Ryker Fallen Angel's MC 3 (13 page)

Chapter 36

With a beer in my hand, I pace back and forth around the main room. I haven’t done anything but drink since we came back. In fact, if one more person tells me to calm down, slow down on the drinks, or asking how I am holding up, I may lose my fucking mind.

Creed has been in his office on the phone and Tank has been doing the same in the other office. Every once in a while they’ll come out and give me an update but for the most part no one knows where Jersey is.

I put in a call to Bone to see if he has any information that he can give me but so far I haven’t heard shit from him. My mind is a complete shit storm and there is nothing I can do about it. I don’t like being in this position.

I pull out a cigarette and light it up before walking out the side door. I need some air.

Taking a deep breath of the cool night air, I scrub my hand over my face. What am I going to do if I can’t find her? What if they hurt her, the baby?

The ache in my chest won’t let me breathe. It tightens and becomes an annoyance I can’t seem to get away from. I hear the door open but I don’t look to see who comes out.

“I’m sorry about Jersey. We’ll find her.” Bella’s little voice comes from behind me as I turn to look at her.

“Thanks sweetheart but I’m not in the mood for talkin’.” Bella giggles slightly before stepping up next to me. I don’t want to hurt this girl’s feelings but I am in no fucking mood to deal with this shit.

“You know she wants the baby to be a boy.” Glancing back over at her, I smile slightly. I didn’t know she was hoping for a boy.

“I didn’t know that.” Taking a long pull from my beer bottle, I look up at the dark night sky. I hope wherever she is that she’s safe.

“Yeah. We talked about it one night. She said she wants him to look just like you. She loves you, Ryker. She’s the best person I know and if I have to go in there to get her out, I will. She deserves to be happy.” I look over and watch a tear slide down Bella’s face but there is also something else in her. She has a warrior’s spirit. She’s a Fallen Angel's. Just like the rest of us, she has lived a hell that no one should have to.

“She loves you too. I’m gonna get her back Bella. I know I tried to stay away from her, but she is mine. I can’t lose her, I won’t.” Bella wipes her eyes roughly before she looks up at me. With her back straightened she swallows hard.

“I know you will but if there is a spot that I’m needed just know that I’m in.” Turning to Bella I grab her and pull her into my chest.

“I know darlin’.” Without a doubt in my mind, I know Bella has turned into a fighter. She is no longer a little girl that doesn’t belong. She has found her place in this club and I am damn proud of her.

Bella and I stand outside for a long time just being in silence. No words were needed as we stood there with our own silent understanding.

I finally made Bella head back inside but my thoughts still wander. It seems a little strange to me the way this all came to be.

Jersey wasn’t supposed to end up with me. She wasn’t supposed to matter to me the way she does.

When I went into that house that night I never thought I’d find the love of my life in it. So broken and abused. She held strength in her, one that took hold of me and wouldn’t let go. Even as I tried to push her away something would always drag me back in. There is no doubt in my mind that Jersey was there just for me. There is no other woman I could want.

“Ryker. Get in here.” Torch stands at the door as I turn to face him.

“They find her?” That’s the only thing I actually give a shit about right now.

“No. We know where the other girls are though.” My heart leaps in my chest when I hear those words. Jersey worried so much about getting the other girls out of there.

“Where?” Storming towards the door, I head down the hall with Torch behind me.

“Looks like they are moving back to the old place now.” Letting out a huff, I walk out into the main room before spotting Tank.

“What is it?” Tank turns to face me shaking his head.

“Looks like they’re movin’ them back to the old house as we fuckin’ speak. We got Griff’s boys on their way over now. Tomorrow at dark we go in.” With a quick nod I grab another beer. A slight relief comes over me before Tank tries to ruin it.

“You ain’t in it brother. Your head ain’t right!” Before I lose my fucking mind I take a long pull from the bottle in my hand.

“Oh, I’m in motherfucker. Jersey wants this shit handled. I’m in.” Before he can say another word, I stomp off to my room.

