Rouge (19 page)

“How’d you get that?” he asked, but I answered.

“I loaned it to him.”

Beau backed out into the passage again and waited.

“Let yourself out,” Gavin said. “And go home.”

He hesitated, but I nodded. We didn’t have a choice.

“Goodnight,” he said softly, then disappeared into the passageway.

Gavin stepped out behind him, watching until I heard the click of the back door and my heart sank. Gavin stepped back inside and walked to the table.

“I haven’t seen this in years,” he said, picking up the pen. “Your mother gave it to him. He was never without it. Until he left.”

Then he inhaled deeply and looked at me. “So you and that set worker—”

“It’s nothing,” I said. The thought that he might fire Beau flickered across my mind, and I couldn’t bear the idea of Beau not being there, waiting to hold me night after night on the catwalk.

“I saw you out with him the other night. And I’ve seen him watching you.”

“Freddie’s talking about marriage.”

Gavin pursed his lips and nodded. “Good. That would be best.”

I looked up at him. “What did you tell him? About my family?”

“Just what he needed to hear to ease his mind.”

“It worked. I guess I should thank you.”

“I’m attempting to keep my promise.”

“This afternoon he mentioned a man. An investigator named Landry. He offered to help me find my family, and well, it frightened me.”

Gavin exhaled and stepped to the door. “Don’t worry. I’ve dealt with men like Landry before. Besides, your story’s not written down. There’s nothing to discover that I don’t invent.”

I nodded and stepped to close the door behind him, but he paused. “The only thing I can’t handle is you and him.” He glanced toward the back door through which Beau had just disappeared. I couldn’t answer.

After a few moments, he spoke again. “You’re old enough to do what you want. Just don’t get yourself in trouble. And take better care with your valuables.”

He lifted his hand and took a step toward me, but I stiffened. “Why are you afraid of me?”

I glanced up quickly, but when I met his eyes, I looked down again. “I want you to be happy. So you don’t send us away. Or—”

“I promised to take care of you.”

“I know,” I whispered.

Then he exhaled and turned to the door. “There is one other thing. I came to speak to you about the little one. My brother finds her interesting.”

In that moment, I felt distinctly as if the hand of my worst nightmare had reached out of the darkness and grabbed me by the neck. I couldn’t swallow.

“He’s asking for her,” Gavin continued.

“No.”

Gavin studied me, a sad little smile on his face. “He’s the one I have to worry about keeping happy.”

Rage swelled inside me, and I forgot all my fear. My eyes were clouded as I rushed to the door and grabbed his arm. “What does he want?” I cried.

He looked down at my hand clutching his sleeve. “He knows she isn’t part of the show. He wants her for himself.”

“He can’t have her!”

“She has no family, no talent, no education. It’s probably the only way she’ll ever make money.”

“She has me. I’m her family.” My voice was ragged. “And she doesn’t need to make money. She’s never cost you a cent.”

“That’s not the point.” He found my hand and began loosening my fingers. “Guy holds the deed to this place. He gets what he wants.”

My head was spinning, and all I could see was the green-eyed fox. For a moment I thought I might collapse, but I rallied, remembering Guy’s words. What he’d said here that night about watching me grow.

“You’re lying. You didn’t let him have me.” I struggled with the memory, with what it meant. “He said he’d been watching me.”

“I made a promise.”

“He can have me now. I’ll take her place.” It was out so fast, there wasn’t time to reconsider. I looked down at my clenched fists.

“No,” Gavin said. “You’re too important to the show. And I made a promise.”

“I made a promise. I promised to protect her.”

He shook his head. “I won’t agree to this.”

“I won’t let him hurt her.”

Gavin pressed his lips together in a tight line. We stood in a silent impasse, him in the doorway, me facing him down, fighting to pull air into my lungs.

“I’ll try and hold him off a little longer,” he finally said. “Perhaps he’ll find another interest.”

I didn’t speak as he turned to go. I couldn’t stop trembling. He stopped before closing the door again. “I hope you like your gift. It was your mother’s favorite.”

Then he shut the door, and I was alone in the dim lamplight. After a few moments, I was sure he was gone, and I turned and slowly walked to the table, my whole body tense. I lifted the box he’d put there. Inside was a tiny bottle of what looked like perfume, and when I pulled the small stopper, my room filled with the scent of tea-roses and ocean air, the scent of my mother. I remembered her dark hair, the soft folds of her cotton gown, being a tiny girl and pulling these things around me for comfort, for protection. The closest thing I had to that now was Beau, but even he couldn’t undo my words.

I closed my eyes and sat on my chair, pulling my knees to my chest. My body shook harder, and I hugged my legs tighter against my body as I rocked back and forth, contemplating what I’d just done.

Like a giant wheel, our week began again with stale breakfast, never enough, rehearsals until we could perform in our sleep, costume adjustments, set repairs, and then back to bed to sleep until it all began again. My mind had gone numb since my conversation with Gavin and my promise. I wouldn’t go back on my word. I wouldn’t let Teeny be taken.

It wasn’t clear if my vow meant I would have to move to
Atlanta
with Guy or if he would keep me here as his personal escort. I was sure he would find us if we tried to flee into the city, and any exchange attempt I’d made would be null and void at that point. Teeny would be his, and possibly me, too.

No matter what future Beau imagined for us, there was nothing he could do in the face of Guy’s money and power.  My only hope now was Freddie, but I feared even his salvation wouldn’t come in time for me.

