Authors: Alice White
Chapter Six
“Angelica? Can you come in here, please.”
Miss Parsons never asked; she told. It had been two months since Doctor Mason’s question. He did not push for an answer. It seemed enough that she stayed and never made mention of running again. Now she dressed in simple black dresses and kept her blonde locks tied over her head. Miller smiled when he came around with supplies, and when one of the many men that she had been forced to lay with appeared on account of one injury or another, Miss Parsons held them at bay with the sternest of looks.
And William worked. He threaded needles and bound broken skin. When he could not work his magic, he prayed over the bodies and worked to acquire proper burials. Sometimes she wondered if he was just out to save the world by degrees. That would make her a different type of notch on his singular bed post. But he shared meals with her. Tucked her in each night and returned to her room when the blackness got the better of her soul. Some nights she couldn’t stand the sight of his body upright in the chair and turned the sheets aside. He looked like a little boy as he lay at her side, but his arms were never anything but strong as he held her so she could find sleep.
Maybe she would marry him and see where the day took them.
“Angelica!”
Stunned from her reverie at the sound of Miss Parsons’ voice, she followed the sound into one of the exam rooms and saw a young girl nursing a bruised wrist as she waited for aid.
“This young lady was out riding,” she said. “Maybe she should learn to wear the proper gloves so this sort of thing does not happen again.”
“I’ll thank you to send the doctor my way,” the girl ordered. “And my gloves are custom made.”
“I’d talk to your tailor,” Miss Parsons said. “Obviously something is amiss.”
Angelica shared a smile with the woman that had saved her life. Feeling close to her without expecting the sensation, Angelica took the lead and began to ice the bruise when the girl snorted and released a low laugh.
“So the rumors are true,” she said. “The good doctor has taken on a common whore.”
Dropping the ice as she barely suppressed a gasp, Angelica felt her worst fears confirmed as Miss Parsons swiftly turned around.
“Is that how you speak to someone who’s here to help you,” she challenged. Once again it was not a question, but the girl grew bold and hardly looked hurt as she continued.
“Everyone is talking about it,” she smirked. “From what I hear the men battle in the bars just so they can get a chance to look at her again.”
“That’s enough,” Miss Parsons said even as she failed to raise her voice. Taking hold of the girl by her uninjured arm, she marched he out and told her to try her luck with a stiff drink to dull the pain.
“This is highly unprofessional,” the girl said. “Can Doctor Mason really afford another smear on his reputation?”
“He is beyond reproach,” Miss Parsons said, and Angelica wanted to concur when the girl’s shrill voice cut into her thoughts.
“As long as he doesn’t actually marry her. That would be the final nail.”
Miss Parsons slammed the door shut as soon as the girl was gone and looked back to Angelica with a shrug of her shoulders.
“Do not pay her any mind,” she started. “You’re doing just fine here. And whatever else you used to be simply does not matter.”
“Yes it does,” Angelica stated sadly. “I didn’t want to believe it. But I don’t belong.”
She started back to her bedroom when Miss Parsons blocked her path, her features softening as they betrayed her steely soul.
“Angelica, let it alone,” she said. “The doctor is smitten with you. And people like that have no idea what they’re talking about.”
“Expect when it’s true!” Angelica cried. “I can’t keep lying to myself. Or to him.”
Forget the bedroom. She would go back the way she came and look for Sam. Or someone like him. More men than she cared to imagine would line up for a chance to see what she had learned during her time away from the bars, and she tore her hair loose until it started to spill over her shoulders.
“Angelica, stop!”
She broke into a run and gave no thought of ever looking back. It would be easy. A man had loved her before and flung her into the unknown. At least now it was her choice. Maybe she could take comfort in that and get in on the joke. And then one day, Angelica would see the doctor walking past the doors of some saloon. She would beckon him forward for old time’s sake. And William would leave her to her own devices and pretend that he had never known her name or asked for her hand. Which is how it should have been from the start.
Chapter Seven
“For a quarter?”
She had hardly made it back into town when Warwick was there waiting, reeking of booze and offering her nothing in the way of gold. A whole quarter. At least she’d be able to keep the profits for herself, and she reluctantly took his hand as he dragged her behind a battered barn and laughed at her dress.
“Sam said you had gone the missionary route,” he chuckled. “Care to give that a try with me?” Angelica went numb as the man lowered her to the ground and started to unbuckle his trousers. It wouldn’t hurt; she had done this a million or more times.
Why should this moment be any different?
