Sacrifice (11 page)

Father has sworn Matthew Timmons
will save me from the demons of lust that are the curse of my birth. I will do
as he bids, but my heart breaks, for I know I will never again see my beloved
Daniel… Sarah Santiago.
She had been Tabitha and Diego’s first-born
daughter.

Father was right. I am cursed.
My female needs torment me both sleeping and awake. James is disgusted by my
very presence, of course. I cannot blame him for this. I am a blight upon my
family… Samantha Fieldings.
Her husband had been James Fieldings, a
religious and righteous leader of the community at the time.

God save me. I have wed Davis
Eldon as Father ordered. What have I done? I have refused the demand of the one
I love for this life. A life of ease, of all I knew should have been mine, for
what? For the suffering I now endure. What have I done? My heart breaks for my
one true love. My soul aches… Elissa Fieldings Eldon.

They can make me marry as they
please, to satisfy the terms of this insane Trust. But they cannot make me
suffer. Grayson may be the choice of my father, but it is his brother,
Lawrence, to whom my heart and body belongs. I will not suffer the fate of
those before me. I will know love, if only in the darkness of the night and the
sheltering arms of deception… Karen Eldon Marshal

If only I were as strong as my
parents. They loved, they laughed, and they knew at least a small measure of
happiness. The man I loved, precious Kimmie, I won’t say his name. He was not
your father, he was never my lover, and as your father was prone to remind me,
he preferred the money. I am too weak, and I know I will not survive this
illness. Should I die, then Briar Cliff and its protection falls to you. All
that the women of our line have dreamed of falls upon your shoulders, my
precious daughter. You can have it all. It can all be yours, just as it was
meant to be. But for what? You are inheriting generations of pain, anger,
deception and tears. It is truly a curse, and one I pray you deny. Love,
Kimmie. Laugh. Let your heart be free and your body be your own. A house, no
matter how beautiful, or how priceless, will ever take the place of those
things.

I hope you are reading this
diary, that you have read those who have gone before, now that I myself have
passed on. I hope that the years you have spent away from this house, from me,
have given you a chance to grow strong, to break away from the curse this house
brings.

So many years I refused your
father the truth he often pleaded for. He wanted only to know that you were his
true daughter, and I, in my selfishness, refused him that. I realize now, as
the end draws near, that I leave you alone, where before I had thought I would
be here to see you triumph. I leave you alone. Without the father who perhaps
would have treated you with kindness had I not driven the wedge between you.

I suffer now for my selfishness.
No, not I, for I will pass on. But I go, knowing I will never rest, because you
shall now suffer.

Briar Cliff is the curse,
Kimmie, not your desires or your femininity or your gentle heart. It is this
estate, and the past that has cursed us all… Claire Marshal Madison.
It was
dated the week of her death.

When Kimberly looked up from the
final diary it was to see that night had overtaken the house. The light beside
her glowed eerily, a single point of illumination within to emphasize the
darkness that surrounded not just the estate, but her soul as well.

She had been away at school when
her mother had become ill, and she hadn’t been called home until the last
moment. She had believed for so many years that it had been her father’s
decision to keep her unaware of her mother’s health. But now she knew the
truth. It had been her mother’s.

They had both deceived her, had
used her as weapon, one against the other until nothing had been left of the
child in their eyes. She had been a sword and she had been the one to suffer.

She wanted to scream, to rage, to
destroy the house brick by brick until nothing remained of the agony that
resonated through her body. She wanted nothing more than to wipe away the
memories of a past that should have never been.

She was crying. She wiped at her
cheeks as she closed the diary and laid it beside those she had glanced through
before. She stared around the library. Centuries of books graced the shelves
and Kimberly knew that many more were in storage. Books that museums would
salivate over. In five years, they would have been hers. It would have all been
hers.

She shook her head tiredly as she
rose from the chair, staring around her as the tears continued to dampen her
cheeks. She had been denied her mother as well as her father because of this
place. The scars on her soul that her parents had placed there through her
younger years would never completely fade. She would never forget that her
father’s hatred of what her mother had done had extended to her. She would
never forget that the mother she had loved, had trusted and believed in, had
used her as well.

But was she any better?

She had sacrificed her life, six
long years to the battle lines that had been drawn six generations before.

She had walked away from Jared.

A sob racked her body, shuddering
through her as pain sliced through her chest. An agonizing burst of
never-ending regret shook her, causing her breath to catch as a low, racking
moan escaped her. She curled into herself, her arms wrapped around her stomach
as she whispered his name.

God, it hurt. It tore through her,
echoing through her soul and ripping wide the door she had closed on her heart
so long ago. Even before she had learned the terms of the Trust. Before her
father had demanded the exams. She had closed herself off from any chance of
heartache or pain to ensure that what had happened to her mother could never
happen to her.

She had been determined to never
love. But Jared has sneaked into her heart with his crooked smile and his
stormy eyes. His determination and sheer male presence had stolen past her
safeguards and marked her forever.

