Running Shoes (The Shades of Northwood) (20 page)

Jaye tried, and
nearly succeeded at, a thin smile and counted her fingers off as
she spoke. “Pub. Football. Strip club.”

“I pray for
football.”

“Who do you
pray to? I mean, there’s no-one out there so what’s the point? It’s
not like it’ll make any difference.” Her voice was rising in both
pitch and volume. “She was trying to kill herself you know. I knew
she might try and I decided not to take her seriously.”

“What
happened?” A pause. “I know you probably don’t want to talk about
it but if I’m going to avoid putting my foot in it with Dina in the
future, I have to know.” Talking gently was always a good idea with
emotionally fragile people, so they said. But it was stupid to
avoid the subject altogether.

“We were going
to the out-of-town centre. Shopping. I was waiting for her to
finish in the bathroom before we went when there was this bit of a
crash. She’s always dropping stuff so I thought nothing of it. But
then I noticed everything’s gone quiet and I can’t even hear her
moving about. I shouted and shouted and then I got the door open
and she was just lying there with blood everywhere. The mirror was
all bust into shards and there was water in the sink, like she had
cut her wrists underwater. It’s meant to take the edge of the
pain.”

“God.” It was
not impossible to imagine someone being driven so far into despair
that suicide seemed like a viable option. What
was
impossible to conceive of was having the courage to do it. Knowing
you might never come back…

“I should have
kept a closer eye on her. Dina wanted to leave; she told me she
wanted to go. I thought she wanted to move out. But she slashed her
wrists instead.”

“I won’t tell
you it’s not your fault because I know you won’t believe me.” There
was nothing to be said that didn’t sound like a sound bite from one
of Adams medical dramas. Besides, how could Katie promise that
everything would be fine when hospitals, at least for her, echoed
with lies and stories? “The worst bit’s over.”

Lainy stood at
the double doors, peeling off a pair of latex gloves before coming
over to them. “Well,” she began. “She was in surgery a while. We
found a load of painkillers in her pockets too. Seems like she had
a back-up plan if the bleeding hadn’t worked.”

“Elaine,” Jaye
whined.

“Sorry, I’m
getting ahead of myself. Dina’s okay. Unconscious. Lost a lot more
blood than we could get back in to her. You can go sit with her
though.”

Lainy retreated
back into the recesses of the building. After a few minutes of
stunned silence Jaye stood up and started towards the double doors,
holding Katie’s hand. “You carry on. I need a minute on my
own.”

To be honest,
Katie thought she needed the rest of the week to herself. and even
that might not be enough. Then she got up and followed her friend
through the swinging doors. Being alone meant there was nothing to
do but think, and she really didn’t want to think about anything
right now. But just as she pushed through the doors, she was struck
my an image – memory? – so strong that her breath was whipped away.
There is nothing to see. All there is is a thick blackness and
this sense of moving through the air, of being carried. Doors crash
open and she feels air rush against her bare legs. Some-one shouts
for help. Wheels squeal on a tiled floor and she feels herself
being laid out on a hard board. A tremor rocks through her and
pulls her muscles tight and long, feeling as though invisible ropes
and chains are pulling them, holding them down. The voices calls
for help again and she tries to shout along with it. But even the
muscles in her throat are rebelling. Katie drags her eyes open just
a crack and for just a moment and, she does not know why she
expects this, expects to see green eyes staring back down at her.
Everything will be okay if her green-eyed cowboy is here. But he is
not. Blue eyes, dark with emotion, hang over her. Then her eyes
flutter closed once more and a new voice comes to take her
away.

“Katie?” The
voice was Lainy’s.

“What?” she
asked, not wanting to wake up fully. Sleep was good, sleep was the
only safe place. But her mouth was drier than the Sahara. She had
to wake up to get the cup of water Lainy was holding in front of
her.

“You fainted.
Again. Can you please stop doing that?”

“I’ll try.”
Katie struggled up from the tiny ball she had managed to curl
herself into on one of the cushioned seats. They were in the
waiting room deep in the centre reserved for families and friends
of patients. “This is my least favourite place in town already. Did
you know, I’ve spent more time in hospitals since I’ve been here
than I have in my entire life?”

