Rose (42 page)

There was a glimmer of a smile in Rosa’s eyes. “I, too.”

“I think that Kase is very confused, Rosa. He does not know if he will walk again.” Analisa tried to push aside the fear she held that, indeed, her son might never recover. “It could be because of this that he does not wish to hold you to the promise to be wed.”

“But I love him still. I do not care if he can walk or no. I do not care even if he has a head or no. I love him. I will take care for him.”

Analisa offered the only plan she could devise this quickly. “Maybe it is best that you give him time alone. Do you think so? Maybe he will be so lonely for you that he will change his mind. He will miss you and soon regret his words.”

“But he says he will go with you to Boston,
signora.
And I think Boston is very far away.” A tear trickled down her cheek and Rosa wiped it away.

Analisa took a deep breath and wished Caleb would join her. She could have used some help in handling this new and confounding situation. Why was it she never felt any older? Certainly she did not feel old enough to have a son full grown, let alone a son who had left the care of his dejected fiancée up to her. Yes, Caleb’s presence would be most welcome, but she knew he was in the parlor enjoying the roaring fire and a new book.

Analisa drummed her fingers on the dining table and made an abrupt decision. “We will not leave for three weeks. It is nearly Christmas, and Quentin has invited us to stay. Yes”— she nodded, more and more certain as her ideas began to take shape—“we will stay. You will go to town and wait. Kase will soon come to miss you and send for you once he realizes that he cannot live without you.” She smiled brightly. “Then you will see. We will have a wedding after all, and you will be one of the family.”

There, Analisa thought. It all sounded so final, so sure. Things would work out. Hadn’t her own life been like one of the fairy tales she had told Kase as a child? Life was good. Kase would be well. He and Rosa would marry. She had decided, and so it would be.

Still, as she watched the small golden-eyed girl don her heavy winter coat and cover her luxuriant dark hair with a black wool scarf, Analisa felt a deep sense of foreboding that she might be wrong.

The wind blew fiercely against the window of Kase’s room, but he noticed neither the sound nor the chill that seeped in through the minuscule cracks around the sill. Lately he had taken to sitting in the straight-backed chair near the window and staring out at the mountains for long hours at a time. The silent snow-covered giants—massive upheavals from the belly of the earth—were somehow soothing. He had made a habit of marking time by watching the sunlight shift and play across the face of the mountains until evening, when it slipped behind them.

For the past two weeks the sun had continued to rise and set just as it always had, but nothing had been the same since Rose slammed out of his room. He should have been happy. His wish had been granted; she had given him up without a fight. But the cold finality of her departure from his life was not an easy reality to face in the cold light of each new dawn. Not a morning passed that he did not wonder where she was or what she was doing, and in a secret corner of his heart Kase found himself wishing she would come to see him again.

Just once more, he told himself. If I could see her just once more. But then he would realize the futility of his wish. He refused to condemn her to life with a cripple. Every day he tried to move his legs, tried to pull himself to the edge of the bed in the hope that he might be able to inch his legs toward the side and somehow stand, but his lifeless limbs kept him immobile. There was no way he could protect her if he had to, no way he could do anything but be a burden on her. Rose deserved a better bargain. It was far better this way.

Still, he wondered if she thought of him every waking moment and in her dreams, as he thought of her.

Kase pulled out his watch and checked the time. It was nearly two o’clock. He pocketed the timepiece and straightened his cuffs. Dressing had been his latest accomplishment. His mother had insisted on helping him dress, and even he had to admit that he felt better dressed and seated in a chair than he had lying in bed in a nightshirt. Just as he had long ago given up lying in bed all day, he had given up feeling sorry for himself; now he felt nothing.

The door opened and he glanced up to find Caleb standing on the threshold smiling at him.

“I brought up the paper.”

“Come in,” Kase invited as he turned his attention away from the window. “I was just beginning to wonder when you’d be in.” His stepfather had taken to spending the afternoon in his room, content to talk, or to read silently if Kase was not in the mood for conversation. Kase was grateful for the company and thankful that Caleb could sense his varying moods.

“Anything worth reading?” Kase asked. He watched Caleb’s expression sober.

“Not really. I was hoping to find news of the impending legislation that would change the terms of the Dawes Act.” Although no longer an active agent for the Bureau of Indian Affairs, Caleb kept up on legislation that concerned the Indians.

“The one that spells out general allotment of reservation lands?”

“Exactly. There’s a move in Congress to allot to the Sioux whatever reservation land is left
after
they negotiate cession of any surplus lands.”

Kase knew what such cuts would mean. “And naturally the Sioux would lose more of their allotted reservation land.” His expression darkened as he remembered the living conditions of the people at Pine Ridge. “Conditions are already deplorable there. Hasn’t the government taken enough?”

“If you don’t mind my asking, son, when did you get to be such an authority on affairs at the reservation?” Caleb drew up a chair and straddled it.

Kase took a deep breath before he answered. He had waited for an opportunity to tell Caleb what he had experienced at Pine Ridge, but until now the time had not presented itself.

“I went up to Pine Ridge about two months ago.” Kase waited for a comment from Caleb, but when none came, he continued. “There was a lot I had to come to terms with, and at first I didn’t know how to go about it. I went up to the reservation searching for the man who fathered me. I found out he’s dead. Has been for years. But I met someone who helped.”