There had been no jealousy when he
had caught her at The Club. There had been only fiery heat and overwhelming
hunger. He had catered to her every desire on the ranch, giving her the gift of
his touch, his desire…his unspoken love. And he had never demanded more from
her than she had thought she could give.

“Kimberly, you’re breaking my
heart.” His voice washed over her senses, a figment of her imagination, a
condemnation for walking away from him?

“Baby, you can’t cry like this,
you’ll make yourself sick.”

She jerked in shock when she felt
his hands grip her shoulders and draw her forward. Her eyes flew open and there
he was. His gaze a million shades of gray, lines bracketing his mouth, sorrow
in his expression as he drew her to his chest.

“Jared…” She cried out his name,
her hands reaching for him, clutching at him as his arms tightened around her,
pulling her into his arms as he rose so he could lift her before taking her
place in the chair.

She was cradled on his lap, her
head buried in his neck as he soothed her. Soft, broken words in a voice ragged
with emotion.

“Baby, it’s okay,” he whispered at
her ear before he placed gentle kisses along her brow. “It’s okay, Kimber.
You’re not alone anymore.”

He had promised he would always be
there, and now, when she needed him the most, he was there. He was holding her,
his arms sheltering her, his kisses soothing the gaping wound that had grown in
her soul.

“Why are you here?” She tried to
stem the tears, but they refused to be held at bay.

Jared sighed roughly. “Mother
called when you came for the key last night. She was worried about you.”

Kimberly nodded jerkily. Carolyn
had watched her too closely and Kimberly had known there was no hiding the
proof of the tear-filled nights she had spent since leaving the farm.

She was raw from the inside out.
She couldn’t sleep for dreams of Jared, couldn’t get through the day without
his name coming to her lips. Without crying for all she had walked away from.

“I don’t want it,” she finally
whispered. “This place. This legacy, Jared. I can’t…I don’t want it.”

She felt him tense, felt his arms
tighten around her.

“Five years isn’t so long…” She
heard the pain in his voice, heard all the needs that she felt in his soul.

Raising her head, she lifted her
hand and placed her fingers against his lips. He stared back at her silently,
though his eyes raged with emotion.

“I won’t ask for promises,” she
whispered. “I don’t want them. Yet. But I need this, I need you now. Just like
this.”

His smile, God, she loved his
smile, even covered by her fingers as it was.

“I told you,” he growled roughly.
“I’ll be here Kimber, whenever, however you need me. That’s not a promise. It’s
a fact.”

He drew her back to his chest,
tucking her head beneath his chin as the tears finally eased.

“Just rest, baby,” he said then.
“Right here, in my arms. Just let me hold you…”

Night moved on, yet Jared never
released her. They spoke in hushed whispers, and he listened in silence as she
told him of her childhood, of her lonely years in boarding school.

He laughed with her when she told
of the pranks she often pulled on the good sisters who ran the school. He
hugged her tight when she related the punishments that she considered a fair
trade for the fun she had managed to eke out of those years. And he rocked her
tenderly when she related the horrifying event of arriving home within hours of
her mother’s death.

Finally, her eyes closed wearily
and sleep claimed her. And Jared still held her, watching her tenderly, his
heart breaking for the loneliness she had endured even as his soul swore she
would never know it again.

Jared drove her home the next
morning after arranging for someone to bring her car in behind them. He held
her hand through the hour-long drive, allowing her to sit in silence until they
pulled into her driveway.

Kimberly stared at the little brick
house, realizing that it had been more of a home to her in the past six years
than Briar Cliff ever had been.

“Come in with me,” she whispered.

She didn’t want to let him go. She
didn’t want to face the loneliness awaiting her.

Jared sighed wearily as he lifted
her hand to his lips, placing a gentle, destructive kiss in the center of her
palm.

“I don’t have that much control
today, baby,” he whispered. “I don’t think either of us do.”

She turned her head, staring at his
exhausted face and seeing the same needs swirling in his gaze that burned in
her body.

“I’m not asking for your control,
Jared,” she whispered. “I don’t want it…”

He shook his head, stopping her
flow of words.

“No, Kimber,” he said tenderly. “I
won’t let you make this decision while your emotions are this ragged. Go inside
and rest. I’ll see you in a few nights, I promise.”

She would have argued with him, she
would have pressed him for more, and she knew eventually, he would give in. But
if he did, he would never be certain that the decision she had made in the
deepest part of the night was made with her heart and not with her pain.

She nodded slowly. “I’ll hold you
to that.”

He smiled that special smile. “You
won’t be able to keep me away.”

He leaned to her, his lips touching
hers, the restraint he used evident in the tense lines of his face and the darkening
of his eyes.

“Soon,” she whispered, pulling back
before hurrying from the car.

She had an appointment to make, and
she was more than eager to finish it and to begin the life she prayed was
waiting for her.

