rogue shifter 05 - caught between (3 page)

"It seems to have worked out well for you."

She arched an eyebrow at my rather personal remark, but then said, "At court, those who are like Liam are not treated as equals of the full blood fae. Liam is well loved in Cascade."

I swallowed another sip of wine and decided to change the subject, since this one was making me a little uncomfortable. "Your name is so lovely. Does it have a special meaning?"

She laughed. "Our true names are long and unpronounceable by non-fae. We only use a small portion of the name, something that a non-fae can easily say. We each get to choose."

"Liam's brother
chose
the name, Aedus?"

She laughed again. "You should hear the rest of his name. Aedus actually means
fire
in ancient Gaelic, so it is rather appropriate, I believe. " Her violet eyes glowed teasingly.

"He's hot stuff, right?" She nodded and we both grinned in a girl-to-girl moment. Aedus was the epitome of male fae beauty: 6' 6", with long silken dark hair, rich purple eyes, well-defined muscles and a face a god might envy. None of his peers could beat him with a sword and he rode a horse like he was an extension of the animal. When he used his magic, his aura burned with golden fire. Hot didn't do him justice.

After another sip of wine and a moment to cool down, I asked, "So you're considered a princess? And Ashlyn, Philladre, Kaera and Brina?" They were the female children of the Elders.

Her eyes glittered with amusement, "You take your life in your hands if you refer to the warrior sisters that way. However Philly and Ash are perfect princesses, do you not think so?"

"And you too, Kellaine." She certainly looked like a princess, with her thick red wavy hair tumbled down around her shoulders and her startling violet eyes glittering from reflected firelight. Her perfect porcelain skin and full lips would make many mortal males kneel at her feet and pledge to adore her for all time. Definite princess material.

She was shaking her head. "No, those two are perfectly content to live out their days in Faerie, fulfilling their destiny. They are all that their parents could hope for in a fae lady. But as you see, like the sisters, I want to experience more. For instance, decorating this room gave me much joy, a pursuit which the Elders would find to be utterly useless."

"It's lovely, thank you." She beamed at me and nodded in the fae way. "And so Farrell is a prince, too?" Farrell was very young in fae terms, only eighty-five mortal years, and he spent much of his time learning about and using modern technology.

She snorted out a derisive laugh. "My brother certainly
thinks
of himself as a prince. He likes to be waited on hand and foot when he is home, driving mother to distraction. But he is another one who loves the mortal world. I am afraid he has been breaking hearts here for the last year or so."

"But aren't he and Ashlyn...?"

"They are lovers, but not bound to each other. She has other lovers as well. They are very young." My face was heating up in a blush. When she noticed she shook her head, laughing. "If your race conceived so rarely, and you wanted a child more than anything else, you would also be taking in lovers. This is our way."

We were quiet for a minute or so, watching our men lean over the pool table in interesting ways to make their shots. I broke the silence first, hoping she didn't think I was judging her. "Well, that King Fin....whatever, he sure was a busy guy."

Her musical laughter brightened the room. "Finvarra, yes, and amazingly fertile. As you see, the Elders each have two children, so they inherited his potency." She looked back at Liam, who was chalking the tip of his cue, focused only on the game. "I would give up centuries of my life to have a child with Liam. I take no other male to my bed."

Her frank statement didn't shock me, as I'd grown more used to the honestly of these extraordinary people over the few months I'd known them. Although she didn't look at me, I knew she wanted me to say I'd help her. I'd healed Aedus when he was injured by Lord Kennet during my rescue, and soon afterward Philladre had become pregnant. There were rumors flying around Faerie, that I'd somehow been responsible for his fertility. I knew that wasn't the case, but it didn't stop the talk. My healing had been only of the
psychological
variety.

I decided to offer a suggestion, having been through the process myself. "There are hundreds of thousands of human children who need homes and love. Why don't you adopt?"

"We cannot, because we are Seelie Fae, and cannot raise those that are without fae blood in Faerie. After four or five years, the constant flow of magic would cause them to grow ill and die. It has been tried in the past."

