Rossum´s Universal Robots

R.
U. R.

(Rossum´s Universal Robots)

A
PLAY
IN
INTRODUCTORY
SCENE
AND
THREE
ACTS

by

Karel Čapek

Translated into English by David Wyllie.

Original
ePub version 1.0 by Dead^Man Nov, 2010; v1.5 update April, 2011.

Mobi
and LIT
editions published simultaneously with April update.

Cleaned up many errors. Embedded
Times New Roman
font (in ePub, larger file size) so the diacritics show properly. This should fix problems on readers that do not support full character sets. If the reader does not support embedded fonts, then you are SOL.

Table of Contents

Dramatis Personae

Introductory Scene

Act One

Act Two

Act Three

About the Author

Dramatis Personae

Harry Domin
Director General, Rossum’s Universal Robots

Fabry
Technical Director, R. U. R.

Dr. Gall
Head of Physiology and Research Department, R. U. R.

Dr. Hallemeier
Head of Institute for Robot Psychology and Behaviour, R. U. R

Busman
Commercial Director, R. U. R.

Alquist
Head of Construction, R. U. R.

Helena Glory

Nana
Her Nanny

Marius
Robot

Sulla
Robot, female

Radius
Robot

Damon
Robot

1. Robot

2. Robot

3. Robot

4. Robot

Primus
Robot

Helena
Robot, female

Robot servant

and numerous robots

Domin
in introductory scene, about thirty-eight years old, tall, clean shaven

Fabry
also clean shaven, fair, serious and delicate features

Dr. Gall
light build, lively, dark complexion and black moustache

Hallemeier
heavy build, noisy, big ginger moustache and ginger shock of hair

Busman
fat, bald, short-sighted Jew

Alquist
older than the others, dressed without care, long grey hair and beard

Helena
very elegant

in the play proper, all ten years older

In the introductory scene, the robots are dressed like people. They are slightly mechanical in their speech and movements, blank of expression, fixed in their gaze. In the play proper they wear linen blouses seized at the waist with a belt and on their breasts wear a brass number

Intervals after the introductory scene and the second act.

Introductory Scene

Central office at the factory of Rossum‘s Universal Robots. Entrance stage right. Through the windows can be seen endless rows of factory buildings. Stage left, further administrative areas.

Domin
(
Sitting at a large American desk in a swivelling chair. On the table are a lamp, telephone, paperweight, files, letters, papers etc. On the wall, stage left, are large maps showing shipping lines and railway lines, large calendar, clock showing just before midday; on the wall stage right are printed posters: “The Cheapest Workforce You Can Get: Rossum’s Robots”, “Latest invention; Robots for the Tropics. 150 d. each”, “Everyone Should have a Robot!”, “Reduce the Cost of your Products! Order a Robot from Rossum’s!”. Also other maps, shipping timetable, notice board with telegrams, rates of exchange etc. In contrast with the content of the walls, the floor is covered with a magnificent Turkish carpet, stage right is as round armchair, settee, sumptuous leather armchair, bookshelves containing not books but bottles of wines and spirits. Stage left, safe. Beside Domin’s desk a typewriter at which Sulla is writing
)

Domin
(
dictating
) “… cannot take responsibility for items damaged intransit. The captain of your vessel was given warning at time of loading that it was not suitable for the carriage of robots, and so damage to its cargo cannot be charged to our account. Yours faithfully, Rossum’s Universal Robots.” Is that it now?

Sulla
Yes

Domin
New letter. Friedrichswerke, Hamburg. Date. “We are pleased to confirm receipt of your order for fifteen thousand robots …” (
telephone rings. Domin lifts receiver and speaks
) Hello, central office … yes … certainly … oh yes, as always … of course, send him a telegram.. fine! (
hangs up
) Where were we?

Sulla
 … your order for fifteen thousand robots.

Domin
(
thoughtfully
) fifteen thousand robots, fifteen thousand robots,

Marius
(
enters
) Mr. Domin, there is a lady outside who is asking …

Domin
Who is it?

Marius
I do not know. (
gives him visiting card
)

Domin
(
reading
) Mr. Glory, managing director of... Show him in!

