Sacred Serenity (Lotus House Book 2) (4 page)

“A half?” I looped an arm around her shoulders and leaned into her space. “Is that going to be enough? I know from experience that the food here is special. You’re going to want more of it.”

Her entire body seemed to bristle, but I didn’t let go. “I’m sure you’ve had plenty in the past.” Amber’s gaze shot to Coree’s.

My friend shivered. “Whew. That was cold. Positively frosty. I’ll leave you two to get a table. I’ll have Bethany bring the food out if it’s all the same to you.”

I let go of Amber and put both of my hands on the counter. “Coree…sweetie,” I said, trying to smooth her ruffled feathers.

She shook her head and lifted a hand. “It’s all good, D. Carry on with your date.”

When I turned back to Amber, she was already across the room sitting in the farthest corner possible. Her legs were crossed, and her arms were folded over her chest. If I had a book on defensive postures, that image would be on the cover.

I made my way over to Amber, pulled out the chair, and sat heavily. “That was interesting.”

Amber lifted her chin. “You take your dates here often then?”

“Is this a date?”

Her shoulders seemed to sag, and she let her arms fall to her lap. “I’m sorry. I thought this was something else. Why did you ask me to lunch?”

I grinned, ready to turn the tables on her. “We had our first class. I wanted to get your thoughts on the experience. Answer any more questions. And besides, why would I go to lunch alone when I can sit across from a beautiful woman and share a meal?”

Amber sat back and pushed her hair behind her ear before she leaned an elbow on the table. “So this is a working lunch?”

“Do you work for me?”

I’d have sworn it was like watching a balloon deflate. Amber’s sparkling green eyes dulled, and her face went pale.

“Not really.”

“Amber, I’m just joshing with you. This is most certainly a lunch date. I wanted to learn more about you. Plus, we’re going to be working together for the next several weeks. We need to be able to communicate openly and honestly. Starting with why you were so flustered about Coree.” I laid my hand over hers where it lay on the table. “I didn’t expect that.”

She jerked her hand away and sat as far back as she could, obviously preferring more distance between us. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

At that, I let my head fall backward and laughed. Loud. “Are you kidding? If you had been any more stone cold to my friend Coree you’d have been an iceberg!” I chuckled and propped both elbows on the table. “You obviously picked up that I had a relationship with her in the past. I’m just trying to figure out why that bothers you.”

“It doesn’t!” she countered instantly, her voice sharp as a knife edge.

I huffed. “Really? I thought with your religious nature, you’d be less likely to lie or blow smoke up my ass.”

“Excuse me? I can’t even believe you said that. Look, just because I’m faithful and live my life according to much of the scripture that
He
set forth doesn’t mean I have a weird complex about it. Besides, you were all over that woman, leaning in, letting her touch you. It was embarrassing,” she huffed.

Again, another bout of laughter ripped through me. I hadn’t had this much fun bickering with a woman in ages. Damn, Amber was refreshing.

“Fine. Let’s start over. Can we do that? I brought you here to share a meal. To learn more about you. I thought, perhaps, you’d like to learn more about me. Am I wrong?” I slanted my head and gave her my best puppy dog eyes. I’d been told by women all my life that my eyes were the way to their hearts. If it would help get me back in Amber’s good graces, I’d work with what I had.

She inhaled deeply, licked her lips, and nodded. If she were mine, I’d have leaned over and kissed away any concerns or confusion. But since she wasn’t, I could only imagine what it would be like to tunnel my fingers into her thick hair, cup both of her cheeks, and kiss her until she’d succumbed to the power flowing between us. It would be beautiful. Wild. Untamed. Exactly the type of relationship I’d been searching half a decade for. The one private takeaway from all my studies in the art of Tantra was to never settle. Be respectful of the women I’d allowed in my life or taken to bed, but never commit to anyone with my whole heart and soul who didn’t feel like the one. My other half.

I didn’t know if the woman who sat before me with her stiff upper lip, her quickness to assess a situation, a zealous relationship with God, and her sharp tongue was that woman, but I had a desire to find out.

A
brunette woman
with similar features to Coree’s brought our lunch, setting down the food and a stack of napkins. I promptly grabbed one, unfolded it, and placed it in my lap, smoothing the creases over and over. My nerves were shot. Fear and anxiety crawled up my throat like a spider looking for an exit. I took a deep breath, grabbed my water, and chugged down half of it in several long gulps. The chilly liquid slid down my throat, bringing a sense of calm and serenity with it. That was until Dash set his hand on my knee. The simple gesture burned like a white-hot brand.

“So Amber, tell me about you. What do you do for fun?” Dash bit into his sandwich and waited patiently for me to gather my thoughts. His hand didn’t leave my knee.