“Let’s see what you’ve learned,” he teased. “Can’t wait to find out.” He started to pull up her skirts when Angelica’s eyes caught on the clouds hanging overhead. Out in the majesty of the open air, she couldn’t help but feel an unseen force looking down at her.
Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.
Those who want to kill me will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth.
They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals.
But the king will rejoice in God; all who swear by God will glory in him, while the mouths of liars will be silenced.
“Wait,” she muttered. “I changed my mind.”
“You don’t get a say!” Warwick said as he belched into her face. “Gonna pick up right where we left off.”
His fingers were at the corset that still felt like a second strange skin, and when he was on his knees and pulling at his shirt, Angelica kicked him hard and tried to crawl away.
“We’ll just see about that!” she screamed. Warwick caught her wrists and pinned them over her head as he licked her face. She gagged and wished that she could vomit in his eyes when a hard foot kicked the man away.
“Get away from her!.”
William was right there with fists ready to fight as his nostrils flared.
“She came out here looking for it,” he said. “Like a dog going after its own sick. You should thank me for taking you off your hands.” Looking at William, her heart filled with shame. Warwick’s words were hardly untrue, but she shook her head as she held out her hand.
“I did that,” Angelica confessed. “I’m sorry, William.”
“Not another word.” He picked her up off the ground and held her close to his chest as Warwick pocketed the quarter.
“She’s barely worth a penny,” he said. “And she don’t look so good any more. Keep her. Last thing I want is your other skirt chasing after
me
with a shotgun.” There was no sign of Miss Parsons as he scurried away, and Angelica wanted to get back to the house when William cupped her chin in his hands.
“”Why?” he asked. “How?”
“I don’t understand the questions,” she confessed.
“Why would you run?” he asked. “You were safe. And then I hear that one unkind word turned you away from me. How could you leave me?”
“Miss Parsons has a big mouth,” she muttered.
“I thank God for it,” he said. “And that I made my way to you in time.”
“Yes.” She couldn’t form another word or another thought as she wept against his chest. “It didn’t feel right. With you. But I can’t go back to that other life either. William, where do I belong?”
He kissed her hands and held them close to his heart.
“Here,” he said. “Because I love you.” The words slid off his tongue with such ease , and Angelica inched closer to him and lowered her ears to his lips.
“Say that again,” she said. The silence trumped the roar of thunder passing over the clouds, and she cuddled close to him as a few drops of rain started to fall from the sky. Paying them no mind, she let the falling water wash over her hair, and even as rain fell harder, she smiled and finally peered into his eyes.
“I said that I love you, Angelica. Always.”
The men who toiled in the hills just beyond Caldwell never wanted a kiss.But William pleaded with his gaze, and Angelica basked in his sweet taste as his lips melted around hers. His kiss shattered her heart, but it broke open like the rain from the clouds. She felt clean as the flood bubbled under her skin, and his hold grew tighter when she finally broke away.
“Your spectacles,” she said. Easing the dripping lenses away from his face, he sighed as he caressed her hair and kissed the tip of her nose.
“I still see you clearly,” he swore.
“And what am I?” she asked.
“Someone good,” he said. “I don’t care about the past. Let people talk. Just be with me now. And let me fall asleep with the sound of your voice.”
Angelica felt as if she should cry, but no tears came. A warm buzz started to form at the pit of her soul, and it climbed up her throat until her lips, still drenched in his kiss and the rain washing away sins that were never really hers, expanded into a bright smile.
“My answer is
yes
, William,” she said. “Wherever you are. I belong there, too.”
The doctor hummed his delight
as he twirled her around in the rain. The water washed over her, and he stopped short when he felt the dress clinging to her body.
“We should get back,” he said. “Don’t want you catching cold.”
“Not as long as you keep me warm.” William’s arms stayed around her shoulders, and he bowed his head every few steps to kiss her cheek when they were finally back before the house.
“Did you really say yes?” he asked. “I’ve waited so long to hear that.”
“Can I tell you something else?” Angelica asked. He nodded and as the rain grew weaker she nuzzled his neck. “I love you, too.” They kissed again, and as Miss Parsons called for them to get back, Angelica grabbed his hand.
“And if you want to call me
Angel
. I won’t mind it. If it means I’m yours.”
“
My
Angel,” he said. “And my wife.” She liked the sounds of both as the sun peeked through the clouds and they held one another close.
THE END
Chapter One
“Alice! Please, come now. Won’t you just try and stand still? Just
try
?”
“Leave her be, she’s just excited. I’m sure any one of us would be too, if we were in her shoes.”