"Can you raise them here?"

"Liam has his house here in the mortal world, but our true home will always be in Faerie. We could not leave the child behind."

I tossed around what she'd said. "There might be some kids who're fae, but think they're human, abandoned by their fae parents. I didn't know I was a shifter until a few months ago."

"No fae would leave their child behind to be raised by humans."

Her eyes had darkened with anger, but I continued. "What if the child were half fae, like Liam?"

She wrinkled her brow in a very human expression. "Perhaps, if the fae father did not know about the child." I had her complete attention now.  "Could you find such a child, if he existed? Is it possible with your team's investigative skills?"

I suddenly realized I might have opened a can of worms. "I can only help you if the child is in foster care. If the child is living happily with his mother, or has been adopted already, I can't..."

"He will be ill if he is only living in the human world. I can convince the parents to give the child up. A fae child should be raised by..." She looked at my belly and then met my eyes once more, realizing her mistake. "I understand, of course. I could never truly take a child from its mother. Forgive me."

Somehow I knew I could trust her, the way I did Liam. I felt her distress, so without thought I touched her hand, being careful not to send out healing energy, a serious faux pas when dealing with the fae.

"My life would have been very different if a shifter family had adopted me instead of leaving me to be passed from one human family to the next, none of them able to cope with my odd behavior, at least until the Crawford's took me in. I'll ask our team to look into it." William and Sinc could probably hack into foster care records, along with a lot of other sources.

Her eyes were wide with hope. "I would raise a child such as this without hesitation." She glanced away from me, withdrawing her hand. "I cannot speak for Liam, but I would raise the child alone if he did not agree. We are not bound. He may not wish to make this commitment." She looked at me dead on, her anxiety replaced with an intensity that had me leaning away from her. "I know that you and he are very close."

"Only as friends." She seemed about to ask something, but then changed her mind. This time
I
was amused. Time to clear the air. "He kissed me once to transfer some fae magic, enabling me to beat Antoine in the duel, but other than that he's never even flirted." I shrugged. "We're both healers so we need to talk things over sometimes to keep in balance." I looked at my lifemate who was watching Liam line up a shot with an annoyed expression. "Garrett and I are sealed and happy."

Liam must have sensed Kellaine's eyes on him because their gazes locked for a moment, as they probably exchanged a few words in private. He smiled warmly and then turned to watch Garrett approach his next shot.

She gave me an impish grin. "You do know that he could have transferred his magic in a number of different ways, yet he chose to kiss you." My surprised expression let her know that I hadn't known, which made her laugh softly. "He is curious about life in a way that typical fae males are not. And you are a lovely young shifter, full of life and magic." She shrugged.

"I don't know whether to feel shocked, flattered or embarrassed." I laughed.

"His friendship with Garrett held him in check, I'm sure. Traditionally, fae males take what they want, as his father did, and Finvarra before him, but Liam approaches life on his own terms. His differences make him harder for me to read, but they are, perhaps, more like my own."

She reached for my hand, which was unusual for a fae. "If you could find this child you speak of, I would give you anything you ask. I swear this on my blood."

I grinned. "You fae and your pledges." She lifted her chin, looking slightly offended. Seelie fae spoke the truth, although some were masters at skirting or fudging it. "I apologize. I don't mean to make a joke of your offer. I'll do whatever I can and ask only for your friendship in return, and of course, your skills as a decorator." I swept my arms around to indicate the lovely room.

I felt relieved when she smiled warmly. "Yes. I believe we can be friends, although I never would have thought it possible. Liam asked me to make an effort, but I did not expect to feel so comfortable talking with you. There is something inside of you that connects to the heart of a person. I like it.  All of my skills are forever at your disposal, including my abilities as a warrior. I only ask that you call me Kellie when we're not in Faerie." She nodded with her hand over her heart, sending me a wash of her amazing magic, and I nodded back in my own simple way.

