Royal Opposites (23 page)

Joan stared at him. That was so not a good idea. “It’s a nice evening. Let’s talk out here.”

“We need privacy, Joan.” When he lowered his voice like that a shiver ran up and down her spine. Further confirming how bad of an idea it was for her to let him inside.

Of course, that’s why she stepped aside to admit him to her home. This time would be different, she vowed. She would be the one who remained in control. She wouldn’t wait for him to pull away, leaving her dazed and confused.

She took a breath and followed him inside. At the same moment, there was a thump and muffled yelp. She remembered too late she’d been packing up goods for the homeless shelter she’d adopted.

Chapter Twenty-‐-Two

“Stop moving!” Joan commanded.

But it was too late. Tom stumbled over a large pile of soap bars. In the low light, she watched him tumble back and land hard on his rump. There was a squirt and the air was filled with minty freshness. Careful not to step on him, Joan reached for the lamp and flicked on the light. She pressed her hand to her mouth trying to contain her laugh when she saw him sitting in her pile of toothpaste. The tube in the box that had taken the brunt of his weight had exploded and coated the leg of his trousers in a red, green, and white swirl.

Tom looked around him dazed. She could just imagine what he thought of the towering piles of lotions, shampoos, conditioners, styling products, more toothpaste, soap, body wash, and other assorted toiletries.

“Are you alright? I should’ve warned you. I forgot this was out here.”

He wiped at his toothpaste-‐-covered leg in vain then stared up at her. “How does one ‘forget’ they have the inventory of a medium-‐-sized store in one’s living room?”

She shrugged. Her hackles didn’t rise because of the admiration she detected in his tone. But there was something else, too. It reminded her of when they’d been on the run and some brilliant thought had dawned on him. She smiled and squeezed through the remaining piles to the hallway. “I don’t know. I don’t see it anymore, I suppose.” She returned and handed him a roll of paper towels. “Or I could just blame you for showing up here out of the blue.”

She knelt next to him and together, they tried to wipe the toothpaste from his pants, but it wasn’t working. “That seems to be going around these days.”

She frowned and met his gaze. Joan immediately wished she hadn’t. Their faces were so close. Their lips; a mere breath apart.

She was reminded of the kiss she’d been regretting not giving him.

It had kept her up nights wondering what if. She had the opportunity to put an end to her misery. If she just leaned in the tiniest bit...

“I’m getting married in less than two weeks.”

And just like that, the spell was broken. Joan rocked back on her heels like he’d put his hands on her and shoved. Getting married? To whom? Some two-‐-bit princess, she bet. She had to shut down that line of thinking. She was in no position to be jealous.

Hadn’t he already proved his disregard for her when he’d shut her out at the airport?

Joan found a smile. “Congratulations.” She stood and squeezed through the bottles of shampoo to chuck the used towels in the trash can. Joan waited just out of his sight and tried to get herself together. Maybe he still considered them friends and would like her to come to the wedding. Could she handle that? Could she watch another woman marry the man who’d stolen her heart? No.

That was asking way too much. She rehearsed the ‘no’ in her mind.

Joan had yet to come up with a good excuse to go along with the

‘no’, but it would have to do for now.

She returned to the living room to find he’d carefully stood up, but was still dabbing at his ruined pants.

“So, what brings you back here?”

He frowned at her. “Should this be stinging?”

It took Joan a moment to catch up. She checked out his butt and noticed a wet spot traveling up his leg. It, too, smelled minty fresh. She searched the floor and noticed the cracked bottle of mouthwash.

“Get out of your pants.” She reached for his belt buckle without thinking.

He stilled her hand and his gaze softened. “Do you think this is a good idea before we talk?”

“Your behind is about to be on serious fire in a minute. Take them off while I find you something else to wear.”

She pulled out of his grasp and made her way to the bedroom where she had stacks of clothes. Remembering his size from their time together, she dug through the pile of men’s clothing and found him some pants and underwear. It seemed all too intimate. On the road, they’d had no choice. But this was her home.

Tom was going to be pant-‐-less in her home. How in the world would she ever be able to forget about this? Yeah. There was no way she was going to that wedding.

