Rule of Three (24 page)

Chris pulled away. “Stop.”

“No.”

“Stop, dammit.” Chris grabbed Dag’s head with two hands and held him away from him. His eyes blazed at him. “All right, damn you, I want this. I want
you
. Fuck.” His eyes dropped closed and he swallowed. “But I can’t do this to Kassidy.”

Dag’s heart plunged. He stared back at Chris.

Chris met his gaze steadily. “I can’t do this…without Kassidy.”

The sound of the door opening alerted Kassidy and she lifted her head, turned her face to the bedroom door. The outside door of the condo clicked shut. It had to be Chris. She pushed herself off the bed, ready to rush out to see him, but she paused. Her stomach tightened and her mouth went dry. She swallowed, took a long breath, no idea what she was about to face.

She stood and wiped her palms on the knee-length shorts she wore, then lifted her chin and walked out of the bedroom. In the living room she came face-to-face with Chris…and Dag.

She stared at them, eyes moving back and forth between them. They stood side by side, both big and gorgeous, Dag’s silky dark hair hanging over those wicked dark eyes, Chris’s short golden-brown hair all mussed and his suit wrinkled. She blinked.

“Hi, honey, I’m home,” he said, one corner of his mouth lifting.

A smile trembled on her lips. “I see that.”

“I went to see Dag.”

“I see that too.”

She shivered and curled her fingers into her palms.

“Kassidy.” Dag’s voice stroked over her, his eyes warmed her. She held his gaze. She was still so afraid. Maybe he saw the fear in her eyes, as his eyebrows drew down and his smile faded. “Hey. What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” She almost choked on the words. “What’s wrong?”

“I mean, you look terrified.” He took a step toward her, his frown deepening. “Don’t be afraid.”

Was he crazy? Her life was being ripped apart and he told her not to be afraid? She just shook her head.

“Hey. We better talk. Let’s sit down.”

She let him take her hand and lead her on shaky legs to the couch where he sat on one side of her and Chris sat on the other, after tossing his suit jacket onto a chair and loosening his tie.

She couldn’t get her throat to work, couldn’t speak as she waited for them to tell her what was going on. She wanted to appear light and nonchalant about it all, but everything inside her shivered and shook.

“Do you really love us both, Kassidy?” Chris spoke first.

She turned to him with a glare. She glanced at Dag. “Um…”

Chris took her hand in both of his, his big, warm hands playing with her fingers, stroking over the back of her knuckles. “You said you cared about Dag.”

She shot Dag another glance. She really didn’t want to spill her guts like this right off the hop without knowing what had happened between them. Putting herself out there, making herself more vulnerable than she already was, was not what she wanted to do just then.

Dag took her other hand. “Kassidy. Look at me.”

She met his eyes.

“I’m falling in love with you,” he said.

Her heart stopped beating, then started again in painful, unsteady beats. She heard it in her ears; that was all she heard. How could that be? Only yesterday, he’d told her he was in love with Chris.

“I told you I love Chris,” he continued as if recognizing her confusion, fingers moving over hers. “But I didn’t tell you how I felt about you. That these weeks with you…have been special. Your sweetness and caring and generosity
–
your acceptance of me, just like Chris
–
you’ve pulled me in. Just like Chris.” A small smile touched his lips. “Both of us. When I told Chris I loved you, I thought he was going to punch me again.”

“Again?” She eyed the purplish mark on Chris’s chin. “Looks like he’s the one who got punched.”

“Yeah. We both landed a couple.”

“Oh, you guys.” She blew out a breath.

“We’re fine. Anyway…”

“You have to tell me more,” she whispered. “Please. I can’t do this.”

They told her more. They told her everything. They told her what she never dared hope or dream she’d hear.

“Doesn’t it kind of make sense?” Dag asked, his fingers moving over hers. “That if Chris loves you, and I love Chris, that maybe I could love you too? We’ve always been attracted to the same girls…”

“So you both slept with them,” she finished dryly. “Most guys would fight over a girl you both like. You two just share her.”

A smile tugged at Chris’s lips. “Well yeah. Isn’t that better?”

She shook her head, trying not to smile back at him, and failing. At one time that idea would have shocked her to her core. Now she just accepted it.

