Rystani Warrior 02 - The Dare (33 page)

As he electrified her with his lips and tongue and fingers, she let her tongue dance across his sensitive ridge, determined to drive him into a wild frenzy, pushing him to want her as badly as she wanted him. Yet, wanting to delay the pleasure, to make their loving last as long as possible, she sucked, and stroked and teased, even as the pressure inside her demanded release.

She focused on his tangy scent, his turgid heat, his tight sacs that she lovingly caressed, eliciting a murmured groan. But he never stopped kissing her, and when she couldn’t keep her hips still, he locked her in place with his psi, keeping her exactly where he wanted.

When she thought she could take no more, with his psi, he starting rotating them slowly. Together, he spun them. Dizzy, she closed her eyes and focused on the blood rushing to her breasts, hardening her nipples, then emptying, swelling her
synthari
. The stunning rush of her senses heightened the frantic pumping of her hips. As her blood rushed end over end, her heart pounded to keep up with the frenzied rush—if her mouth hadn’t been so busy, she might have screamed.

Without gravity to distract her, the tug and pull of her spinning flesh encompassed her. There was no dizziness, just the swelling and ebbing of her blood spiraling through into every erotic aching cell that demanded release. Gasping for air, trying to hold on, her heart sang with delight at the pleasure they could take in one another. She basked in the knowledge that her power to excite and arouse him was as total as his over her.

Elated by her conviction that they belonged together, her need to have his arms around her, his
tavis
inside her, had her flipping, twisting in midair, parting her thighs, and wrapping her legs around his waist. Burying her lips into his neck, adoring the feel of her breasts brushing his chest and his strong hands taking control of her hips, she gave herself up to her senses.

With her scent on his lips, his ragged breath in her ear, his
tavis
creating the most delicious friction, she tried to retain every precious sensory detail. His gaze that was as soft as a caress. The urgency in his hands, the tingling in her stomach. The vibrant chord he strummed inside her. Her feelings for him that had everything and nothing to do with reason. His psi that wrapped around her like a warm blanket. Her erratic heartbeat. Her gulped breaths. His husky groan in her ear, his electric tension that inflamed the rising blaze of need that burned white hot in her core. His bursting, shredding, and shattering pleasure that she rode with a joy that seared her heart and made her soul sing.

When her breath finally slowed and her heartbeat once more approached normal, she snuggled against his warm chest, content, and happy. As much as she adored making love, the sweet aftermath was almost as good. She liked pillowing her head on his shoulder, liked the way he ran his palms over her back and bottom, constantly caressing as if he’d never tire of touching her.

Voice husky, he murmured, “There’s something I want to say.”

She opened her eyes and peered into his, which looked too damn serious. If he was going to tell her they had to return to being captain and crew, then he shouldn’t have made love to her. Because she couldn’t go back to pretending she didn’t want him.

“Mmm?”

“Are you sure you’re paying attention?”

She peered at him warily, heart tensing. “Say it already.”

“We should marry.”

Maybe she was still dreaming. Or dizzy after that crazy spinning. She’d thought he said they should wed. She rubbed her brow and the last of her fuzzy passion away. “Did you just say what I think?”

“We should wed,” he repeated, the expression on his face expectant.

Stars! Dora didn’t know what to say. She was at a total loss of words and simply gaped. She’d thought he’d been about to tell her he intended to sever their physical relationship. That they couldn’t make love like they’d just done now that they were back in space. But he wanted to form a permanent union.

He wanted to wed.

But Rystani mated for life.

Stars. Why hadn’t she seen this coming?

“Say something,” Zical demanded.

“I don’t know what to say.” She was shocked, honored, confused. She needed to sort out her thoughts and feelings. She needed to talk to Tessa. But they were too far from Mystique for a real conversation, even through the hyperspace com link, the time lag to a question and reply could be days.

“Say you want to be my wife.” Expectancy kept his voice tight.