I lifted the soup spoon, blew on the creamy concoction before eating it, and tried not to focus on the press of his warm palm to my bare skin. The moment the potato and bay leaf hit my tongue, I had a small reprieve. Scrumptious heaven. I moaned around the spoon as I removed it from my mouth and went for more, still not sure how to respond to his question or find a way to politely move his hand from my knee. Dash didn’t make a sound until I looked up.

“Amazing.” He shook his head and leaned back in his chair. Finally, the hand went with him.

I looked away, feeling uncertain. “What’s amazing? The food? I agree. They really make a stellar homemade soup.”

Dash’s amber eyes deepened into a rich caramel. I could stare into those eyes for days on end.

He smirked and blinked slowly as he seemed to catalog my entire face in one look. “No…you.”

I slurped down another bite of velvety goodness. Briefly, I wondered if they would give out the recipe. Probably not. Trade secret or something. Wait… “Huh?”

“You really have absolutely no idea how beautiful you are.” He rubbed his chin with one hand. “Even the simplest things you do with a grace beyond your years. For instance, the way you delicately hold your hair back as you lean forward over your bowl to eat.” His eyes zeroed in on my mouth. “How succulent your lips look when you blow on your spoon. Makes me want to clasp your neck and do sinful things to that mouth.”

I gasped and dropped my spoon into the soup, proving to be the very opposite of his flattering comment. The spoon splashed into the liquid, plopping generous blobs onto the tablecloth.

Dash didn’t seem to care. His eyes were focused solely on me. It looked like he had given up on his plate altogether to gorge on what I feared had become his new obsession…namely me. With an ease and self-confidence built by years of what I imagined was a whole lot of experience, Dash leaned forward and set his elbows on the table, bringing his face closer to mine.

His voice took on a gravelly, box-of-rocks-rumbling-around quality when he responded. Lifting a hand to my hair, he caressed a lock, rubbing it between his fingertips. The sound of the strands moving against one another was mesmerizing.

“Amber, I’m going to show you how desirable you are. Mark my words, little bird. One day you, too, will see the siren hiding just under the surface. And I want to be the man who brings her out.”

Dash’s scent hovered around me as I breathed him in. Man and musk after a long class, but on him, it was divine. His face was so close to mine, all I’d have to do was close the few inches between us and our lips would meet. But I wouldn’t. I’d never make the first move. Rejection and I were BFFs, and I wouldn’t be able to handle my crush denying me something I’d dreamed of almost every night for the past two years.

Slowly, I backed away, putting distance between us. He grinned and did the same.

“So, back to my question. What do you do for fun?”

“Fun?” I huffed. “This?” I looked around at the environment, watching the people come in and out, checking out what the other patrons ordered for their lunch, avoiding Dash’s gaze.

Dash chuckled, and I swear the sound trickled from my ears and flowed down my chest to knock at the door of my throbbing clit to say, “Anyone home?”

I crossed my legs and sat up straighter, trying to fend off my body’s response to the handsome yoga teacher.

“No really. What do you do? I know you hang out with Viv,” he coaxed.

I shrugged. “Kind of. Mostly, I help her out, spend time with her siblings. Now that she’s pregnant and Trent’s in and out for away games, I mostly just try to keep her busy so she doesn’t worry about him. Ever since she lost her parents, she’s been überprotective of her siblings and now her boyfriend, Trent.”

Dash nodded and finally picked up his sandwich and took another big bite. I liked watching him chew. His jaw working and the muscles flexing in his neck while he ate were heart-pounding and panty-melting. I figured Dash could be sleeping, and I’d be happy just watching him sleep. Everything about him roared masculinity and called out to my most primitive feminine side.

He shook his head and tilted his chin. “That’s not really fun. What do you do for you? How does Amber St. James let loose?” His eyes twinkled.

I smiled and rested my head on my hand. “Honestly, not much. I’m a professional student. I live with my grandparents and go to school full-time.” I huffed. “More than full-time. Usually, I take around sixteen units, but now that I’ve been accepted into the joint medical program between UC Berkeley and UC San Francisco, it will undoubtedly be more of my time than I’m used to.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dash held his hands up in a stop gesture before shaking them. “Seriously, you got into that program? I’ve heard about it. They only pick the elite. The best of the best from the surrounding universities.”

Heat flashed through my cheeks and crept down my neck. I shrugged. “I don’t know. I worked hard. Did well.”

He chuckled. “Uh, I’d say so, Amber. That’s truly an accomplishment. I’ll bet your parents are proud.”

My parents. I attempted a smile that wouldn’t have fooled anyone. “I wouldn’t know,” I finally admitted. “Never met them.”

Dash put down his sandwich, placed his elbows on the table, and leaned his chin on his clasped hands. “Were you adopted?”

I shook my head. “No. My mother died in childbirth. My grandparents raised me.”

His eyelids narrowed, leaving only a sliver of his mesmerizing eyes visible. “And your father? Where’s he at in all this?”

Again I shrugged. “Don’t know. No one does, though I have a sneaking suspicion my grandparents do but plan on taking the information to their graves.”