Joan got herself together and made her way back toward the living room. Keeping the mountain of toilet paper she’d stacked between them, she handed him the clothes. He gave her hand a squeeze when he took them.

“Thank you.” She didn’t want to think about the fact he was probably naked from the waist down right then because it was way too tempting to take a peek. “What in the world did I sit in anyway?”

“Mouthwash.”

“You Americans must have the cleanest mouths on the planet if that’s the case.” He startled her by peeking around the toilet paper. “This is much better.”

She ventured back into the same space with him and could barely contain giggle. He appeared so proper from the waist up.

From the waist down, he looked ready to hit the basketball courts.

“Yes, by all means make this more difficult.”

“Make what more difficult?”

“I’m on a mission, here, and I didn’t expect it to start off quite like this.” He gestured toward his ridiculous outfit.

“Yeah, but it’s funny. You gotta admit.” To keep from looking at him, she set about salvaging the products he’d landed in.

The mouthwash had soaked through a couple of the toothpaste boxes, but otherwise, the damage seemed minimal. She’d just keep those tubes for herself.

“So, what’s this mission?” Joan was astounded her tone sounded so even, so calm, when her heart felt like it would burst free from her chest at any moment. She scooted a pile of deodorant to the side and gestured for him to have a seat on the couch. She crouched on an available piece of carpet and waited for him to invite her to the wedding so she could say no then shoo him back out of her life. Easy as pie.

Tom perched on the cushion and cast a wary look at the mountain of blankets next to him. “What is all this stuff?”

“Just the fruits of my labor. What’s this mission you’re on?”

Tom bit his lip and returned his gaze to her. “I didn’t expect things to go quite this way.”

Joan had had it. Things? What things? Tired of being in the dark she exploded, “Well let me make this easier for you. I’m not going to come to your wedding so don’t even bother to ask!”

He stared at her. It was obvious her outburst had caught him off guard. He frowned. “Why not? It’s not such a farfetched idea.

Jai thinks it’ll work. Even my mother is onboard.”

“Your mother? What in the world, Tom? I know you think we’re friends, but that’s just asking far too much. I can’t do it.”

“It’s because we’re friends that I know you can. We can.” He leaned forward on the couch. The abrupt motion caused the blankets to tremble. “Come on, Joan. It’s the one solution that makes sense.”

“Makes sense? To whom? You can’t understand what you’re asking of me. If you did, you wouldn’t have come.” She sprang to her feet needing to pace. It was unfortunate that the stacks of products kept her hemmed in.

He stood, too, and caught her arms. “Believe me. I do understand what I’m asking of you. No one knows better than I the depth of this responsibility. After what we’ve gone through together, this is the only logical step. Anything less would be a mistake.”

“A mistake? No, a mistake would be me traveling all the way to Rafferstonia to watch you marry some other woman. The fact that you came all this way and ask me to confirms what you showed me in the airport. I’m expendable.” She poked him in the chest. “Fine. I can live with that. But it’s not fair for you to come and disrupt the life I’ve been trying to rebuild when I’m going to have to start all over again when you leave.”

She tried to press past him to put a little space between them, but he held fast to her arms. A little smile teased his lips.

“Wait a minute. Am I to understand you’re jealous? Of my bride to be?” “Oh come off it, Tom. Pretending you don’t know how I was starting to feel about you is quite unbecoming and beneath royalty.”

“So you do think I’m hot.” He had the nerve to grin at her.

“I think you’re gonna be dead or at the very least seriously injured if you don’t let go of me.” She tried to free herself from his grasp, but he muscled her closer. Joan wanted to push him away, but it felt far too good to be enveloped in such a cozy full body hug.

“Let me get this straight? You refuse to be an honored guest at my wedding?” His arms tightened around her. “Perhaps you’d prefer concubine?”

Joan’s jaw dropped and she redoubled her efforts to force her way out of his arms. Concubine? The man must have fallen and hit his head on something to even suggest such a thing. She couldn’t understand why he was laughing at her. She knew his laughter was at her expense, she just couldn’t figure what had triggered it. Unless he found the idea of her becoming his sex slave to be so outlandish it was amusing.

