Running the Numbers (17 page)

The imagery made Blake queasy. “That’s not what I’m doing—”

“It is.” Her gray eyes glinted with exasperation. “Look, Blake, I wish the best for you and Amanda. And it’s a good thing you don’t want to repeat old mistakes. But what you’re doing? It’s self-punishment. Stop trying to bandage your past before you wreck your future. Your redemption might not come dressed up in Quinn’s wrapper.”

At that moment, the rod twitched in his hand. Startled, he gripped it with both hands and gaped at Sadie. “I think I have a bite.”

A wicked grin burst onto her face, wiping away their conversation like it had never happened. “Reel! Reel!” she squealed, miming with her hands. “Jerk it back once you feel a solid weight on the other end. It’ll set the hook so it can’t squirm away.”

Blake followed Sadie’s instructions, exhilarated and suddenly warm to his bones. But, in the back of his mind, behind the excitement and hubbub of reeling in his first rainbow trout, his mind snagged on Sadie’s words.

Maybe she was right. Maybe redemption wouldn’t appear in the guise of the one he’d wronged. He surreptitiously watched Sadie grapple with the huge fish he’d yanked from the murky depths of the lake.

Maybe redemption came dressed like his mistake.

* * * *

“Do you want to go or not?” Sadie’s pout told Blake what answer she expected.

But he had plans for dinner with Amanda after work, and asking if he could be late so he could join Sadie on a shopping trip to a sporting goods store seemed like a touchy thing. “I’m not sure.”

She crossed her arms, rolled her eyes, and turned to Kennedy, who leaned against the doorjamb, filing her nails and listening to the conversation like it was a radio program. “You want to go, Ken? I need to re-up my fishing supplies. You can always look at yoga pants or something.”

Kennedy offered Sadie a flat stare and an even flatter smile. “Do I look like I do yoga?”

“You look like you could stand to,” Sadie offered, with a charming grin.

Blake bit back a laugh. How odd would it be to have a friend so close you could say things like that to one another and survive? “You two have a strange friendship.”

Both women looked at him. Their contrasts were many. Sadie was raven-haired, light-eyed, and pale. Kennedy, a golden-curled, emerald-eyed tanning fanatic.

Kennedy spoke first. “Opposites and all that.”

“She’s wrong,” Sadie objected. “Honesty is the root of all happiness.”

Kennedy’s lips pursed. “There’s such a thing as too much honesty.”

Sadie cupped her chin in a thoughtful gesture. “I have to disagree.”

“Exactly. Opposites. As I said.”

All this while they continued to look at Blake and not each other. He couldn’t stop himself from grinning. It was like a bad reality television show. They fought. They made up. They hated each other. They loved each other. They fought some more.

“You two should offer marriage counseling.” He went back to the ledgers on his desk, puzzling over the latest balance sheet. A small blip, something not adding up in bookkeeping. He’d ask Amanda about it tonight at dinner. “As to your kind invitation, Sadie, I’d better take a raincheck. Maybe this weekend? Amanda’s usually down in Alpine—”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence.

Every breath, every sound, every thought was banished when Amanda tore into his office. Her arms swung madly at her sides, and her face was set like he’d never seen it—nostrils flared, her bright green eyes wide and hard, chest heaving.

All of it she aimed right at him. “I don’t date men who sleep around.”

The words hit Blake like a hammer to the face. He involuntarily leaned back and away from her as she loomed over his desk.

She had on a white pantsuit, the upper half a sort of wide-strapped tank top with fat stitches running down either side of the front, and an odd cape-like flap of fabric hanging off her shoulders. It probably looked very chic under normal circumstances, but Blake’s brain immediately went into angel of death territory—all she needed were great wings to sprout from her back and actual fire to spark from her eyes. He didn’t get a chance to ask a question or defend himself.

Amanda reeled toward Sadie.

To her credit, Sadie only looked confused. Apparently, Amanda didn’t strike her as particularly threatening. But then, if Blake had to bet on who’d come out ahead in a rumble, he’d bet every penny he had on Sadie.

Amanda seemed to cool somewhat, as if sensing Sadie wouldn’t be cowed by anger. It only made the words that finally emerged from her mouth all the more piercing. “Don’t worry yourself over the promotion, Sadie. Your name was eliminated from the pool at the last meeting. Just a friendly FYI.” She shot a final nasty glare at Blake and fled his office, little white cape flapping behind her.

