Authors: Joan Jonker
Mary Ann was thinking that you learn something every day. This young girl had had to claw her way out of a cesspit and had come out with honour. ‘I believe yer, girl, and I admire yer for telling me all this. What I want to know now is, where does this Geoff fit into it? Are yer serious about him?’
Sadie gave a very definite shake of her head. ‘He’s a nice bloke, is Geoff, a real gentleman. But I don’t want to be serious with any boy. Me dad has put me off men for life.’
‘Oh, dear, what a terrible thing for a young girl to say. You just wait until the right one comes along and yer’ll soon change yer tune.’
‘I don’t want to, Mary Ann! I don’t want to get too close to anyone in case they turn out like me dad and I end up like me mam. Oh, I’ll go out with boys and I’ll use them to get enough money to move from a hell on earth to a nice home. But I won’t steal the money from them and I won’t lead them on to think they’re going to get something they’re not. I’ll be straight with them all along the line, so they have a choice.’
Mary Ann’s heart was heavy. The father and mother of this girl had a lot to answer for. And she hoped that some day they’d be made to pay for their sins.
Sadie anchored a lock of hair behind her ear as she hurried down Everton Brow. She’d tidied herself up as best she could but she still felt grubby. It was amazing how dirty your hands could get handling money. Tony from the shoe stall brought water with him every day which he boiled on a primus stove to keep him going in cups of tea, and he’d given her the drop he had left so she could wipe her face over with a piece of rag. He said she looked good enough to him, so did Mary Ann, but Sadie wasn’t happy with her appearance. She wasn’t very happy thinking about her financial situation, either. At the rate she was saving now it would be months before she had enough for what she wanted, and the thought of those long months spent suffering verbal abuse from her parents and sister filled her with despair. She’d racked her brains thinking of ways to make money, but ended up none the wiser. The only two people who could help her were Harry and Geoff, and her mind balked at the idea of asking them for more than they were giving now. She had come up with several ideas on how to get money out of them but didn’t think she’d have the nerve to go through with it when it came to the push. They were two nice blokes who had been good to her and it wouldn’t be fair to play a dirty trick on them.
As Sadie neared Everton Valley her thoughts raced. She couldn’t bear to live at home much longer; she’d rather walk the streets. It was bad enough living in filth and having foul language bawled at you, but having to witness the blatant wickedness of her parents and sister was more
than
she could bear. They didn’t even try to hide what they were doing from her or the other children. In fact, Dot seemed to be proud of her new status, strutting around and lording it over everyone like an old married woman of forty, instead of a fourteen-year-old girl.
Sadie spotted Geoff leaning against the wall of the pub and waved. He would give her the money if she explained why she wanted it, same as Harry would. But how could she explain? How would she find the right words without feeling humiliated and ashamed?
‘Hello, love.’ Geoff wore a broad smile as he took her hand. ‘I was beginning to think I’d been stood up.’
‘I wouldn’t do that to yer. If I didn’t want to go out with yer at least I’d have the decency to come and tell yer.’
‘Yer face is red, have yer been running?’
Geoff didn’t hear Sadie sigh as she told herself that if she was going to lie then now was the time to start. ‘I went into town, window shopping, and didn’t realise how late it was. I’m sorry if yer’ve been waiting long.’
‘That’s all right, we’re only going to the Astoria so there’s no panic.’ Geoff cupped her elbow as they crossed the main road and when her high heel got caught in the tram lines he tightened his grip to save her from tripping up. ‘How you girls wear those blinkin’ high heels I’ll never know. It’s a wonder yer don’t fall and break yer neck.’
‘Oh, come on, now. Yer must admit a girl looks better in high heels than flat ones.’
‘You’d look nice in anything, Sadie – even a sack and a pair of clogs.’
‘I saw something in town today that I’d look nice in.’ Sadie was glad he wasn’t looking into her face to see the tell-tale blush. She was getting a dab hand at lying, but she didn’t like it. Still, this was a means to an end. ‘It was in Etam’s window and I must have stood for half-an-hour looking at it with me tongue hangin’ out.’
Geoff released his hold to reach into his pocket for money. ‘Oh, aye, what was it?’
Don’t look at me, Geoff, Sadie said silently, please don’t
look
at me. ‘It was a lovely pink underskirt with white lace around the bottom.’ It was the only thing she could think of that, if her scheme worked, he wouldn’t ask to see. ‘I went all dreamy just lookin’ at it.’
