Running Like a Girl (25 page)

Not everyone likes to run with a phone, preferring to be reunited with it post-race. I use mine to monitor my pace and distance, particularly as the mathematics involved get exponentially more complicated, the farther I run. It's the flick of a thumb to check texts and tweets. I didn't realize how valuable it was until I ran the Brighton Half Marathon and one of the mile markers was in the wrong place. While I was trembling with rage as I saw my stats saying I'd run half a marathon while I was a few hundred meters from the finish line, revenge was sweet the next day when a huge proportion of runners complained en masse and the marathon organizers ended up amending everyone's times. This proved to me that, whether it's with a sports watch or an app, you should record your own stats in a public event, rather than relying on timing chips alone. If you don't want the distraction of a phone, you can switch it to airplane mode or simply run with a watch and/or heart rate monitor.

We run, not because we think it is doing us good, but because we enjoy it and cannot help ourselves . . . The more restricted our society and work become, the more necessary it will be to find some outlet for this craving for freedom. No one can say, “You must not run faster than this, or jump higher than that.” The human spirit is indomitable.

—Sir Roger Bannister

T
hat chapter title was a bit of a lie. Increasingly, I am approached by people who want to start running but haven't, as if there is a magic secret they're waiting to be told. There really isn't. As I've been told by every runner I admire, from Paula Radcliffe to my dad, the only secret is that there is none. You just have to start running. That said, here are the ten things I wish I had known when I started. As you'll see, much of it was advice from my father that took a little while to sink in.

1) Lacing up and leaving the house is the hardest moment of any run. You never regret it once you are en route. (Length of time ignored: one year.)

2) Nothing is ever as bad as your first run. No other run will induce that level of fear and pain. There are legions of people who believe that every run will feel like that first time. It never does.

3) Cover your feet in Vaseline each time you run for longer than about fifteen minutes. Not only will it stop blisters—especially if it rains—but it will mean deliciously moisturized feet on your return. (Length of time ignored: two years.)

4) Running in the rain is not perilous but, actually, quite good fun. It proves the adage about there being no such thing as the wrong weather, just the wrong clothing.

5) Don't eat too much before a run. Two bananas and a three-egg omelet are not necessary; that's just more to carry around with you. You are a healthy woman, not an elite athlete, so you have plenty of reserves. (Length of time ignored: three years.)

6) There is an extraordinary market in D-plus-cup sports bras that has clearly employed the skills of some of the world's finest engineers. If you rub Vaseline around your rib cage, you'll be even more comfortable.

7) Don't pay attention to anyone else once you're out there. They are either absorbed by what they are doing or looking on in admiration. If you can't do that, get a cap. (Length of time ignored: two and a half years.)

8) No one cares what you look like when you're running. Ever. Whether it's clean, cool, or baggy. Those first few runs
do
feel as if you're thundering down a catwalk surrounded by sneering
professionals, but that feeling disappears as you realize you just want to be comfortable—and that the rare glance might not be so bad after all.

9) Stop stealing other people's running socks, they don't fit you properly! (Length of time ignored: five years and counting.)

10) You might enjoy it.

T
his book never would have existed if I had never crossed a finish line, so first and most heartfelt thanks must go to those who have been at my side as I did it, particularly my beloved Lottie Lambert, the magnificent Julia Raeside, Nick Brady, and Lila Frei. And of course Sarah Ballard, my immaculate “fragent,” without whom I would have dared to neither run nor write, and with whom I am proud to cross the publication finish line.

The first steps of any book induce exhaustion, exhilaration, wobbly legs, and a terrifying sense that one's bowels could go at any time. So beginning a book
about
those feelings was particularly tricky. Early supporters were invaluable, with their unwavering belief that the book and the exploits it entailed were both possible and worthwhile. Thank you, Damian Barr, Clare Bennett, Grace Dent, Sophie Heawood, Melissa Marshall, Caitlin Moran, Jojo Moyes, David Nicholls, Rachel Roberts, Jessica Ruston, Polly Samson, Craig Taylor, and of course, my ever patient mother and her Olympic-level cheering skills.

Once the project was up and running, I reached its many finish lines only with the incomparable support of a rum collection of characters who were as consistent with their merciless teasing as they were with their steadfast pre-race cooking,
midrace cheering, and post-race consoling skills. Thank you, Courtney Arumugam, Carol Biss, Joanna Ellis, Janey, Urmee Khan, Oli Lambert, Vanessa Langford, Jon Macqueen, Mike Moran, Joel Morris, Sarah Morgan, Kerry and Kieron Moyles, Geri O'Donohoe, Matthew Park, Jack Ruston, Julian Stockton, Jon Taylor, Eva Wiseman, and darling Louis, who provided such inspiration.

I am indebted to several people for their practical advice and for taking me seriously no matter how many childlike turns of phrase, ridiculous procrastination techniques, or ludicrous questions I employed. They are all masters of their professions and have been friends to me when I needed them. Thank you, Anna Barnsley, Kurt Hoyte at Run in Hove, Debs Hughes, Adam Kann, Josie Mitchell, Jay Stephenson-Clarke, Jo Taylor, Tim Weeks, and everyone at beautiful Café Coho in Brighton, where I both started and finished the book.

And thank you to everyone at Scribner and the Zoë Pagnamenta Agency, particularly Shannon Welch, John Glynn, and Zoë Pagnamenta for their consistent support of the book, my writing, and my determination not to have a pink book jacket—as well as their gentle but wise guidance through the U.S. publication process. It has meant an enormous amount.

Alexandra Heminsley
is a journalist, broadcaster, and ghostwriter. She is a regular critic on the BBC
Radio 2 Arts Show,
and appears frequently on UK television and radio. She is a contributing editor to
Elle
UK, and her work appears in the
Times,
the
Sunday Times,
the
Guardian,
the
Independent,
and the
Daily Mail.
She lives in Brighton, England.

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2013018909

ISBN 978-1-4516-9712-4

ISBN 978-1-4516-9717-9 (ebook)