He had the sensation of being ripped in two. His body jumped up from his desk, but it took him toward Sadie, not chasing after Amanda, like his brain shouted at him to. Head and heart warred against one another. Following his instinct, Blake stepped toward Sadie.

She stood there near the doorway, her face set in the perfect blankness only shock could inflict. Her eyes stared at nothing, and her mouth hung open slightly, as though she was about to speak. Somehow, Blake knew she wouldn’t, though.

Kennedy recovered first and had a hand on Sadie’s shoulder, gazing worriedly into her empty expression.

Then, common sense stepped in. Reason cleared its throat and asserted itself. If he didn’t go after Amanda, it’d be like waving a giant red flag in front of the entire office. In bold letters, it would read,
I choose Sadie!

He gave Sadie’s arm a perfunctory squeeze as he walked past. Kennedy nodded her understanding.

While Kennedy might approve, Blake couldn’t say the same for his conscience.

It railed against him as he rushed toward the lobby, where Amanda had run. His gut told him to go back, his every instinct telling him to make sure Sadie was okay. The blow Amanda had dealt was a devastating one and, at that moment, Blake couldn’t say what he was going to do when he finally caught up to Amanda.

In theory, he’d approach her calmly and quietly. He’d ask her to explain what he’d done wrong and how he could fix it. He’d apologize and work to make it right, whatever it was. But in the back of his mind, he didn’t think it’d be undeserved if he knocked Amanda down a peg or two. People were entitled to anger but not cruelty.

And what Amanda had done was cruel.

Sadie sat on the hood of Wes’s white Cadillac because she knew it would piss him off. Short of shoving her fist into his face, it was all she had. She might hit him, anyway, given the opportunity. Duncan would understand, especially if Wes gave her a really, really good reason.

Like telling Amanda that Blake and Sadie were making whoopee behind her back.

She didn’t have any proof Wes was behind it, but her gut instincts vouched for it. Amanda flying off the handle wasn’t some random act of PMS. Nor was the shocking news that Sadie wouldn’t be getting the promotion.

Her stomach roiled. She ignored it.

Wes was her concern. Later, she’d deal with her stomach lining as it burned to smoking ruins. Besides, there weren’t enough Tums in the world to fix what was wrong. Wine, though, wine might do the trick. Or make things worse, but at this point, it didn’t matter. Her future was shot full of holes.

And the dickweed walking toward her now was responsible.

Wes’s expression was as black as his name. “Get off my hood before you dent it.”

Sadie ran a hand over the smooth white metal like a game show floor model. “It’d be a shame.” In her right hand, the one hidden from view, she hefted the big, black metal stapler she’d brought along. Her instrument of torture. “Come clean, or I’m going to make your car look like cottage cheese. A whack here, a whack there.” She continued to stroke the hood lovingly with her free hand.

Wes’s expression went from whiny and vexed to arrogantly delighted. “The old rumor mill is a useful thing. How can you blame me, Sadie? I learned the trick from you. Fooled the whole office into thinking our relationship ended because I’m a prick who took advantage of you for a career boost. Sorry, but I felt I owed you one.”

Her energy, fueled by anger, left her abruptly, like water condensing into air.
Poof
. She slid off the hood. She approached him, tapping the stapler against an open palm. “Did Amanda tell you I’m not getting the promotion?”

Wes’s eyebrows snapped together. “I want the job, but I’m not stupid enough to believe Duncan would choose me over you. Amanda said that?”

Sadie sighed. “Yep. Officially, Duncan won’t announce anything till spring. At least now I don’t have to spend the next couple of months trying for no reason.”

Amazingly, something like guilt crossed over Wes’s pointed features. He nibbled on his bottom lip. “All I did was suggest to Reba that you and Blake were alone together an awful lot. Reba’s a gossip machine. It didn’t take but a couple hours for the whisper to find Amanda this morning. By then, it had turned into you and Blake definitely sleeping together behind her back. I only meant to stir up a little drama, Sadie. I’m sorry.”

“Why?” She scoured his face for an answer, annoyed with his apology. She wanted a reply she could sink her claws into; she wanted a fight. A bit of her strength returned. The unfairness made her want to crush him. “Jealousy? How much of me do you want, Wes? You want blood, you want tears? You want me to take you back and pretend you didn’t turn into a possessive freak after what happened?”