“Speak for yourself,” Gretta Green muttered through the pins sticking out of her set mouth. “As for me, I’d rather keep my current status than take that horror on.”
“Hush! Why say such things with her right there? Are you trying to hurt her?”
“Of course not,” Gretta huffed, “she’s my dearest friend. Besides, if I wanted to hurt her I would just stick her with one of these pins. That would be sure to do the trick.”
Gretta’s last little quip caused all five girls in the large mahogany-laden room to laugh, albeit uncomfortably. Gretta did not bother looking at her friends, just stuck to the task of taking up the much too long dress she had been working on for what she was sure was far too long. Then again, she would have felt like any length of time spent working on the dress for a wedding she did not think should be happening would be too much. Talia, Gretta’s cousin, gave her a look that could have killed a more easily shaken woman and then smiled sweetly at Alice. Alice herself smiled as well, trying very hard not to let her friend’s comments cut her to the quick. She wasn’t surprised by them, after all. She appreciated Talia’s valiant efforts to be kind and happy for her, but she was also well aware of the fact that none of her friends approved of her impending nuptials. They handled their disappointment in different ways, each matching their very different personalities, but disappointment was something they all held in common. She wanted to make them see that there was nothing for them to worry about but she had no idea how to do a thing like that. If it were only Talia then maybe, but there was nothing she could possibly say to convince Gretta that Travis Baumgartner, her fiancé, was anything but bad news. Alice knew that. She
knew
that Gretta’s use of her not small seamstress’ skills in no way represented a tacit admission that her feelings about Travis had been misguided. Even so, Alice couldn’t help trying. Standing on her little platform in order to keep her from stepping on her dress, looking once at the antique full length mirror that stood like a silent guardian behind Gretta bent over her work, Alice smiled down at her friend.
“Gretta, can’t you give me a smile?”
“I am smiling. Can’t you tell?”
“Please, Gretta, a real smile. It’s not what you think it is, really it’s not.”
“I don’t think it’s anything. Did I say anything?”
“No, you most certainly did not, and that is part of the problem.”
Gretta sighed and took the pins out of her mouth, setting them beside Alice’s feet. She sat back on her heels and looked up at Alice with an expression in her eyes that told her that now was when her friend’s true feelings were going to come out about the whole situation. Talia took a nervous step forward but Alice held out an ever so slightly trembling hand, wanting her to stay still. Part of her longed for Talia’s peaceful intervention, that much was true. That was the part of her that longed to continue living in the comfortable world where all of them agreed to get along and none of them spoke much about the more unpleasant parts of their lives. There was another part of her, though, and she was slightly surprised to find that that the second part of her was stronger, louder, wanted something much different.
This pervasive mistrust and dislike had hung over her wedding preparations like a black cloud from almost the moment of her accepting Travis’s proposal. Alice’s cheeks still burned with the memory of it. She could remember how excited she had been to tell her dear friends her news the morning after her acceptance. She could remember the anticipation of it, waiting for what felt like forever for them to come calling so she could sit them down and spill everything. She could also remember the looks on their faces, how different they were than what she had been hoping for. Talia had looked completely stricken in those first moments before the response expected of her registered and she smiled an overly wide, overly bright grin. Gretta’s face had been absolutely horrified and there had been no attempt made to hide her feelings whatsoever.
“Oh, Gretta, what’s that face about?”
“Nothing!” Talia intervened, hurrying to sit beside Alice on the lovely little settee she had always favored and taking her hand to examine her stunning new piece of jewelry. “Nothing, don’t mind her. Let me see the ring. Oh my, it really is beautiful, isn’t it? You must be so happy.”
“Yes, yes, thank you. It is beautiful, isn’t it? And it’s true, I’m happy. But Gretta, why do you look so terribly unhappy?”
“Because,” she said quietly and without breaking eye contact for even a moment, “I am unhappy. I don’t think you should do it.”
“Getta!” Talia said breathlessly, little blotches of color starting to show in her cheeks, “You shouldn’t say that kind of thing. It isn’t nice.”
“Well I’m not trying to be nice, I’m trying to be a good friend. Unfortunately those two things don’t always play well together.”
“But Gretta--”
“No,” Alice said quietly, “it’s alright, Talia. She’s allowed to speak her piece. In fact she must. If we’re to remain friends, we can’t have secrets between us. It will poison the friendship and I simply can’t have that.”
