Authors: J.J. Ellis
She sat down hard on the couch in her
mother’s house. How many times in the past had she told clients that their fear
wasn’t a burden on others? But here she was thinking it. Maybe she had been
wrong, maybe her teachers had been wrong, because it sure as hell felt like
something she didn’t want to share with those she loved. And now…Russell would
soon be here and he would try to reason with her and she couldn’t deal with
that. Not now. She just wanted to be alone. Tears started to fall and she
curled up on her mother’s couch and cried until she felt sick. Her mother found
her there two hours later.
“Hey kiddo. It’s time to get up, dust
yourself off and get on with your life,” Margaret Zane said, putting a hand on
Emily’s shoulder.
“Easier said than done, Mother,” she
replied. She had just realized that she had never finished healing from her
previous trauma. She’d just swept it under the rug for future torture.
“Well, you at least need to get up and
help me with dinner. Maybe we need to talk.”
Emily sighed and sat up. “I’ll help you with
dinner, but I don’t want to talk. I’m already confused enough, I don’t need
more to think about.”
“Suit yourself,” Margaret said,
standing. “I’ll meet you in there.”
Emily dragged herself off the couch and
into the kitchen. She had no misconceptions that her mother would keep quiet.
But she couldn’t just freeload off of them, so she went on in and set about
helping to make dinner.
“So have you talked to Russell today?”
Margaret asked.
“Only a few texts, Mother. I don’t want
to talk to him or about him right now.”
“Why not? He loves you. You love him. I
don’t see what the problem is.”
“
I’m
the problem, Mom. I was
forever changed that day in Seattle and I’m not going to let it affect the
people I love. I’m leaving in the morning.” Her fear of…whatever the hell it
was… had finally taken completely over.
“I think that will be a big mistake. You
need to face…”
Emily left the meat she was dicing on
the cutting board and ran out of the room. When she was safely encased in her
sister’s room she pulled out her phone and called the airlines. First thing in
the morning, when her father headed into Casper, she would be with him. She
somehow couldn’t get away fast enough. If she’d had a way to get to Casper that
night she would have been on her way already.
The rest of her night was spent packing.
She stopped only for dinner where she told her family her plan then she went to
bed. Dreams of shootings, Russell and Miranda, and Seattle plagued her through
the night. Morning couldn’t come soon enough.
Russell woke with a splitting headache
and sore muscles but that wasn’t about to stop him from seeing Emily that
morning. He’d only slept for a couple of hours because his mind kept going over
the last couple of months and how it was actually so easy to fall in love with
her. Some things just couldn’t be explained.
Sitting up, he stretched and felt a bit
better. Tossing and turning all night had definitely tried to sabotage his
plans, but he wouldn’t let it. He was going to get Emily back…today!
Following a quick shower and some
breakfast, that he could barely manage to get down, he said goodbye to his mom
and Miranda and drove away from the ranch. With any luck he wouldn’t be alone
when he came back.
Emily’s parents lived on the other side
of town and it took him twenty minutes to get there. Thank goodness there
hadn’t been any cops on the road. When he pulled up in front of the large, blue
ranch-style house, he saw Em’s car and breathed a sigh of relief. She was
there.
He felt like a nervous teenager on a
first date as he rang the doorbell. It didn’t go unnoticed that he felt like
that a lot with Emily. The look on Margaret Zane’s face when she answered the
door spoke volumes. Emily was gone.
“I’m sorry Russell. After your flowers
arrived, she reserved a ticket to Seattle. She left with her father a half an
hour ago for the airport.”
“What time does her flight leave?” he
asked through gritted teeth, more out of frustration than anger.
“Three hours from now, so about eleven
o’clock. Wait right here, I have her itinerary.”
When Margaret came back to the door, she
handed him a piece of stationary with dates, times and a flight number on it.
“She hates the Salt Lake City airport so she chose to fly through Denver.
There’s one through Salt Lake that leaves fifteen minutes later but arrives in
Seattle an hour earlier. I personally would have chosen that one.”
Russell got the hint and knew exactly
what she was getting at. If he missed her in Casper, he could be in Seattle and
waiting for her when she arrived.
“Thank you so much,” he smiled, dropping
a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll bring her home.”
Getting into his SUV, he first called
his mother. “Hey Ma, can you watch Miranda for me for a couple of days?”
“Of course, but where on earth are you
going?”
“Emily is headed to Seattle. I’m going
to bring her home, if I don’t catch her in Casper before she leaves that is.”