“I don’t know if I want to be anyone’s wife,” she said the words, slowly withdrawing from his arms. “I haven’t thought about the future. I’ve been so busy living in the moment, trying to adapt and survive that I just … don’t know …”

Zical’s eyes flashed hurt, then he quickly disguised the hurt with a tough veneer of hardness and a psi thought that clothed him in his captain’s uniform. “Being human is planning for the future.”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

She hadn’t thought past making it from one day to the next. She hadn’t thought past saving Kirek and leaving Kwadii. She hadn’t thought beyond finishing their mission. She hadn’t thought past how much she enjoyed looking at his face, running her fingers through his thick hair, skimming her palms over his muscular frame and how much she liked making love. She enjoyed their conversations. She enjoyed being with him. Why did he have to go and change things between them? But change seemed also to be part of being human, and now she had more to consider than her own wants and needs.

They’d been doing so well as lovers. She’d actually been happy. But she saw that her reaction to marriage hadn’t been one he’d expected and that her uncertainty was causing him pain. His pain hurt her. Odd how that could be so, but she cared too much for him not to try to explain. But she wasn’t sure she could put her confusion into words.

She swallowed the knot in her throat and licked her bottom lip, hoping she could make him understand. “When I was a computer, the present was always filled with billions of bits of new data. With so much to file and learn and absorb, I rarely thought past the present. Since I’ve become human, I’ve had difficulty coping with the moment I’m in. I’m having trouble getting past this mission. To think about my personal future is a whole different process.”

“So marriage to me doesn’t interest you at the moment?” His eyes flashed with hurt.

By the five seas of Jarn, he wasn’t listening. “I have a hard enough time dealing with the present. To take on the future too, the idea of marriage to you is … overwhelming.”

A smile cracked through his pain. “I was hoping you’d say I was irresistible.”

“I need more time. It wasn’t so long ago that I doubted I could live in this body,” she reminded him, trying to chose each word with utmost care. “I thought all the spasms and twitching might be the organs rejecting my soul.”

“Those twitches were likely caused by fear. But as you adjusted, you overcame your fears and the spasms stopped. You’ve come so far. Can’t you take one more step? I know you’re brave. You’ve proved it repeatedly.” He hesitated. “Or maybe you just don’t feel enough passion for me to make our union permanent?” His tone was gentle, but conveyed a world of disappointment.

“That’s not fair. You ask about my feelings without stating your own. You’ve never said more than I have.” She stared at him accusingly. “You’ve said nothing of love or even liking or caring. You simply said we should marry—but there’s nothing simple about your words.”

“Surely you’ve considered that lovemaking leads to marriage?”

He didn’t state his feelings. She resented that he hadn’t even asked her with a question. Almost as if he’d never considered that she would refuse him. She supposed that was typical Rystani male, or maybe that she’d made it clear that she’d wanted no one but him from the start of her life as a woman, but a small part of her wondered if he figured that since she’d once been a computer that she would be so grateful for his offer that she’d immediately agree to the union. More likely he figured that since she wanted to make love to him that she also wanted to wed.

But even worse than his attitude was the fluttery panic in her gut that her decision now affected more than her own life. They had more to discuss, and knowing Rystani custom, he was going to be even more upset with her shortly.

So she didn’t elaborate on what she’d given up to become human. Unless she died prematurely by an accident, she’d given up immortality to live a thousand years. To a computer one thousand years sounded like a short time, especially since there was so much more she wanted to experience. She wanted to visit Earth, Osari, and Scartar. She wanted to see the Federation homeworld Zenon. She wanted to lie on a sand beach under a hot sun, learn to swim in emerald seas, and cook as well as Miri. She felt as though she was just learning to be human. Just learning how to communicate, how to make love, how to reach out to people and enjoy what they had in common as well as the differences. She wanted a few years to be selfish. Was that so wrong?

In her heart, she knew Zical was a good man. “I care more about you than any other man I’ve met. You are honorable, brave, loyal. Special. But—”

“But?”

