Rocky Mountain Wedding (6 page)

“It's because of the baby,” she sniffled. “I knew she wasn't ready. She needed more time to adjust…” The words dissolved into a cry of agony.

Sawyer inhaled deeply enough to stop his own torment.
Think like a cop.
He had to think like a cop right now and take action. Every second that passed meant she got farther away from them, and he knew the statistics. The more time that passed the less chance they had of finding her.

He sprinted up the porch steps, an adrenaline-fueled fire burning through him. “We need pictures of her.” He caught Ruby's hand in his and tugged her back into the house. “Recent pictures. Print some out.”

“I'll help you,” Aunt Elsie said, rushing to Ruby's side while he took off to the bedroom to pull on a sweatshirt and snatch his cell phone off the bedside table. When he came back out into the living room, Ruby was slumped on the couch holding her face in her hands.

Aunt Elsie stood nearby, talking on the phone. Had to be Thomas, from the sound of things.

“Hey.” He knelt in front of his fiancée, searching for her eyes, attempting to fill her with the hope and confidence he was so desperately trying to grasp.

“We have to find her,” she moaned. “We have to find her right now. We don't even know how long she's been gone…”

“I'll find her,” he promised. He would fucking mobilize everyone he knew. Every person he'd ever had a conversation with in this town. He'd beg for their help until they had an army out searching. He shot to his feet and snatched his keys off the coffee table.

Ruby clawed at his shirt. “Where are you going?”

“I'm gonna call the station and start searching. They can get the word out.” They could organize and set up perimeters and call out the search and rescue dogs. But he had to get out there now.

Ruby flailed to her feet. “I'm coming with you.” She started to fly past him, but he caught her in a bear hug.

“No.” He gazed down into her eyes. “Ruby, honey, I need you to stay here.”

She fought his grip. “I can't! I have to come with you. I have to find her…Oh God, our sweet girl…”

“She might come back on her own.”
God, please let her come back.
“If she does, you need to be here for her.” He steered her to the couch. “And you need to think about the baby. Too much stress isn't good.” She already looked weak and sick. He felt it, too, a raw fear taunting at the back of his mind, pounding through his pulse points. But he couldn't let it take over.

“I have to go.” He nodded toward Elsie. His aunt would have to keep Ruby here and do her best to keep her calm.

“Come on, dear,” Elsie said, taking her hand. “Let me make you some tea. Everything will be fine. They'll find her,” she reassured in that wise, comforting way. “Thomas is already on his way to the station, too.”

Ruby allowed herself to be led a few steps, then stopped abruptly. “Oh God. Oh my God.” Sobs racked her upper body until she bent over. “I can't believe she's gone.” The expression on her face gutted him. Her eyes were wide and hollow, her mouth twisted with pain. “So many things could've happened to her.” She gripped his shirt in her fist. “We can't lose her, Sawyer,” she gasped, swaying as though she was about to faint.

“We're not gonna lose her,” he said firmly, holding her up, letting her sob against his chest.

“Okay, honey. Everything will be okay.” He lifted her into his arms and lowered her to the couch, smoothing his hand over her hair until she raised her eyes to his. “I need you to have faith in me, Ruby,” he said, his own raking fear taking his voice low. “I'll find her. Trust me.” He rested his hand on her belly. “Take care of our little peanut. That's your job right now. To wait for Brookie to come home and take care of this baby.”

Leaving her in Aunt Elsie's capable hands, Sawyer sprinted out the front door and called dispatch to report a runaway. God, a runaway. He'd heard too many stories about the terrible things that happened to girls who ran away. Traffickers picked them up. Or they got hurt. She was on her bike. Crossing streets…

Shutting it all out, he climbed into his truck and peeled down the driveway, straining his eyes to see through the early-morning haze. Nothing. He saw nothing but deserted streets that were just as empty and dark as his heart. God, where was she? He didn't know. He had no idea where to start looking, but he would find her. He would walk every square mile of this town until he got her back.