She faced him, her father, Senator
Daniel Madison in the offices of Caruthers, Brickley and Morton, the Estate
lawyers who had handled the Briar Cliff Trust from the beginning. Actually, it
had been Caruthers senior who had first put together the original Trust. It was
his great grandson, Caruthers IV who now faced her from the head of the antique
cherry wood conference table.

Across from her sat her father and
Attorney Brickley. Morton sat at the other end with a stenographer off to her
side.

“Let me get this straight, Ms. Madison,
you are rescinding all claim to Briar Cliff, effective immediately?” Brian
Caruthers asked her sternly. “This isn’t a decision to make lightly, young
lady. This is centuries of preservation we’re talking about. A heritage anyone
can be proud of.”

“Proud of?” She flicked the lawyer
a glance before returning her gaze to her father’s silent face. “I’ve endured a
physical exam every three months to prove my eligibility to hold Briar Cliff.
My life, my every move is under scrutiny. I have no pride in Briar Cliff.”
There, she had said it.

She watched her father’s eyes widen
marginally before they narrowed in censure.

“She has obviously broken the
conditions and doesn’t want to admit it,” he finally snapped.

Kimberly smiled sadly. Somehow, she
had known that would be his first defense. She reached into the briefcase she
carried with her and pulled free the doctor’s report.

“I saw Dr. Morgan first thing this
morning,” she said softly. “Here are the results of those tests.”

She slid the paper across the
table. She knew what it said. The hymen was still intact.

He slid the paper to the lawyer
next to him.

“What are you up to?” he growled,
his hazel eyes accusing, censorious. “A year ago you sneered in my face and
swore I’d never live a night in ‘your’ home, as you called it.”

Kimberly drew in a deep breath as
she watched the man who should have been there for her graduation and wasn’t.
Who should have cared the first time she was wounded during an assignment, but
hadn’t. The man who should have shared in her joys and her fears, yet he never
had.

“I wish I had been given the chance
to love you,” she whispered then, ignoring the shock on his face. “I wish the
Estate hadn’t stood between us, and that your own morality and beliefs hadn’t
eroded what could have been, Father. I wish I could have been the daughter you
needed, instead of the tool for revenge that you and Mother turned me into.”

He paled. She watched his swarthy
expression blanch and shook her head wearily.

“The Trust ends in five years, Ms.
Madison,” Caruthers reminded her. “Whatever has fueled this decision can surely
wait that long.”

Make Jared wait? She didn’t have
the patience.

“I have a life to plan,” she said
firmly. “Briar Cliff won’t be a part of it, because after tonight, I’ll never
pass another of those asinine exams.” She flicked her fingers towards the
report. “Five years is too long to wait to tell him I love him.”

“No!” Her father’s hand smacked
imperatively against the pristine polish of the table, the crack resounding
around the room as Kimberly flinched at the fury of the sound. “I won’t allow
you to make such a foolish decision. It’s Jared, isn’t it?” He sneered the
name, his eyes piercing her with his anger. “The little bastard has somehow
corrupted you…”

“Enough.” Kimberly stood to her
feet, pushing her chair back as she faced her father with her own growing
anger. “You have it, Father. All of it. Content yourself with that.”

“I won’t let you whore yourself to
him and his friends,” he snapped, coming to his feet as well. “Do you think I
don’t know he belongs to that depraved club?” he spat out. “That I’m unaware of
his practices, his lifestyle. Are you insane, girl?”

She lifted her chin, staring back
at him with a strength she had never known she possessed. His rages had always
terrified her; his harsh words had never failed to rip through her heart. Now,
she felt only sorrow, only pity that it had come to this.

“No, I finally found my sanity,”
she said softly. “You can have the papers mailed to me, Mr. Caruthers,” she
informed the lawyer. “My time here is finished.” She turned back to her father,
allowing her regret, a lifetime’s worth, to fill her face and her voice.
“Goodbye, Father.”

She moved away from the table,
heading for the door, for freedom. She could feel her heart lifting, her soul becoming
lighter with each step.

“Kimberly.” Her father’s voice
stopped her as she opened the door, imperative, demanding.

She turned back to him slowly,
seeing so many things she had missed before. Her father had aged in the last
six years. He was only fifty, but he looked much older, more bitter than she
remembered.

“If you walk out that door you lose
it all,” he reminded her. “Everything.”

She smiled tiredly. “No, Father. I
win,” she said simply.

He sneered slowly. “You’re just
like your mother.”

Kimberly ignored the pain at the
implied insult.

“No, I’m not,” she replied slowly.
“I’m stronger than she was. I’m stronger than both of you were, because I’m not
willing to sell my soul for a piece of land that will neither keep me warm at
night, nor love me in return. Unlike you and Mother, I’m not willing to turn my
back on love for profit. That was your curse, it won’t be mine.”

She left before he could reply,
before he could hurl the insults she could see gathering on his face. She
walked from the offices into a day filled with sunshine and hope and ran toward
her future.