Rough, Raw and Ready (37 page)

Chassie’s mouth dropped open. “You’re joking.”

“No. Ma deposited ours in the bank and wouldn’t let us have it until we turned twenty-one. I told Dag when I got mine. So Dag asked Uncle Harland about his, and…”

Ugly, thick pause.

“Dad spent it all, didn’t he?”

Colt nodded. “I’m sorry. Dag found out Uncle Harland blew every bit. My understandin’ was that was the last straw between them. Dag didn’t so much care about his inheritance, but yours was a different story.”

She felt ill.

“See you were doomed to fail before you got outta the gate, Chass. It ain’t your fault,” Colt said hotly. “I don’t want you to fail, ’cause I know all about failure.”

“Colt—”

288

www.samhainpublishing.com

Lorelei James

“I’ve felt like a failure most my adult life. Cord is the oldest and a natural born rancher. Colby is the rodeo star. Cam is the hero.” Colt squeezed his eyes shut briefly.

“Cam is even more a hero now. Carter is the smart college boy. And Keely is the long-awaited girl. Which leaves me as the fuck-up, the ne’er do well middle child, the charmer, the womanizer, the drunken fool. I lived up to that bad reputation because it was all I had. All I ever saw myself as.

“My brothers’ve done noble things while I’ve done nothin’ worth mentionin’ and done plenty of things I’m ashamed of. Here’s a chance to make things right for someone besides myself.” His vivid blue eyes were beseeching. “This is something I wanna do, something that’ll let me feel as if I’m lookin’ after you like Dag might’ve wanted me to.

I’m payin’ off my debt to the past by helpin’ you to secure the future you’ve always deserved, Chass, is that so wrong?”

“By givin’ me your hard earned money?”

“How else are you gonna buy Gus’s land and increase the size of your operation?”

Chassie frowned. “But I thought your family wanted that section?”

“Fuck my family. Maybe it’s time they realized they can’t always get what they want just ’cause their last name is McKay.”

His vehemence surprised her.

Colt paced. “Do you really think we need another coupla thousand acres? No. But McKay Ranches would snap it up just because they could. That acreage won’t take a nickel away from our livelihood, but it sure as hell will make a huge difference in yours and Trevor’s. And honestly, I’ve done enough shitty things to people I care about to last me a lifetime. Jesus, Chassie, you’re one of the few that’s not on the list of folks I’ve wronged and I’d like to keep it that way. Takin’ this land out from under you feels wrong.”

Chassie placed her hand on his arm, stopping his nervous activity. When Colt looked at her, Chassie finally understood this offer was about more than money. It wasn’t about charity. It wasn’t really about guilt. It was about Colt proving he’d changed, probably when no one in his family believed he could. Proving that same streak of decency www.samhainpublishing.com 289

Rough, Raw, and Ready

running through his brothers ran through him too, even if he and Chassie were the only ones who were aware he’d acted on it.

Colt’s problems with his family were not her issues, but a niggling voice pointed out by Colt coming to her, he’d taken on the responsibility of helping her overcome
her
family issues—chiefly financial, by bucking his own family’s best interests.

“If I take the money, what will you want in return?”

Colt blanched. “Nothin’. I swear.”

“No unlimited grazin’ rights? Water rights? Mineral rights? Huntin’ rights?”

He shook his head.

Seemed too good to be true. “I’ll have to clear it with Trevor.”

“I’d expect nothin’ less. I wanted to talk to you first.”

Chassie yelled, “Hey, guys, come here.”

“Guys? But—”

She locked her gaze to Colt’s. “Edgard is a permanent part of the operation and of our life now.”

After a second, Colt nodded.

That wasn’t so hard. She expected it’d get even easier in time.

When Trevor and Edgard ambled over, Chassie and Colt explained the situation.

No surprise Trevor was adamantly opposed. “Absolutely not. Like you said, Chass, if we can’t come up with the cash ourselves then ownin’ that place wasn’t meant to be.”

“You’d’ve had no problem borrowin’ the money from your dad,” Chassie pointed out.

“That’s different,” Trevor said.

“How so?” Colt demanded. “A loan from family is a loan from family. I’m Chassie’s family, which makes you family too.”

“So you’re lendin’ us the money?” Trevor asked.

“I sure as hell ain’t
givin’
it to you.”

A sharp bark of laughter. “That’s a big relief.”