Marius
(
opens door
) Please come in, madam.

(
enter Helena Glory. Exit Marius
)

Domin
(
standing
) Do come in.

Helena
Mr. Domin, the managing director?

Domin
At your service

Helena
I’ve come to see you …

Domin
 … with the visiting card of Mr. Glory-no more need be said.

Helena
Mr. Glory is my father. I’m Helena Glory.

Domin
Miss Glory, this is an exceptional honour for us that...

Helena
.. that you can’t just show me the door

Domin
... that we can welcome the daughter of an illustrious businessman like you father. Please take a seat. Sulla, you can go now (
exit Sulla
)

Domin
(
sitting
) How can I help you, Miss Glory?

Helena
I’ve come here...

Domin
.. to see our factory for making people for yourself. All our visitors want to see the factory. And of course you’re very welcome.

Helena
I thought it wasn’t allowed to...

Domin
... enter the factory? Well, of course it’s not, but everyone who comes here has a recommendation from somebody, Miss Glory.

Helena
And do you let everyone see it...?

Domin
Not all of it. Making artificial people is an industrial secret.

Helena
Why will you never let me finish what I say?

Domin
Oh, I’m sorry. Is that not what you were going to say?

Helena
I was going to ask....

Domin
... whether I might show you something in our factory that the others aren’t allowed to see. Well, I’m sure that’ll be OK, Miss Glory.

Helena
What makes you think that’s what I was going to ask?

Domin
Everyone asks for the same thing. (
standing
) I can personally show you more than the others are allowed to see.

Helena
Thank you.

Domin
All I ask is that you don’t say anything at all to anyone else.

Helena
(
stands and offers her hand
) Word of honour.

Domin
Thank you. Would you not like to take off your veil?

Helena
Oh, of course, you’ll be wanting to see my face. Do excuse me.

Domin
That’s alright.

Helena
And, if you would just let go of my hand...

Domin
(
releases hand
) I’m sorry, I forgot.

Helena
(
removes veil
) Do you want to make sure I’m not a spy. You seem very careful.

Domin
(
looks at her, enchanted
) Hm – oh, yes,-well – that’s just how we are.

Helena
Don’t you trust me?

Domin
Exceptionally. Miss, er, do excuse me Miss Glory. This really is an exceptional pleasure. Did you have a good crossing?

Helena
Yes. Why?

Domin
Because – well, that is – because you are very young.

Helena
Are we going into the factory now?

Domin
Yes. I suppose about twenty-two?

Helena
Twenty-two what?

Domin
Years.

Helena
Twenty-one. Why do you want to know that?

Domin
Because... sort of... (
with enthusiasm
) You will be staying here for sometime, won’t you.

Helena
That depends on how much you choose to show me.

Domin
Ah, the damned factory! But of course, Miss Glory, you can see everything. Do please sit down. Would you be interested in hearing the history of our invention?

Helena
Yes, I would. (
sits
)

Domin
Well this is what happened. (
sits at desk, seems captivated by Helena and speaks quickly
) It was in 1920 when old Rossum, still a young man then but a great scientist, came to live on this isolated island in order to study marine biology. Stop. Alongside his studies, he made several attempts to synthesise the chemical structure of living tissues, known as protoplasm, and he eventually discovered a material that behaved just the same as living tissue despite being, chemically, quite different. That was in 1932, exactly four hundred and forty years after the discovery of America.

Helena
Do you know all this by heart?

Domin
I do. Physiology really isn’t my subject. Shall I carry on?

Helena
If you like.

Domin
(
triumphant
) And then, Miss Glory, this is what he wrote down in his chemical notes: „Nature has found only one way of organising living matter. There is however another way which is simpler, easier to mould, and quicker to produce than Nature ever stumbled across. This other path along which life might have developed is what I have just discovered. “Just think: he wrote these words about a blob of some kind of coloidal jelly that not even a dog would eat. Imagine him sitting with a test tube and thinking about how it could grow out into an entire tree of life made of all the animals starting with a tiny coil of life and ending with... ending with man himself. Man made of different material than we are. Miss Glory, this was one of the great moments of history.