforts.

“Last round!” Lucy yelled.

Vivian and Kate responded in unison. “Thank
God!”

Lucy rolled her eyes and continued to push
them through exercises. Vivian and Kate’s form rapidly deteriorated
and they did a few less reps despite Lucy’s vigilance, but they
managed to complete the workout. At the end of the last set, Vivian
and Kate threw themselves on the floor, gasping.

“I can’t believe you do that almost ever day,
Lucy.” Vivian sucked in some air. “I think my lungs are collapsing.
Call a medic.”

“You did great for never working out. If you
keep at it, you, too, could have my fine form.” She did a Vanna
White sweep up and down her side.

Kate bent her knees, but otherwise made no
move to get up. “I don’t have time to do this on a regular
basis.”

“You have to make time.” She glanced at the
floor, then back to the girls. “There’s no telling how many germs
you’re rollin around in down there. Y’all should get up.”

Vivian and Kate stayed put and continued
their death rattling.

Lucy offered them each a hand and helped them
up. “Might want to hit the hand sanitizer on the way out.” She
pointed to a dispenser, turned and headed toward the door. “You’ve
been detoxified of all, well, some of the alcohol you’ve consumed,
and this workout is going to make you appreciate your massages all
the more.”

“But I wanted to feel good in my massage,”
Kate said. “I hope the pain searing through my body doesn’t
interfere.”

“That’s exactly why I stopped,” Wendy said.
“I was thinkin’ ahead.”

Lucy harrumphed at that.

“As long as my masseur is cute and has strong
hands,” Vivian said as the door to the gym closed behind her, “I’m
going to forget about pain and stress and everything else. My
relaxation begins now!”

THE torture of Wonkita’s workout behind them,
the girls headed to the locker room to shower before their
massages.

Once clean and comfy, they each claimed a
lounger in the ladies lounge.

Vivian looked over at Lucy. “I notice you
avoided the Gravitron during our workout today.”

Lucy gave her the stink eye.

“What? I’m just sayin’.”

“Say nothing.”

Kate looked at Vivian. “What’s a
Gravitron?”

Vivian glanced at Lucy. “It’s an amazing
piece of exercise equipment that, unfortunately, isn’t for the
short in stature.”

Lucy huffed, then walked to the beverage
station. “I don’t need to hear this story. Living it was bad
enough.”

Wendy put down her magazine. “This sounds
good.”

“Oh, it is,” Vivian smirked. “We were in
college and Gabrielle had free visitors passes to her gym, so the
three of us went.

“Lucy wasn’t the gym connoisseur she is
today, and neither of us knew how to work most of the machines. I
stuck to the usual equipment, you know, stuff like the rower and
the treadmill, but Lucy wanted to try out the Gravitron. It was
smack dab in the middle of the gym. It must have been their newest
toy, and they were showing that bad boy off.

“She decided to give it a whirl and stepped
on the platform. She was then automatically boosted up to a bar
about eight feet in the air.”

“Boosted her up?” Wendy interrupted.

“It had some kind of hydraulic motor or
something. I dunno, but it kinda just popped her up there. It was
really cool.”

“Huh.”

“So Lucy grabbed the bar and pulled herself
up to where her chin was just over it. Well, the little booster
step then went down, leaving her hanging there.”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes. She hung on for a few seconds, her
feet dangling, and started searching frantically for a step, any
step. Of course, the platform was long gone and she didn’t know how
to make it come back up.”

“Did you help her?” Kate had a blanket pulled
up to her nose and was giggling behind it.

“I didn’t know what to do, so down she came
with a loud thud!” Vivian smacked her hands together. “She was
sprawled out, flat on her ass.” She laughed again at the
memory.

“Is this where you helped her?” Kate
asked.

Lucy turned from the beverage station,
dunking her tea bag. “No, she
never
helped me.”

“It was funny. I did my usual point and
laugh, then pretended to not know her. I am ashamed to admit, but
then I walked away.”

“You did not.” Wendy threw her magazine at
Vivian, which missed.

“I did.”

“It really is amazing she’s still your
friend,” Wendy said.

Lucy grabbed a dried banana chip and threw it
at Vivian. “That thing almost killed me!”

“Oh, you were fine, and it was damn
funny!”

The door to the ladies lounge opened and a
tall, thin, middle-aged man wearing a tight black T-shirt and black
slacks entered.

“I’m looking for Vivian,” he said.

Vivian picked up the dried banana from her
lounger, popped it into her mouth and waved. “That’s me!”

“I’m Stefan. I’ll be providing your massage
today.”

“Excellent,” Vivian said, as he turned back
toward the door. She turned to the girls and gave a thumbs up. “See
y’all later in the grotto!”

Stefan led her down the hall to the Snowflake
room.

“Please disrobe to your comfort level, remove
any jewelry and lay face down here,” he said as he pulled back the
sheet. “Do you have any areas that require special attention?”

“My lower back sucks since I had the twins,
but other than that, the usual. I don’t want any of that deep
tissue, stick-your-elbow-in-my-back business, either. I just want
to feel good. You know, relax.”

“I understand completely.” He folded the
sheet on the massage table back, smoothing it gently. “The table is
warmed and ready. I’ll be back in a few moments to begin.” He
stepped out and closed the door behind him.

Vivian didn’t have on any jewelry or a stitch
of clothing, so she placed her robe on the hook on the back of the
door and slipped under the sheet. She stuck her face into the oval
cutout and wiggled around to get comfortable.

I bet this will be the best massage
ever
.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
It smells wonderful in here. I wonder what that is. Juniper
?
Not piney enough. Juniper mixed with something
? She took
another deep breath.
Lavender
?
Honey
?
Heck, I
don’t know
.

She turned her attention to the music.
Are
these chanting monks
? The next song began and sounded like wind
blowing through trees, caressing a chime from time to time. While
she enjoyed it, she’d enjoy it more if her masseur was already at
work.
What’s takin’ him so long
?
My time better not have
started yet
.

After another couple of minutes, the door
opened and shut with a thud.

The masseur stood over her and cleared his
throat loudly, then cracked his knuckles, one by one. Apparently
ready, he slid the sheet down to her waist, then poured warmed oil
onto her back. He rubbed his hands back and forth across her back,
though not with much finesse. He moved from her upper back, to
shoulders to neck, then abruptly to her lower back, almost on her
butt. Vivian squirmed a little, and he moved back up to the middle
of her back.

As he worked she could feel him close to her.
His breath was steady as he glided his hands along her back,
running them along her side and occasionally touching the side of
her breasts.