Colt relaxed slightly. “Think of it as a long-term investment.”

290

www.samhainpublishing.com

Lorelei James

Trevor studied him distrustfully, not because Colt was dishonest, but because in Trevor’s mind, all dealings with family were suspect. “If you ain’t gettin’ interest on the loan, then what’s in it for you short term?”

“I dunno.” Colt scratched his cheek thoughtfully. “I’m lookin’ to diversify my part of the herd. How about you gimme first pick of your male calves durin’ brandin’? They’re worth about a thousand bucks at that age.”

“You want all twenty-five this spring?”

“Nope. One or two a year’ll be just fine.”

Chassie gawked at her cousin in disbelief. “But that’ll take years!”

“Like I told you, I’m lookin’ at long-term.” That flash of shame appeared in his eyes again, but he soldiered on. “Ask me where the money I’m lendin’ you came from, Chassie.”

“Where?”

“It’s what I would’ve spent on booze and women in just the last year. It’s sittin’ there starin’ me in the face like guilt and blood money. I wanna invest it in something I believe in, which is a family ranchin’ operation.” Colt looked across the field, but Chassie knew he was looking far beyond what she could see. “So many of my friends are gone to greener pastures. I couldn’t stand it if you were another one of ’em to leave, and not out of choice.”

Chassie was one of the few who knew Colt’s life hadn’t been as carefree as people assumed and he’d had fewer choices than any of his siblings.

“Anyway, when I build a house on the frontage between the creek and the bluff, we’ll be even closer neighbors, so it makes sense we look out for each other’s best interests.”

“Got a flesh and blood woman all picked out to settle down with in this phantom house you’re describin’?” Trevor prompted with a wicked grin.

“Possibly.” Colt shrugged. “Mostly I’m tired of livin’ at the Boars Nest. I want my own place. Chet and Remy drew up specs and we’re just waitin’ on the county to clear the permits.”

www.samhainpublishing.com 291

Rough, Raw, and Ready

That surprised her. Chassie wondered if his family was privy to his plans to move away from the McKay stronghold.

“So do we have a deal?” Colt asked.

“Yes!” Chassie launched herself at Colt, hugging him tightly. “Thank you. You have no idea what this means to us.”

“Yeah, little cuz, I believe I do.”

“Contrary to what you think, you are a good guy,” she whispered. “A credit to the McKay name. Dag would be proud of you and I’ll try like hell to live up to your faith in me.”

“The fact you were one of the few who never lost faith in me is worth every damn penny.” He hugged her and climbed in his truck without another word.

“That bastard stole my thunder,” Edgard groused.

“What?”

“I’d planned on talkin’ to you and Chass about me making the down payment for Gus’s place with the money from selling my ranch in Brazil.”

Trevor caught Edgard’s golden gaze. “You serious?”

“Serious enough I spoke to Gus yesterday and guaranteed you and Chassie had the cash and asked him not to contact the McKays.”

Trevor didn’t—couldn’t speak.

“Hell, you ain’t mad, are you?” Edgard twisted the toe of his boot into a pile of snow.

“Not mad. Just wonderin’ why you did it.” Wondering why Ed hasn’t said anything when they’d talked last night.

“Time was running out. You were both preoccupied with family shit and I couldn’t stand it if we lost out on something important to all of us because of pride or fear or mixed signals. I waited until Chassie got home to discuss it because it’s her future too.”

292

www.samhainpublishing.com

Lorelei James

Trevor’s heart damn near danced out of his chest. Everything he’d ever wanted was within reach; he just had to grab it with both hands. He circled one arm around Chassie’s shoulder and the other around Ed’s. “Come on inside. Too damn cold out here.”

In the kitchen, Chassie said, “Trev, what happened with your dad?”

Trevor poured milk in Chassie’s favorite cup and put it in the microwave. “Pa’s fine.” He relayed the trip, detailing events even when he’d rather avoid discussing them.

“Hope you didn’t have your heart set on cozyin’ up to my family.”

“You’re my family. You deserve better than the way they’ve treated you and I’m damn glad you didn’t knuckle under.”

“Amen.” Edgard gently swept a piece of Chassie’s hair away from the bandage on her forehead. She smiled, showing her acceptance of Ed’s easy affection. It also showed Trevor how badly Edgard needed to share that side of himself with someone who not only welcomed it, but appreciated it and reciprocated.