“We’re number
one for life-changing experiences.”

“You can say
that again.”

“We’re number
one for –“ Lainy started laughing at her own joke and Katie
couldn’t help but join in. She remembered the first night in
Northwood and how Adam and Lainy had made her feel so welcome.
She’d fainted then too.

“This degree of
knackeredness should be illegal. I don’t know how you guys keep up
with us all.”

“Years of
practice,” Lainy grinned. She looked to be n her mid to late
twenties, not that much older than most students, so the years of
practice could not be too numerous. It was quite young, Katie
thought, to be left in charge of a group of hormonal teens. It
wasn’t Katie’s job to question though. “How’s everything going
with… everything?”

The question
was too vague. She could have been asking about anything – probably
was – was likely leaving Katie to interpret the query however she
wanted. Answering it in any meaningful way would have involved
thinking and her thoughts on that today contained many variations
on NO. So she did the only thing she could. She laughed. Laughing,
however forced it was, made things seem better for a few minutes.
“I wish I could tell you Lainy, I really do. So much has gone on
though, and it’s all been so fast, that I haven’t had time to
decide how I feel about any of it.” That made her laugh again, but
it was only a few seconds of giggles this time.

“Adam’s on his
way. He can take you home if you want.”

“No, there are
a few things I need to talk to Dina about. I’ll stay.”

Lainy backed
out of the waiting room and Katie stretched out, not really caring
about the others in the room were watching.

The complete
black has taken her under and after the first few moments of swimmy
half-consciousness, there is nothing. Not even the sensation of her
sluggish, heavy muscles being pressed down or the feeling of moving
on some invisible magic carpet. No, instead, there are footsteps.
At first, Katie thinks it is her green-eyed cowboy come to rescue
her. But it was not him, was it? She had seen blue eyes, had felt
them in her brain somehow, had surrendered to that safe but
straining grip. And the footsteps are running. They get quieter and
maybe the blue eyes are running away; maybe they have given up. But
they have not faded into nothing. The footsteps are still
tip-tapping away on the floor and then they get closer. Katie tries
to will her floating body to move faster, move at all, but brain
and body are not communicating. And then the footsteps are coming
up to her body and before she can shriek or cringe, a voice starts
whispering nonsense words, and a red streak slices across her blank
eyes. She knows what is coming before she can stop it and prays she
will wake before the pain.

Katie woke with
a scream and a start to feel someone peeling back the bandage on
her arm. She looked down to see Dr de Rossa working on the cut,
trying to clean it with a little antiseptic. It seemed quite clean
to Katie and, although it would no doubt lave a life-long scar, it
seemed to have started forming a scab already. “Tell me straight,
doc, am I gonna lose it?” she joked, her brain evidently not as
groggy as the rest of her.

“I must say,
Miss Cartwright, you seem to excel in needing medical treatment.
Maybe you should get a lucky horseshoe.”

“Nah, I’d
probably hit myself in the head with it.”

To that the
doctor said nothing. “Any other injuries or… nuisances?”

“Just a
permanent headache. He’s called Leo. Lives in the next room,” she
quickly added, seeing his panicked expression. Actually, her head
was hurting more than a little now. She reached up and
finger-combed a section of her sleep mussed hair over her eyes,
glad it had mostly fallen out of the scrunchie in her sleep. She
could feel a tiny slice in the skin above her left eye. It was too
well hidden for anyone to notice if they were not looking for it.
“How’s Dina?”

“Could use as
many of her friends as possible.”

“I’m not really
sure that includes me right now.”

“Are you sure
you haven’t had any side effects from the Rohypnol? Anything at
all?”

“That’s why.
She didn’t know what was in it. Could have been anything, could
have been nothing.”

“Excuse me, I
think I might need the beginning of this story.”

“Dina. Spiked.
Me. I heard her talking yesterday and she told Jaye she’d drugged
me. It’s done now and all the sorries in the world can’t change
it,” she said, knowing those words were about to trip off his
tongue. “If you want some good reading, have my medical records
brought up. And police records. It’s all good stuff.”

