Ruby's Ghost (7 page)

“You made a to-do list at thirteen?”

“I was in bed for six months with broken legs and a broken pelvis. What else was I going to do but imagine all the things I was going to do when I could walk again?”

He closed his eyes and rubbed his hand over his face. “I hadn’t even thought about rehab.”

“That wasn’t my point.” She took a sip of her rapidly cooling coffee. “You’re awake when you should be asleep, you have a chance to think things through so that when you do wake up you have a plan. You’re in bonus time.”

“Bonus time?”

“Mmm.” She nodded, warming to the idea as she tried to find a positive from all this for him. “You can do whatever you want, plan your to-do list, walk through every house between here and there. Hell, study if you really want.”

“I can’t turn the pages on my books or even turn on a computer.”

“I’ll help.”

He glanced at her and smiled. His blue eyes were so bright with life she wanted to really see him smiling, not just his spirit. She ran her tongue over her lip and his gaze lowered, tracking the motion.

“And if I wanted to kiss you?” His voice lowered, and she was sure her pulse quickened in response.

While she wanted to say,
sure, kiss me
, he’d only just broken up with Ruby and he wasn’t really here. She had to remember that. He could wake up and she’d never see him again. And she did want to see him, in the flesh. “I’d say you’re rebounding.”

“You make me remember what it’s like to be alive.” He placed his hand over his heart. “I can feel it, something more than the dull echo of pain. Maybe a kiss will make me wake up.” He moved closer.

Her heart hammered in her chest; he must be able to hear it. It was rebound and the need to feel alive, that was all, but who was she to deny him the chance to get back to his body? And if it worked? She’d go and see him and find out if he did remember her.

“One kiss, just to see if it will help.”

His fingers went to brush a strand of hair off her face, but she couldn’t feel his touch, only the gentle brush of air. “Scientific research…you’ve never kissed a ghost before.”

“Never.” What would it be like to be kissed by a ghost? She leaned forward slightly, as if he were drawing her closer.

He traced her jaw, leaving a chill in his wake, and a shiver traced down her spine. “What do you feel?”

She swallowed. “Not nothing, but it’s hard to describe, like a feather sweeping over my skin, or a cool breeze on a hot night. You?”

“Warmth. When I’m near you I don’t feel so cold, the ache in my head and shoulder lessens and I feel more like me and less like something that might disintegrate in a strong wind.”

“I won’t let you disintegrate,” she whispered. Then his lips met hers in a kiss that was so light she could have imagined the contact.

A gust of icy air swept around the back of her neck and slapped her cheek. Eloise dropped the cup. It smashed on the concrete steps, the remains of her coffee splashing up her pants. Shelby jumped up and barked, a growl rumbling in the dog’s throat as if she could sense a threat that couldn’t be seen.

“I’m sorry.” She started picking up bits of china. Any excuse not to look at him. What was she doing? He was dying and his recently ex-girlfriend was dead. Wrong. So very wrong. The hair on her neck prickled again, but as before she saw no one. But something was there, a cold shadow that radiated anger, and it made her stomach scrunch up and wrap around her spine.

Shelby sniffed and licked at the spillage. She nudged the dog away with her elbow. The last thing she needed was Shelby cutting her tongue.

“Eloise…” His hand passed through the bits of mug as he tried to help clean up.

“It’s fine.” Eloise picked up the last few pieces. She took a couple of paces, then turned back. None of this was his fault; she was more annoyed with herself for being suckered in. She forced out a breath and remembered her manners. “Come inside.”

The weather looked like it was turning, and she didn’t want him to think she was rude as well as clumsy. Surely if there was another ghost around he’d be able to see it and would have warned her? She gave herself a mental shake. There was nothing there. She was overreacting and on edge.

“You sure you don’t mind me drifting around the house?” he said with another of his beautiful smiles that made her heart melt and take flight. Why couldn’t he be real?

“No.” She was getting used to the idea of having him around.

