Ropes and Dreams (9 page)

He took the box with him into his bedroom. Fortunately, he knew his bosses would leave him alone as Drake often rested after preparing lunch. Drake sat on the bed. His room had given him comfort at first, but more and more, it felt like a temporary place since there was nothing of him in it. He could fix that later, if he wanted.

For now, he was going to scoot up on the bed after he kicked off his shoes. Then he would open the box up.

Drake looked again at the business name—FAO Schwarz. He couldn’t place it. Drake gently shook the box again, listening to the soft thud-thud coming from inside it. Finally he couldn’t stand it any longer and he took out a pen from the nightstand to slice through the packing tape sealing the box shut.

When he opened the flaps, he gasped, his heart thumping madly as tears stung his eyes. He pushed past the plastic bubble wrap and lifted the beautiful teddy bear from the box.

“Oh. Oh, dang,” Drake scraped out as he caressed the soft, light brown fur. The teddy bear was big, almost two feet tall, with a brown bow tied around his neck. A card was stuck to the ribbon, and Drake’s hand shook as he opened the card.

To give you hugs when you need them.

Ian

“Oh, not fair,” Drake said, but he was suddenly happier than he had been in a long time. He wiped the tears from his cheeks then pressed his face against the warm brown material. “I’m so screwed.”

No one had ever done anything so sweet before, at least none of the guys who’d wanted him. Maybe the bear was a small thing, but it meant more to Drake than anything else could have, especially when combined with the sentiment Ian had included. Ian hadn’t added on ‘until I can’, or anything possessive of the sort. He’d just given Drake a gift of comfort.

Drake was going to tumble head over heels in the blink of an eye if he wasn’t careful. He held the bear to his chest and petted it, not caring if it was a weird thing to do. Ian had given him something just because he wanted Drake to have it. The teddy bear might have been a children’s toy, but Drake didn’t care. Touching it made him feel better. He’d never had one. His mother and grandma hadn’t had a lot of money for toys, but the ones they had given him had been typical boy toys—cars and trucks, soldiers and such. His father had never given him anything, not even the acknowledgement of his parentage.

“I’ll call you Fuzzy,” Drake said to the bear. “I have a hang-up on five-letter names, don’t I? Have to have the ‘u’ and ‘y’ in them, too.” But he vaguely remembered some nursery rhyme about a fuzzy bear. Drake hugged the thing and felt better for it. “Maybe if I’d had you when I was a kid, I wouldn’t be a mess now.” He snorted and sat up. He was just being silly now.

Did he thank Ian for the bear?
Of course I do, duh. It’s a gift, a sweet, thoughtful, perfect gift…

Drake bit his bottom lip. It’d been three days since he’d let Ian lay him back on the table and blow his mind. Drake didn’t want to rush into anything, but each day that had passed, he’d yearned to talk to Ian, to see if they were compatible. Drake had begun reading up on BDSM, and the things that got him hard both scared and titillated him. He needed to talk to Ian, to discuss…boundaries, limits, possibilities, if they were going to give each other a shot.

That he’d stopped living his life as if he’d been handed a death sentence was glaringly obvious, even to Drake. He knew that, whatever the test results were from now on, he wanted to live, to experience each day to its fullest and stop hiding from the world.

And he wanted to love, to be loved, not owned. There was a difference in the way a Dom owned his sub and the way assholes like Rigo owned them. Rigo was all about destroying Drake so he was dependent and weak, whereas a good Dom would build him up and show him his strength.

Drake wanted that. He wanted to see if he liked the things that he saw online, that he masturbated to every night. They could be safe—he wouldn’t put anyone else at risk. Ian knew they had to be safe, too. He’d been willing to touch Drake, was trying to… Drake looked at the bear and grinned. It was like Ian was trying to woo him. To that end, Drake should probably not do more than thank Ian just yet. If he caved in after the teddy bear, Ian might think he was easily swayed.

The truth was, Drake was scared of the power of his desire for Ian and the things he might be able to do for Drake. But he wanted Ian, wanted to trust him, to know him.

Do I dive in head first, eyes closed, or do I wait?
Drake wished he knew the answer.

* * * *

Ian answered the call as soon as he saw the ID. “Hey,” he said quietly as he got up from his desk so he could walk outside, away from eager eavesdroppers. Cops were the worst gossips sometimes.

