Roman: Book 1 (15 page)

My right eye flutters open but the brightness of the room and the beeping of the monitors that have gone unnoticed until this very moment causes pain to splinter through my skull again and my eye squeezes shut. Behind my eyelids the brightness of the room dims. “I’ve closed the blinds and dimmed the lights; it should make it easier for you to open your eye for me.  Will you try again for me, please?”

I cautiously open my eye to peek through my lashes, bracing for the pain.  Slowly I open my eye and relax as the room comes into focus.  I survey the room looking for the person connected to the voice softly speaking and settle on a petite woman with dark hair and blunt cut bangs.

I watch as she nervously pushes her glasses up her nose before smiling, “Very good. I want you to blink for me. Once for yes, twice for no. Are you in pain?” I furiously blink my eye until she leans over me and softly repeats herself, “Ms. Mackenzie. One blink for yes. Two blinks for no. Now, are you in pain?”

I blink once and she removes a syringe from her white lab coat before connecting it to my IV and pushing the plunger of the syringe slowly.

“This is Diluadid. It’s a pain medication, its main side effect is drowsiness, however if you can please, I need you to remain awake while I ask you a few questions, do you think you can do that for me? Remember, Blink once for yes, twice for no.”

I blink once. The drug begins to make itself known as the sharp pain ebbs and drowsiness settles my racing thoughts. “I’ve read over the police report, but there are several holes. Now, think back, can you remember if you were alone at the time of the incident?”

I blink once and stare at her. Through the drowsiness I realize there are two different ways I can go about this. One option will lead to Roman Payne under lock and key, at least until his army of attorneys arrive. The other option is to respond the way Roman would want me to by leaving as many holes as possible while backing up the pieces of story he knew I was alert enough to hear.

The two factors causing my hesitation are one, if my brothers are already dead there’s no reason for me not to go with option one. However, if my brothers are still alive, I have no other option than to go with the second in order to keep them alive.

At this moment I have no clue where their fates stand, taking choice from the equation. I do however know which option I can choose and always easily go back and undo.

In the end it is the doctor’s next words that seal my very own fate.

“Does the father of the baby know you’re fourteen weeks pregnant?”

I struggle to use my heavy limbs to sit up and my mangled throat shoves out, “Wha-?”

“Shh. Shh, shh, shh. Lie back down before you injure yourself any further.”

I gawk at her in utter horror, begging her to explain there has been a mistake, or hell, even laugh and announce it’s April Fool’s day in France, but all she does is look down at me in a mixture of pity and empathy.

“I guess it’s safe to assume by your reaction you didn’t know you were pregnant either.”

I blink once answering, yes.

“Hmmm… Well, for now I would like to congratulate you,” She smiles  at me and I blink over and over two blinks—pause—two blinks—pause—two blinks—pause.

“Shh…Heather, stop it, you’ll send yourself into an anxiety attack or worse a seizure if you don’t calm down. Okay,” She sighs as she takes her glasses off with one hand and squeezes the bridge of her nose with the other but continues, “So, I-I take it this is not welcome news.” She huffs, blowing her bangs out of her eyes before replacing her glasses on her face. “Were you alone in your hotel suite, to the best of your knowledge?”

I stare up at her for three full seconds before blinking once.

“Did you walk in on a burglary, Heather?”

One blink.

“Can you recall how many there were?”

Two blinks.

“Was Mr. Payne in the suite or anywhere in the hotel at the time of the attack?”

After staring into her green eyes until mine dry and well with tears, I blink twice sending them spilling down the sides of my face.

“No? Are you saying no, Heather? Or are you blinking your tears away? Blink once for tears, and twice for no being your answer.”

I quickly blink twice but on the second blink I leave my eyes closed allowing the narcotic IV drugs to pull me under into the blessed dark blanket of unconsciousness.

I hope. Which is something I can honestly tell you I do not recall ever doing before, however hope is the emotion I felt swelling in my chest as I walked away from my little mouse lying in the hospital bed. I hoped she would prove herself worthy of these feelings I have vehemently tried to deny from the beginning. To say she has pleased me immensely would be a mockery of the feelings I feel surging through me as I listened to Dr. Pearson retell pieces of the conversation she had with Heather after my departure yesterday.

She babbled on about something I will have to discuss with Heather whenever she is ready, but honestly I barely made out the words before spinning on my heel and stalking towards the waiting room dialing Andrew.

“Mr. Payne?”