They couldn't lose the daughter they'd only just found.

R
uby had experienced terrifying nightmares before—dreams where she'd felt the fingers of darkness curl around her neck, suffocating her with fear. She'd wake, heart racked with convulsions, pearls of sweat rolling down her temples. Though stuck in a state of chaos, all she had to do was inhale the familiar reality of her new life—the laundry-fresh scent of her comforter, the melon candle she kept on the nightstand. Then she could exhale the terror. But now every breath she took in, every breath that left her lips, kept her suspended in a cold and complete darkness.

On the outskirts of everything, she was vaguely aware of the concerned whispers rebounding between Paige, Avery, Julia, and Elsie, but she couldn't seem to bring the world into focus so she could hear what they were saying. She could only picture Brookie's sweet face, those bright innocent eyes, the curious quirk to her mouth.

My God.
Ruby thought she had already been through hell—the victim of neglect in the foster system growing up, coming out of it only to find herself tangled in an abusive relationship. But she didn't know it was possible for her heart to hurt like this.

Their little girl had walked away…

“Ruby, sweetie…” Paige wedged herself next to her on the couch. “Can you try to eat something? Please?” She held up a plate. “Elsie made scrambled eggs and bacon. You need the protein.”

The salty scent made her stomach clench with a nauseating shudder. She pressed her fingers against her lips, shaking her head slowly back and forth, that small movement making her dizzy. “I can't,” she whispered. Her body—her heart—felt completely empty, but she couldn't fill it with anything besides the joy of holding Brookie in her arms again.

“You need energy,” Avery said gently. She sat on the coffee table across from Ruby, knees touching hers, bouncing a squirming Lily on her lap. “And so does the baby.”

Looking right through them, she searched the other side of the room for Elsie. “Has Sawyer called?” she asked, wringing her hands to alleviate the strain in her heart.

“Not yet,” the woman murmured. “But he's only been gone for a half hour, dear. They're likely still getting organized.”

A half hour? Was that all? It seemed more like a year the way the minutes had stretched out, tormenting her with their never-ending silence. Each one gave her mind cause to wander farther and farther into the realm of ugly possibilities. “What if she went into the mountains?” Brookie was so small, so vulnerable, and she had no one to protect her out there…

“Then Sawyer will find her,” Julia insisted, wheeling herself over. “Along with Isaac and Ben and Bryce. They're all out there searching. They won't stop until they find her.” She said it with such confidence, such unwavering hope, that it buoyed her, giving her a better grasp on her waning strength.

“I should be out there, too.” They were all out searching for her daughter while she sat here helpless. She was so sick of feeling helpless. There was a time in her life when she'd let weakness take her over, when she'd believed she didn't have the power to change things. But she thought she'd left that scared woman behind.

“You need to rest,” Avery insisted, settling Lily on the floor.

“Rest?” The wisp of strength sparked anger and built within her until it fortified every cell. “I'm not dying of cancer. I'm pregnant,” she spat. Why had Sawyer made her stay at the house? Why the hell weren't they out there searching together?

I need you to have faith in me.

She didn't know how. She didn't know how to hold on to that faith when a chunk of her heart was missing.

“How about some tea?” Elsie set a steaming mug in front of her. “It's chamomile. Your favorite.”

Though the anger boiled, she tried to force herself to smile and say thank you. These women had been with her through the worst of everything. Through the time when she'd gone back to confront her abusive ex-fiancé, through the months of counseling and dealing with the lingering pain after. They had befriended her when she had no one else in the world. They'd become her family. They'd made her strong enough to face anything.

Even this.

Hands trembling, she lifted the mug and sipped. The warmth blazed a trail down her throat, warding off the cold fear that had encased her heart. Inhaling, she straightened, stacking her shoulders, even under the unbearable weight. She'd had to dig deeply to find her courage before, and now she was braver and stronger than Sawyer was giving her credit for.