When Beau finally arrived, it was all I could do to keep from telling him the whole story, but I knew what that would mean. He’d try to rescue me, but Teeny would be left vulnerable. I wouldn’t let that happen.

He found me in the wings, watching Fiona work with some of the dancers. One look and he swept me into his arms, behind the heavy, dark curtains and immediately into a long, searching kiss. I slid my fingers into his soft hair, echoing his movements with my own—tongues touching, warm breath whispering across my cheek.

“I love you,” he said again right beside my ear, and despite my panic and fear, I clung to him, battling tears as he kissed my cheek and then my lips again. “I love being able to say that to you. And I was so disappointed last night, but maybe tonight?”

Then he saw my expression. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

It tore at my heart to let him go, but I steeled myself, knowing the promise I’d made. “We can’t be together. I have to stick to my plans with Freddie.”

Confusion lined his brow, and I could see all the arguments forming behind his eyes. “Why are you saying this now? What happened last night with Gavin?”

“It doesn’t matter. I made a promise, and I have to keep it.”

“No, you don’t. Not if it means marrying a man you don’t love.”

I nodded, swallowing the painful knot in my throat. “You’d be right if this was just about me, but it’s never been that way. I have other people to consider. I’m not the only one at stake here.”

He caught my arms, gripping me hard at the elbows as I tried to move back. He looked directly into my eyes. “What’s this really about? Becoming like Evie?”

“It’s more than that. It’s something I can’t change, and neither can you.”

“Tell me what it is, and I’ll make that decision.”

I glanced up at his blue eyes, and I thought of the irises he used to give me. I thought of that week we’d spent together, holding hands, dreaming of the future, and the pain surged back more fiercely than before.

“I know you’d do what you could to help me. I know you would, but if I don’t keep my promise...”

I shook my head. “There’s nothing we can do this time.”

He looked at me, and I saw the understanding break across his face. “This is about Teeny.”

“It’s my fault she’s here. That she’s in danger,” I said. “I begged
Rosa
to let me keep her, and now—”

He cut me off. “She’s not a puppy, Hale.”

“I never said she was.”

“Yet you dedicate yourself to her as if…” he paused looking for the right word.

“As if I were her mother?”

He frowned and looked at me. “Yes.”

“I knew you wouldn’t understand.” I turned and walked to the door leading to the backstage passage. My hand reached the handle just as his hands found my waist and arm. He pulled my back against his warm body, and my insides melted.

“Wait,” he said. “Don’t go yet.”

“It’s best if I do.”

“But you love me.” He pressed his face into my hair. “That’s more important than any of this.”

“No, it’s not. And I’m sorry I told you that. I shouldn’t have been so weak.”

His grip relaxed at my words. He stepped back and crossed his arms, frowning. “So you’re determined to end it.”

I paused at the door, pain wrenching my insides. I didn’t lift my head to look at him. I only nodded. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

He was starting to say something, but I was through the door before I could hear it, running to my shared room as fast as my legs would take me.

* * *

Teeny continued drawing even though Beau wasn’t around to teach her anymore. He’d kept his Sunday job despite my cancellation of our plans. I’d given up dreaming about a future for us together, but each afternoon a small token would appear on my dressing table. First it was a single blue iris. Then it was a tiny chocolate, next a little sketch of two hands, fingers entwined. By Thursday, I had a collection in the small basket beneath my dressing table, along with the box that held my mother’s perfume.

Thursday night he behaved as if nothing had changed. He watched me climb from the top of the ladder with a smile on his face, and while we waited, he held my hand and caressed the top of it with his thumb. It was excruciating, but I was too overwhelmed to argue. I didn’t understand why he was behaving this way, deluding himself, and killing me.

“Nothing’s changed,” I whispered in the moments before my song began.

“You love me. I’m not letting you go.”

Pain.
“I’m marrying Freddie.”

“Not yet,” he smiled.

I shook my head and turned away as my seat moved out, and I presented the same song of disillusionment to a new set of dazzled faces.

Freddie was preoccupied after the show, but I was pure flirtatious charm, hoping my lavish affections would tease him into a fast proposal and short engagement.

“I hope you’re not growing tired of the show,” I smiled, tracing my finger up his hand and slipping it under his cuff. “It always makes me happy to know you’re out there watching.”

Freddie caught my hand and laced our fingers. My behavior at least emboldened him enough that now he didn’t ask for permission before kissing me. These days I put my whole heart into our kisses, opening my mouth quickly, ready to welcome any advances. But they didn’t come, and I still didn’t have a ring.

“Darling, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news,” he said, releasing me. “But I hope it has a little good news tucked inside.”

I frowned. “Bad news?”

“I’ve got to go to
Paris
.”

My heart slammed to the floor, and I didn’t have to pretend to be horrified. “What?”

He clutched me to him, giving me another kiss. “I know,” he sighed, pressing his cheek to mine. “Normally I would be thrilled to be returning home, but now I don’t think I can bear the separation.”

I was afraid I might lose it. No engagement, and now this?

“For how long?” I asked.

“A month, six weeks at the most. Father has a business matter he said I need to handle personally.” Then he smiled. “I’m afraid my revelation at lunch was a bit too impressive.”

I couldn’t speak.

“But the good news is there’s a divine little jewelry store just off the Champs-Élysées,” he continued. “I have the perfect ring in mind…”

“A month,” I repeated. All I could think of was Guy’s return.

“Will you forget me?”

“Of course not.”

He kissed my temple, and then reached for his pocket.