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Authors: Heather Trudy

Royal Pain in the Ass

BOOK: Royal Pain in the Ass
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This is dedicated with all my love to my mother

My First and Greatest Fan




































Chapter I



ve worked since the month after I turned sixteen.

ve been working my way through college, and I graduate next month.
My only regret is that Mom won

t be there to see it.

She died last spring.
Mom was all the family I had.
Her parents disowned her when she came back from her study abroad program and realized she was pregnant.

ve never met my father.
Hell, I don’
t even know his name.
Thanks to Mom

s life insurance policy I now own the home I grew up in.
I also work.

m a manager in a fast food chain.

s not a great job, the customers usually suck, but most of my crew are pretty decent.
Some of them are pretty awesome.

t get me wrong, I work with idiots, but they

re fun idiots.

Technically, I should have graduated in the spring, but after Mom died, I asked for if I could take an incomplete.
Given the circumstances, I was allowed to take the rest of the semester off to handle my mother’s final expenses and final needs. I finished my exams over the Summer Term.
Luckily for me, all of my professors were really understanding.
Now that

ve finished my exams and officially passed my last college classes, I’ve signed up for graduation, but I don

t know if I want to walk.

don’t really know what I want to do anymore.

ve debated getting my MFA, a masters degree in fine arts.
I double majored in music performance and literature, so maybe continuing in literature.
I really was lacking in motivation.


d finally met my grandparents.
They came to Mom
’s funeral.
They tried to all of a sudden be there for me.
You spend over twenty years ignoring me and your daughter because she had the nerve to fall in love and make a baby.

You come home and your parents tell you to get the hell out and not come back.
Yeah, because I need people like that in my life.
Then something incredible happened.
Something I never would have expected in a million years.
A letter was hand delivered to my door, I had to sign for it and anything.
To my surprise it was addressed as so:


Miss Juliet Anastasia Victoria Benn


I never used my full name.
I didn

t recognize the ornate scrawl.
It was sealed with a wax seal.
Seriously, who does that?
I mean it’s not 1860. I opened it and in the same scrawl that had written my name was this letter.


Dearest Juliet,

My deepest sympathies to hear of the loss of Rose.
She was a treasure, and the world is truly a darker place without her.
I wish I had known she was ill, I would have sent word sooner.
It is my greatest wish that we should meet.
I offer you my personal hospitality at your earliest convenience.
Send word care of return post when you wish to come to my humble home and I will send transportation for you.

Sincerely Yours,

Duke of Eastwick

James Eastgate


I stared at the letter for days.
At first I was laughing, thinking it was all a joke.
Then I began to wonder if it really was.
I didn

t know what to make of it until another letter came for me, one with the same seal as the other letter.



I am wondering if you doubt my intentions.
I need to speak with you.
Please allow me a chance to explain.
There is so much I want to talk to you about, so much I cannot explain with a letter. We need to speak, face to face if possible.


Sincerely Yours,

James Eastgate


I decided to take a chance and I sent a letter back.


Dear Duke of Eastwick

Is that what I should call you?
I have no idea who you are or why you would want to talk to me, but okay.
You knew my mother?
I really have no idea what to say, or write, or whatever.
I guess I could come see you, but where?
And more importantly why?

Juliet Benn


Two weeks later another letter came in the mail.



I am thrilled to hear from you!
I knew your mother many years ago, she was truly a radiant woman.
I am reluctant to say why I wish to see you, as it has yet to be proven.
From what I have found out you are truly like her.
Whenever you are ready I will send a private jet to you.

Sincerely Yours,

James Eastgate


I wrote him a letter saying I had graduation to go to, but I would be willing to come after that.
It gave me a month to get everything prepared.
I took a leave of absence from work.
A friend of mine had moved in with her son not too long ago, so I trusted her with my home and my beloved p
Well, he had been a puppy, now he was about 95 pounds of adorable.
My German shepherd, Loki.
I warned her that if anything happened to Loki, even if it wasn

t her fault, that I would kill her.
Then I packed my bags and boarded a plane to England.

I grew up in sunny Florida.

ve never lived more than thirty minutes of the beach, and I had never been out of the country short of my spring break cruise to Mexico my junior year of college.
This was a whole new kind adventure.
I just hoped I was ready for it.

































Chapter II


I stumbled off the plane feeling shaky.
  I hadn

t ever been on a plane before, and apparently I had been through really bad turbulence, though I had nothing to compare it to.
There was a black car waiting for me, I went to grab my bags and saw someone carrying them.

Let me get that,

No, no, really it

s my pleasure.

He offered.
I had to admit I liked his accent.

But I feel bad,

Why, miss?

s my job.”

I cocked my head to the side.
Your job?


m one of Mr. Eastgate
’s servants.

He has servants?

He looked at me like he was wondering if I was joking or not.
I wasn


So, you

like his slave?

Servants and slaves are very different miss!
Servants have been a vital part of British society for hundreds of years.

s a noble profession.

So, you like serving?


I shrugged.
Whatever floats your boat.

He looked at me like I was an idiot

I figured I should probably keep my mouth shut.
I let them lead me to the car and usher me inside.
I watched in silence as the countryside whizzed by.
We were taken to a huge house.

Welcome, to Eastgate Manor.

By the way, what is your name?

Oh, I am Thomas.
He smiled.

I didn

t say it before, but it

s a pleasure to meet you.

I offered my hand.
Thomas smiled and shook it.

The pleasure is all mine.

He assured me, bowing to me.
Allow me to escort you inside.
I was led through the ornate marble fixtures and archways to what I guessed was the main house.

Thomas, who is this?

came a high pitched whine.

I looked behind me to see a beautiful girl.
She had full curves, was tall with impossibly long legs.
Her hair was a pale blonde, I couldn

t tell if it was natural or out of a bottle.
Her eyes were a pretty shade of blue, but they were narrowed into slits.
I had this funny feeling she didn

t like me.

A guest of your father.

You didn

t answer my question.

She snapped.
I felt underdressed in my jeans and an Avenged Sevenfold t-shirt.
I fidgeted with my fedora.
She was wearing a pale blue sundress with a large brimmed white hate and strappy white sandal heels.
Somehow, I had this feeling my dirty converse wouldn

t be accepted here.


m Juliet,

I interrupted, offering my hand.


ve never heard of you.
And why are you dressed like that?

Um, because this is how I dress?

What kind of person dresses like that to meet someone like my father?
Have you no respect?

she sneered
at me
, her voice shrill

BOOK: Royal Pain in the Ass
5.84Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

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