ROUGH RIDER (9 page)

“
I
want
each of you to leave your cuts here, go out and see what you can find out,” I said.

We’d gathered outside with Bear circling us, sniffing our boots and begging for ear scratches.

“Romeo, go to Otto’s. Hang out, drink a few beers, keep your eyes and ears open. Italo and Alonso - go hang out in the old neighborhood. See if you can get a beat on what Loprinzi and his guys are up to. Bats, brother, you go see if you can get in touch with Donny, from the precinct. See if he’ll tell you anything. Anything at all,” Donny was an old friend of ours from the neighborhood. He and his brother Sal had both become cops, following in their father’s footsteps. Their father, Charlie, was close to both Leo and Giannetti and rumor had it that he wasn’t opposed to letting his palm get a little greasy over the years.

“Sure thing, Dante,” Romeo said, as they all stripped off their cuts and draped them over a chair on the porch.

“What do you want me to do, Dante?” Angry Bobby asked.

“I want you and Gio to go check on my Ma. I don’t want to leave Gabby alone here, and I’d normally go to her house today.” I dug in my wallet and handed Gio some money. “Give her this. Tell her I’ll stop by as soon as I can, and tell her to have Veronica take her to the store.”

“Will do,” Gio said, nodding.

“Thanks, brother,” I said, pulling him in for a hug and then doing the same with Bobby. These guys were my family, just as much as my sister Veronica and my Ma. I hated that I couldn’t be there today, but there was no way in hell I was going to leave Gabby alone.

Ma was really getting old and Veronica was responsible for making sure her day to day needs were met. I went by her house several times a week to make sure she had plenty of money and helped her out with anything she needed around the property. It was the least we could do for her after all she’d done for us over the years. After our father left her all alone, she had to be both mother and father to us, and we didn’t always make it easy. I shuddered to think of the hell I’d put her through before I joined the Army. Hell, the Army years weren’t easy on her either, saddling her with so much worry and pain until I’d finally made it home.

“Check in with me if you hear anything. I want to know who’s looking for us and if anyone’s getting close.” I said, before lowering my voice, “I’ll turn my phone on. Text me with any info you find. When you come back, make sure you aren’t followed.”

I watched the guys leaving, a tiny pang of guilt for lying to Gabby about my phone starting to form in the back of my mind. She’d probably be pissed when she found out that my phone really did work out here, but I knew that when I lied about it. I figured I’d deal with the consequences when that happened, but at the time, there was no way I was going to let her lead Loprinzi to my doorstep.

Not before I had more time to gather information and figure out what to do.

“
S
o why were
you just wandering around the carnival all alone, anyway?” I asked Gabby, the flames from the fire flickering in her pretty green eyes as she smiled at me.

“Cotton candy!” she replied, jutting her chin out proudly.

“Really?” I asked.

“Yep. I was obsessed. I loved those carnivals. Giannetti was the man back then. We all looked up to him. My mother adored him. My father was his most loyal employee.”

“I’ve heard.”

“
I
loved those parties
, though. Not just the cotton candy, but the pony rides, the bouncy houses, the face painting, the fireworks!” Her eyes lit up and I felt a twinge of nostalgia as she described our shared childhood memories. They were the same eyes I’d seen that night behind the tent and I’d had no idea at first. I always figured I’d know them as soon as I looked into them again, but I’d been wrong.

Maybe that was because she’d grown up so much. Those amazing curves were proof of that, but there was a lot more to it than that. It was the eyes themselves. They were filled with a strength, hardened with the sadness that comes when innocence is lost, and yet deeper, wiser. I found myself lost in them, remembering them, remembering the way they’d looked at me last night, trying as hard as I could to engrave them in my head in case they didn’t stick around for too long.

“Yes! I remember all of them fondly. No matter what anyone says about Giannetti, he took care of the neighborhood,” I said, tearing my gaze away at the thought of losing her. That was the first time I realized she was getting under my skin. Or, maybe the first time I admitted it to myself. I guess the first time I’d felt it was when I dragged her out of Otto’s. Or maybe when I first felt her lips against mine. Or, maybe it was the first time I felt her wrapped around me, the first time in so long that I’d buried myself in the heavenly bliss of a woman. I suppressed a groan just thinking about it. Here she was talking about fond childhood memories, and I was fantasizing about ripping her clothes off again and taking her back to my bed once more.

If there was one thing we had, it was time. I got up to lock the front door as she kept talking, the blood rushing through my veins as I imagined her writhing below me.