His dark eyes turned stony, and he cocked his head. “Is that what we call it now? A thing that happened?”

The prick of tears behind her eyes forced her to blink rapidly to keep them at bay. “This sucks. I don’t want to do this.” She made to step past him, but he caught her arm, gently.

“Sadie, I realize you needed space at the time, and I didn’t give it to you. But when will you accept that what I craved was the opposite? Neither of us gave the other what they needed. I’m not the bad guy. I don’t think there can be a bad guy.”

The words smacked of truth, a truth she’d perhaps denied for a long time. She’d turned away from him and given herself over to grief and then healing. It wasn’t something she could do with an audience. At the same time, Wes had needed someone to go through it with him. Should she have tried harder? Maybe there’d been some middle ground waiting to be discovered had she been less selfish with her pain.

She swallowed. “It’s too late to do anything about it now.”

“Says who?” He let go of her arm but stepped in front of her to block her path. “Not long ago, we were going to have a baby.” His tone held a touch of surprise, as if it was unbelievable. It sort of was. “We were going to start a family. Tragedy can bring people together or tear them apart, and we let it destroy us when it could’ve made us stronger. Closer.”

Sadie stepped back from him. “But that’s
your
way, Wes. I don’t share my pain. It’s mine.”

“Fine.” His face relaxed, and he gave her a small, kind smile that she hated,
hated
to see because it brought back a lot of memories she’d made herself forget. “If you can’t come to me, I’ll come to you. Space is what you need? It’s yours. I’ll just be there when you need me.”

This freaking guy. She squinted at him. “You sabotaged my friendship with Amanda and her relationship with Blake. How can you stand here and speak as if you’re truly expecting a second chance? I don’t need you. I won’t ever need you.”

“Because it’s not a big deal. It’ll blow over. Unless you’re really sleeping with Blake.” He peered at her.

Wouldn’t he love to know. “I’m not. I wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, well…” Wes arched a finely plucked eyebrow. “He would.”

“What the hell do you know, anyway? We aren’t tied to our pasts. He’s trying so hard to move on, but people like you are exactly the reason he’s still beating himself up over a ten-year-old mistake.” The words flung toward Wes as though Sadie had no control over them. She jumped to Blake’s defense with the slightest provocation.

Wes was the one to take a step back this time. “I think your reaction says more about your relationship with Blake than you realize.”

“And I think you’re still an idiot who doesn’t know when to back off.” She turned her back on him, angry with herself for initiating the confrontation. Getting him to take his due credit hadn’t undone the damage. It wouldn’t take away the suspicion from Amanda or anyone else now that it had taken root.

And it definitely wouldn’t get Sadie the job as chief accountant.

* * * *

Sadie wasn’t totally surprised to find Blake on her stoop at nearly ten at night. She opened the door for him to enter. “A little late for a visit.”

“I got away from Amanda as soon as I could.”

Sadie closed the door behind him. “Even I’m tempted to believe we’re intimate when you talk like that.”

He blushed, as she’d expected. “I wanted to check on you. Are you okay? What Amanda did…” He shook his head and began to pace. “What a crappy thing to do. I wish I could tell you she was being a jerk and hadn’t meant it. But I asked Duncan, and he confirmed it.” He stopped pacing and gave her a pointed look. “By the way, I also convinced Amanda we’re just friends. I can’t tell you she isn’t suspicious, but she’ll come around.”

Sadie didn’t care about Amanda. In fact, she had a hard time thinking about her at all. The injustice of her “friend” to not bother with Sadie’s side of the story before attacking her and crushing her entire world was somewhere in unforgivable territory. “They’ll hire Wes. There’s no one else.”

Blake shrugged. “They might bring in someone from the sister office in Alpine.”

Sadie hadn’t thought of that. She hadn’t thought of much. She’d been so certain of her success and Wes’s failure. Still, it was almost too much to hope.

Pity swamped Blake’s face. “Sadie, I’m so sorry. I know how much the promotion meant to you.”

She nodded and kept her thoughts to herself. Did he really know? Did he know her heart was broken? Did he know how deeply the despair ran? Did he realize the extent of the damage?