Chapter 37

I flip and flop not able to sleep worth a shit. I can’t get the thoughts of Jersey out of my head. I don’t know if she’s ok or if she’s comfortable. It makes my nerves fire off all at once and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.

Sitting on the edge of the bed I drag my hand through my hair before sliding the drawer on the side table open. I grab out my cigarettes and light one up before I notice the little notebook. I grab it out and set it on the bed next to me before flipping the pages open.

It looks like a journal or some other girly shit of Jersey’s. Since my mind won’t slow down anyways I decide to look through it.

Second night of being out of that hell hole. I don’t know if I should be dancing with joy or crying. I’m here with Ryker which is only a slight relief. He did come back for me. It just feels like I left one hell for another. I’m so lost and confused. My heart isn’t whole and I hate the feeling. Being in that house though has made me realize who I am. I am nothing. I never was and that’s why my family never wanted me. I think that I’ve come to accept that fact. I can only hope that the time spent here in my new hell isn’t as terrible as the other one.

My stomach falls as I read it over and over. How could she feel like that? A better question is why didn’t I make her feel better about herself? Did I ever?

Deciding to look into the book further I flip to the last page she wrote.

I looked back through my notebook today. I can’t believe the change in me. Ryker gives me so much love that I can barely hold it all. Even when he thinks I don’t notice the little stares and smiles he gives me, I do. His perfect smile melts my heart every time I see it. I never thought I’d find someone like Ryker. So rugged and hardcore but with a heart of gold. He’s like the best of both worlds. My heart swells with pride every time I look at him. I never knew that love could mean so much to me. Here I am in love with a man that put his life on the line for me and pregnant. I never thought he would be happy that we were having a baby but he seems to be. He always makes me feel special. I don’t think I would want to be anywhere else. He is my heart and soul. I don’t know that anyone could be a better father or husband than Ryker.

My stomach bottoms out. I can’t believe that she has all these thoughts about me. I know the way I feel about her but we never really talked about that stuff. I need to make a mental note to talk to her more when I get her back.

When I get her back, that’s the thought that kills my heart. They took away something that means the world to me and now I need to get it back.

I lie back on the bed with my cigarette hanging out of my mouth. Everything I thought I lost so long ago with Beth has fallen into my lap. Jersey is everything I could have asked for. I never figured that I’d have it back. I never realized how much I missed it until I found it in Jersey’s beautiful blue eyes.

Yeah, she’s young but she has a better head on her shoulders than so many of the chasers that come through here. Jersey knows what she wants in life. She knows where her heart and head’s at.

Young or not, she’s mine.

Thinking about those eyes are enough to kill my heart. The way they used to burn into me when she was horny. The way she smiles when she thinks I don’t notice. The way her touch soothes my nerves. I miss it, I miss it all. I want her and I will get her back.

Snuffing out my cigarette, I lay my head back before grabbing Jersey’s pillow. I pull it into my face and inhale deeply before I make a promise to us both.

“I’ll get you out again. I’ll be the best husband and father I can be.” Inhaling her scent once more I close my eyes and prepare myself to do whatever it takes to get her back home and back in my arms.

There is not a single doubt in my mind that I will kill whoever I need to. I will take a life or give my own to make sure Jersey and my baby is safe.

Chapter 38

I wake up early as hell. I hate the feeling I have in my stomach. I want to throw up but I haven’t eaten anything since I found Jersey missing. I can’t seem to force myself to eat. I can drink like a motherfucker though. That’s the one thing that numbs my mind or at least for a little while it does.

I get up and head into the bathroom to take a shower but everything in there is Jersey’s. Her extra clothes that hug her little body. Her shampoo that smells like melons.

Stepping under the warm water I let it flow over me. I just can’t focus on shit.

I quickly climb back out unable to handle all the smells that remind me of her. My mind can’t bear it anymore. I pull my clothes on and head out to the main room.

No one is up this early but me. I walk around looking at the place that’s become my home. This is my family; they mean everything to me.

