Rough Road (14 page)

“It’s lovely to meet you all,” I say, glancing at Wish and his big, reassuring smile. “Wish has told me a lot about you.”

“Don’t believe a word,” Max groans.

“Aloysius said you were older, but he didn’t mention how handsome you were.” Kelly smiles at me. “He probably thought I’d try to steal you away.”

“Mom.” Wish covers his face with one hand and shakes his head, gesturing at me with the other. “Gay!”

“All the ones who can still find their abs at forty-five are, sweetheart. And if we’re going to be dating guys in the same age group, I get to harass you about it.”

Wish throws his arm around her shoulders, clearly comfortable with the teasing. He gives me a coy little smile as if to say, “See, I
told
you.”

“Edward!” Mom’s panicked voice calls from behind me just before Ricochet comes leaping onto the deck, leash dangling behind him. I grab the leash and pull him up short before he can jump on my guests, and then I scoop him up and turn around.

“Hi, Mama.”

“I’m sorry, Ed. He saw you and took off.” She flaps her hands as I reach to help her onto the boat, preferring to find her own footing. I introduce her to Wish’s family and ask her to take the wheel as I glance at my watch; Tina is late. I scan the docks for any sign of Elvis’s sparkly leash and collar.

I worry about Tina. Not in the same way I worry about Ben—she’s never seemed quite as fragile—but in a big-brother way. When she isn’t where she says she’ll be, I get nervous.

“I don’t know anyone who still wears a watch,” Max says, pointing at my wrist. “Doesn’t everyone use their phone?”

“Heirlooms and habits are hard to abandon.” I peek down at my wrist again. The watch is worth almost as much as the boat, but I see no point in mentioning that. “It reminds me of my father.”

Wish comes up behind me and wraps an arm around my waist. “Why don’t you call her?”

But as I’m taking my phone out, she comes sprinting up the dock toward my slip, Elvis nowhere in sight.

“Sorry I’m late. Is everyone here already?”

“It’s about time.” I roll my eyes to cover my relief. “And yes, everyone is here except you and Elvis. Where’s the mutt?”

“He’s with Joe.” She shrugs, then bends down to untie the boat from the dock. She tosses me the rope and explains, “She has a summer cold, and I left him with her to cheer her up.”

“And who, Tina-cakes, is Joe?” I move the bumpers inside as she unties the last rope. She pulls the boat closer with it, then hops across, taking my hand.

“Joe is a new friend.” She grins at me. “And she is way cuter than Ben.”

Well. Good for
her
.

I pack away the bumpers and ropes and offer to take the wheel from Mama, but she waves me off.

“I’m fine, honey. Catch up with your friends.”

I turn to see Tina stripping down to her bikini. A huge green and purple bruise covers her leg from knee to hip.

“What the hell happened to you?” I blurt out.

She glances down at her leg and grins. “Nasty fall. Not a serious one though.”

“It sure as hell looks serious.” I’m familiar with bruises, and this one speaks of impact that could break bones. “And what are you grinning about?”

“You know how, when you meet someone, and you get all wrapped up in them, giddy at the thought of them, and the time you spend with them seems brighter and more intense than anything else in your life?”

I can’t help it; I sneak a glance at Wish, who’s moved to sit next to his mom. His hair is flapping in the breeze, and he’s pulled his T-shirt off so he can put sunscreen on his shoulders. He’s smiling at his mom and when he catches my gaze, his smile gets bigger.

“Yeah, I know what you mean.” I turn my attention back to her. “So, you feel that way about this Joe?”

She laughs. “Nope. I feel that way about
derby
.”

“Derby? Like, roller derby?”

“Yep.” She pokes my abs with a finger. “You should come see our next bout.”

The mind boggles. I didn’t even know Lake Lovelace had a roller derby team, let alone that Tina was on it. I really have been wrapped up in Wish.

“I can do that. Send me the details, and Wish and I will make a date of it.”

“I saw you look at him just then,” she singsongs.

“So what?” I glare at her.

“Nothing. Not saying a word.” She holds up her hands. “Put some sunscreen on my back, okay?”

We pull the cruiser up to the spectator area early enough to get a prime watching spot, and we put the bumpers out and tie up to a wake boat on one side. We’ll be blocked in from behind soon, but that’s par for the course for events on the lake. Tina, Wish, and I sit up above the bow while the rest of the group watches from the sundeck.

We can hear Ben’s voice rumbling through the speakers, but only barely.

“God, I hope the script banter is better than last year’s.” Tina rolls her eyes. “I don’t know how he and the beauty queen kept a straight face.”

“Eh, they’re professionals. That’s what they do.” I shrug, watching Wish watch the riders.

He turns to Tina and asks, “Where are the girls?”

“They ride tomorrow. Too big a tournament to do it all in one day.”

He nods. “You riding tomorrow?”

She shakes her head. “Nah. I thought I might, but I’ve been busy with other things and I’m out of practice.”

“But you used to ride pro, right? Like Ben? Surely muscle memory and whatnot . . .”

She laughs. “Baby, that was years ago. And I’m . . .” She looks up at me, a question in her eyes. I shake my head to indicate I haven’t told Wish she’s trans. I figure it’s up to her how much she wants to tell. “My body has changed a lot. I was assigned male at birth, and lived as a man until I was in my twenties. My center of balance is different. My muscles are different. I need to train
this
body all over again if I want to really compete.”

He stares blankly at her for a moment, then nods. “Yeah. I can see how that would . . . I’m sorry . . . I pried for real personal info, didn’t I?”

She shrugs. “No biggie.”