Dash clenched his teeth. “That’s really not for them to decide.” His words came out short and curt.

Without even realizing it, I reached across the table and grabbed his hand. He held mine instantly. “It’s not a big deal. You can’t miss what you’ve never had, right?”

He brought my hand closer to his face, leaned forward, and rested his lips against the back of it. “In my experience, it’s the road not traveled that we miss the most. The same can be said for lost connections.” His eyes were laser-focused on mine. “I think you do miss them because they are a part of what makes you
you
. The same way the soul calls out for its missing half. It’s why men and women go through so many relationships, because they’re aching for what they’re missing.”

I tamped down the urge to laugh. “You’re referring to soul mates. You believe in that?”

A smile stole across his face, one I could feel against the tender skin of my hand.

“You don’t?” One of his eyebrows quirked up into a point.

I closed my eyes and inhaled slowly. “If it’s true, I haven’t met mine yet.”

“Hmm, that’s interesting. I feel the exact opposite. I may have just recently met mine.”

Ninja quick, I tugged my hand out of his grasp and sat back. “Are you always this forward?”

“Yes. Mincing words is for people trying to hide who they are. Sugar coating, telling people what they want to hear. Moving around what you really want to say is exhausting. I believe in being honest.”

“And you honestly believe we are soul mates?” I coughed and took a sip of my water. My throat suddenly felt as though it was filled with cotton.

Dash crossed his arms, leaned back, and pulled one knee up to rest his ankle on the opposite leg. “I can’t answer that yet, but there’s something here I’m eager to explore.”

* * *

A
fter Dash’s
rather profound statement, his phone rang. Within moments of the call, he’d apologized and taken his leave, claiming it was his publisher, and there was some type of issue with his manuscript. I hadn’t even known he was a writer. Something else I’d have to ask the overly forward Tantric teacher the next time I saw him, which wouldn’t be until Friday’s class. That would be the workshop where I’d have to wear shorts and a sports bra, and Dash’s hands would be all over my bare skin. I could barely stand the heat of his hand on my knee today.

I sighed and pushed open the door to the only home I’ve ever known. My nana calls it a cottage, but I didn’t think a four-thousand-square-foot three-story home, in the heart of Berkeley, walking distance of the university, could be considered a cottage. We were surrounded by thick, luscious trees that had been alive longer than I had. My grandparents had built this house from the ground up back in the day when it didn’t cost an arm and a leg to live in the Bay Area. Now it was worth millions, but they’d never sell. They told me they planned on dying here and leaving me the home in their will. I, in turn, told Nana and Papa to sell it and live like kings in their golden years. They wouldn’t have it.

To this day, my grandfather drove a school bus. That was fun when I was in kindergarten. Not so much when I was in high school. At least Papa was cool to the few friends I had. Mostly, I hung out with Genevieve, the girl next door. We’re only three years apart in age, and since I skipped a grade in elementary school, we had two solid years together in high school. Freshman and sophomore years were my best. After that I hit the books hard, making sure that I was valedictorian and the head of every club that mattered to the Berkeley board of admissions. It had paid off now that I’d been accepted to the joint program.

The joint medical program between UC Berkeley and UC San Francisco allowed medical students to earn their doctorate after five years of hard-core schooling and on-site learning. I didn’t technically need to take the human sexuality course like I’d told Genevieve. To be perfectly honest, I
wanted
to take it. Choosing to remain a virgin didn’t mean I wasn’t curious. I’d never let a boy go beyond kissing in my teen years. When I turned twenty, my hormones were worse, almost as if I needed sexual intercourse or something close to take the edge off. That was when I went out and bought a small clitoral stimulator. A few seconds of that and I soared into the stratosphere on a blissful cloud. Now, though, at twenty-two, I wanted more than sexual satisfaction. I was aching for…companionship. A man I could love, who loved me back. A person who wanted to spend the rest of his life growing old with me and vice versa.

And perhaps yes, like Dash suggested, to find my very own soul mate. Though I didn’t think I’d be finding such a person through a lusty crush on the Tantric yoga teacher. Just thinking about how many women he’s probably been with gave me the heebie-jeebies. He was a Tantric teacher. I imagined they had sex all the time. Probably every day. The woman in the café today seemed pretty familiar with him, and he said he’d “dated” her. Translation: he spent a lot of time under the sheets with her. Heck, Vivvie mentioned many times over the years how desired Dash was by the clientele and the other teachers at the studio. Who was I? A student and a virgin. I didn’t know jack crap about the spiritual Tantric world. I could do yoga with the best of them. Not in a teaching capacity, but wanting to hang out with Viv, I’d spent some free time in her classes. I learned a lot about the practice and the spiritual side. I funneled all that through the good Lord above. While I practiced my poses, I prayed. Worshiping silently in a room full of people has always been a beautiful meditative practice for me.