Ruthless (The Seraphim Series Book 2) (4 page)

Breathing in deeply, Lilliah continued, “He talks to me in them. Last night, he burned down a club.” She nodded her head back in the direction they had come from. “That club.”

“So it’s real?” Rebecca shook her head. “And that’s why Benedict’s here?”

“Yep.”

“That’s crap.”

“Yep.”

“So the Devil’s back?” A few passers-by turned to look at Rebecca, a few with raised eyebrows while others just looked amused.

“I think so. There was a guy in there.” She bit the side of her mouth, thinking of a way to describe her attacker without making it sound so bad. “He was weird and kept talking in riddles.”

“Oh, my gosh. Is that why you fell?”

“No, he pushed me. But I don’t think he wanted to hurt me. At one point, he looked as if he were in pain. Then his eyes went red.” She left out the last part.

“He attacked you?” Rebecca shrieked, her mouth slightly agape in horror. “When something like that happens, you tell people. And by
people
, I mean your best friend and your brother. We need to know this stuff. It’s dangerous and scary, but we’re in this together.”

Guilt sat heavy on Lilliah’s chest like a slab of concrete. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well, it’s done. And Lucifer’s back. All of this is just perfect!”

“Wish I hadn’t told you?” Lilliah asked, testing out the water. She wasn’t sure whether Rebecca was mad at her or at the situation. 

“Nah,” Rebecca said easily. “If the world’s going to end, I want to know.”

Lilliah was about to deny that the world was ending when a thought popped into her head. “What would you do if the world were ending?”

“Have the time of my life and spend time with the people I love.”

Lilliah nodded along with what Rebecca was saying.

“But hey.” Rebecca nudged her. “At least this time around, if Lucifer ends the world, you won’t die a virgin.” She giggled at her own joke.

“Me and Azrael haven’t done that yet.” Lilliah tried not to blush; she didn’t want to talk about her embarrassing lack of a sex life.

“Wait, what?” Rebecca stopped again.

“We can’t keep stopping.” Lilliah tugged on her friend’s arm. “People are getting annoyed.”

Rebecca didn’t budge. “You’re still a virgin?”

Lilliah’s gaze shot towards the people walking past them, hoping they hadn’t overheard.

“Shh!” Her face was burning. “Yes, I’m still a virgin.”

“Oh, this can’t happen.” For reasons beyond Lilliah’s understanding, her virginity, and not the Devil, seemed to annoy Rebecca.

“There is more to a relationship than sex. Besides, it’s not like I haven’t tried.”

Lilliah didn’t even want to think about how many times she had tried, from lying down on the bed and offering herself to him like a sacrificial lamb, to playing it cool and copping a feel while they were both in bed. The amount of times he had turned her down had gotten embarrassing.

“I know there’s more than just sex, but you said you were ready—that you wanted to take it to the next level.”

“I did.”

“Then try harder.” Rebecca wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“Azrael has probably been with so many women.” She shuddered at the thought. “Maybe he doesn’t want that kind of relationship?”

Saying the words out loud and admitting what she had been feeling for weeks depressed her. She knew they had only been seeing each other for two months, but it felt like so much longer. To her, there was no one else but Azrael, and she had thought he’d felt the same way. However, the lack of action in the bedroom department said otherwise.

“‘That kind of relationship’? What, like the normal kind? What you need is lingerie, a wax, and some alcohol.” Rebecca looked up at her friend. “Let’s do this.”

Chapter 3

Lilliah paced around Azrael’s bedroom, searching for a distraction. She didn’t dare put on a dressing gown to cover herself up; she wanted to be ready for when Azrael came home. Finding the perfect underwear set had taken her and Rebecca hours. Finally, they had settled on a really expensive black lacy number with garters. She wanted Azrael to feel the “full effect,” as Rebecca had put it.

Sitting down at the end of the bed, she kept an eye on all the candles she’d lit around the room. Waiting was becoming too much, so she got up and started pacing. She had promised herself that tonight would be the night. She wouldn’t let Azrael turn her down for the millionth time. And if he did, she would demand to know why.

She rubbed her hands up and down her arms to warm herself against the chill in Azrael’s apartment. “It can’t be romantic if it’s freezing, now can it?”

Lilliah headed out of the room. Azrael’s apartment was huge and modern, completely different from his country mansion that had burned down. She made her way through the open living room to the iPad that controlled the apartment and turned up the heat. It had taken her weeks to get the hang of the app and she still found it strange that Azrael had something so high-tech. She couldn’t imagine him sitting down one day and deciding to have it installed. She made a mental note to ask him about it at some point.

Lilliah looked around the apartment. At a glance, with all the furnishings, it seemed like any other home, but upon closer inspection, she realised how empty it was. No pictures hung on the walls or sat in frames on the shelves. No cushions or books or anything remotely personal hinted at who lived here. A few of Lilliah’s things were scattered here and there, but apart from that, the apartment was empty. One of the things she loved about the apartment was the windows. A huge wall of glass stretched from one side of the apartment to the other, with the city of London sprawled out beyond them.

