Runaway Bride (18 page)

"I've never had a tea."

"Really, well, then you need to talk to
your aunt. She has them all the time."

Savannah searched his face, and felt
the heat go up a notch, as she memorized every plane of it. She
wanted to move back to the door, where it was safe, but short of
looking like a real coward, she didn't budge.

"Are you putting me in my
place?"

He pulled to the side of the road and
turned to face her. His eyes took her in, made love to her and his
voice was like velvet when he finally found the words. "Savannah,"
he pulled the back of her head toward him, "I don't want to put you
in your place, honey. I want to take you to my bed, and make love
to you. That's how hungry I am for you. I want you for breakfast,
lunch and supper and breakfast again. Now have I put you in your
place?"

"But...Ben.." she started to
protest.

Then his lips came down on hers,
satiating the hunger between them. He devoured her gently like a
lion that has his supper before him and is in no hurry to enjoy it.
His hands went to cup her breasts and he groaned when she responded
against him.

He pulled his lips from hers with a
force, "I've wanted you from the beginning Savannah. Nothing has
changed that," he whispered near her ear. "But that's all it
is...wanting, you understand. I don't want to mislead
you."

She gasped and sighed at the same time
as her head fell against his arm. "It's not enough to want someone
Ben...." she said as her eyes opened to the fire within
him.

"Yeah," he responded, and started the
truck up again.

The rest of the trip was made in total
silence.

At the restaurant Ben guided her to the
table. Everyone in the restaurant seemed to notice them. He barely
looked at her, and she at him.

Still there was a tension between them
that even a stranger would recognize. If he had wanted to create a
scene between them, it couldn't have been staged better. Had he
done all this to confuse her and set her up for this night? This
wasn't the way it was suppose to go. They were simply having dinner
together, why couldn't they keep it impersonal. She wanted to get
to know this man.

Several of his friends came over to
their table, introduced themselves and smiled at their
misery.

"Well Ben, looks like everyone was all
wrong about you. Seems as though you've been busier than we all
knew." Margaret Howard was saying as she stared at
Savannah.

"It's about time you found a lady. And
isn't she a pretty one."

"You can say that again," Bill Howard
was saying.

Savannah reddened.

"Bringing her to the July celebration,
Ben?" Margaret asked.

"Sure," Ben responded, his smile in
place and his hand reaching for hers.

Holding hands had never been a big deal
to Savannah, but touching Ben in any way was disturbing. Why did he
have to be so different? Why couldn't she accept things like she
had with Chad?

Or had she merely taken Chad's
gentleness for granted?

Her hands were sweating, and her
heartbeat still hadn't returned to normal after his amorous kisses.
She couldn't put them away.

He wanted her!
That realization scared her. Because the truth was, she
wanted him too. But she knew better now. She knew what she wanted
now and knowing it was painful. Wanting to be one with him was not
enough. It never would be.

She'd made a mistake going with Chad so
long and having no idea what she had gotten herself into. But with
Ben it was different. She knew he didn't want marriage, family or
anything she wanted. He only wanted her body, and that just wasn't
enough.

She tried to eat, but it was hard,
eating and swallowing the lump in her throat. How had this happened
to her? How could she sit here so calmly acting the part out and
feeling it at the same time. She had somehow, fallen in love with
Ben Hogg and there was absolutely no hope of getting out of this
unhurt.

After dinner, she was sure he would
take her right home, but he didn't. Instead she found herself
sitting next to him at a drive in theater. "I thought all the
drive-in theaters were torn down, some time ago."

"They were in the big cities, but the
small towns still keep them going." He informed her as he stretched
himself and pushed his hat back on his head.

"I thought we were going home," she
said tightly.

"Well, I figured this might be the last
time we were together, so I thought we should make the most of it.
This should keep everyone from talking now."

She nodded, "Alright. So what kind of
July celebration do you have?"

"Just a rodeo, beauty pageant, fair
grounds kind of thing. Real small town stuff. You will probably be
home by that time."

When she was silent, he glanced over at
her, pulling her closer.

"Put your head on my shoulder, make it
look good. Don't worry, I won't touch you again." he assured
her.

Obviously he could turn things on and
off better than she could. She wanted him to touch her, kiss her,
and take away this misery inside of her.

Instead he talked about the weather,
his job, her photographs, everything except the two of them and
what had transpired earlier, and all at such a close distance,
she'd only have to reach a couple of inches to taste his lips
again.

Strangely though, the tension finally
began to subside and she began to relax. He went for popcorn, and
they shared it, talking about anything and everything, except their
feelings. She learned about his dad who had been a lawman all his
life, and his sister who was going to college this fall. She
learned about his mother who taught him about beauty and
respect.

"Were...you very in love with her?" she
blurted out half way through the movie.

"What?" he whispered, his face nearly
touching hers as he looked into her eyes.

"I said, were you very in love with
her?"

"Who?" his face mirrored the
question.

"You're ex-wife."

For a moment she thought he wasn't
going to answer, but slowly he seemed to unwind.

"I thought I was. But then after a
while, you realize it's your ego hurting, not your heart." He
admitted freely, his eyes going over her as he spoke. "And how
about you, were you madly in love with this...Chad, was
it?"

