Roxy's Baby (3 page)

Roxy blushed, but Doreen didn't seem to notice. She hardly paused. ‘I ran away too, long time ago. Now I work here. Trouble at home?'

Roxy didn't answer her and Doreen shrugged. ‘Tell
me to mind my own business. I'm so nosy it's unbelievable. I'm always getting into trouble for it.'

Roxy said softly. ‘Aye, trouble at home. That sums it up.'

‘From Scotland, are you? Well, so far there's been nothing on the telly about you, so have you just left home? Just a couple of days ago, eh?'

She is right, Roxy thought, she is nosy. She was glad that only a few moments later a woman stepped into the hallway. Roxy recognised her right away as the woman in the article, Jessica Jones. She was thinner than she'd looked in the photograph and her grey hair was untidy and pulled back with clips. She put her briefcase on the hall table and stared at Roxy. She did not at that moment look like a woman who was going to welcome her with open arms.

Doreen immediately began telling all. ‘She's from Scotland, Mrs Jones, she's just run away. Trouble at home, she says. Young, isn't she?'

Mrs Jones silenced Doreen with the merest lift of her eyebrow. Then she turned back to Roxy. ‘You read the article in that magazine, didn't you?' She didn't wait for Roxy's answer. Jessica Jones pursed her lips in annoyance. ‘I knew I should never have agreed to that
interview. Since that article I have been inundated with silly girls who have one quarrel with their parents and decide to run. And where do they run …? Here!'

‘I've not just had one quarrel with her …' Roxy began to say, but her voice broke in a sob. Maybe it was the sob that made Jessica Jones's eyes soften, the line of her jaw become less hard.

‘I'm sorry. I'm not usually this judgemental. Did you come down on the night bus?'

Roxy nodded.

‘Then I think before we have a really good talk you need a good sleep in a comfortable bed.' She turned to Doreen. ‘Get a bed ready upstairs. I'll have a cup of tea with … what is your name?'

Roxy almost told her, held back at the last minute. ‘Ro — Rosemary,' she muttered.

Doreen didn't want to leave them. She fumbled with the flowers as Mrs Jones led Roxy into another room. She closed the door before she said a word. ‘Try not to tell Doreen too much of your business, Rosemary.' She sat on the sofa and motioned Roxy to sit beside her. ‘Now, why exactly did you leave home?'

Roxy thought about what to tell her. If this woman was going to give her the chance to stay then she couldn't
tell her the truth, not all of it. ‘Trouble at home,' she said.

‘Lots of girls have trouble at home, they don't run away. Your parents – your mother and father – they'll be worried about you.'

Roxy shook her head. ‘No. They won't. They don't want me any more.' She looked straight at Jessica. ‘Anyway, my father's dead. I have a stepfather now.' She let the implication of that sink in. They were bad to her.
He
was bad to her.

Jessica nodded very slowly as if she was mulling that over. ‘Have they been violent towards you? Have the police ever been involved?'

Roxy shrugged. ‘No. Not the police. But I can't stay there any more. And I can't go back. You won't make me, will you?'

It took a long time for Jessica to answer. ‘I would never make you go back. But since that interview, this is the first place the police seem to look for runaways. And if they come to me, I can't lie about you. You must see that.'

Roxy saw her dreams of staying here fading fast. But if she couldn't stay here … where could she go?

‘The article said you always helped, you never tell on anyone.'

‘I believe you're under age,' Jessica said. ‘That makes all the difference. I do help all I can, but I will not break the law. I'm sure you could get something sorted out once the police are involved. They wouldn't make you go back either.'

Roxy drew in a deep breath at the mention of the police again. Anything but that. ‘You're going to tell them I'm here?'

Jessica said nothing for a moment, till Roxy asked her again.

‘I'm sorry, Rosemary, but if the police are looking for a runaway under-age girl I couldn't possibly not inform them you're here.'

Roxy had to know at least that she was safe here for the present. ‘Please don't tell them about me now. Not today. At least give me until tomorrow.'

Finally, Jessica smiled, her pale thin lips drawing back and tightening her skin. She looks as if she's had a lot of worries, Roxy thought.