He smiles at her, and I feel something in me relax. Relief—not that I thought he’d freak out, but I’ve seen all kinds of reactions to people learning Tina is trans, and some of them were ugly. His is reassuring. One more assurance he’s the guy I think he is. One more realization that for all his youth, he’s much more of a grown-up than I ever was at his age.

“Okay, so tell me who I need to watch. Who are the superstars? Underdogs?” He gestures toward the competition area.

“You really want to watch Dave’s little brother, Ridley,” Tina says. “The kid is insane. He’ll ride in the pro group. In the advanced group, keep an eye on Ridley’s friend Caden. I don’t know anyone in the intermediate or beginner groups, but those two guys are the big local attraction this year.”

I close my eyes and soak up the sunshine as she explains the way the tournament works. Occasionally I take in snippets of Ben’s banter with his co-emcee this year, and I try not to laugh at the way he’s deliberately masking his accent. Somehow, I doze off, only startling awake when something cold drips on my belly.

“Beer?” Max holds the bottle out to me. I glance at my watch. We’ll be here for hours yet. I nod, and he twists the cap off for me, then hands one to his brother.

“Who’s winning?” I ask, winking at Tina.

“An eight-year-old kid won the beginner group. Jesus. They get younger every year.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know the guy who won the intermediate group. Oh, hey, advanced group is up next.”

I take a long pull on my beer, and tug Wish closer. He lets me drag him into a kiss, then gives me a nip of teeth on my lip.

“Gonna start calling you ‘Sleeping Beauty,’” he teases. “I can’t believe you can sleep with all this noise around you.”

I snort. “It’s the sunshine, and rocking on the water. It’s like a drug.”

To prove my point, I close my eyes again, but he presses his cold beer against my side, and I yelp and sit up straight.

“Sadist,” I grumble, wiping my ribs with his discarded T-shirt.

“It’s why you love me.” He shrugs, then touches the beer to my chest, right over my heart.

Love
. Is that what I feel for him? This giddy affection, this spiral of lust and comfort, tempered by longing and fear? If it’s love, and I have a sneaking suspicion it’s starting to be, it isn’t because he’s a sadist. Sure, that’s
nice
and really
convenient
, but it’s not what makes my breath catch when I see him.

“No.” I grab the bottle and look him straight in the eye. “It really isn’t.”

The teasing smile on his face softens, and he leans in and kisses me, a sensual assault of tenderness and roughness together that ramps me up. I pull back and duck my head, suddenly conscious of our families all here in the boat with us.

“It’s not why for me, either,” he says in a whisper so quiet, I’d think I imagined it, but then his arm comes around my shoulders and he points with his other hand toward the competition. “Let’s watch.”

That evening, we say good-bye to our families and Tina at the docks, exchanging sunscreen-laced hugs and heartfelt “See ya later”s. But I’m itching to get Wish alone.

“Did you mean it, about sleeping out on the water?” I ask.

“Can we? I don’t have a change of clothes, but maybe we can swing by your house from the lakeside?”

“Or we can dock up there in the morning.” I untie us and gesture for him to take the wheel as I tuck the ropes away. “We can anchor over by the park campgrounds. It’s quiet out there at night, even on a holiday weekend. Or we can anchor by my place, in case we change our minds about that tiny bed.”

“The park sounds really nice. Tiny bed means sleeping closer to you.”

He makes me smile, a completely wild, unself-conscious smile. And he has no idea what a gift he gives me every time. I’m a guy who calculates each emotion I let cross my face. But tonight, with him, I don’t care if he sees my feelings as they happen. I’m not afraid, or trying to jockey for position. I’m here, with him, and free.

“You should smile like that more often,” he says, slowing us to a stop. “I don’t know where the park is; you’ll have to drive.”

But he doesn’t move out of the captain’s chair, so I sit on his lap.

He wraps an arm around my waist and widens his legs to cradle me comfortably. “So, S-Class. We need to talk about this.” He runs a finger over the bite mark on my shoulder, drawing a shiver from me.

“What about it?”

“I broke the skin. There was blood.”

I shrug. “I told you, it was hot. It didn’t bother me.”

“I got that. But if our play is getting rough like—I mean, if there’s blood involved—we should talk about precautions.”

Oh.
Oh
.

“I’ve tested negative for everything you can possibly be tested for. As far as I know, that bit of blood you tasted is harmless.”

“Okay, I’m negative too. I mean, I haven’t had sex without a condom since I moved here, and I tested negative at my last physical. I had Tommy’s blood all over me on Monday, so I should probably get tested again, but after . . .”

“Are you asking if we can start barebacking?” I tease, glancing at him over my shoulder.

He blushes. “I’m asking if we’re monogamous.”

I let go of the wheel with one hand and grip his hand in my own. “I haven’t been seeing anyone else since the day I ran my car off the highway. I’m all yours if that’s what you want.”

“It’s what I want.” He presses a kiss onto my shoulder, then bites softly. “It’s definitely what I want. Is it what you want?”

I lay my head back against his shoulder as I steer us into the wide cove where the campground sits. A few fires dot the shoreline, and the beach is crowded, but I choose an anchorage far enough away that only the loudest shouts reach our ears. We slow to a stop, and I turn so I can look him in the eye while I say it.

“I want you. And I want you to be happy. If you want us to be monogamous, I’m all for it. If you wanted to play with someone else, say at Keith’s? I’d want to talk about it first, and I’d expect you to be safe. But I’m okay with letting you set the boundaries here.”

“What if you wanted to play with someone else? Like that night with Keith?” He tenses, his blue eyes dark in the fading sunlight.