“Oh okay. Don’t worry about us. We’ll be
fine. Bring her home, son!”
“I will Ma. I love you.” He hung up the
phone, looked up the number for the airline and called to reserve himself a
seat on the 11:15 a.m. flight from Casper to Salt Lake City with connections to
Seattle. When that was done, he tossed his phone on the passenger seat and
headed out of town with only a quick stop for gas.
About twenty miles from his destination,
he saw lights in his rearview mirror. “Fuck!” he groaned, pulling over to the
side of the road. He didn’t have time for this shit. But then again, he had
been going ninety-five miles per hour.
The trooper was in a good mood so he
only ticketed him for speeding. He ignored the fact that Russell was way past
due to register his car in Wyoming. Within half an hour he was back on the road
with a stern warning from the trooper to slow down or risk never seeing his
girlfriend again. The last twenty miles seemed to drag and his stress was going
through the roof. When he was delayed just outside of town by a tractor trailer
fire, he pounded his hands on the steering wheel. “What the hell is up with my
luck,” he muttered. “Maybe I’m the one who should go into hiding.”
Traffic finally started to lighten at
the turn off to the airport allowing him to quickly park in long term parking
and head inside. He was too late. Emily’s flight had already boarded. It looked
like he would be flying to Seattle.
The flight from Casper to Salt Lake City
was uneventful, but Russell was so restless he couldn’t imagine having to sit
still for the next leg of the flight. He just wanted to be there and have Emily
in his arms again.
As he was changing planes, he thought
about what would happen if she refused him and his idea. He pushed it quickly
away. There was no way he would succeed if he kept thinking like that.
By mid-afternoon, his plane touched down
in Seattle. He was the first off the aircraft and wound his way through the
airport maze to Emily’s gate. He sat down to wait the hour until she arrived.
The time would of course drag. God! He couldn’t wait to see her beautiful face.
He figured he should probably let his
mother know he was okay so he texted her.
“Hey
Ma. Safe in Seattle. Can I text Miranda on your phone please?”
Her response came a moment later
. “Glad to know you’re safe. The next text
you send, Miranda will read.”
Russell smiled and typed out his
message.
“Hey squirt. Are you being good
for Grandma?”
Five minutes later he got an answer.
“Hi Daddy! Have you seen Miss Emily yet?”
Russell quickly responded.
“No, not yet. But soon. I love you baby
girl.”
Five minutes later her response came
. “I love you too Daddy. Tell Miss Emily I
love her,
kinda
like a second Mama.”
Just as he was about to text her back,
they announced the arrival of Emily’s plane. He stood as close as he could get,
watching others reunited with their loved ones. He started to get nervous that
she may not even have been on the flight. But then there she was, the last one
off the plane. Tears were streaming down her face.
When she saw him, she stopped in her
tracks. He noticed her battling between a smile and a frown before she ran
forward and threw herself into his arms.
“What…what are you doing here?” she
cried.
“I’m not picky about which airport I go
through to get here,” he joked. “Why are you crying?”
Emily reached up to caress his cheek. “I
was trying to come to terms with the fact that you and Miranda would no longer
be a part of my life. It really hit me on the last hour of the flight.”
“Does that mean you’ll come home?’
Russell asked, wiping her tears away.
“I don’t think so, Rusty.”
“Why not? If you miss us…”
“I’d rather have you safe and miss you
than have you and lose you,” she murmured. “I’ve realized that nowhere is safe,
so I just want to disappear into a big, anonymous, familiar place.”
Russell slumped down into the chair
behind him. “Please.”
“I’m sorry…”
“At least hear me out. Let’s go to
dinner and talk. If your answer is still no after that then I’ll leave on the
next available flight. I won’t bother you again.”
Emily looked up and into his eyes. What
could it hurt? It’s not like losing them could be any more painful than it already
was. “Okay. I’ll go to dinner with you. But I don’t think you’ll find what
you’re looking for.”
**********
A half an hour later, they were being
seated in the back of a quiet little mom and pop restaurant that Emily had
frequented when she lived there.
“I don’t recognize anyone here,” she
stated, looking around her. “I wonder if Bill and Mary sold it like they had
talked about.”
“This is a great place. They probably
got a pretty penny for it,” Russell said. “Is there something specific you
would recommend?”
Emily looked over her menu at him.
“Truthfully, everything here is perfect. Or at least it was when I lived here.”
When the waiter came over and took their
drink orders, they decided to go ahead and order their food too.