“I want to look further afield. I don’t think he’d stay in one place.”

Lilliah froze when she heard Azrael’s voice. She’d been too preoccupied with the view that she hadn’t heard the door open.
Who is he talking to?

“You’re right. I’ll ask around and see what people are saying.”

She dropped behind the sofa when she heard Benedict’s voice.

Oh God, oh God
, she thought, panicking. Though she was lying flat on the floor, she still tried to cover herself with her hands. Benedict couldn’t see her like this.

“Yes, he’s somewhere. We need to know where.” Azrael sounded closer.

Lilliah squeezed her eyes shut.

“Stop,” she called out, then pressed her lips together.

“Lilliah?” Azrael asked. She didn’t have to see him to know he was standing a few meters away. “Why are you on the floor?”

“Stop! Please,” she shrieked. “I’m almost naked.”

“Benedict, leave.” She heard scuffling and then a door closing. “Angel?”

Slowly, she opened her eyes. Azrael was standing over her, smiling.

“What are you doing?”

“Just … chilling.” She attempted to smile as she lifted herself onto her elbow. Her face was on fire. This was definitely not how she had imagined their night going.

“Chilling, huh?” He squatted so he was at eye level with her. He ran his fingers over the black lace. “Do you always dress like this when I’m not around?”

“Sometimes.” She tried to act casually, but her hands were shaking. This wasn’t sexy. How could she move on from this? How could she get to the sexy part? Biting her lip, she held out her hand. “Are you going to help me up or not?”

Azrael smirked then grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. “I would have killed Benedict if he had seen you like this.”

She laughed nervously.

“What were you doing?”

Her smiled faltered. “Well”—she awkwardly motioned to her underwear—“this is what girlfriends do when they want to seduce their boyfriends.”

“Seduce me?” he repeated, amused.

Lilliah nodded, now frowning.

“I love you, Lilliah.” He pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was tender and sweet and annoyed the hell out of her. “Go and put some clothes on. I’ll make us a sandwich.”

Lilliah stood on the spot, completely dumbfounded as Azrael walked into the kitchen.

“Put some clothes on?” Her mouth hung open. “What?”

“You’ll get cold,” Azrael answered as he grabbed a loaf of bread from the cupboard. He went to work on the sandwiches as if she weren’t standing in his living room half-naked.

“Oh, yeah!” She threw her arms in the air and turned to storm out of the room. He wasn’t interested. Her temper burst. He wouldn’t get away with this. He wouldn’t make her feel like crap.

“You know what?” she demanded, changing her mind and storming back into the living room. Azrael looked up from his sandwich. “Why don’t you just say it?”

“Say what?”

His calm disposition angered her further. “That you’re not interested!” she screamed. “Then I wouldn’t have to make a complete fool of myself!”

“You think I’m not interested?” He was fully smiling at her, and
she wanted to hit that smugness off his face.

“‘Go put some clothes on,’” she said, mimicking his voice. “Does that sound like someone who’s interested?” She folded her arms over her chest. “No. It fucking does not.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you.” In that moment everything about him bothered her. His politeness, the way he was standing. Everything.

“Why are you talking to me like I’m your goddamn neighbour or something?”

He leaned on the counter casually. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Nothing.” She stepped back, breathing heavily. “I don’t want you to say anything anymore.” She turned to leave but halted. “And for the record …” She turned to look over her shoulder. “I’m not offended. I’m fucking pissed.”

She didn’t wait for his reply. She left the room and headed for Azrael’s bedroom, where she slammed the door shut behind her. Minutes later, tears filled her eyes. He didn’t care. Had he gotten bored of her? Was that it? Did the thought of touching her repulse him? Feeling way too exposed, she grabbed her dressing gown from the bed. She had literally begged him for sex out of desperation. If it had been about the physical act itself, she wouldn’t have been half as hurt, but it wasn’t. To her, it was about so much more. She wanted to share something with Azrael that she had never wanted to share with anyone else. To her, it was a way to bond them together forever, but he didn’t seem to want that with her.

The door flew open so hard it cracked off its hinges. Lilliah jumped back. A furious Azrael stood in the doorway.

“Do you really think I’m not interested?” He gritted his teeth, hands fisted at his sides.

Lilliah gulped. “Obviously.”

She turned her back to him to wipe away her fallen tears, not wanting him to see her crying.

“Are you out of your mind?” He stalked into the room.

“No!” she shouted back. “But why else would you turn me down again and again!” Tears were falling fast and a lump had formed in her throat. “It’s so humiliating.”

“I’m not turning you down because I don’t want you.” His features softened slightly. “I’m turning you down because I
do
want you.”

Lilliah stared, completely confused.