‘I'll wait till tomorrow, I promise that. I want you to rest without worrying about that at least.'

It was as much as she could ask for. Roxy sank back on the sofa. She was suddenly very tired.

Jessica took her arm gently. ‘Do you really want
some tea?'

Roxy shook her head, told her about breakfast at the cafe. Jessica nodded. ‘Then I think you should get to bed now. You're tired. Sleep, Rosemary, that's what you need.'

Roxy was sure she would never sleep again, not till she knew she was safe. ‘You promise you won't tell anyone I'm here. Not yet.'

Jessica smiled again. It seemed sincere, but Roxy had never trusted sincere smiles. ‘Sleep, Rosemary. We'll talk when you wake up. But for the moment you have my word that no one will know you're here.'

It was dark and the house was quiet when Roxy woke up, and for a moment she was totally disorientated. She felt as if she had been asleep for hours. Where was she? She expected to open her eyes and see Jennifer asleep in the bed across from her. But it wasn't Jennifer who lay there. It was the girl, Doreen, letting out gentle snores.

What was she doing here in this house, with strangers? Why wasn't she at home with her mother and her sister? Safe. Secure. She imagined she could hear her mother rattling about in the kitchen, almost picture her with a towel wrapped around her head, just out of the shower, fixing breakfast for them before drying her hair.

One phone call, and they would surely come for her. I could be there now, Roxy thought. Why don't I just go home?

In that instant, almost as if she was being told the
answer, her stomach began to heave. She sat up, desperately trying to remember where the bathroom was in this strange house, hoping she could make it in time. She jumped out of bed and ran for the door.

When Roxy stumbled back into the bedroom Doreen was awake, sitting up in bed, waiting for her.

‘You all right?' she asked.

Roxy slipped back into bed before she answered her. ‘Fine.' She pulled the covers up to her chin, shivering. She just wanted to sleep again now.

Doreen lay back down, resting her head on her hand. She still watched her intently. ‘You're going to have a baby, aren't you? Know the signs.'

Roxy peered at her in the darkness. Could she trust her? ‘You won't tell on me, will you?'

Doreen muffled a giggle. ‘You won't be able to keep it a secret for long.'

That was true. Time was against her. ‘That woman, that Jessica, she'll help me, won't she?'

Doreen hesitated. Roxy could make out her eyes now, her face. Doreen was thinking hard. ‘She's really nice, Jessica, don't get me wrong. But she will send you back. You're under age, you see, and you're pregnant. Of course she's going to inform the authorities. She
won't think she's got a choice. She's a typical do-gooder. They do good, but only up to a point.'

Roxy felt like crying. She'd come all this way and she was no further forward. She'd be sent back, like an unwanted package. Perhaps Jessica Jones had lied to her and had already phoned the police and they were on their way, wailing towards her in police cars, on trains, in planes, hurrying to get her.

‘I won't go back,' she said, almost to herself. ‘I can't go back.' Yet now it seemed she didn't have anywhere else to go.

Doreen got up from her bed and crossed to Roxy's. She sat beside her and clasped both her hands. ‘I don't know if I should tell you this …'

‘Tell me what?'

Doreen hesitated. ‘Maybe I know people who can really help you.' Her voice was almost a whisper, as if she was afraid someone might be listening. ‘People who definitely won't send you back. I know that for a fact. Real do-gooders. They've helped lots of girls in your situation.'

‘Who are they? How can I find them?' Roxy was suddenly desperate to get away from this house, sure that at any moment, her mother, Jennifer and Paul
could come charging up the stairs, accusing her of hurting them, being selfish, not caring about anyone but herself. Then it would begin all over again. Only worse this time because of what she carried inside her.

‘Can you get in touch with them?' she asked Doreen.

Doreen put an arm round her shoulders. ‘Don't look so worried. I'll contact them.'

‘Today,' Roxy said. ‘It has to be today.'

Doreen didn't disagree with that. ‘I know.'

Roxy lay down and tried to sleep again, but it was impossible. She was enveloped in fear. She had thought she could feel safe here, but she didn't. If anything, she was more afraid. Why had she believed that stupid article? She would have been safer going anywhere but here. When Jennifer Jones informed the police, her family would know she was in London. They would find her. But now, she had hope again. These people Doreen knew, she prayed they would be able to help her.