Geoff left her to go to the ticket kiosk, and when he came back he asked, ‘Why didn’t yer mug yerself?’
‘Mug meself on my money? It cost two and eleven!’
They entered the darkness of the picture house and followed the usherette’s torch to seats on the back row. When they were settled, Geoff whispered, ‘I’ll mug yer to it.’
‘Oh, I couldn’t let yer do that!’ I’m a hypocrite and I’ll never go to heaven when I die, Sadie was telling herself when a picture of old Sarah flashed before her eyes. She needed that old lady more than she’d ever needed anyone. Needed the warmth, love, respect and decency. ‘No, I couldn’t let yer do that.’
‘Don’t be daft. What’s wrong with a feller buying a present for his girlfriend?’
‘I haven’t known yer long enough to be yer girlfriend. Yer might get fed up with me in a week or two and yer’d have wasted yer money.’
‘I won’t get fed up with yer, Sadie. It’s more likely the other way around. Let me buy it for yer, go on – please?’
Sadie appeared to be considering. ‘I’ll borrow the money off yer and pay it back when I’ve saved it up. How about that?’
‘Will I heckerslike take money back off yer. What sort of a bloke d’yer think I am? Buy me girlfriend a present and then take the money off her! I may be many things, Sadie, but tight-fisted is not one of them.’
‘I know yer not tight, Geoff. I wouldn’t have said it if I’d known yer were going to be insulted. I’ll let yer buy me the underskirt with pleasure and I thank yer kindly, sir.’
With a smile of pleasure and a sigh of contentment, Geoff settled back in his seat and put his arm across Sadie’s shoulders. ‘You are my girl, aren’t yer, Sadie?’
‘Yer the only boyfriend I’ve got, Geoff, but I am only
sixteen.’
Sadie might lie to him but she wasn’t going to lead him down the garden path as well. ‘I’m a bit young to be gettin’ too serious.’
‘I can wait.’ Geoff gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. ‘In a year and four months I’ll be out of me time and you’ll be seventeen and a half. That’s not too young to get serious, is it?’
Sadie said the only thing she could say. ‘No, that’s not too young, Geoff.’
And when they were saying good night, there was more warmth than usual in Sadie’s kiss as she tried to make amends for her deception.
Harry was waiting by the park gates for Sadie on the Sunday night. ‘There’s a courting couple in our speck – let’s walk over to the other side.’
As they walked, arms straight by their sides, he glanced at her. ‘Did yer go out with that Geoff feller yesterday?’
Sadie nodded. ‘We went to the Astoria.’
‘I usually see yer going out on a Saturday night, but I didn’t see yer last night.’ Harry noticed an empty spot between the trees and walked her towards it. His jealousy was so strong it was like a knife being twisted in his heart. ‘Were yer out with him all day?’
Sadie shook her head. ‘No, I went into town on me own to get away from the house. I needed cheering up so I went window shopping.’ She tilted her head and pulled a face. ‘I should have known that would make me more miserable. Seeing nice things that I know I’ll never be able to afford.’
‘You will one day, Sadie, I know yer will.’ He was filled with hatred for the family who were not only destroying Sadie’s life but his as well. But for them there would be no need to hide in bushes for a stolen few minutes. He could have claimed her for his own, and this Geoff bloke wouldn’t be on the scene. With a sigh, he reached for her and put his hands on her waist. ‘Tell me what yer saw in town. Did yer go with yer mate, Brenda?’
‘Harry, I’m miserable enough without going out with
Brenda.
She’s being a real pain in the neck these days and I’m better off on me own. I just walked around TJ’s first, then wandered down to Church Street looking into every shop window.’ I should have gone in to be an actress, Sadie thought. I’m getting so good at telling lies I’ll be believing them meself soon. ‘I spent so long looking in Etam’s window it’s a wonder they didn’t come out and chase me.’
‘Why, what caught yer eye?’
‘A pink underskirt with white lace around the bottom. It was really beautiful and I fell in love with it.’
‘Was it very expensive?’
‘Not for some people perhaps, but for me two and eleven is out of the question. A sixpenny one from a second-hand stall at the market is more up my street.’ Sadie knew what would come now and she was hating herself even before Harry spoke.
‘I’ll buy it for yer. I never take yer out, and there’s no good beating about the bush because we both know why I don’t take yer out. I feel a coward for not standing up to me mam, but yer must admit that where your family’s concerned, most mothers would feel the same. So let me make it up to yer by buying yer that underskirt. You’d be doing me a favour because I want to do something to make you happy.’