“I just don’t know if I want to spend all of my life with you,” she admitted. “Suppose we grow tired of one another? Suppose you meet someone else you like more? Suppose I meet someone else I like more? I haven’t lived long enough to know what I want.”

“We would make a good fit.” He stated his case as if they were pieces of a puzzle, inanimate objects.

“A good fit?” Now he’d insulted her, and hurt caused her tongue to loosen. “Do you think I’m so new at being human that I don’t know the difference between getting along well and a grand passion?”

“I didn’t—”

“Please, don’t take this personally, but I don’t know if I want to follow Rystani customs.”

“How else can I take it except personally? I am Rystani,” he said with heat and pride and bitterness, his chin held high, his eyes narrowed on her in fierce concentration as if he feared she might flee at any moment.

“I think of myself as a woman, but not one from any particular world. Your customs … are not necessarily those I would choose for my own.”

He shoved away from her, his expression harsh at her rejection. “If you wish to spend the rest of your life alone, then … I will leave you to it.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Seems to me you’ve made it very simple.”

“What we’ve made is complicated.”

“You don’t want me for a husband. Nothing complicated about that.”

“I need time to adjust to …” She hesitated to tell him more, gathered her courage.

“To me?”

“It’s not always about you.” She flashed her own anger at him, letting her tone bite. “I need time to adjust to … the new life we made on Kwadii. A life growing in my womb.” She curled her hand protectively over her stomach, still in wonder and stunned at what she’d learned just today through her suit. The baby growing inside her was a miracle that changed not just her plans but her every thought. She didn’t understand how she’d become so human, but the baby inside her already dominated her thoughts, colored her emotions, and somehow, someway, she already loved it. Unconditionally.

“What!” Zical’s eyes widened with shock, happiness, worry. His lips softened and then his entire face glowed with joy. “You’re pregnant?”

She couldn’t contain her happy grin. “I wasn’t sure until we returned to the ship, but while we were on Kwadii, we didn’t wear our suits while making love.” She pointed out what should have been obvious. She supposed he’d had plenty on his mind while on the hostile planet and that it was natural for him to have forgotten that the suits prevented pregnancies.

“We’re having a baby?” Amazement rocked him and softened his tone.

“Yes.” Dora had only found out a few hours ago. She’d wanted to tell Zical at a moment when their lives weren’t threatened, when their minds weren’t distracted by the mission. She still wasn’t certain what she thought about becoming a mother. However, her feelings for her unborn child were already as strong as the ones she felt for Kirek, and joy suffused her. However ready she might be to take care of and love this baby, raising a child took twenty years or so, but Zical was asking for centuries.

“Dora, I know you said you haven’t thought about the future, but now you must do so for our child’s sake.”

She tilted her head, surprised at the sudden vehemence in his tone. “What do you mean?”

“A child requires a mother and a father.”

“You’re the child’s father,” she agreed. “You contributed the DNA.”

“Contributing DNA is not enough. A child needs a father’s love and guidance, and not only is it wrong to deny me that role, you must think of what is good for our child.”

“I would never deny you parental privileges.”

Zical came to her and took her hand. “Dora, I thought we were a good fit before you told me the wonderful news. Now, we can be a family. A real family. We should raise this child together.”

Panic caused her to pull away. He spoke of their child in a loving tone and already she sensed his possessiveness. But surely she could be a mother and still do what was best for herself, too? If she felt tied down and limited by a marriage, what kind of mother would she be?

“I’m not sure. I only know that I’m not ready for marriage. I need time.”

“Do you doubt I would care for you and our child?” he asked, the earlier happiness fading to a bleak resignation.

She shook her head, wanting to be truthful, wishing she didn’t feel her throat closing with tightness, her eyes about to overflow with tears, yet knowing her uncertainty would cause additional damage. “I am not sure if I want to link my life to yours forever. I don’t need a man to take care of me.” Her voice dropped to a painful whisper, but needing to be honest. “It is my ability to commit to you that I doubt.”