Ryker (Kings of Korruption MC Book 1) (19 page)

I want nothing more than to go back to the clubhouse and pound back a few thousand beers, but Tease needs a night off, and I won’t leave her here unprotected.
 
Grabbing the throw blanket off the chair in the corner, I curl up on the couch.

I can hear her sobs coming from down the hall.
 
Laying there, on my shitty couch, in my tiny house, I curse myself for being the one to make her cry – for not being the man she needs.
 
I’m still laying there long after the sounds of her crying end and the sun is rising.
 
Sleep never does come to me.

Chapter Fifteen

Charlotte

Crushed.
 
Smashed.
 
Shattered.
 
I don’t know which word best describes the way my heart feels right now.
 
Last night, when Ryker had told me that he didn’t want me, that I wasn’t good enough for him, I didn’t even argue.
 
What was the point?
 
When he’d called me a mistake and said that I was just a fuck to him, my heart bled.
 

I knew our worlds were different, and I’d been so lost in the amazing way he made me feel, that I’d never stopped to think I wasn’t right for him – that he didn’t feel the same for me.
 
At first, I’d been scared by his club and his way of life, but Ryker had done nothing but make me feel safe.
 
I’d let myself get swept away by that.
 
What an idiot.

I’m also angry.
 
Ryker had played my heart and my body.
 
I wasn’t just some woman he could fuck when he wanted then push to the side when he was done.
 
I will never let myself be that woman – not for anyone.
 
When James had broken up with me, all those years ago,
 
I’d been sad, but it was nothing compared to the heartache I felt when Ryker called, what had been the most amazing morning of my life, a mistake.
 
I’d been a fool to think we’d connected on a deeper level.

After gathering up my bruised and battered pride and telling Ryker to go fuck himself, I’d proceeded to the bedroom, where I had cried until there weren’t any tears left to shed.
 
I would’ve left, but I had no car here, and no way home.
 
I knew if I’d called a cab, he’d refuse to let me leave because for some strange reason, he still wants to keep me safe – to keep his conscience clear, most likely.

I hadn’t slept well and I’d stayed in bed until almost noon to avoid Ryker.
 
It wouldn’t have mattered though because when I came out to use the washroom, he’d been gone.
 
Tease had been in his usual spot, smoking a cigarette on the front step.
 
After a cup of coffee and some toast, which was all my roiling stomach would allow, I went into the bathroom to get ready for work.

I looked like complete crap.
 
It wasn’t hard to tell I’d spent the entire night crying.
 
I made an attempt to fix my puffy eyes, then yanked my mass of dark curls into a messy bun before putting on my scrubs.
 
When I’d come out of the house, Tease had frowned a little at my appearance, then shook his head before climbing onto his bike.
 
Accepting the coffee and toast I’d given him, he’d taken me to work. He then dropped me off without a word, but the way he looked at me appeared almost concerned.
 
I’d forced a smile at him before going into the building.

This brings me to now.
 
I’d had an off day since I’d gotten here.
 
I’d mixed up several charts and fumbled the pills a few times, even going so far as to drop an entire bottle of morphine on the floor.
 
It had taken me almost five minutes to find all of them and put them back into the bottle.
 
Several patients had asked if I was ok when I forgot something or had to keep retaking their blood pressure.
 
My mind was on Ryker and my wounded heart.
 
Finally, after scolding myself for the hundredth time, I decided that Ryker didn’t deserve any more of my head space.
 
I had an important job to do, and I needed to be mentally present for it.

So far, I’m doing well at this, even though my guts are churning and my heart is sad.
 
It’s helped that Jeremy is off today because I don’t think I could handle his kindness.
 
I know he wants to be more than friends and at the moment, I want absolutely nothing to do with any man, including him.

Ten minutes before my shift ends, I get a text from an unknown number.

Unknown:
 
It’s Tease. Got a meeting at the club right after 11.
 
I have to be there.
 
I’ll take you, then Ryk takes you home.

So many emotions from that one text flow through me.
 
Anger.
 
Ryker had given Tease my number because he was so done with me that he couldn’t even be bothered to give me that information?
 
Nervousness.
 
Ryker is taking me home?
 
I don’t know if I can ride on his bike with him again.
 
I don’t even want to see him, let alone wrap my body around his for the ride home.
 
More anger.
 
I’m done staying at Ryker’s house.
 
I know he’s trying to protect me, but I just can’t be around him anymore.
 
He’d told me that Krueger was gone so why can’t I just go home?

I don’t bother replying to the text.
 
Like a good little girl, I climb onto the back of a noticeably worried Tease’s bike and accept the ride to the King’s clubhouse.
 
Tease deposits me on a barstool and wordlessly gets me a cold beer before disappearing into another room.
 
I can hear the sounds of a group of men coming from in there, so I figure that’s where the meeting is happening.
 
I can’t hear what they’re talking about and I can’t say I even care.
 
I nurse my beer and sit, lost in thought about how I can get out of going back to Ryker’s place tonight.

 
“You still fuckin’ here?”
 
Those words said in such a nasty tone cause me to jump.
 
I spin around looking for who spoke them.
 
The club whore from the other day is standing three feet behind me, sneering in my direction.
 
I frown at her, confused.

She takes a few steps and comes right up beside me, pulling the beer from my hand and taking a swig.
 
“Ryker said two nights ago that he was gettin’ rid of you.”

