Ryder's Redemption (Badboy Rockers #2) (11 page)

THIRTEEN

Ryder

Curtis is downstairs with that little fucker Alec.

What the hell? He’s already planning my replacement? I haven’t even taken the piss test yet and he’s bringing a fucking fourteen year-old in to replace me?

I hated to admit it, but the kid did have some serious skills. He would never have my ability to work an audience though.

Unable to stand the sound of the kid playing a difficult riff with no problem, I head for the door.

Fuck this shit.

I half expect Deklan to be on my heels. I make it a point to be quiet, so hopefully he’ll just get the idea that I want to be alone.

An old lady who lives on the corner street is out watering her roses. She sees me and gives me a smile and I give her a wink.

She giggles like a girl and for the first time today I grin.

That was my problem. Maybe I was too proud, or maybe I was too fucking tired to care any longer. I was coming out of my skin, and I want to take a Xanax more than anything.

I reach for my phone, and my thumb hovers over Dac’s number.

He can get me what I want, no questions asked. No one needs to know. Just something to take off the edge and make me feel more like myself and less like I’m coming undone.

How the hell do my buddies think taking me away from what I love will help with my sobriety, especially when they’re shoving it down my throat?

I hit Dac’s number. He doesn’t pick up and I don’t leave a message.

I pocket the phone and keep walking.

Five seconds later my phone buzzes with a text alert.

Dac: What’s up?

Me: Stressing…

Dac:  I’ll be around until four.

He lives at least a mile away.

I start jogging.

All along I’m asking myself what I’m doing and coming up with a million reasons why I should stop using. One reason being a certain gorgeous girl with green eyes and reddish brown hair, who is ornery and complicated, and yet classy and kind.

Every single day I don’t use is a victory, I tell myself, even as I keep running in the direction of Dac’s house.

Dac is waiting for me on the porch. He’s smoking a cigarette and puts it out in an overflowing ashtray that looks like it’s been around for decades.

“Come on in, Ryder.”

A few years older than me, Dac still lives at home. His mom was involved in a bad car wreck years ago, and that’s when he started snagging her meds.  Soon he was selling them at school, and then he got his own connections. It’s not like he was ever obvious though. He didn’t flaunt money like a lot of people in his business did. He stayed under the radar.

His mom is asleep on the couch, a soap opera blaring on the big screen television.

Dac doesn’t bother to turn the volume down as we head into his room.

“So…Xanax?”

I flinch. It’s pretty bad when a drug dealer knows your drug of choice.

“Yeah. Maybe an oxy or two.” Oh my God, what am I thinking? I’m playing with fire.

“How many?”

“Let’s go five each.”

I pull out a hundred and set it on the dresser.

“And I need something that’s going to help me piss clean.”

Dac goes to his closet, pulls a box down, and starts rifling through it. He tosses a box onto the floor. “Drink this and you’ll piss clean. Try to give yourself at least twenty-four hours though.”

That shouldn’t be too hard. I was scheduled to work all day tomorrow, and I don’t think Deklan would push too much for the test.  Curtis on the other hand was going to be a major pain in the ass.

“Does it work?”

“Goddamn right it works.” He grins. “I’ve personally had great results with that one. It’s gotten me out of a scrape or two.”

I was going on the word of a dealer, but at this point it was all I had.

He puts the pills inside a small baggie and zips it closed.

“I’m getting some great smoke out of Hawaii. This shit will blow your mind.”

Pot had never been my thing. “No, I don’t think so.”

My phone rings. I glance down. It’s Deklan. “Dude, I have to go.”

Dac nods and shows me the door. “You know where to find me.”

I press the button to answer, but it’s too late.

The phone rings again.

I start jogging. “Hey.”

“Where are you?” Deklan asks, doing his best to not sound too irritated. But I sense it all the same.

“I went for a walk.”

“Hmmm.” A few silent seconds pass and I clear my throat. “So what’s up?”

“Uncle Steve has the keys to the apartment ready. You want to go check out our new place?”

I smile. I am so ready to get the hell out of Curtis and Terry’s house. “Hell yes.”

“Get your ass home, then.”

The pills and pee clean kit are still in my pocket when I enter the house. Alec has left and I’m relieved. I don’t need Curtis rubbing the little motherfucker in my face. It’s all I can do not to tell Curtis what I think of him either, but I bite my lip to keep the peace.

Deklan comes up from the basement. “You ready?”

“Definitely.”

In the truck, Deklan is watching me. “Don’t worry about Alec. Curtis said he was just showing him a few techniques.”

I didn’t buy that for a second. “Are they really going to replace me with a sixth grader?”

Deklan frowns. “Why would you be replaced? Curtis just overreacted and thought you were high when you weren’t.”