Tate followed her inside. This time he noticed the way her dark hair caught the light, the way her hips moved as she walked. While he was lying in hospital injured, possibly dying, Eloise was life. Her cheeks were pink from being outside and her eyes were bright. He wanted to reach out and taste the vitality again. When her lips had touched his, he’d felt the heat of her skin. His breath would’ve caught if ghosts could breathe, and for that second he’d been close to life. He looked up at Eloise as she went upstairs. He wanted her. She was the spark that had been missing. The rush of attraction that had been lost with Ruby.

Guilt snaked its way around his heart. He should be thinking about Ruby… And while he was sad, he wasn’t devastated the way he should be. What kind of guy was he? He shouldn’t be thinking of someone else.

He stopped halfway up the stairs. What should he be doing?

Living was out, as he couldn’t get back to his body.

Dying was off the list, as he wanted to live.

Eloise had said he was in bonus time. Time to work out what he wanted and where he was going before he woke up and had to deal with the extent of his injuries.

“What’s wrong?” Eloise turned and looked at him, eyebrows raised.

He smiled, understanding what she’d meant.
Bonus time.
He didn’t have to hide what he was feeling as no one would know except him and Eloise. And when he woke up? Would Eloise still want to see him? He hesitated, not sure if she was being nice out of pity or because she liked him. Did it matter when his future was so uncertain? She watched him, waiting for an answer, her dark eyes gleaming with life. There was no pity there, only attraction tempered with concern. He wanted to feel the rush again and he’d deal with the consequences when he woke up. “Nothing.”

Her lips curved. “How are you with microbiology?”

“I’ve heard of it.” And he knew it was something to do with animals, probably small animals. He’d hated that kind of stuff at school. He was much better at math and how things worked.

“Want to help me study?”

He shrugged. It wasn’t like he had anything else to do, and the idea of spending more time with Eloise was very appealing.

“We could do something else if you’d rather…I don’t know what.”

Neither did he. Besides he was already disrupting her life by being here, and despite her outward calm, befriending a ghost had to be unsettling. “No, you need to study. Besides you can help me when I wake up.” He tried to sound positive, like if he pretended he was going to wake up, it would happen.

But the fear that he would be in a coma and destined to sleep away the rest of his life surged. Panic gripped his chest, and for a moment he struggled to stay in the house and not be dragged back to the accident scene. Eloise was talking, so he focused on her words.

“Sounds like a fair trade.” Eloise grinned. “I’ll hold you to it.”

He hoped she meant that. Although he wasn’t sure how much study he’d get done if she were in his bedroom.

She sat at the desk and got her laptop going again while he stood in the middle of the room, not sure what to do. Being in her room seemed too familiar, too soon, and if he woke up and couldn’t remember her, she would still remember him. Was he setting her up for hurt? That was the last thing he wanted. Had she even considered that? This was getting weirder by the moment.

He sat on the edge of the bed and laced his fingers. The bed had been made, but not neatly. The sheets had been dragged up but not smoothed, and the arm or leg of pajamas hung out the side from under the pillow. His lips curved as he recalled seeing her in the clingy pajamas, her hair messed up from sleeping. He lifted his gaze from the bed to Eloise.

“I want to make sure I remember you.” He couldn’t take the chance that he’d forget. He didn’t want her to remember him as that bastard ghost who’d interrupted her study then buggered off back to his own life. But he also wanted to remember her so he could meet her properly. So he could see if what he felt was real or just a desire to experience life through her while he was in limbo.

She turned around, but there was no smile on her lips this time. “I can’t help you with that.”

He knew that, but that wasn’t what he was trying to say. “You’ll remember me, you’ll remember the kiss, you’ll remember me in your room.” He looked at his hands. They seemed solid to him, the same as they’d always been.

“I know what you’re trying to say. And it’s fine. I’ll friend you on Facebook, and maybe that will be enough of a jolt.”

“And if it’s not?”

She looked away, and he knew in that moment that she’d had similar thoughts. For a moment neither of them spoke. Then she picked up the laptop and sat on the bed with him. “It’s bonus time, right? So maybe I get the same benefit. I can see if I like you enough to find you when you wake up.”

Tate raised his eyebrows. “Like test-driving a boyfriend?”

