Authors: Diane Greenstone
She managed a weak smile and nodded. She took the dresses from him, and followed a helpful attendant to where the dressing rooms were. She started to dress herself, and with every single dress she put on and looked at herself in the mirror, she felt like she really wasn’t that pretty. She could point out all of her flaws with this, but at the same time, the fact that he cared enough about her to want to make things better for her and to help buy her something pretty and expensive was kind of sweet in its own way. After she put the dress on, she came back out, and immediately Pierre beamed.
“You look magnificent!” he beamed. It was an honest opinion as well, and Marissa smiled. Even though she didn’t believe it herself, and thought that Pierre was just doing this to make her smile, she couldn’t help but appreciate the compliment.
“Thanks. I just don’t feel that great in it,” she said.
“Well, just keep on trying what you like. I’ll be waiting,” he said.
She tried on a few more dresses, with a plum-coloured dress that she tried on last being the only one that made her feel remotely beautiful. She couldn’t believe that she was actually feeling this way about herself though, for she always felt like she was kind of boring and plain in just about everything that she wore.
“You know, you’re a beautiful girl, and I admire the way you look. When you’re given the right outfit, you’re a complete beauty queen,” he said with a smile.
She blushed, but he simply smiled back. “Thank you. Let’s head on back,” she replied. She honestly believed Pierre was doing this just to make her feel good. She didn’t think she was some gorgeous woman who could tantalize others, or even one that could be called beautiful. She honestly thought the entire time that he was just telling her this to make her feel better, but at this point, she didn’t know what to think.
After he paid for the dress, which cost more than she had ever paid for one in her life though (he didn’t even bat an eye when he paid), they went back to his apartment. When they got there, she could see the wealth practically oozing from everything that was around. There were paintings on the wall by famous artists, hi-tech gadgetry everywhere, and lush furnishings adorned every room. She lost count of the number of rooms he showed her, and she knew it probably cost him a fortune.
“I can’t believe how beautiful this place is,” she said to him as they completed the tour of the apartment.
“Indeed. I enjoy living here very much. He looked at her kindly. And to be honest I’m happy to have met you. Let’s sit in the living room and we can discuss everything,” he said.
She nodded, heading towards where he pointed. This place was stately as well, and already she was blushing at how opulent this place was, and thinking about her rather dingy one-roomed apartment she was living in. But she tried to keep her negative thoughts at bay, sitting across from him and looking at him with wide eyes.
“So, what is this competition about?” she asked him.
“Well, to put it simply, it’s an art competition being held in the Louvre. The winner gets a million Euros in prize money, and their sculpture showcased around the world, which generates more money for the winners as well. The theme is something that people have to look at and see inner beauty. For me, your inner beauty is there, you just don’t know it, and I want to showcase that to the world,” he explains.
She blushed again while listening to him. “I don’t think I’m beautiful though,” she said.
“Well, don’t worry, because I’ll show you how sensual you can be. Because you are, even though you don’t want to admit it. You have a great personality, a warm heart, and you have a great body as well. I don’t think people realize the true beauty that is right in front of them.”
She nodded, agreeing with him but not fully feeling this. Maybe over time she would feel better about this, but she really didn’t know, and right now, she couldn’t help thinking that he was simply trying to make her feel good for the sake of the competition. But at the same time, there was a part of her, deep down, that didn’t mind the compliments that actually began enjoying this man doting over her.
“Fine, let’s do this,” she finally said.
They went over to Pierre’s studio, where a large unfinished marble block stood, waiting.
“Great, I’ll get started forming the sculpture and such,” he said, gathering his tools.
He started chipping the marble block into shape, all while giving her little smiles and looks of reassurance. She wanted to believe this man, she really did, but deep down, she didn’t know what to feel. She wanted to keep her head up, to think that maybe she was born to do this, that she was pretty enough to be a sculptor’s model, but she wasn’t to believe all this was happening, rather, she would wait a bit for the real feelings to surface.
**********
She continued to visit him every evening as he continued working on the sculpture. The deadline was month from when they started, and time was of the essence. At first, she felt awkward always bringing the same outfit to wear each night, but when she put it on, there was something different about it each and every time. It was almost ethereal in a sense, like she was exposing a new side of herself that she normally never did for people. In a way, she didn’t mind the idea of being a model in this case. Sure, she never thought that it would happen any other way, but it was still nice to think about.
