SACRIFICES (23 page)

Steve breaks down in to a screaming cry. He can’t hold back the tears. Todd stands up and walks over to Steve and places his arm around him assuring him that it’s going to be ok, just take your time. Steve stands up and walks over to the sink and cups his hands and splashes water into his face. He’s breathing rapid and his eyes are bloodshot. The two officers are having a difficult time listening to this story about this couples demise. But it has to be told.             

              Steve composes himself and walks over to where Todd and Brad are seated and undoes his belt. He lowers his trousers to his knees and slightly lifts his boxers to show the two officers his scar. Both Todd and Brad look and Todd says. “What happened next?”              

              Steve pulls his pants back up and retakes his seat. “After Tom raped her with the bottle, when he’s done he walks over and slaps hands with Scott then Tom pulls up his pants. Scott decides...
that fucking piece of shit
...” Steve closes his eyes and grits his teeth. “…that this wasn’t enough to rape her like this so he takes the empty bottle off the ground and hits her in the back of the head with it. It didn’t bust after the first hit so he did it again and again until it busted. It makes a deep gash in her head that just starts to squirt blood and run down the side of her face. Then he takes the jagged part of the bottle that’s still in his hand and runs it down her back. Blood was everywhere. That must have really excited him seeing her in such agony because after busting the bottle over her head he hurried up and got behind her to...to...finish raping her.” Steve sighs loudly and wipes away a few more tears. “As he climaxes he starts beating her in the back with his fist and yelling. She’s crying and screaming and I could tell that they probably broke some of her ribs because it seemed like she was having a lot of trouble breathing, but Tom and Scott just laughed. I have never seen anyone have so much fun hurting someone so bad. Scott stands up and staggers over to the cooler and begins to chug a beer. Then he says to Loomis and Stein. ‘Go get a couple shovels out of my pick up.’ I’m lying there with blood on my face and my leg bleeding.”              

              Todd sits there breathing heavily as he hears this violent graphic reenactment. Brad notices that Todd’s hands are completely white from holding his hands so tight. Neither officer has every heard such a horrible story in all of their lives and they feel sick to their stomachs.

              “The two guys later told me when they went to get the shovels they almost decided to leave and not come back. But they knew the girl was still alive and so was I. They considered using the shovels to knock out Tom and Scott...”               Todd stands up. “Do you want to take a break?” Feeling like he needs some air and thinking that he might vomit.

              Steve nods his head and says. “No. I want to tell you what happened and then never think about it again.”

              Brad looks at him and says. “I can’t help but notice that you have such a vivid memory of all of the details as well as the conversations that took place over sixteen years ago.“

              Steve wipes his nose and explains. “Mr. Jostler this event is in my mind twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Every time I go to sleep and every time I wake up that poor girls’ blood covered face and body is etched in my mind, I hear her screaming and crying, I can still see her swollen bloody face. I live everyday knowing that I watched her being brutally raped and beaten and did nothing to help her it never leaves me. And
that
guilt I carry with me everywhere I go...that event I remember better than what I did yesterday.” Brad nods his head in an almost understanding way.

              Steve pours himself some more Jack Daniels into his diluted drink and takes a few big swallows. He sits the glass down and says. “Then Tom and Scott told Loomis and Stein to walk into the woods with them. It was just out of view of the fire. But I could still hear them. I wasn’t sure if they were going to be killed. Beth is still bent over the tree covered in blood; I don‘t think she could physically move by this point. They beat on her more than I’ve ever seen anyone beat on before then they...raped her like they did. Her head and back have blood running from the cuts and her legs and hips have bloody hand prints all over them from what they did to her with the empty bourbon bottle. She looks at me with tears running down her face. ‘Please help me, please.’ She could hardly get the words out, it looked like her jaw was busted in half and they knocked out almost all of her teeth. I tried to stand up but my leg wouldn’t let me. She’s gasping for air and her poor beautiful face is swollen worse than I’ve ever seen in my life…” Steve wipes a few tears and swallows hard. “…Scott and Tom walk back to the fire and say. ‘After they dig the hole we’ll be ready to go.’ I said ‘what are they digging the hole for?’ The two guys just chuckle and say. ‘We can’t leave a witness. You ought to know better than that. You’re the pre-law Major Steve. What are you fucking stupid?’ Then after a short walk back Loomis and Stein walk toward us. They look scared. They ask me if I’m all right and then Scott says. ‘Tom you carry the bitch over to the hole and you two help Steve.’ I wasn’t sure if they were going to kill all of us or just the girl. But I’m in so much pain I can hardly move. So we all go over to the hole. Tom throws the Beth in the hole and Scott throws Troy on top of her body. She’s still crying and the two guys’ just laugh about it. Scott and Tom act like they were possessed. Tom takes and pulls out his gun and gives it to Scott. Scott fills each chamber with a bullet from his pocket. He spins the chamber and hands it to Stein and says. ‘Shoot.’ Stein says. ‘What?’ Scott slaps him with the back of his hand right across the face. ‘Shoot the gun into the hole.’ Stein says. ‘No I can’t do this.’ Scott takes the gun and places it into his mouth and says. ‘You boys are going to shoot the gun into the poor helpless victims. That way if any of you pussies ever get up the nerve to turn us in you’d only be turning yourself in. You’re just as guilty as we are. So shoot the fucking gun before I make you suck the barrel and blow your brains out you fucking faggot.
SHOOT IT!
He screamed. Stein looks at me and I look away. I didn’t know what to say or do. Stein takes the gun and shoots it into the hole. The girls crying stops instantly, he must have hit her in the head or something because she went from a loud screaming and crying to nothing, just complete silence. Scott starts to jump up and down and says with a huge smile as he moves toward the hole and looks. “Stein, look what you did. You just killed that poor girl. Tom and me banged the shit out her. But we didn’t kill her. No, no, no. You did your a killer now. Now you’re a fucking killer. I think you blew her fucking brains out…” Those two scumbags bent down and tried to see where he hit her and both start laughing. “…you’re a good shot Alex; I
think
you shot her in the face…” They started giving each other high fives as Alex falls to his knees and vomits uncontrollably. Now they give the gun to Loomis and he points the gun and looks away as he shoots and then he starts to vomit. That shot I think hit the guy because his body moved a little. I didn’t want to watch but I couldn’t help it. It was so unbelievable it seemed surreal. Then they give me the gun and I give it back and Tom grabs me by the leg and starts to squeeze the spot where the bullet was lodged. Then he punched me in the leg. I fell to the ground and Tom pulled me back up and whispers. ‘Shoot the gun or I’ll shoot you again. And the next time I might blow your brains out you fucking faggot cock sucker.’ I take the gun and shoot it into the hole. I only hit dirt so Scott says. ’Do it again. You have to hit flesh.’ So I shoot it again and my bullet hits the back of Troy’s head.

