Rome: A Marked Men Novel (36 page)

never got the chance because I heard the roar of Harley pipes at the same time all my
oh, shit
instincts fired

up. I saw her head whip around, felt time slow down the way it did when danger and doom were breaking

on the horizon, so I did what I had been trained to do. I knew what gunshots sounded like. Knew not to

panic, but never had I been so scared. I had been shot at plenty of times. I had never had to worry about

someone I loved getting shot, though. It made me move faster than I ever had in my life.

I sprinted across the asphalt like it was made of lava. I got to her right before the first bullet made

contact. My head jerked back and blood started immediately rushing down the column of my neck and

soaking into the collar of my T-shirt. I saw her wild eyes go huge in her face but didn’t have time to say

anything to her. I was lucky she made such a tiny target because the next gunshot didn’t miss either, nor did

the next as I took her to the ground under me. I’d been hit with bullets before, but had always had body

armor to dull the impact. Bullets tearing through unprotected flesh felt like Satan flicking his tail across bare

skin. My flesh burned and the calm night air instantly filled with the coppery scent of my blood. Man, there

was a lot of it. I could see it flowing out of me and onto her and the pavement below her. How could have I

forgotten there was a pissed-off biker all set to get vengeance on me? Cora shouldn’t have been in that

parking lot alone.

I had her whole body under me. Could feel her shaking and whispering my name against my throat. I

hoped I hadn’t hit the ground with her too hard, but I couldn’t move to check on her. In fact I knew I

needed to get off of her so I wasn’t crushing her into the hard ground, but none of my limbs were obeying

my commands. In fact her lovely and beloved face was blurring in and out as breath wheezed in and out of

lungs that felt like they were suddenly full of cement. I was suffocating. I was bleeding. I was hurting all

over, but she was looking up at me in shock and fear but alive. So full of life and color, and that was all

that mattered.

“Cora …” I wanted to tell her I was sorry. That I would never be done with her, not ever, but there

wasn’t a way to do that. I was going under. I could feel blood pooling under us. Could feel fire blazing in

more than one place from my prone body. I think Cora screamed my name over and over again. I think I

heard Asa tell her he was calling for help. I was pretty sure my little pixie had a death grip on me where I

covered her, but I couldn’t feel anything. I was also fairly certain my girl was about to watch me die, and

the last thing I heard before it all just went absolutely black was her tell me that she loved me over and over

again.

“Always have to be the hero, don’t you?”

His tone was kidding, but it had been so long since I had seen him that all I could do was gape at him

in shock.

“Rem?”

“Who else? Got yourself in a bit of a pickle, didn’t ya?”

I tried to shake my head, tried to reach out and put my hands on him, but all I could do was just stare

at him while he paced back and forth in front of me, hands shoved into the pockets of impeccably pressed,

pin-striped pants. He looked good, way better than a guy who had been dead going on five years should.

“You look good, bro.”

He smiled at me. A smile so different from Rule’s, and I felt my heart flip over. I missed him so much.

“I always looked good, Rome. We need to have a serious heart-to-heart, big brother.”

“About what?”

“You.”

“What about me, Remy?”

“You seriously have any doubts over whether I knew, absolutely, without any kind of shadow of a

doubt that you loved me, Rome? That you were proud of me?”

I felt something happen in my chest, like lightning burning where my heart should be.

“I should have told you. I shouldn’t have asked you to keep an eye on them. That was selfish.”

“Oh, Rome.” It sounded like a sigh, but I wasn’t sure what was going on or where I was at, so maybe

it was just the last of my breath escaping my no longer working lungs. “I was always so proud when you

asked me to keep an eye on Rule or on Shaw. It meant you trusted me, you believed that I could do as

good a job as you always did keeping everyone safe. Those words meant more to me than you can know.”

I took a minute to let that process and heard him laugh. It sounded happy and there was no regret in

it.

“The girl, the one you just took three bullets for, she’s the one for you.” It wasn’t a question, so I

didn’t feel obligated to answer him. “You don’t think she loves you? You don’t think her heart is breaking

right now? Because I can assure you that it is and it has nothing to do with being afraid of having to raise

that baby alone. She’s scared for you. Her heart is shattering for you.”

I tried to scowl but I didn’t have any control of my facial muscles.

“She’s never said anything to me.”

“But don’t you just know, Rome? Just like I knew you loved me without question. Love doesn’t always

have to be spoken out loud. Shaw loved Rule from the beginning of time and never said one word about it,

but if he had ever bothered to look at her, he would have seen it shining out of her like a beacon. The

same thing can be said about your little spitfire. It’s stamped all over her, Rome, you just have to look

past the fear, hers and your own, to see it.”

That point was burning and hot in the center of where I thought my chest was. I knew all about fear.

The fear of the unknown, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of not having anything to offer. I

hoped I hid it well, but I hadn’t taken one second to think that maybe Cora was hiding behind a cloud of

terror as well. Our experience made us; what we did with that knowledge is what defined who we were

going to be, and somewhere along the line I got caught up in all the noise of “what if” and forgot that.

“I should have just known.”

“You have time to make it right.”

“I do?”

He laughed again and I felt warmth embrace me, something like rightness settle around my shoulders.

“Someone had to set you right. I knew I could do it. Love is never perfect, big brother. It’s what you

make of the imperfections in it that makes the ride worthwhile.”