He was also very handsome too. With every single session, she realized that Pierre looked great for his age. He kept in shape, his hair still full of life despite the fact that he was significantly older than her, and he seemed cool with just about everything. In her eyes, this man seemed even better than the normal guys who came up to her in most cases.
About halfway through the process, one evening, he got closer to her, lightly grazing against her skin. Immediately, she stiffened, a bit unsure of what to feel about all of this.
“Sorry, I just wanted to feel the texture of your skin,” he apologized.
She blushed, realizing how close he was to her. But she wasn’t going to reach out just yet, rather she nodded in assent. “That’s fine, do what you need to do in order to get the sculpture correct,” she said to him.
“Thank you. I’m trying not to be weird or something, but I wanted to make sure I got the beauty down even on a skin level. I wanted to make sure that others could see this as well, and I have to admit, you have some of the prettiest skin that I’ve ever seen,” he told her.
She immediately felt shocked, again. She couldn’t believe that he was being so nice to her, and that she was being doted like this. She nodded, still trying to wrap her head around it all.
“Thank you. I appreciate it,” she simply said.
“You’re very welcome. Is there a reason why you don’t think you’re pretty though? Because if you haven’t realized it yet, you are, especially to me. I mean, I can see in your eyes that you’re insecure, so tell me, what is really thematter?” he asked her.
She immediately grew flustered, realizing just what she was getting into. It was ridiculous in a way, but she knew that there was no way to quell the feelings that were present within her.
“The truth is, I feel this way because I’ve been told in the past that I wasn’t pretty. You know what it’s like, right? To be told that you’re never good enough, and it’s hard to accept that,” she explained to him. In truth, she felt like the only way to be considered beautiful was to be like everyone else, with pale skin, a thin frame, and always looking perfect. To her, she never felt like she was the ideal girl because she didn’t fit the mold.
“You do realize that I don’t care about those standards, right? I see beauty in you that you probably never even see in yourself. It’s your skin, your frame, the way you carry yourself, even though the insecurity I can see that you’re still a great woman, and I think that you need to give yourself a bit more credit,” he explained to her.
She nodded, blushing madly. “Thank you. I’ll try, but it might take some time,” she said.
He stopped, embracing her completely. She started to grow a bit confused by it, but she gave into it, feeling happy that at least someone gave a damn about her. “Don’t worry about it, it takes however long it takes,” he said to her.
A part of her wanted to get over these negative feelings immediately, but she knew that it wouldn’t be hard. She felt something however, but she never thought that she could ever feel this way about a person. It was trust.
“You know, I appreciate this,” she said.
“Good. I’m glad,” he said, taking up his tools again.
They continued, and at the end of the session, she gathered her things, preparing to leave. However, what she didn’t realize was what was going to happen next. She moved her body a little bit, a bit clumsy in a sense, but when her butt hit it, immediately the sculpture started to wobble. She whipped around, her eyes wide, and she moved her body in a desperate attempt to save the sculpture. However, it crashed to the ground, shattered into pieces.
“Oh no. I ruined it all!” she said to herself, her face welling up with tears that sprang down her face. She couldn’t believe how she could be so stupid and clumsy. However, she immediately felt even worse. She felt like she had ruined this great opportunity that he created of her, and right now, there was nothing else that she could do but look in horror at the broken sculpture on the floor. Pierre came back into the room after grabbing some tea, and when he saw the sculpture immediately Marissa thought about the worst. Would he get mad? Would she ruin it all? At this point, even she didn’t know because of the lingering feeling of disdain for herself, and the feeling of hatred that coursed over her body with every single passing moment.
**********
“I’m so sorry!” she cried out, tears falling down her face. Marissa started to sob, feeling hurt and hating herself. She wanted this to go right so badly. Over time, her confidence had increased, and she grew to become great friends with Pierre. The two had become close, and she actually felt like she was overcoming her insecurity and hurt, and a part of her wanted to continue this partnership. But now that she ruined it, and all she could do was stand there speechless, at a total loss for words.
