RunningScaredBN (20 page)

No, it had been with Justin. Just the thought of him caused her heart to squeeze. The expression on his face when they’d left the meeting today hadn’t been difficult to read. He wanted to singlehandedly find both William Larson and Dimitri and kill them. That was a sentiment she shared, but she couldn’t let her anger get in the way of doing her job. Her job sustained her, made Riley Ingram who she was. If she allowed her need for vengeance to take over, then she’d lose herself all over again. They’d taken too much from her already. Damned if she’d let them destroy her a second time.

“Okay. You’ve gone from sad to dreamy-eyed to angry in the matter of a few seconds. Talk to me, Riley.”

 
“I had sex with Justin.”

Anna stumbled, and Riley grabbed her before she could fall down the hill. “Hell’s bells, Riley. Don’t be telling me stuff like that when I’m halfway up a freaking mountain.”
 

Mountain
wasn’t exactly the correct term for the hiking trail, but it was steep enough to work up a nice sweat. She and Anna had hiked it a half-dozen times since she’d moved here.
 

Anna glanced around and, seeing nothing remotely comfortable to sit on, shrugged and plopped down in the middle of the dirt. “Okay, I’m sitting. And now I can calmly say, shut my mother’s freaking front door. Are you kidding me?”

Despite her whirling thoughts, Riley couldn’t help but grin. Anna had a creative way with words.

“No.”

“So, how did it go?”

“Depends on what you mean by the word
it
.”

She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Don’t get vague on me now. I don’t need details.” Grabbing Riley’s hand, she pulled her down to sit beside her. “Just tell me the highlights.”

“It was...” Fabulous. Wonderful. Monumental. None of those insipid words could describe how absolutely phenomenal it had been.

Realizing Anna wouldn’t let it go until she gave an answer, she shrugged. “It was nice.”
 

“No flashbacks?”

“Surprisingly, no. At least not then.”

“What do you mean?”

“I had a nightmare. One of my more vivid ones. When I woke up and felt a body next to me, I freaked.”

“Freaked how?”

Riley closed her eyes in humiliation. “I held a gun on him.”

“Ha. I’ll bet he didn’t even need coffee after that.”

“Did you hear what I said, Anna? I could have killed him.”

“No, you couldn’t. You’re better trained than that.”

She said the words with such confidence that they hit Riley exactly where she needed them. She
was
better trained than to shoot without thought. And it reinforced Justin’s comment that she would never take an unjustified shot.

“Still, no man wants to wake up to a naked woman holding a gun to his head.”

Anna laughed. “Actually, I know a few who might. But that’s beside the point. How did he react?”

A smile tickled at her mouth. “He joked about it. Asked if this was where he was supposed to ask if it wasn’t good for me.”

Anna nodded her approval. “Good for him.” Tilting her head, she said, “So was it?”

“Was it what?”

“Good for you. You used the word
nice
before. Nice is a picnic without ants. Not the way one describes a hot night of sex with a gorgeous LCR operative.”

“It was everything I’ve ever dreamed of. Everything I needed.”

Squealing her glee, she grabbed Riley for a hard hug. “I’m so happy for you. No one deserves it more.”

“Wait. I said the sex was nice. After I pulled the gun on him, it kind of went downhill.”

“I thought you said he was cool with it.”

“He was. I wasn’t.”

“You’re too hard on yourself, as usual. What did you do? Tell him it was over?”

“Basically, yes.”

“Do you trust him?”

“Of course I do.”

“Do you love him?”

“I—”

“This is me, Riley. We’ve never lied to each other. Don’t start now. Do you love him?”

“More than I ever thought possible. And that’s why—”

Anna held up her hand. “I’m not through yet.”

Riley huffed out a breath. “Fine.”

“Do you think he’s a good, decent man?”

“Of course he is.”

“Do you think he cares for you?”

“I know he does.”

“Then why the hell would you not want to be with someone that wonderful? Who, by the way, thinks you’re wonderful, too?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yeah, sometimes it is that simple. Just because some very bad things happened to you doesn’t mean some very good things can’t happen. You’ve got your dream job. You’re finally going to be able to make the people pay who tried to destroy you. And you’ve got a good, strong man in your life.”

“It can’t last.”

“Just because something looks too good to be true, doesn’t mean it is. You’re the furthest thing from a coward I’ve ever known. Don’t be afraid to be happy. Don’t choose misery over happiness. It’s a cold, lonely place.”

Looking out over the untamed landscape before her, Riley absorbed Anna’s words. Was that what she was doing? Choosing to be miserable because she feared happiness?

“Okay.” Anna jumped to her feet. “Let’s finish the trail, and then it’s a double-fudge sundae. My treat.”

“I thought the climb was in place of the sundae.”

“That was the triple. I’ll settle for a double.”

Riley stood and eyed her friend. She’d been so immersed in her own misery that she hadn’t recognized that her friend was hurting, too. And she knew the cause.

“Aidan didn’t mean anything by what he said at the meeting. He’s just concerned for you.”

Anna shrugged and started up the hill again. “Aidan Thorne can go suck a raw rotten egg as far as I’m concerned.”

The animosity between the tough-edged LCR operative and Anna was a surprise to everyone. Every woman at LCR had a slight crush on Aidan Thorne. He was charming, considerate, and gorgeous. But for some reason, he was the exact opposite with Anna.
 

What Noah had said at their meeting was true. He’d offered Anna an LCR position more than once, but she’d always turned him down. What most people didn’t know was that Anna’s rejection of Noah’s job offer had less to do with not wanting to work for LCR and more to do with seeing Aidan Thorne.

