Rush (Phoenix Rising) (30 page)

“Newsflash, girl,” he said “You’re not persistent. You’re just fucking bossy.”

She crossed her arms, lifted her brows. “What are you going to do about it?”

Quaid’s eyes slid closed and he let out a tired laugh. A laugh. He actually
laughed
. His mouth turned up in a real smile. A smile from the days when he used to be happy. Some of Jessica’s anger evaporated.

She went to him and put her arms around his waist. “You’re not in any condition to be doing this. You need to go back to the bunker.”

Quaid ran a hand down her arm. “No, Jessie.
You
need to go back to the bunker.”

He covered her hand, pried the coin from it and gave her one good push.

Jessica stumbled backwards, fell on her ass and slid on the linoleum. Her vision blurred.
Fizz-pop-sizzle
sounded in her ears. “Damn you, Quaid!”

 

Jessica kept a hand over her eyes as Teague’s heat poured through her head, easing the pressure in her brain and soothing her stomach. She’d been back in the bunker at least twenty minutes and precious time ticked away.

“Cash,” she called without opening her eyes.

“I’m here.” His voice, weak and raspy, drew close from across the room.

“What Quaid does is different from what I do. He’s really there, I’m not. He called it remote travel. What’s the difference?”

“Hell if I know.” Cash coughed, pulled in a breath that made it sound like he was drowning.

Once Cash and Quaid had been poisoned, Alyssa had kept Mateo and Kat down at the end of the long hall of bedrooms with one of Brody’s guys. Jessica was glad Mateo didn’t have to see his dad so sick.

She opened her eyes. Cash’s face was pale and covered with sweat. She pushed Teague’s hands off her head. “Use your energy on him.”

“It’s wasted on him.” Teague sat back and wrapped his arms around upturned knees. “Whatever is happening in his body is too strong for my power.”

“What Quaid was talking about,” Alyssa said, “was the theory of quantum physics. Or at least that’s the theory he was giving for how he traveled.”

Jessica wiped both her hands down her face. She shook her head. “I don’t care what it’s called. I don’t care how it works. I just want to know if one of you ridiculously intelligent people can teach me how to do it.”

“I can . . .” Cash wheezed “. . . explain the concept . . . of quantum physics. . . .”

Alyssa put a hand on Cash’s arm and he stopped speaking, then she turned to Jess. “What makes you think—?”

“If I can get to D.C. from Utah without even trying, I must be able to do what Quaid does with a little training. Even a little understanding. He talked about traveling like an electron. What does that mean?”

“Like an—” Cash frowned. “What the hell?”

They all fell quiet, but Jessica’s mind was working, trying to fight the lingering pressure from her travels while forcing her brain to wind around this bizarre concept.

“Quantum physics,” Cash said, then dragged in a rough breath, “is about how we . . . see our world. Quantum physics says . . . we can view our world . . . through materialism, where . . . everything we know is a solid object. Or through consciousness . . . where everything we know is a possibility.”

He paused, breathing as if he’d hiked an incline and had to catch his breath. “In quantum physics, it is believed we . . . can find a state of consciousness where we take the possibilities . . . from each of our bodies—spirit, emotion and intuition—and convert them into actual events.”

When Cash didn’t go on, Jessica frowned. “I’m more confused than I was before.”

“Quantum physics would say”—he wheezed in air—“that’s because you’re conditioned to . . . see the world from a materialist view. But, according to the theory, the reality is . . . everything is simply a matter of choice, and we choose our own reality.”

Jessica was trying not to let her brain slide sideways. Quaid was a human being. If he could use this altered way of thinking to move his body through space, and she could move her spirit through space, she had to be able to make that leap in her thought process. She had to at least try.

“Kai,” Teague said, “how long to get the plane ready?”

“An hour drive to the plane. Twenty minutes to get her in the air. Another two and a half hours flight time. Another thirty minutes to deplane—”

“We don’t have that kind of time,” she said. “So, how does quantum physics say one gets to this place where one can choose one’s own reality?”

Mitch turned to Kai with one of those can-you-believe-this-shit? looks. “I’m thinking this would be a good time to rev up the plane.”

Kai, looking equally dumbstruck, nodded. “Best idea you’ve had since I met you. I’ll take care of that.”

“On an altered level of consciousness,” Cash rasped, his eyes falling closed. “We can’t reach consciousness from a regular state of being . . . which is where we are now.”

It clicked like a starburst in her brain. “Meditation.”

“That’s a staple of people who . . . practice quantum physics. They believe the ego holds such a tight rein on a person . . . the only way they can get past it . . . is through an altered state of consciousness—meditation, drugs, sleep, coma.... ”

The excitement in Jessica’s stomach turned to fire and burned. Quaid had dreamed of her with other men. But he hadn’t been dreaming. He’d traveled and—“Oh,
God
. That’s how Quaid reached me. He was asleep. I was . . . high.”