She couldn’t believe that she did it, and right now, she knew for a fact that all of the elements from her past were there. The feeling of disapproval, the hatred that others had for her, even the way her mother used to tell her that guys don’t like bigger girls seemed to haunt her with every single moment that passed. But instead of feeling angry, Pierre felt something else. He had another plan.
“It’s okay,” he said gently. He scooped Marissa up in his muscled arms, molded and hardened by years of working with stone, holding her there as he coddled her. She sobbed, holding onto him and crying into his shirt. She couldn’t believe this, but then, he pulled away.
“Don’t worry about it. We can still make another one,” he said.
“But I ruined it! The competition is two weeks away, and we won’t be able to finish in time,” she cried out.
“That’s not true Marissa. Where there is a will, there is always a way, and right now, I’m willing to work longer with you, and do whatever it takes to get this done perfectly. Don’t worry about it, mistakes happen, and I’m sure that we’ll do great no matter what,” he comforted her.
She calmed down, realizing that she did ruin something big, but he wasn’t getting angry with her. She expected him to be furious with her, but instead, he seemed to keep a level head.
“You’re not mad,” she said.
“Of course not. Realize Marissa that accidents happen. You should’ve seen me the first time I botched a sculpture. I was furious, but my teacher told me that it’s only one object, one creation, and that I can do it better the next time. That’s my intention with this. I work better when I’m pressed for time anyway. It’s an accident, just be more careful in the future,” he told her.
She looked at him, surprised he wasn’t even going to throw any sort of quip there. But then, she nodded, realizing that it was true.
“You’re right. I’m sorry,” she said.
“It’s fine. We can do the same thing if you want, or if you have another idea, let me know. If you can stay for a bit, I can get another slab and start to work on this,” he said.
She nodded. “I do have an idea actually. I never thought that I would say this, but I want you to do this, especially with me,” she told him.
“What is it?” he asked her.
She thought about her words, about the possibility of how this might change it all. She then nodded, gulping down the worrisome gasp that was trying its hardest to not get out.
“I want you to do the sculpture of me naked,” she said.
For a moment Pierre looked flustered. He never thought that she would be okay with that sort of thing, but as he looked at her, he realized that this was what she wanted. She wanted him to paint a picture of her using a sculpture of her body, to bear herself out there.
“That’s fine by me, but let me get another slab of stone. You can choose the posing position and I can adjust if you’re okay with that,” he said.
She nodded, feeling a little shy as he went over to get another slab. She started to undress herself, getting out of the dress he bought her, and her undergarments. This was the first time she had been naked in front of a man, and already she was feeling nervous as all hell. He then came over, smiling at her and not acting weird at all.
“You’re even more beautiful in the open, you know that?” he said with a smile.
She blushed, but nodded. “Thank you. I’m glad you appreciate me,” she said. This was the first time she had ever been so secure with herself. She never imagined that it would be this easy, that she could even be naked in front of anyone, let alone another man she didn’t know all that well. He was very professional about it, obviously, and as she continued to stand there in the pose that she was in, she realized that she was baring it all. She was showing off a part of herself that she never dreamed of showing off before.
“You know, I’m surprised that you agreed to that sort of pose,” he said.
She smiled. “It’s because I trust you, and it’s because I’m trying to become at ease with the skin that I’m in,” she told him.
“Great. I’m glad, because I think to really be okay with your own beauty; you have to take the risks to show of. I’m glad that you’re realizing this though. And trust me, I won’t make this awkward for either of us. I respect anyone that shows off their body to me in this fashion, and it’s kept between us and the art piece,” he said.
She agreed with that. She realized that this was probably the most daring thing that she had ever done. She couldn’t believe that this was happening, that she was showing herself off to him. But there was that part of her, the part that was realizing, this was what she wanted. She trusted him, and the feelings that she had for this man started to grow. With every passing minute, she was thinking about how different her life was becoming. She actually felt confidence, something that had been eluding her all her life. Until now.
She wasn’t going to push her luck at the moment, but she was happy with the result, and deep down, she knew that she would be ready for it all, and if they worked hard, they would win the competition. That was what she wanted, to make Pierre happy, and to learn to love herself. She was learning to do that more with every passing day, and she intended continuing to strive for success, and be happy no matter what the odds and the problems that came up.