"Yes...no, I mean, Chad and I grew up
together, lived close and went out regularly for years. Our
families just took it for granted we'd marry. He was a lot of
fun...but not very intense, if you know what I mean."

"Then why were you going to marry
him?"

Savannah rose up, straightened up and
didn't look at Ben. She couldn't. She could see where he might have
gotten the idea she was just like his ex-wife, an
air-head.

"Being with Chad was comfortable. I
liked that feeling. And I guess over time I took it for granted we
would be married. I'll admit it was not a very physical
relationship, but I was content with that till we
married."

Ben straightened too, his muscles
tensing against his shirt, "You're in love with being
married."

Savannah thought about that a moment
and agreed, "I guess I was."

"And you can still want marriage after
what you've been through with this Chad?" he questioned as though
he couldn't quite believe her.

"Well, yes. I guess it's different for
men. It must be. But you see, my sisters are married, have
families. They are both very happy. We have family get-togethers,
and with the kids, there is a lot of us. It's what I've always
wanted."

"Didn't you go to college?"

"As a matter of fact I did. But I'm not
very career minded. I mean I can play the harp like an angel, I
know instinctively a lot about photography and what people want to
see. I even became a real estate agent, it was easy, I'd lived
there all my life, knew most of the properties by heart. But my
heart wasn't in making a career. Especially when my father arranged
it all. I envied my sisters."

He turned to look at her with an
incredulous smirk on his face, "You mean, rather than make lots of
money, you'd rather be sitting at home, waiting for the husband to
get home, mending your kid’s clothes and cooking and cleaning all
day? You can't mean that. You obviously haven't been raised like
that. Why would you want it?"

The very idea of him mocking her made
her anger flare, "Does there have to be a reason? What's so wrong
with that? I admit I never did dishes. We had maids all my life.
But that doesn't make me unprepared for being a good wife and
mother. Why, Aunt Lucy has taught me so much, and I enjoy it
too."

"What's so wrong with that? Your
parents put you through college no doubt? And before you came here
you hadn't even washed a dish before."

"Yes, they put me through college, and
I went to work afterwards, as a real estate agent. I paid every
cent they spent on me back. I knew how easy I had it. I wasn't
trying to break them. And I knew that college was just a benefit of
being a Kingsley."

"And you are wasting it, as though it
doesn't matter. Boy that takes the cake."

Her frown aimed at him, she narrowed in
on him, "A woman can take advantage of her education and have a
family. I planned to do photography assignments during my marriage
too. But basically, being a housewife suits me."

He shook his head, "It
figures."

"What does?"

"You get a college education handed to
you on a silver platter, and you think so little of it, you aren't
interested in using it. It's such a waste, and when I think about
all the other women who would love to go...and
can't...."

"That's not my fault. I can't be blamed
for what other women's lives turn into."

He became silent.

"Was your ex-wife a college
graduate?"

"No," he thundered. "But she wanted to
be. She wanted to marry some man who would put her through college
and make a rich woman out of her."

"If you are so for college, why didn't
you?"

"Because I'm a selfish bastard that
wanted her to stay at home and take care of me, have my kids.
That's why. Now, are you satisfied?"

Savannah shut her mouth. There it was!
Staring her in the face. Ben was still in love with his ex-wife,
and the knowledge hurt more than she could say. The silly thing
was, she would gladly stay home and take care of him and have his
kids. It seemed so useless.

Oh brother! Now she was putting herself
in his ex-wife's shoes. Would she ever learn?

"I think you should take me home, now."
she barely muttered.

"Sure, why not."

They drove in silence, all the way to
her aunt's house. When he pulled into the gravel drive, she started
to open the car door, but he reached over in front of her and held
the handle of the door.

"Wait..."

His voice was low, soft and full of
emotions.

"I think we've said all we need to
say." she started for the door again.

"I'm sorry Savannah. I really am. It's
just that I haven't talked about Maria in a long time, to anyone.
You brought her up and she's been between us, all
night."

"I had no right to pry..." she began
not looking at him.

"You have a right to know a little...at
least. Maria and I were only married a couple of months, that's
true.. It was plain from the beginning that she was miserable. She
wanted more than to sit home and wait for me. She was very bright,
and she could have gone a long ways. Maybe she finally did. Who
knows?"

Savannah relaxed and sank back into the
seat again, then glanced at him, "You haven't seen her."

"No, she remarried a few months after
the divorce and moved away. After that, marriage didn't look so
good to me. Still doesn't. I never lied to you Savannah. I wouldn't
do that. But, dammit, there is a chemistry between us. I feel your
heat, you feel mine. We want each other in the most basic way. I
see no reason why we shouldn't...."

Savannah's eyes rounded on him now, "I
do. I don't want any more mistakes. And in case you don't realize
it, I don't sleep around when the urge hits me. I have a few
standards in my life too, Ben. I want all the things that you keep
telling me, you don't. We don't and can't agree on that. So there
is no use getting involved with you."

There was a silence.

"You're a virgin aren't you?" he
whispered as though someone else might hear.

"Yes." When he didn't say anything she
added, "Maybe you should go back to finding you a once a week
Saturday night date, Ben. You'd be happier."

"Maybe I should," his voice sounded
distant.

"Goodnight, Ben, and goodbye," she said
looking at him one last time.

"Yeah, I'll walk you to your door," he
insisted.