He’s serious. He completely trusts me and I feel like such an asshole for lying to him.

“You’re not going anywhere, Ryder. I’ve got your back.”

Those words stick with me as we walk around our new place. The apartment is better than I imagined. Sure, it smells old, like all ancient buildings do, but man, I appreciate the detail and craftsmanship in the original woodwork. There are nine-foot doors throughout and just as Deklan said, there is a bathroom and a laundry room between our bedrooms.

As lame as it sounds…I feel like I can breathe for the first time in forever.

Deklan is standing by the corner window of what will be our new living room. “Pretty amazing, huh?”

“It’s nicer than I thought it would be.” I join him at the window and we stare out at the surprisingly great view of the park in silence. A million different emotions are rushing through me. For a second I am half tempted to come clean. It’s Deklan, after all.

When the girls arrive Deklan grins and I’m strangely relieved that they showed up before I said anything. After a quick tour, we sit on the floor, sun shining on our faces.

I could handle this
, I think to myself. Just the four of us, chilling out together. I’d never been the monogamous type, but after watching Deklan and Kenzie’s relationship evolve, I definitely saw the benefits.

“Wow, this is really nice,” Brooke says, sounding pleasantly surprised.

Ange stands and rests her hands on the windowsill. She’s leaning forward, looking out at the park. Her pert little ass looks amazing in her tight jeans. “When’s move in day?” She glances over at me and my gaze shifts abruptly to her face.

I’m busted, and we both know it. She smiles and turns back to the view.

“Friday,” Deklan says.

“Do you need help?” Kenzie asks, leaning against Deklan.

Deklan nods. “Of course. I’m hoping you two can help put things away. Ryder and I are both at a loss on how to organize a kitchen.”

“Do you have kitchen supplies?” Kenzie asks.

Deklan winces.

“How about we all go to Ikea together?”

The suggestion had us piling into Kenzie’s car and headed to Portland.

Soon I’m standing in a box store with my buddies. Ange and Kenzie are debating over some black candlestick holders while Deklan is checking out a monster size picture of a 57’ Chevy that would look pretty bad-ass on our living room wall.

It was all so surreal. I had a job, our band was gaining a name for itself with a gig at Gorge Days, and now I had my own pad with my best friend.

For the first time in a long while I am looking forward to the future.  I could do this…if I can just keep my shit together.

I sit on a bright red microfiber settee that I can only see sitting in a photography studio. “What do you think?” I ask, unable to keep the smile from my lips.

Deklan’s lips quirk. “Uncle Steve is giving us his old furniture.”

I try to recall the furniture he’s referring to. “You mean the leather?”

“I think it’s pleather.”

I shrug. “Hey, I’d be happy with lawn furniture.”

“Me, too. It’s gonna be amazing, bro. You wait and see.”

Ange

I’m eating a bagel with cream cheese in the kitchen when Cole walks out of the bathroom with steam following in his wake.

“Good morning, ladies.”

The bagel gets caught in my throat. He’s wearing a wife beater and pajama pants, and I can smell his body spray from here.

“You okay?” Kenzie asks.

I nod, ignoring the heat that is racing up my neck to my cheeks.

Melissa is beaming. “Good morning, sweetie. I hope I didn’t wake you up this morning.”

Kenzie glances at me and rolls her eyes. Melissa’s favoritism toward her oldest is borderline nauseating.

“I’m used to waking up early for practice anyway.” He flashes her a winning smile. “I just hope one day you’ll have a three bedroom apartment so at least I’ll have my own room when I visit.”

“From your lips to God’s ears,” she says, ruffling her hand through his wet, slicked back hair.

She pours herself a cup of coffee and returns to her room.

“You want to grab a shower next?” Kenzie asks.

I shake my head. “No, you go ahead.” I watch as she leaves the kitchen and heads towards the bathroom.

Cole grabs an apple out of the crystal bowl on the kitchen counter and takes a bite. We are sitting side by side, and his hand is moving up and down my thigh. It’s small stuff, but I know he wants more.

He got home really late last night and I had wondered who he’d been out with. I know it wasn’t my place to ask him, and yet my curiosity was getting the best of me. I imagined the leggy Nadia from the lake.

“So what are you up to today?” he asks, tossing the partially eaten apple into the trashcan.

“We’re heading to the farmer’s market and then the guys have a concert tonight.”

Cole nods. “Sounds like fun. I don’t have anything going. Mind if I tag along?”

It takes me a second to realize he was being serious. I sincerely doubt that Kenzie would want him to come hang out with us. They manage to be polite around each other, but it was pretty obvious to those who knew them best that the relationship is strained.

“I’ll ask Kenzie and make sure it’s okay. I don’t know how it works with the band passes, you know.”

“Don’t you want me there?”