The sparkle was back in her eyes as she nodded.

“What if I don’t wake up and you want someone with a body?” The thought that he might never wake was pressing closer and closer and sinking its claws in deeper and deeper. This was a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from and the only light was Eloise. He knew if he went too far from her he would become lost in the mist that waited. He was feeling colder. Something was happening to his body but he didn’t know what, only that Eloise could bring him back if he strayed too far. He had to hold on to thoughts of her.

“I think you’re jumping ahead again. I’m still getting to know you—I haven’t even decided if you’re dating material yet.” She rolled onto her stomach with the laptop in front of her.

Tate turned and lay next to her, aware of how close her body was to his, the way her leg should be touching his. He should be able to smell her perfume or shampoo or something, but there was nothing. The same way he’d tasted nothing with the kiss, just a hint of heat and the promise of what could be if he ever got himself back in one piece. He looked at her. “You kissed me.”

Eloise tilted her head, her lips not far from his. “That was your idea.” But the way she looked at him suggested that she thought it had been a very good one.

He nodded, as if considering, then he leaned forward and kissed her again. She didn’t pull away. Her eyes closed, and he cupped her cheek, wanting to feel her skin against his palm. He drew back first, frustrated with the lack of sensation.

“Do you feel anything when I kiss you?” he whispered.

“Not enough.” She glanced at her computer, and he knew he was distracting her. “But enough to know I’d like to try it in person—if you know what I mean.”

“I do.” But he also knew that if he had a body he wouldn’t have the luxury of lying on her bed after only just meeting her. “Okay, let’s talk bacteria.”

“I thought you didn’t know what microbiology was?”

“Lucky guess.” That and looking at the papers on her desk. As she talked about the various definitions and species, a light-headedness crept over him. The room shifted in and out of focus, then dulled at the edges. He closed his eyes and tried to steady himself.

Could a ghost faint?

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t think so.” His stomach turned, and vertigo caused his world to shift and spin. Then nausea brought a crashing wave that sucked the colors out of the world and dumped him somewhere else.

“Eloise?” He put his hand out but there was nothing there to grab. He stumbled, his limbs heavy and numb. He was under anesthesia again, the cold creeping through him and the mist closing around him. More surgery. How badly was he hurt? He turned around slowly, but there was only cold, grey mist. And he was surrounded.

His gut tightened as the mist surged closer as if curious. Tendrils reached out to grab him. Tate twisted away, but he was running out of room. He glanced up, hoping that above him would be clear but there was just more mist. It was disorientating. Shadows moved in the mist like sharks circling prey. What were they waiting for? He was tempted to call out for help, but the shiver down his spine was a warning that no one here was here to help him. They wanted him to join them. To die.

That wasn’t going to happen. The pain in his shoulder became sharper and he held onto it. He breathed it in and let it fill him. The mist retreated a little, but Ruby stepped out of it. She was wearing her high-school prom dress, the slit up the side revealing her thigh. He remembered that dress, but it hadn’t been black, it had been midnight blue.

“I thought you’d like it.” She circled him. Her skin was too white and her lips too dark, as if she was a vampire who’d stepped out of an old film.

He’d talk to her until he was able to leave. “Where am I?”

He turned to keep an eye on her as she moved. Here she was colder and more calculating than she’d ever been in life.

“The in between. Where souls linger between life and death.”

Okay, that kind of made sense. He was already a wandering spirit and being in surgery obviously pushed him closer to the edge. But Ruby was dead. “Why are you here?”

“I’m waiting for you.” She smiled as if her answer should’ve been obvious.

Were all the shadows here waiting for someone or were they ghosts haunting the life they once had? If he died, he didn’t want to be trapped here.

“And if I don’t die?” Would she haunt him forever?

Ruby tilted her head, her eyes cold and dark. “We’re supposed to be together. Of course you’re going to die—it’s why I’m here. To wait for you.”

Tate took a small step back, aware of the mist only a few yards behind him. “I don’t want to die, and we don’t belong together.”

“You wanted us over. I didn’t.”

“It was over long before the party.”