“Care to tell me about it?”

“There’s not much to tell, not much I could put into words anyway. I went to see a shaman, Running Elk.”

Caleb nodded. “He is supposedly a very powerful man.”

“Running Elk helped me see inside myself, if you can understand that. I’m not even sure that I do. He sent me on a vision quest, though I’m not certain if what I had was a vision or a hallucination. It helped settled my concern about any traits I might have inherited from the man named Red Dog.”

Caleb was visibly relieved. “I’m glad to hear it. I guess I have myself to blame for letting your training go by the way-side. I should have taught you myself, sent you on your quest when you were younger.”

“That wouldn’t have been very practical in Boston.”

“I don’t think it matters where you go to find yourself.”

“Do you think there’s a way to see into the future as well as the past?” Kase asked.

“There’s no harm in trying to see what lies ahead. I’m not sure how to tell you to go about it, though.” Caleb suddenly smiled. “I’m sure Aunt Ruth would be happy to read her astrological charts for you.”

They both laughed, knowing full well that whether he requested it or not, Ruth Storm was probably going to advise him of his predicted future. Kase wished she could guarantee that he was doing the right thing by shutting Rose out of his life. What if he did walk again someday? What if he lost her because he was too impatient to wait until all hope was exhausted? He glanced out the window and watched as shadows from passing clouds moved over the face of the land and undulated across the peaks and valleys of the mountainsides.

Caleb broke the silence. “Zach stopped by a few minutes ago. He’ll be up to see you as soon as your mother stops filling him with appelflappen. He said your friend Flossie is having a Christmas party. If you’d like, we’ll drive you into town and we can all go together. It might be fun.”

“No!” Kase answered sharply. “No, I don’t think so,” he said more gently. Attending another one of Flossie’s parties would only remind him of the first time he and Rose had made love after the birthday celebration. Besides, he thought, Rose was sure to be there; It was too soon to see her again. He was still far too vulnerable to her.

“We’ll be leaving for Boston the week after Christmas,” Caleb said. “Are you looking forward to going home?”

Kase paused to think about his answer. Home? He had never thought of Boston as home. Now, at the thought of leaving Rose behind, the thought of returning to Boston made him sad. Still, he did look forward to seeing his sister, Annameike, as he called her, once again. He would miss sharing their traditional Christmas celebration with her.

As if Caleb had read his mind he said, “Annika said to tell you that we will all have to celebrate Christmas again with her and Aunt Ruth when we get home.”

Kase smiled as he thought of his aunt Ruth, who was Caleb’s stepmother. Absentminded and a bit eccentric, Ruth kept them all laughing. She nearly created a whirlwind as she bustled about the mansion.

“Your mother and I have high hopes that the doctors in Boston will be able to help you walk again.”

“I know. I just hope you don’t have those hopes set too high,” Kase warned.

Caleb took a deep breath and tapped the folded newspaper against his knee. “Kase, I know it’s none of my business, but I was wondering if you ever intend to see Rosa again?”

“You’re right. It’s none of your business.”

“It’s pretty obvious that she cares for you.”

Kase arched a brow, his voice cynical. “Yeah? How long do you think she’d love living with someone who can’t even put his own pants on?”

Caleb did not hesitate to answer. “If she loved you? Forever.”

“Really? I don’t think so.”

“So you’re shutting her out of your life because you can’t walk?”

“That and other obvious reasons.”

They stared at each other in silence. Kase wrestled with a question that had long been on his mind.

“If you had to do it all over, would you marry Mother again?”

Caleb frowned. “I told you the other day that she is my life. If you’re wondering if I think it was fair of me to subject her to life with a half-breed, yes, even then I would do it again, not because I’m the world’s most selfish bastard, but because your mother loves me as much as I love her. We never doubt that in each other. That love makes us stronger than any prejudice or hardship we have to face. And we’ve always faced them together.”

Caleb stood up and walked across the room. He paused momentarily to toss another log on the fire before he left. “Does that answer your question?”

Kase turned his head and watched the light and shadows play across the land. “Yeah. Yeah, it does. But it doesn’t change my mind.”

“I mean it, Rosie gal. You just close this place on up and come over for dinner with me and the girls tonight. Paddie’s droppin’ in and so’s Slick. Prob’ly won’t be more than half a dozen cowboys in tonight, bein’ as how it’s Christmas Eve.”

Rosa shook her head. For a good fifteen minutes she had tried to convince Flossie that Christmas Eve meant little to her except that it was the night before a holy day. In Italy the family had always celebrated the legend of the old crone, the Bifana, on January 6. The children were told of the old woman dressed in black who passed by their homes and left surprises for those who were good.

Flossie was adamant and not about to budge when Quentin strode across the sidewalk and opened the front door. Cold air swept in behind him. He pulled off his hat and smoothed his hair into place. Rosa’s heart began to pound. Did he bring news of Kase?

“Hello, Rosa. Floss. What’s the gossip today?”

“No gossip, Quentin. I’m just tryin’ to talk a little sense into this gal. She’s fixed us all up with a heap o’ food for the holidays and now she’s refusin’ to come over and eat with us.”