“I met Lando.”

That sound that could have been a sigh or something else whirled around me.

“He is how I know all about unconditional love, Rome. He deserved better than my secrets. Frankly

everyone did. Who we are is always shifting, turning, and changing. Soon you’ll be a father, a husband,

then an uncle, and then later on down the line, you’ll be a grandfather. Who you are never stays the

same. It’s called living life.”

I felt like if I could control any part of my body, I would wrap my arms around my brother and never

let him go, but as it was, things inside me were starting to burn and those pale, winter-tinted eyes were

getting hazier and farther and farther away and I was flared up on the inside like an inferno.

“Oh, and Rome.” I tried to focus on him but it was getting harder and harder to hold on to where I

was at. Pain was starting to pull me apart at the seams and I wanted to scream. “Remy is an awesome

name for either a little boy or a little girl. Just saying.”

I felt rather than saw him disappear, the warmth, the joy that was my brother, poofed away and I went

crashing back to a body that was on fire with pain and flooding with blood in places there shouldn’t be

blood.

CHAPTER 17

Cora

I didn’t remember much of anything after I hit the ground, all of Rome’s weight and bulk pressing me

into the hard asphalt. One second I had been sitting in the car trying to figure out how to talk my way out of

this mess and try to fix everything, and the next I was wide-awake in the middle of one of Rome’s

nightmares.

I had sent the text letting him know I was outside the bar, and then I waited while I held my breath for

him to answer me back. My big mouth had hurt the one person I never wanted to cause pain, and I needed

to fix it. It didn’t matter if he ignored me. I would march right in that bar and make him talk to me. As it

turned out, I was getting all worked up for no reason because it only took a minute until his unmistakable

silhouette came out the door and he was making his way toward where I had parked. I was nervous, but

more than that, I was filled with regret. I never should have held on to what Jimmy had done to me and

used it as an excuse to keep my heart insulated from all the wonderful things Rome was trying to fill it up

with.

I only made it past the hood of the Cooper when there was a sudden roar that sounded like it was right

behind me. I went to turn my head to see what it was because it was so loud, but before I got my neck

cranked all the way around, I was bulldozed to the ground and deafened by the repeated
pop-pop
that

sounded like extra-loud fireworks. I hit the ground with a grunt and clung to Rome, because those blue

eyes were huge in his face and a typhoon of panic and fear was working its way across the shimmering

surface.

“Rome?” I said his name because he wasn’t moving and something warm and wet was seeping into his

T-shirt where I was gripping it in my hands.

His mouth moved. He said my name on a gasp but no sound came out. Something coppery-smelling

and hot landed on my cheek as it leaked out of his neck and splatted on my face. His eyes flickered like a

flame going out, and the next thing I knew I was trapped completely under him as all his strength fled. His

blood was covering both of us and starting to pool on the ground beneath us. I couldn’t get to my phone,

couldn’t move, because even when he was unconscious, even when he was furious at me and hurt by my

selfish and thoughtless words, he was still trying to keep me and our baby safe.

“Rome!” This time I screamed it and clutched at him. “You have to open your eyes. Come on, big guy.”

I was screaming his name over and over but he wouldn’t move, wouldn’t react. I’m sure we were only

there for a minute, but it felt like an eternity until Asa’s blond head appeared over Rome’s prone form and

he told me he had called the police and an ambulance was on the way. It took three of the regulars to move

him off of me, in part because I refused to let him go. I was crying and had so much of his blood on my

hands it made it hard for me to hold on to him as the regulars from the bar worked to separate us and put

pressure on the gaping wounds that were spilling his life out onto the ground.

I think Asa put an arm around my quaking shoulders and tried to tell me everything would be all right,

but I knew that was a lie. Through the tears and Rome’s blood smeared all across my face, I could see that

his eyes were still closed and that his massive chest wasn’t moving up and down. He was going to die right

in front of my eyes, and I was never going to get the chance to tell him that I loved him. I absolutely

couldn’t let that happen.

I broke free of Asa’s grasp and ran to where people were trying desperately to stop him from bleeding.

The entire side of his neck looked like raw hamburger, flayed open and gushing vital red onto the ground. I

fell on my knees, not caring that the asphalt ripped my skin open, and put my hands on his cheeks.

“Rome, please open your eyes, please. I love you so much. I need you. Please, big guy.” I was sobbing

and I doubted the words made any sense. Somewhere in the distance I finally heard the sounds of sirens

screaming toward us. The ambulance was too far away to do him any good.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” I just told him over and over again, trying to will him to breathe.

Because it was true. Being scared of handing over my heart to him because I wasn’t sure what he would do

with it had nothing on the choking fear that I would never get to tell him how I felt because he wasn’t going

to make it. He had always been a hero, and right now I almost hated him as much as I loved him. If he

hadn’t been so perfect, so honorable, so devoted to me and his child, he wouldn’t be lying in a puddle of

blood. It was just wrong on so many different levels.

“Please don’t break my heart, Rome. I can’t do this without you.” Somewhere along the line, police and

the ambulance crew arrived, and again I had hands trying to pull me away from him. I bent down and put

my mouth to his. I cried even harder when I felt how cold his lips were.

I kissed him, tasting the salt of my tears and the iron burn of his blood, and whispered that I loved him