“We love you, Kass. And we…I…” Dag shot Chris a faint smile. “I love Chris and maybe one day he’ll love me too, but for now…we both want the three of us to be together.”

Her heart expanded and softened in her chest, her world brightening, surrounding her with brilliant light and vivid colors. “Really?”

Dag nodded.

She turned to Chris, her question in her eyes and as usual he read it. “Yes. Really.”

She held his gaze long and steady. “Chris…”

He clutched her hand, raised it to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “I want it, Kass. I want…both of you.”

She sat there for a long moment, everything rolling around in her mind, trying to reconcile it all and make it make sense. She was afraid to hope, because she knew she didn’t deserve what they were offering her. “I don’t know if I can do this,” she finally said.

They both looked back at her with carefully controlled expressions.

“Why not, Kassidy?” Dag asked.

“Everything was such a mess. I should never have done this. I’m not…I wanted adventure, I wanted to be wild and crazy and wicked. Like you. Like Hailey. But I’m not meant for that. I just wanted to be a little bit bad, but people got hurt and now I don’t want to be bad…” Her voice trailed off as her throat closed up, hurting, and she couldn’t talk anymore.

“Kassidy.” Dag lifted her chin and made her look at him. He swam in her vision, swimming in tears. “What we did…that doesn’t make you a bad person.”

She stared back at him, her throat aching painfully.

“You did it out of love. Didn’t you?”

Yes. God, yes.
She’d even tried to tell Hailey that once. She gave a small nod.

“Some people might consider what we did bad. But you never intended to hurt anyone, and you’re not a bad person. You’re the most compassionate, giving, sweetest person I know. You care about your sister even when she’s not all that loveable. You look after your parents. You look after us. That’s why I care about you.”

The tears spilled over, scalding hot. She nodded again, a small sob escaping her, her throat relaxing. “Th-thank you.”

“I know this is…unconventional,” he continued. “But I don’t think more love can ever be a bad thing. Lord knows, I haven’t had a lot of love in my life.”

Oh geez. Now he was squeezing her heart in both fists. She struggled to get her voice under control. “But what does this mean? What are we going to do?”

Dag used his thumbs to wipe her tears away, took her hand again, and then, in a gesture she watched with swelling emotion, he reached and took Chris’s other hand too, two big, masculine hands joined, all of them joined together. In a circle. Her throat ached again, ferociously.

“I don’t know, Kassidy,” he said honestly, their eyes meeting. “This is new to all of us.”

“Are you going to stay here?” She looked at Dag.

His lips quirked. “Here, in Chicago? Or here, in your condo?”

Her gaze moved to Chris’s face. “Did you guys talk about this?”

“Not much,” Chris admitted. “We…wanted you to be part of it.”

“Oh.” Her heart expanded even more. “Please stay,” she whispered to Dag, tightening her fingers on his. “Here. With us.”

Dag held her gaze for a few seconds then dropped his eyes. “We need to talk about that. What that would be like.”

She glanced at Chris. “It would be like it
has
been. The three of us together.”

Dag looked up at her again. “You two are a couple,” he said, his voice low. He looked at Chris then back at her. “I’m not part of that.”

Kassidy’s heart clenched as she understood in a flash how he was feeling and some of her own doubts and fears faded away with her desire to reassure him. “Oh Dag. Apparently we’re not just a couple anymore. We’re a…threesome. All of us.”

He nodded, still looking unsure. She lifted a hand and laid it on his cheek. “Chris told you,” she said softly. “I care about you too, Dag. I don’t understand it myself. I love Chris so much and I don’t want to lose him, but I feel like I’m...” She hesitated. No. No more dancing around it. “I’m in love with you too.”

He covered her hand with his and met her eyes again, uncertainty fading into a blaze of emotion in his eyes. He shifted her hand so he could kiss her palm.

“I know how it feels,” he said hoarsely. “Because I feel the same. Loving two people–it’s kind of crazy.”

“I know. But you just said it. More love can never be a bad thing, right?”

“Right. I just think we need to talk about how this will all work.”

“Okay.” She shifted and sat back on the couch, nestled between them. “Let’s talk.”

