Sacrifice (21 page)

With my bardic robe draped around my shoulders and my harp in my hands, I marched alone down the hill into the space between the two armies. No one would dare to stop a bard. All the sisters and brothers were watching me from the nearby walls.

I struck the strings of the harp and began to play a somber tune as loudly as I could. When both sides had quieted, I began to sing:

The stories of old speak of men waging war.

Brave men, great men, men of honor.

They feared nothing and bowed to no one.

But they all heard the words of a bard.

“Listen to me, all of you!” I shouted. “I demand that the leaders of each army come to me here with their captains.”

The king and Brion both looked surprised that a small woman with a harp was giving them orders just as they were preparing to fight. Neither side moved.

“If you do not obey me, I will compose a satire on you all. You and your sons for seven generations will bear the shame of defying me!”

The leaders looked at the men beside them and at last signaled their charioteers to move forward to the center of the plain. When they came near and stopped, I spoke in a voice both armies could hear. In bardic school I had been trained to make my voice carry when needed. I knew I had to hold their attention and speak quickly. This was not a time for nuance.

“There is no honor in what you do here today. You fight for a lie!”

There were some angry shouts from both lines, but I spoke louder still.

“You think the druids have murdered the sisters of Kildare, but in fact it was one of their own nuns who killed them.”

There was a gasp from all sides and shouts of disbelief. “Hear me! She wanted to turn all of you against each other. And you have fallen into her trap like rabbits, caught in the snares of a woman.”

I had always found that the best way to stop men from doing something stupid was to play on their pride.

“I will explain everything to your leaders, but believe me when I proclaim on my honor as a bard that the druids had nothing to do with these murders.”

“Even if that's true,” shouted Saoirse's father from his chariot, “blood has been spilled. My warriors were ambushed and killed by the cowards of the western clans. Their spirits cry out for vengeance!”

A shout arose from the men behind him.

“We curse the spirits of your men,” shouted Brion from the opposite side. “They attacked a great druid—your own grandmother, Deirdre. You speak of cowards, but these men have no honor.”

Now a shout arose from the ranks of the western clans. Spears began to pound against shields on both sides. This wasn't going to work. Tempers had gone too far.

“You want blood?” I shouted, raising my arms for silence. “So be it.”

I marched up to King Dúnlaing and spoke to him directly, making sure the whole army could hear me.

“My lord, you are the ruler of this tribe. No man on either side of this field doubts your wisdom and courage. Your eastern warriors demand druid blood, your western clans want Christian blood. I will give you both.”

I drew my sword and handed it to the king.

“This is the weapon my father used to defend this tribe against the Uí Néill. He stood beside many of the elder warriors here today, fighting for the lives of eastern and western clans of this tribe alike. He died so that this tribe might prosper as one people—and I will do no less.”

I took off my bardic robe and spread it on the ground.

“I am both a druid and a Christian,” I shouted. “Let my blood satisfy what you all desire. Let me be the final sacrifice.”

I then knelt on my robes at the foot of the king and bowed my head for the blow that would sever it from my body.

There was a silence across the whole plain. I could feel the eyes of a thousand people watching me, including the sisters and brothers at the monastery. I knew Dari would be there on the walls with Father Ailbe and Sister Anna and the rest of the community. I said a final prayer.

Then the king spoke.

“Deirdre, daughter of Sualdam, the blood of your father truly runs in your veins. Rise and stand beside me.”

I stood up, shaking, and stood next to the king.

“Hear me, all of you, eastern and western clans alike. I am the king of this tribe and I swear by the gods of this tribe that
no blood will be shed today, whether from a bard or a warrior. I pledge to you all my word as king that this ends here, now. There will be no further vengeance by any clan. We cannot weaken ourselves so that outsiders take our land. Divided, we are prey for our enemies. United, we are strong. We are one people and always will be.”

Dúnlaing then walked to the chariot of Brion and stood waiting. The leader of the western clans hesitated only for a moment, then dismounted and stood next to the king. Dúnlaing held out his hand, and at last Brion took it.

A shout arose from both sides, building slowly at first, then echoing across the plain. I could hear the voices of the sisters and brothers on the walls join in. It was a roar that must have been heard all the way to the borders of the Uí Néill. These were brave warriors who would have gladly laid down their lives for their clans that day, but they knew that no one would have prospered from this war. The tribe united was the greatest victory of all.

Chapter Twenty-Six

I
met with King Dúnlaing and the clan leaders in the monastery church a short while later. Father Ailbe and Sister Anna were there as well. Tempers were still raw and there were many questions, but by the end of the meeting I was able to convince everyone of the truth. The king was the last of the nobles to leave.

“We all owe you a great debt of gratitude, Deirdre.”

“My lord, you owe me nothing. It was my honor and duty to serve my king. I only wish I could have found the killer sooner so that there would have been fewer deaths and less grief.”

He smiled and took a magnificent golden torque from his neck and placed it on mine. I tried to protest, but he would
have none of it. He then left me alone in the church with Father Ailbe and Sister Anna.