Alice spoke to Talia but her words were really meant for Gretta. It was Gretta she looked at, Gretta whose eye contact she refused to break. She knew from the moment of truth that had crossed Talia’s face that her opinion of Travis was very much the same as Gretta’s, but she also knew that Talia’s constitution was such that she would want to be agreeable more than she would want to share that opinion. But Gretta? Gretta was an entirely different story. She was headstrong and when she believed something to be right she would not let it go. She was like a Pitbull whose jaw was locked tight and would not be moved. No, neither anger, threats, sorrow nor cajoling would convince Gretta to let this thing lie. Alice knew it and so she knew that there was nothing to be done but have it all out in the open.
“What is it about him that gives you pause? Why is it that you don’t think I should marry him?”
“Alice, you’re such a beautiful girl! You could marry anyone, anyone you wanted.”
“But what if what I want is him?”
For a moment it looked like Gretta might actually keep her mouth shut after that question, which only succeeded in giving Alice a chilled, almost frightened feeling. Gretta never kept quiet. If she was unsure whether or not she wanted to speak, the thing she had to say must have been unpleasant indeed.
“I don’t think he loves you. I think he finds you charming in the way one might find any beautiful trinket charming and I think he wants your money. Don’t marry him, Alice. Don’t settle for so little when you could have so much more.”
Alice felt stung, as if Gretta had reached out and slapped her across the face as hard as she was able. Her words cut, drilled into Alice’s insides and got to the fears she kept locked inside for fear that speaking them out loud might make them real. What Gretta had said was true. Alice was exceedingly humble about her attributes, but those attributes were many. She was talented and smart and she was also heartbreakingly beautiful. She had skin the color of fresh cream with a healthy pink just below the surface that made her appear to glow when in just the right light. She had thick, loose curls the same color as the richest mahogany and rich honey hued eyes full of laughter and curiosity. Her lack of consideration for herself and her charms made her utterly irresistible to almost every person she met and she had many friends who loved her deeply. She also had a family that was extraordinarily wealthy, and that aspect of her life was a bit of a double edged sword. On the one hand it provided her with comforts that many people could only dream of but on the other hand, it made her a target for tricky, devious people, both men and women alike. Gretta had been her friend since they had been small children and she had early on taken the role of protector. She was not nearly so beautiful as Alice was and did not come from as much money, but she was practical and level-headed and fiercely loyal. Alice knew that Gretta had always suspected that some man would try and take advantage of her some day and that it was her duty to see that such an awful thing didn’t happen. But the
truly
awful thing, the thing that Alice tried very hard not to think about, was that she worried that Gretta was right. She was never entirely sure of people’s motives with her but she couldn’t stand the idea of being suspicious and cautious all of the time. For her, the only way to reconcile those two things was not to allow that looming fear to color her life at all. She had made that decision and once she had done it, she had not looked back and so when Travis had come into her life she had allowed herself to be open to his flattery and charm. He had been easy to become enamored with and she believed that he felt the same way about her. Yes, she was aware of the fact that Travis had no family to speak of. In fact his background remained very much a mystery even after their (admittedly brief) courtship. He didn’t like to talk about himself, not ever. He had alluded to having had a sort of a tragic upbringing and Alice, not wanting to cause him any further pain, had not pressed matters further. When he said that he loved her and wanted to spend his life with her, she believed him. It did not matter what his past was, only what he saw for his future. But to Gretta his tight lipped nature was a glaring indicator of his being some sort of a rogue, a crook, and she objected strenuously to her friend even speaking to him, let alone marrying him. There had been absolutely no way of persuading her otherwise, regardless of what Alice said. The two of them had let the topic lapse into a kind of an uneasy silence and rarely spoke of it after that first terrible truth telling.
“Alice? Alice dear, are you alright?”
The sound of Talia’s soft, worried voice was enough to bring Alice back to her present situation. She smiled at Talia and Gretta both, not wanting either to worry any more than they already would. She looked over Gretta’s head again and her smile widened. This smile was for her and her alone. Gretta’s fingers truly were magic! She had done an amazing job tailoring Alice’s dress, just as Alice had assured her mother that she would. No employed seamstress could have done a better job. Looking at herself now, she believed that things were going to be ok. Gretta would come around once she saw that Alice and Travis were blissfully happy together. This was not a time to be melancholy. This was a time for jubilance, for celebration! She was getting married in two days and her life would never be the same. That was the sort of thing a girl should be happy about. She looked at herself for one moment longer and then turned to Talia with radiant eyes.
“Yes, I am. I’m more than alright. I’m about to get married.”