It brought a lump to Trevor’s throat and a balm to his soul to think Chassie was the bridge that allowed him to connect to Edgard. Without her, he’d be lost on so many levels. She’d taught him he was worthy of love. She’d showed him how to love without conditions. She’d proven understanding and acceptance were not parts of love that could be parceled out, but real, honest love needed all those components to be successful, fulfilling and long lasting.

Without Chassie, Trevor never would’ve reached the point that he could accept how he felt about Edgard, say nothing of flying in the face of conventionality and proposing what he was about to propose.

“As long as we’re spilling family secrets, Ed, did you tell Trevor everything that happened the last year you lived in Brazil?”

He nodded. “I shoulda told you both right away, but I didn’t want you to feel sorry for me and realize I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“Which brings us back to what we’ve been talkin’ about.” Trevor focused on his wife. “How would you feel about all three of us livin’ together like we’ve been? On a permanent basis?”

www.samhainpublishing.com 293

Rough, Raw, and Ready

Chassie’s fingers relaxed around her cup and her gaze zipped between his and Edgard’s faces. “I thought that was a given.”

“You did?”

“Didn’t you? Both of you? I mean, come on. After all we’ve done, not just sexually, but emotionally? We’ve already begun to form a weird sort of three amigos thing. I hated it when Trevor was gone and I imagine you two missed me. And I can’t fathom Trevor and me standin’ on the porch waving at Ed as he drives away for good.”

The mental image of Edgard leaving brought back the acute ache Trevor never recovered from that day in Cheyenne—until now.

Chassie set down her cup and covered his hand with hers. “Trevor, as much as I loved our life before, havin’ Edgard here makes it better because you’re happier.”

“With this many people involved, the three amigos—as you’ve called us—decisions can’t be based on just one person’s happiness when that decision affects all of us. Does Edgard bein’ here make
you
happier, darlin’?”

“Yes.”

Not a bit of hesitation in her answer, which boggled Trevor’s mind. “Why? I mean you’ll be sharin’ me on a permanent basis.”

“I don’t mind sharing you, especially since he’s brought to life the part of you that’s always been missing, a part I never had in the first place. Edgard’s given me a gift by letting me see all of you, not just the part you wanted me to see because you were ashamed of the rest.” She winked at Edgard. “Plus, Ed can cook.”

“I love you so damn much.” Trevor lifted her hand and kissed her knuckles. “I’m so goddamn lucky to have you.”

“Amen,” Edgard said and kissed her other hand.

“I never want either of you to be ashamed of what you feel for each other, or feel like you have to hold back in front of me or in our home,” Chassie said. “What you had was private, but now it belongs to all three of us. Can you guys handle that?”

“I can,” Trevor said.

“I’m good with it.”

294

www.samhainpublishing.com

Lorelei James

“So, I’m thinkin’ this three-way relationship will work as long as we talk to each other, just like this. No secrets. No half-truths. Tackle issues head on. Take it one step at a time to ensure we get it right for everyone.” Chassie bit her lip and looked at Edgard. “I know we ended up together because of how we feel about Trev, but Lord, it’s crazy scary what I’m startin’ to feel for you.”

“I know.” Edgard touched her face. “I feel the same,
querida
.”

The confession didn’t bother Trevor, but it seemed too easy. “Right now we’re all pumped up and cocky with ‘screw what the rest of the world thinks of us’, but can you live with the
don’t ask, don’t tell
reality for the long term?” Trevor watched the play of emotions on Edgard’s face. “We’ve talked about this on and off, Ed, so now’s the time to speak up if it’s gonna be a problem for you.”

“I lost you once due to that line of black and white thinking, so I’m past it. I could give a rat’s ass about anyone who ain’t in this room right now.”

A sneaky smile curled Chassie’s lips. “Well said. Just as it won’t bother me for the local busybodies to believe I’m so crazy for cock I’ve gotta have two of ’em to keep me satisfied.”

Edgard choked, “Jesus, Chassie.”

“Oh please. My whole life I’ve listened to the outrageous sexual exploits and preferences of my male McKay cousins. It’ll be a hoot to set tongues a-waggin’ in Crook County that the Wests can be just as wild. As long as you’re not double-teaming me on the bar top at the Rusty Spur, I don’t think anyone will muster the guts to ask how good our hired man is with his hands or who he prefers to put them on.”