Shocked, I stare at her.
 
Getting rid of me?
 
I knew Ryker didn’t want to be with me, but knowing that he’d said that he was getting rid of me to
this
woman felt like a punch to the gut.
 
And two nights ago was the same day we’d had sex.

She takes another long swig from my beer, grinning when she pulls the bottle from her lips.
 
“Don’t look so surprised.
 
He was balls deep in my pussy two nights ago.
 
That man knows how to fuck like a stallion.”
 
I mustn’t be successful in hiding my shock because she looks at me with a vicious smirk on her face.
 
“You really think he’d want a fuckin’ uptight bitch like you, when he has me to fuck him the way I know he likes it?”

I can’t breathe.
 
Ryker had sex with her two nights ago?
 
I’d spent that night waiting for him to text me back, stupidly thinking we had something special, and he’d been here the whole time fucking Lucy.
 
I’m such an idiot.
 
I swallow thickly, trying to fight the tears back before answering.
 
“Yeah, well … don’t worry.
 
I’ll be gone soon.
 
He made it clear we’re not together.”

She smirks and finishes off my beer, slamming it down on the counter.
 
“Fuckin’ right he did.
 
That’s ‘cause he has me.”
 
She stabs her long, phony thumbnail towards her chest.
 
“He always comes back to me.
 
Keep your fucking hands off my man, bitch.”
 
She puts her face right in mine, her finger positioned right next to my eye.
 
“Or I’ll claw those filthy doe eyes right outta your head.
 
Got me?”

I move to get off the stool, ready to rip this bitch’s fingernails off and shove them up her ass, when Jase comes strolling in.
 
He sees Lucy in my space and scowls.
 
“Luce.
 
Back the fuck off of Charles before I throw your skanky ass out on the street.”

Lucy returns his scowl, but steps away.
 
Looking back at me one last time, the warning clear on her face, she walks to the other side of the huge room.
 
I glare back, fists balled at my side, anger burning in my chest.
 

Jase approaches, an easy smile on his gorgeous face.
 
“Hey, Charles.
 
Don’t let that whore bother you.
 
You just gotta put bitches like her in their place so they’ll leave you alone.”
 
He pauses, looking at me more closely and leans towards me.
 
“You ok, honey?”

I peel my eyes from the back of Lucy’s bleached out head, forcing a smile I know looks as phony as it is and nod.
 
“Peachy.”
 
My voice is hoarse.
 
The emotions tumble round and round in my mind like wet clothes in a dryer.
 
I feel like I’m about to throw up.

Jase frowns and wraps an arm around my shoulders.
 
“Talk to me.”

Before I can respond, Ryker and a few other guys come stalking out of the meeting room.
 
“Charlotte!
 
Let’s go!”
 
Jase glares at him, his frown deepening at the way Ryker had barked at me.

I look up at him, forcing another smile, trying my best to reassure him.
 
“Looks like I’m outta here.”
 
I place my hand on his cheek.
 
“Don’t worry about me, handsome.
 
I’ll be ok.”
 
I give him a wink and move towards Ryker, who stands glaring at us by the front entrance.

***

Ryker

Charlie climbs onto my bike without a word and I take her home.
 
I do my best to ignore how good it feels to have her arms wrapped around me, thighs hugging my hips.
 
The tension between us is like a physical force, laying heavy on my chest.
 
Before getting on the bike, I’d looked into her eyes and what I saw there made it hard to breathe.

Charlie’s usually bright, brown eyes are dull and sad.
 
She averts her gaze immediately, doing everything she can to avoid eye contact.
 
The silence guts me.
 
I couldn’t handle it if she hated me and it crushes me to see her look so wounded.
 
I’d done that to her.

She’s been through so much in the last few days and my actions have only added to that.
 
Her indifference to me is the hardest to take.
 
I can’t imagine being around her while we search for Krueger, and have her look right through me like that; it will kill what little bit of heart I have left.
 
I’ve distanced myself for good reason, but that doesn’t mean she has to hate me.
 
I need to fix this.

After she’s gone to bed, I approach the room, knocking quietly on the door.
 
My ears strain to hear any sign of her from behind it.
 
After a second, she calls out, her voice hoarse.
 
“Yes?”

Pushing the door open slowly, I see Charlie sitting in my bed, wearing a pink tank top and covered to her waist with blankets.
 
The only light in the room comes from the table on her side of the bed.
 
Her side?
 
Funny how quickly we’d developed sides.

 
“Can we talk?”
 
She looks at me, uncertainty and anger swimming in her eyes before she nods.
 
I move to her, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her feet.
 
“Look, I know you’re pissed at me.”
 
She snorts and rolls her eyes before looking back at me, eyebrow arched.

Fuck.
 
This sucks
.
 
My mind races, looking for something to say that’ll take that pained look from her face. “Charlie, I’m just not good with this shit.”
 
I open my mouth to continue, but she cuts me off.

 
“And what shit would that be, Ryker?”
 
She says my name, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
 
I squeeze my eyes closed, taking a deep breath.
 
It wasn’t even three days ago, she was saying my name in ecstasy; now she says it like a curse.

 
“Just … I don’t know.”
 
I spear my fingers through my hair.
 
I’m such a dick
.
 
“I don’t want you to hate me.”
 
She snorts again, but holds my gaze.
 
“It would kill me if you hated me.”
 
I sigh.
 
“Baby girl, I – “