“He did. I never thought I’d see the day he’d get put in the joint,” she said, her eyes trailing me as I locked the door. I grabbed my gun from the table and tucked it into the waistband of my jeans. She didn’t miss a beat, just kept right on talking. “My dad was so freaked out that day. The whole neighborhood was. Not just Queens, either. All the housewives in Howard Beach were gathered out in the street in front of their houses, chaining smoking and gossiping like it was the event of the century.”

Yeah,
I thought,
she’s not like other girls.
Wait -
women
. She wasn’t like other women. She didn’t flinch at the sight of my gun, she didn’t seem afraid of anything. It made me wonder if she was ever scared of anything in her life. But why would she be if her father was Leonardo Loprinzi? What did she ever have to be afraid of?

No wonder she was calm as a cucumber about all of this shit. She sat there like we were just two old friends catching up. As if there weren’t a dozen dangerous men trying to find us and kill us at this very second. As if our very lives didn’t hinge on what happened in the next few days.

Fuck it,
I thought. Maybe she’s onto something.

“You aren’t afraid?” I asked her, stopping in front of her and pulling her up and into my arms.

“Of you?” she asked.

“No, not of me. Of everyone else,” I said.

A slow smile spread across her lips and she smirked.

“I like to live in the moment,” she winked, “and right now, you’re the only person I see. And I don’t see anything to be afraid of.”

“I like the way you think,” I whispered, pulling her chin up and brushing her lips with mine. She tasted like peaches, so sweet, so good. She melted under my touch. I pulled her close, as close as I could get her, as we stood in the kitchen, slowly inhaling her, tasting her, running the silkiness of her skin under my palms.

All these years, she’d been like a mirage in my head. We were just kids. That brief moment was like a dream, something that never really happened. Something I’d almost convinced myself that I’d made up.

But now she was here, in my arms. Real. Flesh and bone, all feminine softness and welcoming warm bliss that I desperately needed to feel again.

I scooped her up and carried her to my room, slamming the door with my foot behind us, leaving Bear whimpering on the other side.

O
ur clothes melted away
and in seconds we were tangled together, our flesh meeting with desperation, grasping, pulling, pressing, our one raw need to be as close as possible overshadowing all else.

This was how it’s supposed to be
, I thought.

Hungry. Aching. Obsessive.

The need to touch Dante’s flesh - his face, his lips, his hair, the smooth tight skin that stretched across his rippling muscles - possessed me. As soon as he kissed me again, all my worries melted away, right along with my inhibitions. Hot, searing fingers found my center, sliding through my resistance quickly, easily. My hips flew up to meet his hand, my thighs clutching around him, begging for more, demanding more, desperately needing as much of him that he would give.

“Please,” I cried, his lips caressing my ear, his tongue darting inside, sending shivers of electricity shooting through me.

“Please what, Gabby?” he whispered, my name on his lips sounding so delicious to my ears. His lips captured my ear lobe, sucking softly, gently, as I leaned into him, moaning as his teeth scraped against my flesh, his fingers slowly sliding in and out of me as he teased me mercilessly.

“Dante…” I whispered, my voice breathy and desperate. He kissed me again, his tongue delving into my mouth, searching, finding, his fingers curling inside of me, pressing up, pressing deep into me as his kiss devoured my scream. He pulled his lips away, searing me with hot, feathery kisses down my neck, slowly trailing down my chest, his lips engulfing my nipples, sucking softly and then harder, biting, scraping them between his teeth as I cried out into the darkness.

“Oh, baby,” he groaned, his kisses moving down my stomach, so soft, so gentle, until he was pushing my thighs apart, his mouth kissing the inside of my right thigh, teasing me as he started at my knee, moving up excruciatingly slowly, my stomach quivering in the sweetest anticipation.

He knew exactly what he was doing to me, and he loved it.

The heat of his breath caressed my clit as he hovered over me, before he slowly began trailing kisses down my left thigh, leaving my pulsing clit throbbing in unanswered frustration. My hips raised towards him seductively, attempting to silently pull him back, begging for his touch. I needed his mouth, his lips, his heat. I looked down at him, meeting his teasing gaze as he stared up at me across the landscape of my naked, quivering, hungry sex.

The sexiest grin I’d ever seen spread across his face, and then silently, skillfully, deliciously, he finally gave me exactly what I was dying for.