Aidan and Anna had known each other for several years. He’d even helped rescue Anna when she’d been kidnapped years ago. But for some reason, every time the two got within a few yards of each other, one or the other ended up saying something or doing something stupid to rile the other one up.

Even though Anna would never admit it, Riley knew her friend had a crush on Aidan. So when he became surly with her, she took it to heart more than she would with anyone else.
 

Reading Aidan Thorne was the same as reading any other LCR operative—difficult to impossible most times. So the real reason Aidan Thorne couldn’t seem to stand Anna Bradford was a mystery to everyone but Aidan. And she wasn’t totally sure Aidan knew for certain himself.

“Come on, Riley,” Anna called from above her. “That ice cream won’t eat itself.”

Standing, Riley pushed the sweaty strands of hair from her face and took in a deep breath. Anna had been right to suggest a hike. If she’d had her way, she would’ve holed up in her apartment and tried to hide from the world. That would have been the wrong thing to do.

Riley Ingram was through hiding.
 

Chapter Eighteen

Knoxville, Tennessee

The small accounting firm, housed in a small office off the interstate, was a cross between shabby chic and upscale contemporary. Designed to look like a moderately successful CPA office, it boasted two full-time accountants, three full-time assistants, and an administrative assistant. No one would suspect that five of the people in the small firm were better trained to annihilate an opponent than assist clients with their tax woes.
 

On one side of the building stood a bakery, on the other side a consignment store. Each business had recently acquired a new employee. If anyone noticed that the new hires spent more time standing at the window or walking the perimeter of the building, no one mentioned it.
 

All three businesses looked moderately successful but were in no way flashy. That was the name of the game for this op. Flashy would attract attention. No one would believe that a young woman hiding from her former life would risk exposure by working in any kind of business where she might be seen or noticed. Working in a small office with minimal exposure to the public was believable, and the cover was easy to set up.

Even though this was the perfect cover, Riley fought an unfamiliar panicky feeling. Not because she feared facing Dimitri or any of his goons. Since she had made up her mind to confront her past, she was ready to make this happen. No, her fear came from something more elemental and disturbing. She felt confined in the small office. Penned in. One of Dimitri’s favorite punishments had been locking her in a small area. When he’d realized how much it freaked her out, he had commissioned a box to be built just for that purpose. And since the sadist believed in getting his money’s worth, she had spent hours in that box. Twice he had left her in there for over twenty-four hours. When she’d been released, she’d been punished and mocked for soiling herself.

“You okay, Riley?”

Hearing her name, Riley jerked herself from the past. Standing before her, compassion in their eyes, were both Anna and McKenna.

“Sorry. I was—”
Was what? Torturing myself with memories?
One of the most important things she’d learned in her therapy was to never allow herself to go back in time and ruminate. The present and all the possibilities of the future should always be her focus. Those practices had sustained her, helped her heal. Damned if she would regress back into a victim.

“You don’t have to explain anything to us.” McKenna reached for her hand. “Been there, done that. Returning to hell, even if it’s just in your mind, is never a pleasant journey.”

With anyone else she might be embarrassed, but not with these two. These women knew her pain better than anyone.

She straightened her shoulders and turned to look around the room. “We should be hearing from Noah soon.”

“He said it could take a few days before anything happens. Right?” Anna said. “He’s just going to dangle the hook a bit?”

Taking a breath to center herself, she nodded. “Yes. Larson’s not going to believe I was found so quickly. Plus, Noah wants to see if the man will reveal information about his…business.”

“We’re prepared for every scenario,” McKenna said.
 

Yes, they were. Two days ago, Riley had endured the minimally painful but still unpleasant implantation of two tracking devices. One was beneath her right armpit, another on the outside of her left thigh. Though she barely felt them now, she was hyperaware of them. Yes, they would help LCR track her if she was taken, but they also added to her feelings of confinement.
 

But acting normal was the name of the game until this op moved to the next phase. If that included staying cooped up inside an office, then so be it.

Maybe what was bothering her more than anything was that she and Justin hadn’t had more than a casual conversation in days. Not really. They had both flown into Knoxville on the LCR plane with everyone else, and then he had disappeared. No one seemed to know where he had gone or why. She would have been totally frustrated if it weren’t for the fact that he’d been sleeping beside her every night. They hadn’t made love since that night in her apartment. She would have been worried that his feelings had changed if not for the fact that they fell asleep in each other’s arms each night. But every morning, for the last three days, he had been gone before she woke up.

When she had questioned him, he’d given her one of his enigmatic smiles, told her not to worry, that he was making plans. He refused to elaborate on what those plans were.

Despite his lack of openness, she had total faith and trust in her partner. But as his lover, she was admittedly on thin ice. Could it be because the first and only time they’d been intimate she had pulled a gun on him afterward? What kind of freak did something like that?
 

The outside door opened, and the man himself walked in. Instead of greeting everyone, he zeroed in on Riley. She swallowed hard. If he had been avoiding talking with her, then that was apparently at an end.

She told herself that was a good thing. If he was having second thoughts about their new relationship, then they needed to have it out. End what never should have started in the first place. Finish this once and for all and go back to what they were before. LCR partners, nothing more.
 

Even as she told herself that, she knew it was a lie. She didn’t want to have that conversation, because she didn’t want it to end. That first night with him had been the best experience of her life. She had found fulfillment and happiness in the arms of Justin Kelly. He was her partner, then her friend, and now her lover. She didn’t want to lose any of them. At the back of her mind, a fleeting, hopeful wisp of a dream was emerging. She wanted permanency, a commitment with this man. For a lifetime.