“Okay. So I move in here and live with the two of you. What will you tell people?” Dag asked

She nibbled her bottom lip. Good question.

Chris groaned. “We can’t tell people. Jesus.”

Dag shot him a look. “You know I don’t give a shit what people think.”

“Dag, man, think about it,” Chris said. “You may think I worry too much about that, about following the rules, about appearances. But it’s not just me…it’s Kassidy too. We work for a big company, people talk.” He paused. “I can’t jeopardize my job. My career.”

Kassidy could just imagine the grapevine at work going berserk with this kind of story.
Nice little Kassidy Langdon shacked up with two guys…one of the guys is her boyfriend, and the other is her boyfriend’s boyfriend.
And what would they say about Chris? She groaned. “Maybe we just don’t tell them anything. Maybe it’s just our business what happens here in our home.”

The three of them exchanged glances. Dag might be a rebel on the outside, but inside
–
he wanted what everyone wants. And she and Chris
–
well, they weren’t rebels, despite this crazy thing they were contemplating. Would Dag understand that?

“They’ll know Dag’s living here,” Chris said.

“Yes. I don’t intend to hide that. But…” She paused. “We don’t have to explain everything.”

“Think about this,” Dag said quietly. “If one of us was hurt, who would be next of kin? You two have a relationship, even if you’re not married. What am I?”

Kassidy licked her lips, a heavy feeling settling over her as she remembered rushing into the ER when her mom had been hurt. They would only let family in to see her. “I don’t know, Dag. But if something like that happened, I’d tell the truth, if it meant not being able to see you if you were hurt, or look after you.”

He nodded and they both looked at Chris. He grimaced and rubbed his face. She sensed the struggle inside him, how much he wanted this, how much he cared for both her and Dag, and yet how he’d been denying his feelings for Dag for so long, now it was hard to admit them. Chris leveled a look at Dag then tipped his head back.

Kassidy sank her teeth into her bottom lip, slanted a look at Dag who waited too for Chris’s response.

“Oh man,” Chris groaned. “Yeah. I’d do the same.”

Kassidy leaned her head into Chris’s shoulder at his words, feeling a little of the tension ease out of Dag’s body pressed against her other side.

“And think about this,” Dag said. “What about children?”

Her eyes flew open wide. “Well, that’s jumping the gun a little.”

“You guys haven’t talked about that? Marriage? Kids?”

She bit her lip and looked at Chris. Of course she’d thought that moving in together was a prelude to marriage. She loved Chris with all her heart and didn’t want to spend her life with anyone else. Well, anyone but Dag. Oh hell, this did complicate things.

“We haven’t really,” Chris said. “But I know you, Kassidy. I know you want marriage. And kids.”

She slid her gaze back and forth between them then nodded. “Yes. I do.” She didn’
t want to be a mother yet. But some day, she definitely wanted that. She wanted to have Chris’s baby. And her stomach flipped at the realization that–holy shit–she could see herself having Dag’s baby too. She pressed a hand to her stomach and closed her ey
es.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “You’re right, Dag. This is complicated.”

Her mind spun for a moment, trying to envision the future for them. Were they really in this for the long term? Were they really talking about a lifetime commitment and children? How could they raise children in a family like that? Maybe she couldn’t do this. Maybe they were insane for even thinking about it.

But the alternative made her heart hurt and her skin go cold. She opened her eyes. “I don’t know the answers,” she said, voice shaky. “Yes, I want children some day. Are we really talking that far ahead though? Do you guys want kids?”

They both got an identical panicked expression on their faces that maybe should have scared her, but instead amused her and reassured her. She smiled. “You don’t need to look so terrified.”

Dag made a choked noise. “I
am
terrified,” he said. “Fuck. Commitment? The idea of committing to one person has always freaked me out, never mind two. Talking about having kids? Jesus Christ.”

“You brought it up!”

“I know, I know.”

“I don’t mean having a baby tomorrow,” she said. “Okay, look. Chris and I moved in together. We’ve never really talked about the specifics of getting married or having kids. I think…” She met Chris’s eyes. “I think you want kids some day.” He slowly nodded. “But we were willing to make the commitment of living together without knowing that. This isn’t really that different. We take things one step at a time, right?” She turned to Dag.