‘I don’t deserve a friend like you, Harry, yer know that, don’t yer? I’ve done nothing but take off yer and give yer nothing in return. I can’t even say I’ll buy you anything to make up for it ’cos I’d only be tellin’ lies.’ She laid her head on his chest so she wouldn’t have to meet his eyes. ‘I do tell lies, Harry, I’m sorry to say. They’re not big whopping lies that will do anyone any harm or get them into trouble, but I’m not proud of meself. It’s just that I’ve made up me mind to get out of that hell-hole as soon as I can, and I don’t care what I have to do to make it happen.’
When Sadie raised her head and looked into his deep brown eyes, it was on her lips to blurt out that she’d be gone in a few weeks. But she remembered Mary Ann’s
warning
about cutting all her ties with home. She’d shed a few tears in bed last night over that. The idea of walking away from her two brothers and Ellen and the baby, without saying goodbye, didn’t sit well on her conscience. Only the thought that she could do more for them if she was away from home than she ever could if she stayed, comforted her. On the paltry shilling a week she couldn’t keep herself, let alone do anything to put food in their tummies and clothes on their back. With a bit of luck she might get a decent job and be able to buy clothes for them off Mary Ann. She’d have a problem getting the clothes to them but she’d manage it somehow.
Lying in the darkness of her bedroom, the silence broken only by the breathing of her brothers and sisters, Sadie’s mind had turned to Harry. She would miss him more than she’d miss anyone because he was always so kind and treated her with respect. She hoped he wouldn’t think too badly of her when he found she had gone without so much as a goodbye. Perhaps when she was settled she could contact him and tell him the reason. Then a voice in her head had told her he’d be better off without her. If she wasn’t around he wouldn’t be able to see her and that meant he wouldn’t have to live with the fear of his mam finding out they were friends.
‘Hey, Sadie.’ Harry put a finger under her chin and raised her face. ‘Come back into the land of the living. You were miles away.’
‘It’s so quiet and peaceful here, I was daydreaming. Yer can’t think straight in our house – it’s always like Bedlam.’
‘I feel like that meself at the moment, so let me daydream with yer. I bet yer mind was on that thingummybob yer saw in the shop window.’
Sadie smiled. ‘Something like that. Anyway, can I have me first smackeroo, please?’
‘With pleasure. I thought yer were never goin’ to ask.’
‘A girl shouldn’t have to ask for a kiss – it’s not ladylike.’
‘Shut up, Sadie Wilson, and take a deep breath before yer pucker yer lips ready for one of me famous smackeroos. And I’m warning yer to hang on tight because
you
an’ me are goin’ to fly to the moon and back.’
Just before Harry covered her lips with his, Sadie asked, ‘Do we have to come back? Couldn’t we stay on the moon?’
Harry backed off a fraction. ‘You interrupted me there, Sadie Wilson – just when I was gettin’ in me stride, as well. So yer not counting that as a kiss ’cos that would be cheating.’ He dropped his head back so he could look into her face. ‘Now, to answer yer question, when we get up there we’ll ask the man in the moon if he’s got any rooms to let. Would yer live with me on the moon if we got the chance, Sadie?’
Sadie nodded. ‘Yes, I would, Harry.’
Her answer had Harry growing ten feet tall. Unknown to him, his thoughts were identical to Sadie’s. Up there they wouldn’t have to hide in bushes, they’d be free to do as they wished. ‘I’d have to come down now and again, like, to see me family and pay me pools money. Hey, there’s a thing! What if I came up on Vernons and won a thousand pounds? You and me could elope to Gretna Green.’
Sadie’s brow furrowed. ‘Where’s Gretna Green?’
‘Oh, don’t tell me yer’ve never heard of it? It’s a place in Scotland where couples run off to, to get married when their families won’t give their consent.’
‘Are yer goin’ to give me a lesson on general knowledge, Harry, or a kiss?’
‘I think a lesson on general knowledge, Sadie, ’cos it would stand yer in good stead for the rest of yer life.’ Harry’s dimples deepened when he roared with laughter. ‘I only know about Gretna Green because one of me mates at work went up there to get married. He lived to regret it though, ’cos when he got back and brought his new wife to his house, his mam chased him up the street, belting him with the sweeping brush. Knocked hell out of him, she did.’