“Abba, may I see Grandmother now?”

“Of course.”

“Deirdre,” said Sister Anna, “when you are done, please come to my office.”

I went to the infirmary and found Dari resting on a cot. I hugged her as she sat up in bed. It was only then that I had time to realize how glad I was that she was alive.

“You were amazing, Deirdre. Weren't you scared? Did you really think the king would have cut off your head?”

“I was terrified. And yes, I think the king would have cut off my head to save the tribe. I was ready for him to. I would have done anything to stop the chaos that would have come from the war. Thank God, sometimes being willing to die is just as good as the real thing.”

Squeezing Dari's hand one last time, I walked across the room to my grandmother's bed. Her face was even more bruised and swollen than before. She looked as if she were barely hanging on to life. I sat down on her bed and touched her cheek. Her one good eye opened slightly.

“Deirdre?”

“Yes, Grandmother. Don't try to talk. You were badly hurt. You're here at the monastery. Father Ailbe is taking good care of you. You need to rest.”

“Rest. Yes.”

She drifted off to sleep again.

I walked away from her to talk with Father Ailbe.

“Abba, is there anything more you can do?”

He took my hand in his.

“I'm sorry, my child, but I've done all I can. The bleeding inside has stopped, but she was badly hurt and she's not a young woman anymore. It's now in the hands of God.”

He held me as I cried. Dari joined us and hugged me as well. After a few minutes, I pulled myself together.

“I need to go see Sister Anna.”

“What do you think she'll say?” Dari asked. “I wonder if she'll let you back in the monastery. I'd think she would have to, after what you did on the battlefield.”

“I don't think that has anything to do with being a nun,” I said. “Christians are supposed to turn the other cheek, but Sister Anna is not a forgiving person.”

I left the infirmary and walked across the monastery yard. Several of the sisters and brothers came up and thanked me. The abbess had just spoken to them all in the church and explained to them what Riona had done. They were all still in disbelief. The healing would take time.

I knocked on the office door of the abbess.

“Come in.”

I entered and walked across the room to her desk. She motioned for me to sit down.

“Deirdre, I have called you here first to thank you for what you did for this monastery. I still am in shock that Sister Riona was behind these murders, but I will pray that God may yet forgive her for her sins.”

“Yes, Sister Anna.”

“I know that this is not the time for important decisions. You have been through a great deal. The recovery of your grandmother is uncertain. You are exhausted. But you may be wondering if I would allow you to return to the monastery as a nun now that the crisis is over, assuming that is what you want.”

“I bear no ill will against you, Sister Anna. I know I disobeyed you. I have no doubt that I deserved to be expelled from this fellowship.”

“Indeed you did,” she said. “But you may not realize fully why I took the action I did.”

“What do you mean?”

“I was very angry at you. You defied me—and not for the first time. I told you that you would have to choose between being a druid and a sister of Brigid. You have tried to walk a path between two worlds that is, in my opinion, impossible to follow. And yet, as you demonstrated on the battlefield this morning, there may be some advantages to being both a Christian and a druid. I am therefore willing to suspend my judgment on the issue. If you want to return to us, you may.”

“Thank you, Sister Anna. I am grateful that you would allow me to come back. But as you said, this is a difficult time. May I have a little while to consider it?”

“Yes, of course.”

I stood up and bowed, then turned to leave. But I stopped and faced her again.

“Sister Anna, you implied there was some other reason you expelled me from the monastery aside from my disobedience. May I ask what it was?”

“There were two other reasons, actually. The first was so that you might work to solve the mystery of the murders free from the constraints of monastic life. I wanted you to be able to focus all your energies on that task without being a nun. We all suspected that the killer was a druid. I wanted you to have the freedom of a druid as you pursued the killer.”

“Yes, I see. That does make sense, Sister Anna.”

“I'm so glad you agree.”

“But, if I may, what was the other reason?”

Sister Anna stared at me for several moments before speaking.

“I did it to protect you. I knew that a murderer was seeking the lives of the sisters of this monastery. I feared there was nothing I could do to save them, try as I might. The only way I could shield at least one of them was to cast her out, publicly humiliating her so that the whole province would know
she was no longer a nun. I wasn't certain it would work, but I hoped it might.”

I stood there for a moment, not knowing what to say.

“You mean you did it to keep me safe?”

“Yes.”

“But why me?”

“Because you are the most troublesome nun ever to reside inside these walls. If I expelled Sister Darerca or one of the others, the killer might have suspected that I wasn't in earnest. But you—oh, yes—you have been such a well-known thorn in my side that there would be no doubt about my sincerity.”

She continued to scowl at me.

“But more than that, Deirdre, let us say that even an abbess can have her favorite.”

She returned to her desk and began to work on her abacus. I stood by the door with my mouth half open.

“Sister Anna, I. . . .”

“You are dismissed. I have much work to do.”

I bowed again and left, closing the door carefully behind me.

Chapter Twenty-Seven