“Um, hi, Ian, this is Drake.”

Lord, but Drake sounded nervous, and maybe even happy. Ian strode past the other two cops on duty and went out of the front door. “How are you, Drake?” The week since he’d heard from Drake had been hell. Ian deserved a prize for his restraint in not showing up at the ranch to see Drake.

“I’m… I’m good,” Drake said, surprise evident in his voice. “Every time I realise that, I feel like it’s a new discovery, but I really am. I think maybe I’m getting my head on straight.”

Ian’s stomach plummeted at that. “If you need more time, then take it. I don’t want to rush you.”

“I know you don’t, and that makes it so much easier for me to call you.” Drake cleared his throat as Ian tried to figure out if he was getting good news, bad news or what. “I wanted to thank you for the teddy bear. That was—it’s the nicest thing anyone’s done for me in a long time. Ever, coming from a guy who’s interested in me.” Another round of throat-clearing from Drake before he asked, “Are you? Still interested in me?”

“Yes,” Ian barked out, not meaning to sound harsh, but his eagerness never seemed to be expressed in the normal way. He knew he was a harsh man on the outside. “Yes, I’d like the chance to show you how special you are, and what I think we can have together.”

“Oh, oh, that’s great. I mean, I was worried, but you sent the bear, thank you. I love that bear. I named him Fuzzy, and there’s another box here. I haven’t opened it. Is it from you, too?” Before Ian could answer, Drake went on. “No one’s ever bothered trying to woo me before. They all just took and took—no one gave.”

Woo?
Ian hadn’t known the word was still used, but it was appropriate. He wanted to woo Drake, to win his heart, not just his body. “You’re welcome, and you deserve to be treated right. I haven’t ever…pursued anyone like I’ve done with you. Please keep that in mind when you open the gift you’ve got there.”

“It is from you.” Drake’s relief had Ian wondering who else he’d thought the box might be from. Drake filled him in. “It’s just been so amazing, getting two boxes in a few days. I was afraid to just assume, because even though I don’t think he has this address, or that he’d spend any money, part of me was still worried Rigo was going to ruin this by sending me something hateful.”

“Where’s the box from?” Ian asked even as he struggled to keep the anger out of his voice. He hated that Rigo was intruding on this courtship, even as a phantom fear.

“Uh, it’s from some place called Ventrison.”

“It’s from me.” Ian felt a surge of panic. This gift wasn’t a cuddly teddy bear. “If you don’t like it, you can send it back and—”

“I’m sure I’ll love it,” Drake panted as sounds of the box being ripped open reached Ian through the phone. “Oh, gosh, it’s so soft! You send me the softest things.”

Ian sighed in relief. It didn’t seem as if Drake hated the cashmere blanket. “I wanted you to have something that felt good around you, to”—
hold you
—“snuggle into.”

There was a moment of silence, then Drake spoke again. “I think, as much as I love touching this blanket, I’d rather try snuggling with you.”

And just like that, Ian’s cock was hard, his belly tight with need. “Can I see you tonight?”

“Yeah, please. Can you come here? I’ll feed you, but we’ll eat alone because I am sure Carlos, Troy and Will would tease us both about, uh, last time.”

Ian could handle being teased, but the idea of having time alone with Drake was too good to pass up. “Tell me what time, and I’ll be there. I get off shift at six today. It wouldn’t hurt me to go home and shower, put on some jeans instead of my uniform.”

“Hm, I don’t know, there’s something about those handcuffs that you have on your belt—”

“I’ll bring them,” Ian rasped, his cool façade slipping as the meaning of Drake’s offer became clear. At least, Ian hoped he wasn’t misinterpreting things. “Does this mean you’re willing to try some things out?”

“I have lots of things I’d like to discuss with you. I’m not sure if I really want to try them, or if they’re better left in fantasies, but I’ve been watching some of the videos at LeatherDaddyDoms.com, and I don’t think I’ve ever beat off so much, Ian.”

Ian gulped down a moan as he closed his eyes. That particular website was run by true BDSM enthusiasts. There were some lighter videos on there—spanking and orgasm denial, boot-licking—but for the most part, harder core videos were the norm.

“We’ll talk tonight. Maybe you can show me some of your favourites.” Ian would be hard-pressed to keep from jerking off and marking Drake’s skin with his cum while they watched them.