After another sip of tea, she plunked down the mug on the coffee table. “I can't sit here and wait.” She started to stand, but Paige tugged her back down.

“Whoa, chica. We all know you're Superwoman, but right now you have to think about the baby.”

“I am thinking about the baby,” she shot back, not caring that her voice had risen. “I'm thinking about my entire family, damn it.” Things wouldn't always be easy. There would be battles, moments of darkness and despair. Life had already taught her that. And she refused to hide from them. She refused to let Sawyer take this on by himself.

Shaking off Paige's grip, she pushed to her feet. “My little girl needs me.” She stared them down, focusing her glare mainly on Avery, who'd pulled her toddler back into her lap. “What would you do if you were me?”

The woman's gaze dropped to the ground. She got it.

“I'm going to look for her.” And no one could stop her. Not her friends and not Sawyer. Something had happened to Ruby when she became a mother. When she'd made the decision to adopt Brookie—to make the girl hers forever—her whole focus had shifted. And the only thing that mattered to her in the world was making sure her daughter was safe.

Taking their silence as a victory, she stalked across the room, ripped open the closet door, and pulled out a coat. “Elsie and Julia, will you wait here in case she comes back?”

“Well, of course, dear, but shouldn't you eat some—”

“Thank you.” She cut off Elsie before glancing at Paige, then Avery. “Are you two coming with me? Or am I doing this alone?”

They exchanged a concerned look, but both stood, and Avery handed Lily off to her grandma.

“Of course we're coming with you,” Paige grumbled. “But you're telling Sawyer we did everything in our power to try to stop you. Understand?”

“Yes.” She would happily tell him she defied his orders to be part of the search party that was looking for Brookie. He didn't get to take that away from her. He didn't get to treat her like a child. Sawyer should know her well enough to know she didn't need to be protected all the time. This was supposed to be a partnership, only he wasn't giving her the chance to carry her part of the burden.

He didn't think she could handle it, but she would prove him wrong.

A frigid wind blew straight through her as Ruby got out of the car.

Heavy gray clouds sagged over the mountains, shrouding the peaks in a gloomy haze. She'd always thought they were so beautiful—the towering granite spikes that loomed at a distance, but now they looked dangerous. Cold. Brookie could be out there somewhere, wandering alone in the unforgiving wilderness.

They hadn't found her yet.

On the way over, Paige had called Ben to get an update, and he'd told her everyone was gathering in the park. They'd already had the police search the airport and bus stops, and they'd set up perimeters on the highway at both ends of town, he'd said. But they hadn't found her. The next step was launching a foot search.

Paige came around the car and gathered her in a half hug. “Look at this! Half the town must be here.”

Staggering under the weight of it all, Ruby turned, taking in her first view of the park. It had always been one of her favorite spots in Aspen—a small manicured gem in the center of town. Green grass, a small playground, and a bandstand where they put on summer concerts. She and Sawyer and Brookie had had a picnic there just last week, enjoying the last of the Indian summer they'd experienced through October.

Now, instead of kids playing and dogs chasing Frisbees, the park swarmed with orderly activity. A massive crowd had gathered around the bandstand. Police buzzed among them, handing out flyers, directing them.

There had to be a hundred people here. All searching for Brookie. “Wow,” she whispered, hope percolating once again.

“Look at all of these people,” Avery said, pulling on a wool cap. “We'll find her for sure.”

The sight of so many people here to help made Ruby believe it. “Come on.” She linked her arms through Paige's and Avery's, and the three of them made their way across the street. It wasn't hard to find Sawyer. He stood in the center of the chaos, head ducked in to talk with one of the other officers on the scene. When he saw her approach, his jaw locked. “Thanks, Sommers. Keep me posted,” he said, dismissing the other man.

Ruby's heart ached with the need to be wrapped in his arms, to feel his solid body against hers to quiet the storm inside of her. But his stony expression slowed her steps. She wriggled away from her friends and stopped, studying him from a distance.