Alyssa looked up from wiping Cash’s face with a cool cloth. “Reached you? Where?”

Cash opened his eyes. Their blue depths were exhausted and regretful. “I’m sorry, Jess.”

Loss overwhelmed her. It pushed emotions up her chest and created tears in her eyes. But she squeezed his hand and shook her head. “It just . . . is. He’ll either accept it or he won’t. But he won’t have a choice if he’s dead. So how do I do this?”

“I’d only be guessing,” Cash said.

She heaved a breath and offered her own best guess. “Get into an altered state and then create my own reality?”

Cash coughed, then nodded. “That’s what I’d do.”

Jessica thought about where Quaid would go. If he’d gotten the neutralizer from the facility she’d just visited, he’d have been back already. So after Gorin, he’d have gone in search of . . . Schaeffer.

“Where would Schaeffer be?” She looked at the clock, thought of the day, the date. “Oh . . .” She looked at the clock again. “Shit.”

“What now?” Alyssa asked.

“Schaeffer’s probably headed to the speaker’s dinner.”

“The speaker
of the house
?” Mitch asked.

“Yes. Marc Jester. He throws a huge fall bash every year. Only the
who’s who
are invited. Schaeffer was planning to attend and I was planning to stalk him.”

“There’s going to be a shitload of security.” Mitch walked into the kitchen and pulled a beer from the refrigerator. “And, I swear, if that sonofabitch goes and gets himself taken again because he tries to walk right into that place—”

“He’s smarter than that,” Cash rasped.

“Good, because I’m not particularly in the mood to go pulling his ass out of the next hell hole they throw him into.”

“Alyssa,” Jessica said. “Can you help me? I’m going to try meditation first, but if I can’t get deep enough with that, I might need you to try hypnotherapy. And you’re going to have to teach me how to do it to myself because I’ll have to make a stop before I can get into the party.”

Q
stared through the small glass square at Max Gorin. The man was crowded into a corner of a room barren but for a single metal bench, looking at Q as if he expected him to crash through the door and beat him to death.

“You
should
be scared, Gorin.” Q slammed the door with his open palm again. Sweat slid down his face and chest. His heart beat fast and hard. His head felt light. “You created me. And if you don’t tell me where that neutralizer is, I swear I’ll find a way to get this door open or I’ll gather enough energy to transport in there, and I’ll show you just as much mercy as you’ve shown me over the years.”

“I told Schaeffer to leave you alone.” Gorin’s voice came through the door high and tight. “I’ve been fighting to keep him from hurting you. That’s why I’m in here. You should be grateful—”

Q hauled back and slammed the door with both hands. The metal rattled in its frame. “Grate-ful?
Grate. Ful
?” He had to forcibly unclench his teeth to talk. “I should be
grateful
that you stole my life? That you hurt the people I love? That you took everything that mattered away from me?”

Q looked up and down the hall. He needed something substantial to break the glass on this door. Or something to work the hinges off.

“If you get me out—” Gorin’s thin voice turned his gaze back. “If you get me out, Q, I’ll help you find the neutralizer. I don’t want you to die. We’ve come so far. We’ve done so much work together.”

“It’s Quaid,” he said from behind clenched teeth, accepting Quaid’s identity, even though he didn’t have any idea what he was taking on. “My name is
Quaid
. I’m a person, Gorin, not a letter or a number or a fucking science project. And you’ll tell me where the neutralizer is or you’ll die a slow, lonely death in this room. If you think Schaeffer’s coming back for you, you’re wrong.”

“If I tell you where it is, you’ll leave me here to die anyway.”

Quaid grinned. Wide and slow. “No. We have things to talk about. Lots of things to talk about. And you’re staying alive until you’ve told me everything you’ve done to me over the last five years, you sick motherfucker.”

Quaid’s anger grew to an explosive level. He almost swore he could tear off the door with his hands. But he slammed the metal again and Gorin startled and cowered.

“Where. Is. It?”

“Schaeffer has it.”

“Where?”

“On him.” Gorin slid his shoulder down the wall until he crouched in the corner. “It’s on a key fob.”

“A
what
?”

“A little gadget attached to his key ring.” He turned his face toward Quaid, eyes wide with fear. “You’re coming back for me.”

“Tell me what you released inside us,” Quaid said. “And your chances go way up.”

“It wasn’t me. I didn’t know about it. I would never have let them put that in you.” He grew belligerent. “Who knows how that altered my tests—”

“
What
is it?”

