Ruby (13 page)

‘Seems fishy to me that you beg and plead for a day away and it’s the very day something happens. I may be old and decrepit in body but I’m not stupid. I see a lot – far more than your mother, in fact – and when I do venture to the front door I hear things.’

‘Honest, I promise you, Nan, I don’t know anything about what happened to the boys. Cross my heart and hope to die.’ Ruby was starting to feel scared all over again.

‘Ruby, my little precious, never push your luck by saying things like that. I don’t want to know what you’re up to so long as you’re not in trouble.’ Elsie’s expression was serious as she stared at her only granddaughter. ‘And violence never solved anything.’

‘I’m not in trouble, but Ray and Bobbie are, and of course I’m pleased,’ she laughed. ‘I patched them up so now they’re both in my debt and I can do whatever I want!’

Ruby leaned her head back, closed her eyes and thought about what had happened just a couple of hours earlier on the way home. When she had let herself get carried away with Johnnie Riordan in the park, with the moonlight glimmering through the shelter of foliage that hid them from the sight of any passing people. She relived how she had let him kiss her, touch her …

She crossed her arms and hugged her secrets close to herself. Suddenly she felt grown up and in love, and she knew Johnnie felt the same because he had told her.

She smiled happily. Suddenly her future looked a lot brighter and it didn’t matter so much that the Wheatons had let her down; she had Johnnie to look out for her now.

When they’d got back to Walthamstow they decided to take the circuitous route back to Elsmere Road via the alleyways and the park so that they wouldn’t be spotted by anyone. As they strolled through the almost deserted park hand in hand, Ruby just didn’t want to go home; she wanted the moment to last for ever. There was no conversation, but the silence between them was comfortable.

‘Shall we sit for a while?’

‘I need to get back.’

‘I know, but a few more minutes won’t hurt. This is so nice, just you and me and the moon.’

As Johnnie looked at her expectantly so Ruby looked up at the full moon shining overhead and smiled. She sat down on the bench and Johnnie sat beside her. He was so close to her she could feel the warmth of his body through his clothes.

‘I was about to have a cigarette but I’m going to have to do this instead …’ Johnnie leaned round, took her face gently in both hands and kissed her, gently at first and then harder, much harder. Ruby was lost; she knew she should resist and go straight home, but she couldn’t …

Afterwards she was filled with remorse and she hated herself because she’d done exactly what the Wheatons had always warned her not to do. She’d let herself down.

‘I have to go home,’ she said, not looking at him. ‘We shouldn’t have done that. It was wrong.’

‘Oh, Red, don’t say that. I know how I feel about you and I know you feel the same.’

‘Do you love me?’ she asked with tears in her eyes.

‘Of course I do.’

The next morning Ruby stayed in her room until she heard the slamming door that told her the boys had gone to work. She went through to the back, hoping that her mother would still be too distracted to ask any questions about her day in London with Eileen.

‘How’re Ray and Bobbie? I heard them go off to work.’

‘Bobbie’s gone but Ray’s still in bed. The poor boy can barely walk. Bobbie’s going to cover for him if Collins shows up. I don’t know what this country’s coming to when two hard-working boys get battered like that for nothing.’

‘Hmm.’ Ruby was determined to be noncommittal. ‘What do they think happened?’

‘Ray said they were ambushed by a gang of men in Blacksmiths Lane as they closed up. He thinks they were wanting to burgle somewhere and came across the boys working late. He’s so worried they’ll get the blame if anything was nicked so he wants it all hushed up. They don’t want to lose their jobs.’

‘So do they know what was taken?’

Instead of answering, Sarah Blakeley started crying again. ‘Will you go and see how Ray is? You’ll know better than me.’

Ruby was getting really irritated with her mother but she did as she was asked.

She knocked on the bedroom door and went in to find Ray trying to get dressed.

‘You shouldn’t be up. You need to stay in bed.’ she said gently, but he ignored her. ‘Ray, please, get back in bed. If you rest you’ll get better but—’

‘Get out of here, Ruby. You’ve done your duty, like Mum made you. Now leave it.’

Ruby was horrified at how ill he looked, doubled up in pain. Suddenly his suffering wasn’t quite so funny any more.

‘Get back in bed, you idiot. Bobbie’s at work, he’ll sort it all out there. Think how Mum’ll feel if you keel over.’