Stress lined his mouth and eyes. His gaze wouldn't quite meet hers. He marched over. “What're you doing here?” His fatherly tone set her on edge. It almost sounded like he didn't want her here.

“I came to search for Brookie,” she ground out. “You can't expect me to sit around and do nothing.” All she'd done was imagine the worst possible things that could've happened to her. At least if she was out here, moving, searching, she would be
doing
something.

“Go back to the house, Ruby,” Sawyer said with an uncharacteristic coldness. He looked at Paige. “Take her home.”

“Excuse me?” His sharp tone delivered a blow to her heart. “This is not your decision,” she informed him. “I'm staying. I'm going to search along with everyone else and you're not going to stop me.”

His cheeks seemed to hollow, like he'd aged ten years in a matter of minutes.

“Um, we'll just wait over there,” Paige murmured, dragging Avery toward a table where someone had set up a coffee station.

“What's the plan?” Ruby demanded before he could start lecturing her about taking it easy again.

Sawyer stared at something over her shoulder. “Bryce and I are taking the ATVs up Aspen Mountain.”

“You think she went up the mountain?”

“I don't know,” he snapped, turning his back to her. “I don't know where she is.”

She watched him stalk away, swallowing back tears. Why was he acting so distant? Sawyer never talked to her this way. He never raised his voice and dismissed her.

She caught up with him and grabbed his arm. “I'm coming with you.”

He jerked away. “There's no way in hell I'm letting you come with us.” His head shook. “On an ATV, Ruby? Are you out of your mind?”

She fought the sting the words caused. “I want to help.”

He finally looked at her, straight into her eyes. She waited for him to pull her close, to stroke her cheek the way he so often did. Instead his face hardened. “You shouldn't even be out here. The stress isn't good for the baby.”

“The baby is fine,” she nearly yelled. Pressing her eyes closed, she tried to regain control. “But Brookie isn't. She's alone, Sawyer. And I sure as hell am not going to sit on my ass at home while she's out here somewhere.” This time she turned her back on him. He'd shut her out. He'd pushed her away when she needed him. When he needed her. “I'm staying,” she called over her shoulder. “So deal with it.” By the time she'd made it to Avery, Bryce, Paige, and Ben, the trembling in her hands had spread to her shoulders.

Sawyer stood where she left him, upper body slumped, staring at the ground. An overwhelming sadness tempted her to run back to him, but he'd made it clear he didn't want her around. Grinding her jaw against the tears, she latched herself on to her friends again. “Come on,” she said, tugging them toward the street. “We're going to start searching the town.” She would knock on every door they passed until she found someone who'd seen Brookie.

“Is Sawyer okay with that?” Avery asked uncertainly.

“It doesn't matter.” He wasn't even acting like Sawyer. It was like he'd become someone else.

“He's scared,” Paige said, linking her arm through Ruby's. “I've never seen him so scared.”

Ruby kept walking. “He's not acting scared. He's acting angry.” At her. As if he blamed her for the whole thing.

Avery slipped in front of her, cutting off Ruby's steps. “Think of how this feels for him, sweetie. He's used to being in control, solving people's problems. But right now he feels as helpless as we do.”

“Then why won't he say that?” Instead of pushing her away? Instead of talking to her like she was five years old?

“He's in cop mode,” Paige said. “Trust me. I've seen it before. When he's on a case, he doesn't break his focus for anything. Especially not for emotions.”

“But that's not fair. You can't do that in a relationship.” She didn't want him to hide that part of himself from her. That was real. He'd seen her cry so many times. He'd seen her at her worst. He didn't always have to be the hero. He could hurt, too. He could be lost. Then she could help him find himself again just like he'd done for her. That was what a marriage had to be. They had to be in it together. “I want to be there for him. I want him to
let
me be there.”

“Maybe that's what he needs to hear.” Paige nudged her back toward the park.

Her shoulders slumped. Her friends were right. Sawyer had shown her nothing but patience, especially when she hadn't been willing to let him in all those months ago. He deserved that same patience from her.