“A bioengineered protein. I didn’t create it, so I don’t know the properties, but they can make it work almost any way they want. All I know is that you need to get the neutralizer to stop the chemical reaction that’s been started in your body before it’s done too much damage.”

“Can he re-release it inside us or is it a one shot deal?”

Gorin went still. His brows fell, head tipped. “Re—? Is that what he told you?” He shook his head. “No. I hate it when he misrepresents—”

“Gorin,” Quaid shouted and pounded on the door.

The man flinched and started babbling. “Once it’s activated, it’s activated. You either neutralize it or the subject dies. The neutralizer is simply another substance that bonds with the protein to form a different substance, one normally found in your body. When that happens, the effects of the engineered protein stop. It will take a few days for your body to recover, that’s all.”

Thank
God
. He was starting to believe there might be such an entity.

“When I get this fob, how do I release the neutralizer? And is there enough for both me and Cash?”

“There are two buttons—red for releasing the protein, blue for releasing the neutralizer. There are two fobs, one for you and one for Cash.”

Quaid’s fingers curled into his palms. “You do realize that Schaeffer’s going to leave you in here to rot, right? That if you’re lying to me, I’ll die and no one will come back here for you. You’ll starve to death. Ugly way to go.”

“I’m
not lying,
” he implored.

“You’d better not be, or you’d better hope I die if you are.” The thought of Cash dying made Quaid shaky with rage. “I swear to God, Gorin, if Cash dies . . .” No. He couldn’t think about that. “Where is Schaeffer? Where is he?
Right. Now.
”

 

The sound of water in Quaid’s ears grew louder; the adrenaline fizzed through his bloodstream faster. He was light. Powerful. Free.

Invincible.

He materialized, the scene coming into view as he took shape on the plane of existence he’d held in his mind as his purpose. Even before he’d fully transferred into reality, before he could move, he’d scanned the surroundings—quiet country road, rolling hills on either side, large estates dotting the tranquil terrain. And he was alone. Which was lucky, because as soon as he was one hundred percent there, Quaid dropped to his knees.

“Invincible, my ass,” he rasped gripping the center of his abdomen with both hands. Pain squeezed and pulled and twisted his insides.

But it was always like that—the experience of transporting. A serious rush. He would do it even if he didn’t need to go anywhere. Unfortunately, he needed to go somewhere now, but he couldn’t even get up off his knees, let alone walk to the monstrous colonial estate atop a hill at least half a mile away.

In the distance, Quaid picked up the sound of an engine. A car. Luxury vehicle. No doubt headed to join the crowd already gathered at the house on the hill, where cars lined the drive and people milled on the porches and in the gardens.

Quaid took several deep breaths, forcing himself to his feet. And limped to the side of the road where he dropped on his ass beside a huge live oak. He looked up into the branches, breathing hard. And by the time the vehicle passed, Q had regained his breath and the pain in his stomach had mostly ebbed. But, shit, he was wasted. Completely wiped out. The trek to the house looked like forever instead of what should have normally been a sprint that would have barely winded him.

He thought of Cash. Wondered how badly his health had deteriorated. Quaid pressed his hands to his thighs, preparing to stand and his gaze held on his ring. His chest tightened with a myriad of conflicting emotions. His brain throbbed with even more conflicting thoughts. But the strange thing was—as angry, as hurt, as betrayed as he felt that she’d lied to him, knowing honesty was the one thing he’d needed most, the one thing he’d asked from her—he still didn’t want to take the ring off. Couldn’t imagine ever taking it off again.

He’d held onto that coin at the Castle because it had been the only thing in his possession that had been linked to his past, but it had never meant anything to him. This . . . He reached over and spun the band, the sensation familiar and comforting. This . . . meant everything.

Which meant he had to do what he’d come to do and then get back to her. Get back to Cash. Get back to his team. His family.

Q rose and inspected the estate on the hill. He focused on each face, searching for Schaeffer. He wasn’t outside. Q peered through the windows, every detail as sharp from nearly a mile away as if he was standing in front of the house. Still, no sight of—

A man came into view at the edge of a window toward the front of the house. His height, his heavy build, the gray and black of his hair, caught Q’s eye. A woman in a sparkling red dress approached from the opposite direction to shake his hand and he turned, his face coming into view—Schaeffer.

A slow smile came over Quaid’s mouth. “Got you, sucker.”

Only he eyed the terrain again, checked in with his body and decided that he was far too exhausted to make the hike—or would be too tired to deal with Schaeffer by the time he got there. And he needed to save his strength for the confrontation. He scouted out security and chose a location midway between two guards along the fence line among treelike shrubs.

He forced away the lingering unease and closed his eyes. His practiced mind went straight into a deep state of meditation. The sound of rushing water grew louder. The zing of adrenaline intensified until a sudden weightlessness, a tingling sense of power, came over him—that’s when he knew he’d moved locations. The easing of those sensations indicated he’d landed at the site.