He looked at her and his face was ashen.

‘What happened, Ray? I mean, what really happened?’

‘We were jumped, that’s it. Random.’

‘I don’t believe you.’

‘I don’t give a monkey’s what you believe, you stupid kid. Get out.’

‘You need to see a doctor, you look really white—’

‘GET OUT.’ As he shouted, so Ray leaned forward and was violently sick all over his feet and the bedside rug.

Ruby said nothing – there was nothing to say – but the idea that Johnnie Riordan could have been behind the attack was no longer amusing.

Regardless, she was in love with him.

‘Ruby! What are you doing here?’ Babs Wheaton exclaimed as she walked up to the back door and saw the bedraggled girl sitting on the doorstep in the pouring rain. ‘Why didn’t you go indoors, you silly girl? You’re drenched.’ But her responsive smile quickly dropped away when she registered Ruby’s distressed expression and the small sodden bag on the step beside her. Babs dumped her shopping baskets on the ground and leaned across the girl to push the unlocked door open.

‘Whatever’s wrong? Oh dear, let’s get you inside and warm you up. You’re soaking wet and you’ll catch your death. I can’t believe you didn’t just let yourself in to get warm …’

With her hair hanging all around her face in rat-tails and her dripping wet cotton frock and cardigan clinging to her body, Ruby looked like a little street urchin. Babs smiled in reassurance and reached out a welcoming hand as Ruby continued to sit stock-still on the step, her shoulders hunched and her arms wrapped tightly around her shaking body. Then after a few moments she put a hand out in response and let Babs pull her up and lead her gently over the familiar threshold straight into the warmth of the kitchen. Despite feeling scared and in the depths of despair, she also felt relief that she was back where she felt safe. She knew she still had to explain the situation, but for the moment she just felt relieved to be back in the place she would always think of as home. She just hoped that Babs and George would continue to let that be.

‘How did you get here?’ Babs asked as she led her over to a fireside chair beside the range and gently made her sit. ‘You should have telephoned. I hate the idea of you travelling alone.’

‘I got the train and bus. It’s taken so long, but I haven’t told Mum and I thought you might tell me not to come if I didn’t ask her first. Johnnie lent me the fare.’ She said it almost as a challenge, but Babs didn’t rise.

‘Of course I would have said you should tell your mother, but I wouldn’t have rejected you, not ever. You know that. Whatever made you think I would?’

‘Last time I came I wasn’t welcome here, and when Ray said you wouldn’t want me any more I thought perhaps he was right: that I was just your good turn for the war …’

‘That’s a lot of piffle and you know it. Now I’m going to make a pot of tea and you can tell me what’s happened. I can see it’s serious.’ Her expression was troubled as she looked closely at Ruby, who wasn’t making any eye contact. ‘Is it Ray? Has he done something to you again? What’s been going on?’

Ruby didn’t answer. She was so scared and embarrassed she just couldn’t think of the words she needed. Instead she sat motionless with her knees together, her hands clenched in her lap, and looked at her feet.

‘All right, you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to – I can see you’re distressed. I’ll do you something to eat and make up the bed in your room and we can talk in the morning.’

Ruby took a deep breath. ‘No, I’ll do it now. It’s nothing Ray’s done – this isn’t his fault – but I’m scared of what he’ll do if he finds out. I’m in such big trouble, Aunty Babs – really, really big trouble – and I don’t know what to do. You’re the only person who can help me.’ She hugged herself even tighter as if for protection, then started to sob quietly.

‘It surely can’t be that bad, dear, and even if it is there’s nothing we can’t deal with, is there? Tell me what’s wrong.’

‘I’m sorry. You’re going to hate me …’ She chewed her lip and looked everywhere except at Babs Wheaton.

‘Go on.’

‘I’m sorry … I think I’m having a baby. I think I’m pregnant and I don’t know what I’m going to do.’

Walking over to the kitchen table, Babs Wheaton leaned on it with both hands and then lowered herself onto a chair. Her eyes opened wide with shock as the words slowly sunk in.

‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t know where else to go. Ray will kill me if he finds out. I’ve left for good, I can’t go back there, and if they find out they won’t want me anyway.’

‘Are you sure about this? Have you been to the doctor yet?’