“I—” Drake hissed in a breath then blew it out noisily. “I’m not usually so forward, and this is easier to talk about over the phone, but I think I’d like that, if I don’t keel over from embarrassment.”

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Ian urged him. “There’s nothing wrong with sharing what turns you on with me. I’ll show you some of my favourites there, too.”

“Okay. Um, can you be here by seven thirty? That way I can have the dinner dishes taken care of, and we can have the kitchen to ourselves before going to my room.”

“It’s a date,” Ian assured him. “I’m really looking forward to seeing you again, Drake, even if we don’t do anything more than talk over dinner. I just want to spend time with you.” Sappy, and he felt like a dumbass for admitting it, but it was the truth. He wanted to look at Drake, to talk with him, and yes, if Drake was willing, do so much more than that.

They ended the phone call shortly thereafter, and it took Ian a good fifteen minutes to walk off his erection so that he could go back inside. He thought he was given a suspicious look or two, but Ian didn’t slow down or offer an explanation for his phone call. He’d never had a personal call before while he was working, except when Drake had left him that voicemail inviting him to dinner the first time. His co-workers hadn’t known about that, but they would surely try to nose their way into his business if he let them.

Ian settled his coldest look in place and started in on the pile of paperwork on his desk. If he snarled, maybe everyone would scatter. That, or he’d be sent for a psych eval. Ian would rather not deal with one of those. He kept his head down and tried to look like he was totally into what he was doing. He was doing well until his partner Frank Sweeny stopped at his desk and poked him on the shoulder.

“What’s this I hear about some sweet young thang calling you at work?”

Ian barely kept from scowling at that. “I had a phone call. It happens.” If he protested too much, he’d just be in for more ribbing from Frank.

“Gonna tell me who this girl is?” Frank asked, poking him again.

Ian wasn’t ashamed of being gay, but he did have enough sense to be cautious. Cops were chest-thumpers, for the most part, taking masculinity to an obnoxious level at times. If he and Drake worked out as a couple, he wouldn’t hide it. Drake deserved better than that, and so did he.

Ian stood up and stretched until his back popped. “It’s lunchtime, isn’t it?”

Frank narrowed his eyes at Ian. “Trying to distract me, son?”

Ian hated being called that, but he kept his prickly response to himself. “I’m going to the diner. You’re welcome to join me. Today Shelly is supposed to have some of that cherry pie made.”

“Consider me distracted, if you’re buying,” Frank said.

Ian silently congratulated himself on avoiding a grilling for now as he nodded. “I am.”

“You know this is only a delay.” Frank pointed at him. “I’ll give you a break until tomorrow, then—”

“I’ll buy you lunch again,” Ian interrupted. “Come on, let’s go before we get a call and miss a good meal.”

“There won’t be cherry pie to bribe me with tomorrow,” Frank pointed out smugly.

“No, tomorrow’s coconut cream.”

Frank moaned.

Ian grinned. He’d keep Frank in pies until the man left him alone.

Chapter Seven

Drake pushed his hair back off his forehead. It flopped right back down when he let it go. “What the heck! Any other time it stays out of the way…”

“I can do your hair for you,” Will offered. Drake looked in the mirror and saw Will standing in the bathroom doorway. “You left it open.”

He probably had. He was nervous as all get-out. “I just want to look good, not like a damn goofball.”

“You cussed.” Will grinned as he walked in. “Good boy. I hadn’t heard you use a bad word in a while.”

Drake shrugged and went back to trying to get his hair to stay back. “I don’t like to. I did it a lot right after I left Rigo, because he hated it when I cursed. Rebellion, ya know.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Will nudged his side then pushed at his shoulder until Drake stepped back enough for Will to wiggle in front of him. “Did you use any product?”

“Of course. There was just a little left, though—”

Will huffed and there went his eyes, rolling back like Drake was a dummy. “Using the last of the hair gel is like drinking that last bit of soda or beer.”

“It’s all spit?” Drake asked doubtfully. “What
have
you been doing with my hair gel?”

Will popped him on the arm. “Quit being a smartass or I’ll leave you floppy-haired. All I meant was, the last bit’s never so good. All the shit settles and you don’t have the same mix you had when you started. And hair gel? Honey, please.”