Salvation was sweet, his mouth devouring me like he’d been sent straight from God, or the devil, perhaps. Within moments, he had me writhing on his tongue like a woman possessed and by the time I’d crashed over the edge of intensity, I was convinced he’d sold his soul to the devil for that mouth.

I gasped, crying out, my thighs gripping around him as he kept going, his tongue, his lips, never stopping until I spilled over the edge and slowly came down, my body crumpled in a spent heap below him. I opened my eyes, his face slowly coming into view.

I gasped again, the hunger I saw there so intense that I couldn’t help but be frightened for a fleeting moment. If anyone else looked at me like that, I’d have run away as fast as I could.

But this wasn’t just anyone. This was Dante.

Dante, the boy who’d saved me from flying bullets behind the tent.

Dante, the man who’d taken on a bar full of dangerous outlaws to save me.

Dante, the man who made me feel
alive
…

The look in his eyes was more than hunger. Raw, savage, unleashed lust. The eyes of a beast, the eyes of a man who had only one, burning need. The eyes of a man who would let nothing get in the way of fulfilling that need.

Maybe I should have been more afraid. Maybe another woman would have been.

I reached up to his chest, my fingers sliding over the soft hair, feeling the strength of this beautiful, good, amazing man above me and every ounce of fear melted away.

“I’m all yours,” I whispered, our gaze locked together as he slid into me smoothly, purposefully, roughly. We rocked together, wrapping around each other, our bodies tangled together until we were possessed with one purpose, one need, one fire that could only be extinguished together.

We crashed over the edge of consciousness, the world melting away.

We knew no fear, no pain, nothing but the silky silence and the light from the midnight moon bathing our skin as we held each other as tightly as we could, neither of us willing to let go anytime soon.

“
M
aggie
…?” I whispered. The cold misty was fog surrounding her face. She turned back, smiling at me over her shoulder, her eyes soft and laughing. She reached out a hand towards me, and I reached back towards her, but she was too far away, I couldn’t reach her. I ran forward and she ran faster.

“Wait, Mag…slow down,” I tried again, reaching out as far as my hand could stretch, her soft red curls sliding through my fingers like satin. She stopped suddenly and turned towards me. I froze. Silently, she raised her hand, caressing my face so lightly I almost couldn’t feel her touch. I leaned my face into her hand, and she pulled away, smiling at me again before she turned away and ran off again.

I followed her, but my legs were so heavy they could barely move, and she ran ahead, disappearing into the mist. My heart filled with sadness, her tiny frame dissolving before my eyes as I tried in vain to move faster.

“Maggie!” I called out, my voice echoing back to me from the emptiness.

My body jerked itself awake, the dream, the feeling of losing Maggie all over again too much to bear, even in sleep. I’d had this dream before. Dozens of times. Hell, fucking hundreds.

I hated it every single time, too. Not once had I ever been able to touch her again, no matter how much I tried. Each time I was cursed with it, I was left paralyzed and alone, my heart broken wide open again, the wound as fresh and bloody as ever as I woke up alone in my bed.

Only this time I shouldn’t be alone.

“Gab?” I called out, looking around the empty room for her.

“Gab!” I yelled again, fear gripping my heart instantly at the silence.

I jumped up out of bed and ran into the living room. The front door was wide open, and Gabby was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck!” I yelled, running back into the bedroom and throwing on my jeans and grabbing my gun before flying back through the front door. Adrenaline shot through my veins, my heart racing as I tried to imagine every scenario I could be faced with. I’d learned to be mentally prepared for anything, first on the streets of New York, and then again overseas.

As I stepped out into the morning sunlight, my focus was razor-sharp. Nothing looked out of place, my bike was where I’d left it, and everything was quiet. But there was still no sign of Gabby.

If anything happened to her, I’d never forgive myself. Morbid thoughts invaded my brain, and I did my best to push them away. I couldn’t let my mind get clouded with that right now. I needed to stay focused and alert, prepared for anything, and not let my emotions get in the way.

Emotions. For fuck’s sake, I thought, my mind spinning wildly - now I’ve got emotions to deal with. Somewhere along the way, Gabby had gotten under my skin and I’d begun to have feelings for her. Was it just lust?
Would I be worrying about someone this way if that’s all it was?
I wondered.

“Fuck,” I muttered, as I made my way quietly around the side of the house, my gun drawn. I was halfway to the back of the cabin when I heard a branch snap. I stopped, listening, releasing the safety of my gun, my finger on the trigger, visions racing through my head as I began walking slowly forward again.