“Andrew, my bride to be has decided she is indeed a worthy companion. Any plans her accident put on hold, cancel. Protocol is to remain as before.”

“Will do, sir. And congratulations to both you and Heather.”

“Thank you, Andrew.”

I walk into the gift shop and spend ten torturous minutes picking through the disgrace of flower arrangements available, I settle on the only one without a single bruised petal and hand it to the florist. “Take that cellophane off. Do you have a vase in this God forsaken shop?”

“Ahh…Y-yes, sir.” I follow the direction she points to with my eyes and grit my teeth to keep myself from cursing when I see the selection.

Cheap dime store glass litters a shelf on the opposite wall. I sigh heavily and select the least offensive in the collection and hand it to the cashier as she removes the remaining mustard yellow cellophane. “Here, put them in here with water, and put some of those little sprigs of white flowers in and around them too.”

“Baby’s breath is ten dollars extra.”

My eyes cut to her in a scathing look as I slide my black American Express card across the counter. “Do I look like I care about spending ten extra dollars on baby’s breath?”

She does as I ask without further comment and swipes my credit card as I jot down a note tor my little mouse.

I am euphoric as I stroll towards Heather’s room with the ghastly bouquet held proudly in front of me. I rap graciously on the door and push into the room scanning briefly before my eyes land on hers.  My forward momentum falters as my eyes consume the sight before me. What I see before me is not what I assumed was under the macabre of bloody matted blond hair covering the woman’s face the hysterical housekeeper held in her lap weeping over.

Nothing could have prepared me for this gruesome sight lying disfigured in front of me.

The left side of Heather’s face is so swollen it resembles a grotesque mask of a creature whose left eye has been sewn shut in the corner near her temple with a line of stiches from her hairline to behind her ear.  The right side is equally bruised and marked with obvious finger prints, all ten easily discernable and if anyone had mind to, they could easily match mine with the ones across her battered face.

When I barely see a sliver of her white sclera around her brown iris my lips try and fail at attempting even half of a smile before I whisper, “Hey, you…”

Her eye closes as she rolls her head away from my gaze and tears leak from her swollen eyes and I no longer wonder at the strange tightness in my chest.  I know Heather has found my heart and I have no words, only the thought buzzing in my brain ‘How many firsts can one man bear in a single day?’.

Any doubts I had about being born with a heart unable to feel love, pain, or both all at the same time, is instantly shredded within this single moment.

I lean over to set the flowers on the bedside table and mutter a disgrace of all apologizes, “Sorry, they’re hideous and cheap, I know.”

Then with a divine grace she trumps the only other person besides myself I have witnessed decimate a soul in one swift strike in less than a second she splits me from chin to groin with nothing more than seven raspy words, “I’m pregnant, Roman. Congratulations, it’s a girl.” Her harsh voice whispers, sending my hand in an involuntary seizing movement that sends the goddamn flowers and it’s vase crashing to the floor.

A myriad of thoughts and emotions bombard me and I slowly retreat, dropping my chin to my chest. The sudden jolt of my shoulders hitting the wall behind me barley registers as I slide down the cold wall.

My ass connects with the floor and my feet slip from beneath me as my hands fall lifelessly to my sides. My eyes stare blankly at the back of Heather’s head as her words ravage all I have ever been. 

“I’m pregnant, Roman. Congratulations, it’s a girl.”

I watch Roman emerge from Mac’s room and know I only have a short amount of time to sneak inside. I have to know she’s okay. And I won’t rest until I see her alive with my own two eyes.

I silently slip inside the room pausing as my eyes adjust to the dim lighting.  A few seconds pass before my eyes make out the chaotic mess he’s made of her yet again. Rage ignites and flares through my veins as my vision blurs in tears and red haziness.

I gradually move closer trying to control the bile splashing up in the back of my throat.

My eyes trace the lines of her profile and while anguish grips my soul I whisper in a broken voice, “Ce qu'il a fait pour vous?”

What has he done to you?

How many times will it take before she finally runs away? How much blood? How many broken bones?

She is the strongest, weakest woman I have ever known. And as pathetic as it is, it makes me love her even more.

After I wipe the tears from my face I mutter a vow I will uphold, even if it costs me my own life. “Un jour, mon amour, je vais vous emmener loin de cet enfer dans lequel vous vivez. Je promets.”

One day, my love, I will take you away from this hell in which you live. I promise.

When I move to take a step towards her I’m stopped by the sound of footsteps approaching her hospital room and silently slide behind the bathroom door directly beside the door being opened by Roman fucking Payne.