Quaid dropped to his knees amongst the shrubs. His belly cramped and a sweat broke out over his face, chest, and back.

“Shit,” he bit out as his body cannibalized itself. “I’m going to . . . kill that fucker . . . when I get him.”

By the time the pain subsided, Quaid was spent. He tried to sit up, but the muscles of his abdomen seemed to have frozen in a partial curl. The crowd of people had thickened, the sky had grown dusky with twilight and white string lights twinkled throughout the gardens. He was momentarily mesmerized by the beauty of it. The entire setting with women dressed in sparkling gowns and men in tuxedos. Couples held hands and strolled through the gardens, stealing kisses beneath the lights.

He didn’t want to go through the rest of his life alone anymore. While that had been a foregone conclusion before Jessica had found him, now, looking ahead, his existence seemed barren without her.

Quaid’s shoulders sagged. His head dropped and his gaze went straight to his ring again. He saw Jessica’s face in his mind, eyes closed, lips slightly parted, expression angelic as she’d fallen asleep with her head on his naked belly after they’d made love the third, maybe the fourth, time. He wasn’t sure; he’d been lost in such ecstasy.

He rolled onto his back and stared at the sky. Stars twinkled. If he died here, his last words to Jessica would have been angry words. His heart grew heavy, as if a rock had been set on his chest. A hollow sensation opened beneath his ribs. Followed by a dark streak of fear.

He couldn’t lose her.

Motion five yards to his right startled him. Quaid scrambled back into the shrubs and stared as a vision of Jessica faded in and out of sight. That poison was either working its way to his brain or Jessica had found another element other than the coin that allowed her spirit to travel.

“Goddamnit.” He closed his eyes and rested his face in his hands. He was sweating, shaking, breathing hard. He didn’t have the energy or the time to fight with her again.

“Quaid.” Her voice met his ears the same time something touched his shoulder.

He jerked his head up and glared at her. “Jessie, I don’t need you—”

“You made that pretty clear when you vanished.” She straightened and met his gaze with heat and anger. “Well, I don’t need you either, Quaid. I used to think I needed you, but I was confusing want and need. Regardless, if you don’t trust me, we don’t belong together.”

“That’s not—”

Something was different about her. He narrowed his eyes, tipped his head. Then he realized what it was and his mouth dropped open.

“You . . . you’re . . .
here
?”

“Yeah. I’m here. And teleporting is better than whatever that was I did in spirit, but they both still suck, and I may throw up all over you. But you can’t get to Schaeffer alone. And I need this to be settled so I can figure out what I’m going to do with my life. Once I know you’re healthy and safe, I can let you go to find the life you really want.”

His mouth unhinged, his brain tangled. A familiar, uncomfortable craving developed low in his gut and he had to clench his hands against the desire to reach out and grab her. Because he’d come here to get the neutralizer and if he lost focus, everyone lost.

“So . . .” She squinted at the house. “You realize you can’t get in there looking like that, right?” She turned her gaze on him. “Unless you have some power of invisibility that I don’t know about.” Then she smiled. Wry and smart-ass. And Quaid wanted to kiss it right off her mouth. “And it’s by invitation only. So, unless you also have the power to create something out of nothing or can control minds—”

“As a matter of fact, I did use mind control to get my partner to turn over his beef jerky.”

Her brows went up. “Oh. Well. I’ll guard my jerky closely. Think you can bend minds to ignore duty? To put their own careers and lives at risk?”

He sighed heavily.

“I’ll take that as a no,” she said. “What do you expect to get from Schaeffer? The location of the neutralizer?”

“The neutralizer itself. Gorin told me he has it on him.”

“And how do you know that’s not Gorin leading you into a
trap
?”

He heard the bitterness in her voice and guilt leaked along his nerves. “Because Gorin won’t get out of that cell until I have the neutralizer. It’s in his best interest to tell me where it is. If going in isn’t a possibility. I need a different plan.”

She looked over at the house again. Quaid’s gaze wandered over her beautiful profile, down the tantalizing slope of her neck. Want grew heavy in the pit of his stomach, spread down through his groin, and up into his chest.

“We can wait for him to come out,” she said, “but we’d be wasting valuable time and I don’t think Cash can afford it.”

Quaid stiffened. “Why? He’s bad?”

She looked back at Quaid, her face taut with tension, but hesitated. “You want honesty.” Her eyes were serious. Matter of fact. “Yes, Quaid, he’s bad. I don’t know if he’ll live long enough to receive the neutralizer.”

Pain hit Quaid and stole his breath. He put his hands on his hips and glared at the house.