She managed to fall asleep again, but as soon as she heard sounds coming from downstairs she was up and dressed. She shook Doreen. ‘When are you going to phone them?'

Doreen opened one bleary eye. It was as if she was trying to remember, then she smiled. ‘Soon as I'm up. I promise.'

Then she stretched and closed her eyes again. ‘Just give me another hour.'

Roxy went downstairs. So far she had seen no one else in this house. It had been quiet when she arrived and here, in the early morning sunshine, apart from the noises coming from the kitchen, it was still quiet. She had slept for a long time.

There was a delicious smell of hot bread wafting towards her and Roxy suddenly remembered just how hungry she was. Eating for two, a voice murmured. She imagined the baby inside her for the first time, a real person. Calling out for food. ‘Feed me!'

She scratched out the thought. It was impossible that she, Roxy, had a living, growing baby inside her. She still couldn't take that in.

‘You certainly slept well.' It was Jessica, standing at the living-room doors, watching her as she came downstairs. Roxy nodded her answer. ‘That's obviously what you needed,' Jessica said.

Jessica Jones was wearing a long cream cardigan and a long cream skirt today. Colour coordinated, Roxy
thought. It all blended in with her long cream face.

‘We didn't wake you last night. You were in such a deep sleep. You must be starving now.'

Roxy breathed in the heavenly smell of the hot bread. She nodded.

Jessica took her arm and led her through the house and into the dining room. There was a long table with a motley assortment of chairs and benches.

‘You sit there,' Jessica said. ‘I'll get us some breakfast.'

Roxy wolfed down the freshly made bread and hot tea. Nothing had ever tasted so good. She just hoped she didn't spoil things and spew it all up again.

Jessica was watching her closely.

‘I'm sixteen, you know.' Roxy tried to say it with assurance, as if even she believed it was the truth.

She didn't fool Jessica Jones. ‘More like fourteen, Rosemary. Though I'm sure Rosemary isn't your real name either.'

‘I'm not going back. You don't know how bad they were to me.'

Did she feel guilty telling such lies? No. Not if it was going to save her from being sent back.

‘The authorities won't send you home without
checking things out. Under those circumstances, they'll look into all your accusations.'

Roxy snapped at her. ‘That's what they always say. They'll look into it. Then they just leave me there … and it all starts again.'

What would start again, she wondered? But already, Roxy was imagining an alternative truth where she'd been slapped and beaten and abused. She stared at Jessica. ‘Have you told them I'm here yet?'

‘Not yet,' Jessica said. ‘I told you I wouldn't, didn't I? But I will have to soon. You're too young. It's dangerous on the streets.'

‘It said in that article that you protected girls like me. You wouldn't tell on them. It was all lies.' Roxy couldn't keep the disappointment out of her voice.

Jessica shook her head. ‘I do protect girls like you. I give you a place to sleep, I try to help you get somewhere to live, and work, find out all the benefits you're entitled to. But you're under age, and I can't take the responsibility for leaving you in London alone.'

Roxy saw all her dreams of staying here fading. Her only hope now was Doreen and these people she knew. ‘What are you going to do now?'

‘I'll speak on your behalf, I promise.' ‘Just give me another day,' Roxy said, standing up. ‘Before you do anything. That's not too much to ask, is it?'

Jessica stood up too. She tried to hug her, but Roxy stepped back, embarrassed.

‘What if we go to the police together, Rosemary? In the afternoon. It's better getting it over with.'

Roxy said nothing for a moment, then she managed to give her the sweetest smile she could muster. ‘OK,' she said, ‘if you think that's best.'

Her smile was a lie. All the time she was thinking, You old bat, and I thought you'd help me.

The dining room had begun to fill up by this time with girls waking up and coming downstairs for breakfast. No one seemed to notice Roxy. New faces must come and go every day. She supposed that in a way every face was a new face in this house. She scanned the room for a sign of Doreen. Finally, she appeared at the door and Roxy ran to her.