“So, what do you want to say?” she
asked, handing the waiter her menu. Russell saw her shields go up.
“Well,” he started. “There is something
I want to try to do in Harper’s Rock, but I can’t do it without you.”
She looked at him as if she didn’t
believe him. “And what might that be?”
“Do you remember what you told me at the
horse exhibit on school carnival night?”
“Yeah,” she said quietly. “I said I
wanted to start a therapy summer camp for autistic kids.” Her eyes were cast
downward and he saw a stray tear hit the table.
“Let’s do that Em. You and me, on the
ranch.”
“I can’t do that if I’m here, Russell.”
She hadn’t thought about having to give up her dream. She’d been wrong, the
pain she felt could get worse.
He sighed heavily and took her hand as
the drinks were delivered. When the waiter had gone again, he spoke. “Then come
home with me. You said it was your dream.”
“It is…I just…”
“Emily Zane! What are you doing here,”
came a voice form behind her. “I thought you went into hiding after Daniel
died.”
Russell looked at the woman and then to
Emily. If he remembered correctly Daniel was an ex-boyfriend who’d left her
high and dry. She’d never said anything about him being dead.
Emily stood and hugged her old roommate
Meghan. They chatted for a few moments then the other woman went to her own
table.
“I thought you said…”
“I’m sorry, she whispered. “I got so
tired of people feeling sorry for me that I just made up something easier for
them to handle.”
After the waiter dropped off their food,
he made Emily look at him. “What really happened?”
“He was there that day,” she whispered.
“We had broken things off the night before because…well, I didn’t love him
anymore. We’d grown apart.”
Russell gave her a moment to collect herself
before squeezing her hand to encourage her to continue. “He showed up at the
diner to try to get me back. He was the first one the kid killed.”
“And you blamed yourself,” he said
softly.
“Of course,” she murmured through her tears.
“I always do. I’m quiet the narcissist, aren’t I.”
“You were hurting Emily. But none of it
is your fault.”
“I thought I was going to lose you too,”
she sobbed. “I didn’t love Daniel anymore, but he was a huge part of my life
for so long. I still cared about him. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing
someone else I cared about.”
Russell reached over and took both of
her hands in his. “You didn’t lose me, Em. And it wasn’t your fault that my
fucked up ex-wife decided to try to become a cold-blooded killer.”
“I know it’s ridiculous. But God, bad
luck seems to follow me everywhere and I’m tired of it.”
“Then take a chance with me and make
your own luck. Stop running from your pain.”
“I didn’t really run from it…Oh, I did,
didn’t I? I ran to Seattle from what Chuck did to me and from my grandmother’s
death. And I ran back to Harper’s Rock because of the shooting and Daniel’s
death.” Emily paused and looked up at Russell. “I need to stop running.”
He smiled. “Yes you do. And I need to
make up for all of the bad crap I caused to happen when
I
ran at
eighteen. The only thing I’m grateful for from that part of my life is
Miranda.”
Emily was shocked into silence,
contemplating what she had done to her life by running scared instead of facing
things head on. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?” she finally asked.
“No. I was planning on being on a plane
back to Wyoming, with you in tow,” he said with a smile.
“I have a hotel room. After dinner,
let’s go there so we can talk more about your ideas for the camp.”
“Okay,” he agreed. “I’m assuming you’ll
have questions.”
“Yeah, like who owns what, who owes how
much.”
Russell chuckled. “There would be an
awful lot of paperwork, and contracts would need to be signed.”
“Okay,” she sighed. “If I can stay
awake, we’ll talk about it at the hotel.”
Russell paid the check and they walked
outside. He wanted to hold her hand but was afraid she’d bolt. But then again,
what the hell more did he have to lose at this point anyway. He reached for her
hand and held his breath. When she didn’t pull away, he let himself breathe
normally.
“Do you want me to get a cab?” he asked.
“No, the hotel is just a couple of
blocks away. We can walk.”
The farther they headed uptown, the
nicer the neighborhood was. Within a few minutes, he found himself standing in
front of one of the nicest hotels in Seattle. “Wow, a bit extravagant, isn’t
it?”
Emily laughed, the sweet sound was music
to Russell’s ears. “I thought I would splurge for a few days because I was so
sad.”
**********
Russell sat down on the bed and pulled
out his phone to let Evelyn and Miranda know he would be staying the night. The
call was over by the time Emily came out of the bathroom. “I forgot to give you
a message from Miranda earlier,” he said. “And I just got chewed out for forgetting.”