His eyes hold mine for a few seconds, and I realize that there’s a part of me that doesn’t want him there. “Of course I do.”

Leaning in, he kisses me softly. He pulls back the slightest bit and stares into my eyes. “I want you so much.”

My stomach tightens into a knot.

The doorbell rings.

I jump a foot.

He laughs under his breath and stands to answer the door.

A squeal sounds a second before a girl throws herself into Cole’s arms.

“Payton, what are you doing here?” Cole sounds alarmed.

Payton must have caught on to Cole’s reaction, because the sweet smile on her face turns into a frown. “I came to see you!”

He puts her at arm’s length. “Payton, I’m headed home this weekend.”

Her eyes widen. “You’re mad I’m here, aren’t you?”

“No, of course not. I just wasn’t expecting you.” He forces a smile. “A call would have been nice.”

“I’m sorry—” Seeing me, her eyes go even wider and she looks back at Cole with a questioning look on her face.

“This is—”

“Hi, I’m Ange,” I say, extending my hand. “I’m Kenzie’s best friend from San Diego.”

She immediately relaxes and takes my hand. “It’s lovely to meet you.”

Payton is adorable. Standing just over five feet tall, with long brown hair with big curls, she stares at me with her beautiful brown eyes.

We even dress a similar way. She had on a sundress with a cute little sweater over the top. “Is that the new Bende’ collection?” I ask, and she grins, showing deep adorable dimples.

“Yes, the new fall line.”

“Gorgeous,” I say, pouring myself a cup of coffee. I hate coffee, but I need to keep myself busy.

I listen as the two make small talk.

Cole glances at me, and I force a smile. “I have to get going. Kenzie and I are heading out to a concert tonight with the boys.”

If possible, Payton’s smile broadens as she slips her hand into Cole’s. “It was so nice meeting you.”

Cole, on the other hand, doesn’t look very happy at all.

Kenzie walks out of the bathroom. “We have twenty minutes.” She stops short when she sees Payton. “Hey,” she says, the word sounding like a question.

“You must be Kenzie.” Payton is beaming. “I recognize you from the pictures.”

They make quick work of the introductions. Payton talks non-stop, and all Kenzie has to do is nod and answer in one syllable responses.

When Deklan and Ryder arrive, Payton looks a little alarmed. I am amused, because for the first time, I don’t see the overwhelming sense of excitement that comes over women when they see the two. Or maybe I had misread the situation, because her gaze keeps shifting between the two men. Finally, she gasps. “Oh my God, you’re
The Frozen
.”

“You know them?” I ask, surprised that someone from out of town recognizes them.

“You guys played at the Puyallup County Fair a couple of summers ago. I live in Orting.”

“Nice little town,” Deklan responds and shakes her hand.

“It’s nice meeting you both. Just wait until I tell my friends that I met you. They are going to be so jealous.” Payton looks at Cole. “How could you have failed to tell me that your sister is dating the drummer of
The Frozen
?”

“He’s also the founding member of the band,” Ryder is quick to add.

Deklan shifts on his feet, and I find it sweet that he’s so humble.

Cole looks irritated that she’s so excited about meeting the band.

“You guys want to come to the concert tonight?” Ryder asks, and I know it’s all Kenzie can do not to kick him in the nuts and drop him to his knees.

***

We walk through Farmer’s Market but I see little. I’m still confused by what had just happened. Cole had been kissing me two seconds before his girlfriend, who I hadn’t heard of, nor had his family heard of, had showed up at the door. And now they were going to the concert with us tonight.

Kenzie is doing her best to keep me in good spirits…but I’m struggling.

I’m pissed. How could Cole have been so deceitful? I’d asked him about dating at college and he said he didn’t have time with football.

Freaking liar.

I pull out of it and smile when Deklan buys Kenzie a huge bouquet of flowers. Not to be outdone, Ryder buys me a bouquet of daisies.

When we arrive back at Kenzie’s apartment, we put our bouquets in vases. I’m almost disappointed Cole isn’t here to see me walk through the door with flowers from Ryder.

He had left a message on the counter telling Kenzie to give him a call so we could drive over to the concert together.

Kenzie calls him and he’s up the road at a restaurant. He tells us to stay put and he’ll be right here.

I so wish he’d reconsider and just stay home with his girlfriend.

No such luck. Payton is glowing with happiness as they walk in the apartment, hand in hand. She’s changed into a sleek, sexy black dress. It’s very similar to a dress I own, and I’m reminded yet again of how alike we are.

I change into skinny jeans, and borrow one of Kenzie’s shirt that shows off the better part of my back. I finish off the outfit with sexy boots.

My mom would definitely not approve of the outfit.

Kenzie’s does my makeup and it’s difficult for me to look in the mirror. I look different.