Footsteps. I froze again, wishing like hell one of my brothers was here with me. Confrontation was always easier in numbers. I had no idea who I was going to be dealing with. The fucking mafia. One of the Godz. Or worse, a whole fucking gang of the Godz. Or the cops.

Either way, it was probably not going to be good.

And where the fuck was Gabby?
I wondered, as I began slowly moving forward again.

I swallowed hard as I reached the edge of the corner. Someone was around the corner, I was sure of it, I could feel it.

And I wasn’t about to let them attack first.

I rounded the corner quickly, my gun drawn, my finger ready to pull the trigger.

“Fuck!” I yelled, pulling my gun up and turning away, quickly throwing the safety back on.

Bear sauntered out of the trees alone, leaves and tiny twigs clinging to his furry paws, his mouth opened in a smile as he trotted towards me. Gabby followed right behind him, smiling like it was the most natural thing in the world and she hadn’t just scared my heart right out of my chest.

Fear and worry swirled inside me, mixing with intense relief and happiness all at the same time, overwhelming me with its quick intensity. Anything could have happened to her. Hell, I could have fucking shot her myself!

Anger welled up inside of me, a toxic cocktail of emotion that I couldn’t suppress.

“Fuck, Gabby!” I yelled, everything inside of me blowing up all at once.

“What?” she replied, her face full of surprise at my anger.

“Don’t just fucking leave like that, goddammit!” I yelled, my voice echoing through the tall trees overhead.

“What the fuck, Dante?” she asked, her eyes flashing with anger. “I was just taking a walk. I was letting you sleep and Bear needed to go out.”

“Yeah, well, there’s a lot of assholes out looking for you and they’d be real happy to find you wandering around alone in the woods. Fucking wake me up next time!” I growled.

Pain flashed in her eyes, and she looked at me with sheer disgust.

“Don’t fucking talk to me like that! I’ll do whatever the hell I want!” she replied, brushing past me angrily.

For fuck’s sake
, I thought, irritation and frustration washing over me. I grabbed her arm and she turned towards me. That’s when I saw the tears in her eyes.

“Gabby, I’m sorry,” I said, my anger disappearing immediately.

“Nobody said you have to take care of me, Dante!” she said, her words laced with pain. “I certainly didn’t.”

“Maybe not,” I replied, “but here we are. Together.”

“Yeah, well hopefully not for long!” she sneered. “I’m so sorry to be such a fucking burden on you!”

“That’s not what I meant, Gabby!”

“Then what did you mean, Dante? What’s this all about, huh? Why didn’t you just drop me off somewhere when this all began? Why’d you even bring me here?”

“I don’t fucking know. I was trying to protect you.”

“Is that what you do? Protect people?” she asked, her eyes flashing, her words ripping right through me.

“Apparently I do a pretty shitty job of it!” I yelled back.

“What the hell are you talking about?” she asked, the truth dawning in her eyes. “Oh. This isn’t about me. This is about Maggie, isn’t it? You couldn’t protect her. So you’re trying to make up for it with keeping me here, aren’t you?”

“Back off, Gabby,” I said, every wall that I’d let down in the last few days shooting back up around my heart. She was seeing too much, getting too close.

What the hell was I thinking? Letting her in like that, letting myself feel something for her?

Hell, maybe her Daddy could help her. Maybe that’s just what she needed. Why the fuck I ever thought I could save her was now lost on me.

She was right, and I didn’t even realize it until now. She wasn’t Maggie. I was never going to save Maggie. Maggie was dead. There was nothing left to save.

I looked down at Gabby, allowing myself to drink in her beauty one last time before I turned everything off, remembering the feel of her plump lips on mine, the velvety softness of her skin, the smell of her hair…

“The guys will be here soon. This will all be over before you know it and we’ll get you out of here and back to your life.” My voice sounded like it came from someone else, far away, closed off somewhere in the darkness.

I turned away, leaving her standing there with Bear, the trees dancing around her confused face, but I couldn’t look back. I couldn’t allow myself to see the pain that I knew was there. I couldn’t face my own pain - I certainly couldn’t face hers.

Instead, I did what I do best. I turned away, turned it all off, and ripped off the scabs that had grown around my wounded heart.

It was best to keep it bloody and raw, to prevent it from healing.

That way, I wouldn’t forget who I was.

That way, I wouldn’t forget where I came from.