Turns out, it was very cool hanging out with this particular faerie princess.

CHAPTER FOUR

Garrett and I sat in a swinging chair on the terrace outside our room, his arm draped over my shoulder and his fingers playing with my blonde hair. Below us the waves crashed against the outcroppings of rock that jutted into the Pacific, cratered with tidal pools and smelling of salt and seaweed. Kellie and Liam had retired to their room, so Garrett and I took this quiet time to reconnect, as we did most nights.

"How do you feel, my love?" His breath was warm against my cheek.

"I'm fine. Charlie's been quiet today. No kick boxing lesson."

"Good. You and Kellie seemed to be having a long conversation." He was dying to know what we talked about, but he wouldn't pry unless it was something he considered important.

"I like her. She adores Liam. And she explained about the fae prince thing."

"Ah, the royal connection."

I turned my body toward his and slid my hand across his chest and then down to his waist, snuggling against him. "But how are
you
?"

He was quiet for a moment or two, then sighed. "Too many memories. Too many ghosts."

"Even on this lovely balcony?"

"Eleanor liked to drain her prisoners to just short of unconsciousness and then dangle them over the side of the terrace to hear them beg. She always dropped them."

His voice had taken on that flat tone that I hated because it meant that he was lost in sorrow somewhere far away. I couldn't stop myself from shuddering, so he wrapped his arms more tightly around me and rested his chin on top of my head. "Pardon, mon ange. I'm not behaving as you'd hoped."

I sat up and shook my head. "I don't expect you to pretend that nothing terrible happened here. This is incredibly hard for you. The worst thing in your entire life happened here."

"I can hear them, " He sighed. Shocked, I watched his eyes glaze over as he started to lose himself again in horrific memories.

"Garrett." My voice brought him back to the present, his expression etched with pain. "None of it was your fault." He started to protest, but I interrupted. "Shh." I ran my finger over his mouth and I watched his eyes pop with tiny silver dots. "I'm here. I love you. You had no power to change what that bitch did to you or anyone else. And anything you feel is okay. If you want to smash something or curse at the heavens or cry, then do it. No one will judge you, especially me. You saw what I was like after Kennet—after he took me."

"It's not anger anymore, it's more regret. Especially now that you and Charlie are in my life. I think about my family because I have one of my own, and those thoughts lead me back here." He shook his head and twisted his mouth in irritation. "It's been over one hundred years since they died. I don't know why I can't let them go." He raked a hand through his hair, one of his 'tells' when he was stressed out.

I took that same hand in mine and pulled him out of the chair and over to the railing. The stars were spectacular. I pressed my back against his chest and wrapped his arms across me so we could look at them together. "Think about your family's energy floating around out there in the universe, at peace and together for all time. You're the one who's had to live with what Eleanor did to them and to you and to all her other victims.

I put one of his hands on the railing, covering it with mine. "This is just a terrace and a railing, not a torture chamber. Not anymore."

I spun my body around to face him, still cradled in his arms, then rose up for a kiss. His mouth met mine in a rush of warm affection, his soft lips parting so our tongues could explore the now familiar terrain of our mouths. He tasted like the sweetest forbidden fruit, comforting yet terribly exciting, making me press myself closer.

When we pulled apart, his eyes had lost their pain and he was smiling. "You are a miracle, still, to me." He stroked my face and then kissed both of my palms. "You're wrong about the worst thing that happened to me. It was when Kennet took you and I feared that he might kill you."

"You got back two for the price of one." I rubbed my belly. As horrible as the experience had been with Kennet, I'd grown to love my tiny son and looked forward excitedly to his official appearance.

"And now I'm twice as happy." He leaned over and kissed my belly then picked me up like I weighed nothing at all and carried me into the bedroom. We spent the last couple of hours before dawn making love and whispering sweet endearments, chatting quietly about Charlie and what life would be like after he was born. As Garrett brought me more joy than I thought possible, I wished again that I could find some way to heal this pain he'd endured for so long.