“It’s not you.” Azrael took a step forward in her silence. “It’s me.”

“Get out.” Her temper flared again. “Get out of this goddamn room right now!”

“What?” It was Azrael’s turn to look confused. “What did I say?”

“You’re breaking up with me, and with a line like,
‘It’s not you, it’s me’
?” She shook her head. “No. Just leave.”

“I’m not breaking up with you!” Azrael roared. “I don’t even understand what the hell we’re fighting over!”

“Because you don’t want to have sex with me.” She cringed as the words left her mouth. “Because, let’s face it, you’re not exactly a virgin, are you?”

“No, I’m not!” In the blink of an eye, he was in front of her. Lilliah’s breath caught, but she refused to back down. “That’s why I don’t want to rush into this!”

“That makes no sense.”

Azrael grabbed her by her face and crashed his lips against hers. Lilliah protested for a second before caving in and wrapping her arms around his neck. These weren’t soft kisses; they were rough and demanding.

He broke away slightly, their lips still touching. “You’re the most precious thing to me in this entire universe, Heaven or Hell.”

Azrael stepped back and ran his fingers through the ends of her hair, his fingers grazing her breasts.

“I want you to be mine in every way, body and soul, but I don’t want you regretting anything.”

Lilliah frowned. “Why would I regret this? I love you.”

“I’ve taken away any chance you have at living a normal life.”

“I don’t want a normal life. And I’m an angel too, don’t forget. I’m not normal!”

“I know, but you don’t get to choose now. I took that. I’m trying to make the rest of your life as normal as possible.”

She leaned forward and whispered, “Sex is very normal.”

She was full on beaming. Azrael wasn’t breaking up with her. The anxious feeling in her gut dissipated.

“But after two months?” He quirked an eyebrow.

“For some girls, yeah.”

Azrael grabbed one of her hands, running his thumb back and forth over the palm. “I fucked up so much of your life already that I want everything else to be perfect.”

“You know what’s not perfect? Getting turned down again and again.”

He ran his hands through his hair. “I just want to do things right. Have you completely forgotten that you were attacked today? How can you go from that to this?”

Lilliah almost threw herself at him. He caught her and pulled her tightly into his arms.

“I want this. I want you.”

She didn’t wait for him to protest and instead reached up and kissed him with everything she had. He opened his mouth in surrender, and she drove her tongue in. As always, he tasted divine. Azrael ran his hands down her back and squeezed her bum. She jumped and wrapped her legs around him. She wanted to be closer, always closer.

“Are you sure about this?”

Lilliah had barely nodded when her back hit the mattress. Azrael stood over her, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, his eyes never leaving her face.

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” Too long, she wanted to add, but really didn’t want to ruin the moment.

“You’re so beautiful. You have no idea how beautiful you are.”

He opened her dressing gown and ran his hands down her body. His movements were controlled and determined. Lilliah bit her lip and shivered with excitement. With everything going on around them, this was what she wanted—what she
needed.

She had seen Azrael shirtless many times before, but tonight was different. This time it was for her, solely for her.

“Breathe, baby.”

Azrael leaned down and kissed her neck. She shivered as she held him close.

He lifted his head, his eyes searching. “Last chance to back out, because if I carry on, I won’t be able to stop.”

Lilliah tightened her legs around his waist. “Neither will I.”

Those words were, it seemed, all Azrael had needed. As soon as they left her mouth, he went to work, ripping her panties off her body and dropping the lace on the floor. His eyes burned into hers.

“Amazing.” He stepped between her legs and kissed her. “Keep your eyes open, always.”

Leaning up on her elbows, Lilliah tugged at his shirt. Seeing his abs just wasn’t enough, she wanted to see all of him. “Please take this off. I’m way too naked for you to be this dressed.”

Azrael stepped back, shrugging out of the shirt and letting it drop on the floor before resuming his position.

“Now you.” He pulled Lilliah up, his finger softly brushing her skin as he unclasped her bra. Lilliah let him take it off and then watched as he dropped it on the floor. She had never felt so exposed in her life, but at the same time, she had never felt so safe.

Grabbing the back of her head, Azrael kissed her hard, his tongue forcing its way into her mouth. Still holding the back of her head, he scooped her up and laid her further up on the bed.

Lilliah was high on his kisses. The friction his trousers caused in between her bare legs was almost too much to take.
Focus, Lilliah.
She pushed him back and smiled wickedly.

“Tell me what you want, Lilliah.”

She wanted it all—all of him, all the time. She never wanted this feeling to end, but how could she even try to put what she was feeling into words? If was impossible, so instead, she simply whispered, “You. I just want you,” because that was true too.

Azrael took charge, moving her into position and guiding her when she needed it. She was too lost to think clearly, so swept up in the feel of him. Even with him this close, she couldn’t get enough of him. Her hands were constantly roaming, needing to feel more. She fisted her hand in his hair and brought his lips close to hers.