‘I think I’m sure, but I haven’t been to the doctor. I went to the library and looked it up, and I’ve got the symptoms, and I did … you know, I did do …
IT
. I know how it happens, I just never thought it’d happen the first time, the only time. I promise, it was only once, and when I was at school they said …’

Her words were mumbled and trailed off, and her face was scarlet with embarrassment at having to talk about things like that to the person she loved most, the person whose approval was so vital to her.

‘But you’re only just sixteen. Who is it? Is it that one who brought you up here? Johnnie? Did he take advantage of you?’

Ruby paused. She wondered about lying, about shifting the blame so that she wouldn’t be such a disappointment, but she couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to lie to the woman she truly wished was her mother.

‘It was Johnnie, but he didn’t take advantage of me. He didn’t make me. I really liked him and it just sort of went too far. It was after we left here last time, I was upset and—’ she stopped and searched frantically for the right words. ‘And things happened.’

‘Well, things shouldn’t have happened, and if you’re having a baby then he’s going to have to marry you whether he likes it or not. There’s absolutely no alternative,’ Babs stated angrily. ‘Honestly, he should have known better. You’re just a child. I dread to think what Uncle George will have to say about this.’

‘He’s only nineteen, he just looks older.’

‘That’s still too old even to be courting you, let alone … let alone …’ She couldn’t get the words out. ‘I knew my instincts were right about him. Well, if you’re pregnant he has to marry you!’

Babs Wheaton flitted nervously back and forth across the kitchen as she spoke, her distress evident in her movements.

‘But I don’t want to marry him, I don’t want to marry anyone,’ Ruby said. ‘And I don’t want him to know because then he’ll think he has to.’

‘He
does
have to. An illegitimate baby? It can’t happen. It will ruin your life.’

‘Can I just stay here and then have it adopted after it’s born?’

Babs’ eyes widened. ‘Heavens above, Ruby, that’s a question from out of the blue. This isn’t something I can deal with just like that. But apart from that, I don’t have the authority. You’re under twenty-one and I’m not your mother or even your guardian.’ She smiled sadly. ‘I’ll have to tell George. He needs to know and he’ll know what to do. He’s used to dealing with this sort of thing. He’s going to be so disappointed with you.’

‘I knew you’d help me,’ Ruby said, looking up at Babs.

‘I’m promising nothing, Ruby. This is serious and not something to be dealt with over a mug of cocoa. And anyway, we don’t even know if you are pregnant. So, first things first. Where does your mother think you are?’

Ruby dropped her eyes and didn’t answer so Babs continued, only thinly disguising her concern. ‘You know this is the first place they’ll look. We’ll soon have your brother on the doorstep creating merry hell just for the fun of it. What if they call the police? You’ll have to go home then.’

‘They won’t. I left a note. I said I was going to Manchester with a friend, that I wanted to get away from being a drudge. It was a good letter.’ For the first time Ruby smiled.

‘Ruby, this isn’t funny. I can’t deny I’m disappointed. You’re a clever girl, with everything going for you.’

‘I know, I’m sorry.’ Ruby said.

‘It’s not me you have to apologise to, it’s yourself.’ Babs paused and shook her head. ‘But what’s done is done. I’ll talk to Uncle George later tonight and we’ll go from there. He’s out on a call at the moment so it’s you and me and a big bowl of soup. Just by chance I made your favourite this morning.’

She touched Ruby’s face gently and then ruffled her hair. ‘We’ll sort this out. I don’t know how yet, but we will. I just wish you’d never had to leave here in the first place.’

It was all that was needed for Ruby to jump up and throw herself crying into Babs’ arms. The woman hugged her close, in exactly the same way she had when Ruby had been a ten-year-old scared and lonely evacuee.

Later that night, as she snuggled down in the familiar bedroom, which was exactly the same as the day she had left it all those months before, she thought about what had happened.

Aunty Babs was right; she had let herself down and she should have known better. After five years living in the country and spending time on farms, she knew only too well how babies were conceived, and yet still she’d let it happen. Not only that, she’d given away her virginity on the spur of the moment to someone she didn’t even know very well, and it didn’t matter one iota that she loved him.

For the first time since she was a child she put her hands together and prayed. She prayed the Wheatons would help her, she prayed that she wouldn’t have to tell her mother and she also prayed that they wouldn’t insist on telling Johnnie Riordan.