“Dr de Rossa.”
The PA system crackled as it had when she had rushed in with her
uncle, just as the conversation was becoming uncomfortable. “You’re
needed in reception please.”

“Why would she
do such a thing?”

“Wish I
knew.”

“Are you sure
she admitted it and wasn’t just discussing it?”

“I’m sure. But
I don’t think it was just Dina being mean or anything. She doesn’t
seem like a hateful girl.”

“Dr de Rossa to
reception. Please.” The stocky little man glared up at the speaker
as if it personally was the nuisance, hurriedly stuck the bandage
back in place and scurried off. Katie went around the corner and
stood in the door to Room 4. Lainy had told her to go to Room 4
when she was ready. She hadn’t warned her that this room was set up
like the ones in the hospital dramas. It was the room she had
feared seeing Uncle Billy in. Dina was lying in her bed, looking
fragile under the white sheet, hooked up to beeping monitors and
drips, tubes running into her bandaged arms. She was, however,
looking mostly awake if pale and sickly. She noticed Katie at the
door and beckoned her in, motioning vaguely to an empty seat. The
others had left to get coffee and a change of clothes for Dina and
that meant the two of them would have a few minutes alone.

“How’re you
feeling?”

Dina looked at
the beeping monitor for a long moment. “Like I’m still alive.” The
comment was so flat that it could have been good, bad or just a
statement of fact.

“Why did you do
it, Dina?” Katie decided to take a tip from Lainy and let her
decide what the question was asking.

“I just thought
it’d make everything easier. If I killed myself then I wouldn’t
have to come back and do this. I’m not Jaye. I don’t care what she
says, I’m not like Jaye. Never will be.” Dina tried to push herself
up to a sitting position but it was too much, and she flopped back
down into the pillows. The softness had dulled the edges of sharp
reality. The hospital grade morphine helped too. “She thinks I can
wait for the day I die and then smile about it and be brave and
help others.” She shook her head weakly.

“Should I get a
nurse or something?” Katie wondered out loud. The drugs those tubes
were carrying must have had some side effects because the girl was
talking nonsense.

“I never want
to come back.”

“Okay… But
no-one’s making you.”

“You have no
idea.” Dina closed her eyes and turned her face to the window where
it was getting dark. It was too early for stars to shine but the
sky was cloudless enough that a handful should be visible in the
night sky. Katie thought Dina had fallen back to sleep and was
about to turn and leave when she spoke again. “They’re making me
stay. I don’t know who they are or why they want me but they make
the rules.”

Rules.

There were
always rules.

“I know you
were listening outside the door yesterday. Jaye saw you.”

Katie wanted to
ask how Jaye had seen her outside their room but she had a funny
feeling that would be part of the explanation.

“I didn’t do it
to get you hurt or anything. You have to believe that! I was trying
to find a way to tell you everything. So I put a roofy in your
drink. You ran off and I was going to come after you but when I got
to the track, you were gone. I just wanted to make things okay.”
Tears streaked down her face and one hand itched at the needles in
the back of the other and vice versa. Pain was still a few hours
off but the broken skin felt too hot, too tight for her body. Sweat
popped out on her marble-white, waxy brow. It made Dina look much
more vulnerable than any of the medical equipment.

“So you just
left me God-knows where to be attacked? What did you think was
going to happen?” Getting angry wasn’t getting them anywhere. Katie
knew that – her mother would be nagging her to calm down and be
rationale. She was here now.

“I’m sorry. I’m
so sorry Katie. I never wanted any of this to happen,” she cried.
“I just thought I could tell you everything you need to know and
then you wouldn’t remember any of it in the morning. It was going
to be safer for everyone.”

A nurse came in
and Dina went quiet – Katie thought she recognised the nurse from
the night she had spent in here. The nurse pulled the curtains
across the window, pressed a button on the machine that controlled
pain relief, handed Dina the TV remote and bustled back out with a
disapproving glare at Katie.
You’d better not be tiring my
patient out, missy.