I grab a beer knowing that it’s too early but who cares? No one understands the feelings I’m having right now. They don’t get what I’m going through. Taking my beer, I head over to the back where the couches are and drop down on one. I drink my beer when I hear someone making noise. Looking up I see Piper as he makes his way out into the main room.

“You’re up a little early yeah?” Piper startles before he turns to look at me.

“What the hell are you doin’?” He narrows his eyes at me as I chuckle slightly.

“Can’t sleep brother.” Piper nods as he turns and makes his way over to me. Sitting next to me he coughs a few times before he speaks.

“I know how you feel brother. Life can kick your ass and throw you down. I know this all too well. I used to love a woman many years ago. She was a cheatin’ little whore.” I chuckle as he reaches for my beer. I always wondered about Piper, but no one ever spoke about it so I didn’t ask.

“Yeah. She was whorin’ with Sharp back in the day. It was a long time ago but she ripped my fuckin’ heart out brother. I know how you feel about that girl I can see it all over your face. If I have to put myself out there for her to come home, you know I’ll do it. She means the world to you, and I’m just an old man. I know you think drinkin’ and shit is the way to hide the pain but it’s not. Your mind needs to be on Jersey and those motherfuckers that took her. I know you can handle this shit brother but I’m tellin’ you I’ll take the son of a bitches down.” Slapping my hand on Piper’s shoulder, I know he would do just that.

“I know that. I plan on gettin’ my girl back though. I think I needed that little pep talk yeah? I need to focus on what’s at hand and make the best plans to get her out safely. You’re right Piper. I’ll gut each and every one of those motherfuckers. No one fucks with what belongs to me. That woman and that baby belong to me. I’ll hunt those motherfuckers to the end of this earth to make them pay.” Piper stands up and smiles as he looks back down at me.

“Now you’re talkin’ like a man. I know you’re a man don’t take that wrong, but you just sat here and said what you needed to do. I can’t say that about all the brothers in this club. I know we all want to jump and run after what belongs to us but you have your head on right brother.” Piper walks away leaving me sitting here alone. My mind wants to wander but I need to hold it in place. I need to be the stronger person and keep my head in the game.

“I’m gonna get you out baby.” I know I look like a crazy man sitting her talking to myself but that doesn’t faze me.

I pull out a cigarette and light it up as I lean my head back and close my eyes.

Her eyes are all that I see but that’s all that I need.

“Why are you up?” Bella’s voice has me snapping my head up to look over at her.

“Couldn’t sleep. What are you doin’?” Narrowing my eyes at her, I wonder what she’s doing out here already.

“Same. I don’t feel so good either.” I start to chuckle when she walks over and sits down next to me.

“Pregnant?” Glancing over at her she shakes her head with a tear in her eye. What the hell?

“If I tell you something Ryker, do you promise it stays with you? I mean it, not dad or Joey. No-one.” I see Bella’s eyes turn to serious and I can honestly say that it scares the shit out of me.

“You can tell me anything Bella.” Bella swallows before she licks her lips, ready to speak.

“I have cancer. I’ve had it for a while. It was in remission but it’s back. There is nothing else they can do to stop it.” Bella wipes her eyes as bile rises in my throat. No, this can’t be happening. She’s so young and full of life.

“Fuck Bella!” Growling I go to pull her into a hug but she doesn’t let me.

“No Ryker. It’s been a long time coming now. I know what my life is and I know my place in it. I don’t want dad freaking out so I never told him. I still don’t so this needs to stay with us.” She looks at me as I shake my head. How can I keep that from him?

“Bella he’s your dad.” She shakes her head as my stomach sinks.

“He has a family Ryker. He deserves to be happy and this isn’t happy. This is a burden. I won’t put that on him Ryker.” Shaking my head, I reach over and grab her pulling her against me.

“How did you get so fuckin’ strong?” Bella giggles into my shirt before I let her pull back.

“Look what I live with.”