Joan narrowed her eyes and stopped struggling. She’d show him outlandish. She ground her hips into his and was startled at the quick response she felt. Startled and a little turned on. Not to mention a little afraid. Still, she wasn’t going to turn back now.

Joan would teach him to laugh at her.

“Concubine, huh? What if I said that sounded more promising than honored guest?”

Tom released her and held her at arm’s length. His eyes darted around her face like he was trying to peer into her soul. He lost his temper. “Forget it. You’re nobody’s concubine. If you don’t agree to come back with me as my bride, I’m afraid you’ll leave me no choice but to marry you in the press. Let’s see how you like it then when reporters are camped out on your doorstep wondering why you’ve abandoned your new husband, the King of Rafferstonia, so fast on the heels of the wedding.”

Joan was speechless. Marry him? She’d heard the rest of his little rant, but her mind had gotten caught on the whole ‘be his bride’ thing. Light bulbs started flashing on in her head. She couldn’t believe them, but there they were anyway.

“Hold on. You came all this way to ask me to marry you?”

She squinted at him. Now that she’d said the words out loud she was sure he would collapse in a fit of hysterical laughter at any moment.

“Well I sure didn’t come here to ask you to be my mistress.”

He glared at her. “I can’t believe you’d even consider that an option.”

“You were laughing at me. I wasn’t about to let you get away with it.”

They stood toe to toe, at an impasse. The two of them seemed to realize at the exact same moment they were arguing over inconsequential matters. Both backed off.

Tom spoke first. “Maybe you better sit down.” He guided her to the spot he’d vacated on the couch then sat at her feet. Joan was still a little too stunned to do more than let him.

“I guess I should just jump in, right?”

“That might clear up any confusion,” she agreed.

He smiled. “True. I came here to ask you to be my queen.”

Her eyes widened. She hadn’t even considered that aspect of the situation. He took her hands in his. “I know it’s a lot to ask. In fact, that’s why I almost didn’t. It’s a big job, but you would be perfect for the role.”

The more he explained, the more her heart sunk. A business arrangement. That’s what this all had been about. A simple business arrangement. He didn’t want to marry her because he was in love with her.

“Perfect, huh?”

He nodded. “I cannot tell you how many women I have interviewed over the last few weeks. I fear I’m driving everyone in the palace quite mad. And Jai’—he’s the one who keeps suggesting you by the way—is probably hoping for assassins so he can duck.”

“So, this was Jai’s idea?” Things just kept getting worse and worse. This whole little scheme hadn’t even originated from Tom.

“He even vetted you without telling me.” Tom grinned. “Of course, that came back perfect, too.”

Joan wanted to cry. Nothing like getting a marriage proposal from the man you loved who saw the whole thing as a smart business arrangement. What should she do? She could say ‘yes’

and become his wife, the queen of Rafferstonia. She’d no longer be an outsider looking in and hoping for a mere mention of him in the press. Or maybe a photo to tide her over.

Or she could say ‘no’ and continue rebuilding the life she’d begun creating here. She loved her coupons and her class, but something was missing. It wasn’t a void to be filled by a minivan and three screaming kids.

“Sure. Why not? I’ll give it a shot.”

He frowned at her less than enthusiastic response. “This isn’t something you just ‘give a shot’, Joan. There’s no turning back. No divorce. Once you’re in, it’s forever. I need to know you’re up to this responsibility.”

“Are you?” she challenged. “This is a business arrangement inside a marriage. Are you expecting me to perform...certain favors?” Joan could feel her face heating, but she pressed on. “After all, you’re a healthy enough guy. Or are you planning to keep a couple concubines about?”

He dropped his gaze and studied the carpet under his knees.

When he looked back at her, she was surprised to see how serious he’d gotten. She had the strongest urge to kiss him until everything was all better. “No concubines. For either of us. Still, you wouldn’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. That’s not to say I wouldn’t mount a rather substantial campaign to seduce you. After all, it would be sheer torture to have the woman I love running about and not be able to touch her.” He took her hands in his. “So I’d have to try, you understand.”

Her heart caught in the uncomfortable position of being elated at hearing that he loved her and breaking for him at the despair she saw in his eyes. “This queen business must be serious stuff if you’re willing to give up so much.”