              I start to cry. Scott and Tom laugh even harder.

They order Loomis and Stein to fill in the hole with dirt and place some branches over it. Before they do they take all of the belongings of the girl and Troy and put it in the hole as well as the gun.”

              Todd interrupts and asks. “What happened when the hole was covered?”

              Steve exhales and says. “Scott and Tom told us as we stood by the fire that if we ever talked about this to
anyone,
not even amongst ourselves, that they would kill us. They even said if we ever said a word not only would they kill us they would kill our mothers our fathers our grandparents, uncles and aunts. If we had brothers and sisters they would die too. They made it clear that we would be sorry. They also said with the connections they had with ‘certain people’ if we talked we’d vanish from the face of this earth. And to tell you the truth when I first heard about Tom and Scott being killed I actually felt a sense of relief. Almost like a huge weight had been lifted. It was only then that I felt I was truly safe.”

              Brad says. “How did you explain the cuts and bruises and the gunshot wound?”

              Steve shakes his head. “That was easy. Tom’s mom was a nurse. I went with him to his house and his mom took care of it.”

              Todd asks. “Didn’t she want to know how it happened?”

              Steve explains. “He told her I was messing around with a gun and didn’t realize it was loaded. He also told his mom to not say anything about it to my folk’s because I’d be in a lot of trouble. So she played it cool and went along with it. I went to her house every other day for a week. My leg was fine after she took care of it. I mean besides the scar I still have.”

              Brad then asks. “If we were to contact Tom’s mother would she verify that story about your gunshot to the leg and how she fixed it?”

              Steve shakes his head and says very adamantly. “Yes she would absolutely.”

              “How did you explain the limp you must have had?” Todd inquires as he looks at Steve’s angle on the story.

              Steve smiles and says. “We were football players. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for us to limp. In fact it was pretty normal.”

              “Oh yeah I can see that.” Todd nods his head still feeling sickened by the story.

              “Now Mr. Steve Howard is there anything else you’d like to say about the events that you just described and are willing to sign an affidavit as to the accuracy of your statements?” Todd asks as he reaches for the recorder.

              Steve nods his head and says. “Everything is true. And I’ll sign anything. And the other thing I’d like to say to everyone is I greatly regret that I didn’t do anything about this and I let it happen. I wish I could go back in time and save those kids.”

              “Mr. Howard is willing to go with Mr. Jostler and me to Champaign today and show us the location of the bodies. Are you sure you’ll be able to do so?”

              Steve nods his head and says. “Yes, I want to cooperate anyway possible. And I’m real confident that I can find the location.” Steve sighs as if he just lifted a huge weight off of his shoulders.

              Todd reaches for the recorder and says. “It is 11:56 am July 23, 2001 from the residence of Mr. Steve Howard of Bloomington, Illinois. I’m turning off the tape now and marking this exhibit HC.” Todd presses the button and looks at Brad.

              He takes the tape out and places it into an envelope and then tucks it into his briefcase. Brad stands up and walks over and shakes his hand. Todd shakes his hand and when Mr. Howard releases his hand he says. “I feel better now that I told my side of the story, it‘s been killing me keeping this secret.”

              Todd nods his head and says. “I can imagine, now this is for your own safety.” Todd reaches for his cuffs and snaps it over his wrist. “You have the right to remain silent...”

              Steve steps back with horror in his eyes. “
What’s going on?”

              “...Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an…”

              “…What’s going on? I don’t understand.” Todd continues to place the cuffs on him and finishes reading him his rights.

              Brad looks at him. “I do believe your story. I really do. But the truth is you’ll be safer now in custody after you show us where the bodies are.”

              “Am I going to jail?” He asks trembling.

              “A Judge will decide that. If what you say checks out the judge might take it into consideration. I believe what you told us.” Todd looks away with his face bright red and Brad takes a deep breath.

                 “I told you before we started I would do what I could to help you and I will, I don‘t break my promises. Now the best way to help you now is to get you and Stein to a maximum-security place to keep you safe,”

              Steve interrupts quickly. “What are you talking about? You said Stein was dead, you said he got cut up real bad and gutted remember.”

              Brad nods his head.
“
I lied.”

              They escort Mr. Howard to their car. They don’t tell the other officers much except for them to keep up their duty because Mrs. Howard was going to be remaining at home. The other officers don’t question Brad or Todd. The guys just smile and say. ‘Yes sir.’ They let Mr. Howard place a coat over his hands so no one sees him in the cuffs and they tell him he can call his wife later to explain. They also ask him what his wife is going to think after she hears. Steve doesn’t answer. He probably realizes that his marriage is over and so is his life as he knew it.