Sadie Was A Lady (3 page)

Sadie narrowed her eyes. ‘Yer very trusting, Harry. I mean, I could tell yer a lie, just to get a tanner off yer.’

Harry let his head fall back and he roared with laughter. ‘Fancy thinkin’ of that! Yer sound like a proper little gold-digger.’

‘That’s what I’m goin’ to be when I’m older, a gold-digger.’ There was no smile on Sadie’s face. ‘I’m determined not to end up like me mam, with a gang of kids and a lousy husband.’

Harry took her elbow and led her towards the park gates. ‘Yer’ll feel different when yer meet someone yer like. Not all men are like yer dad, yer know.’

‘Me dad probably wasn’t like he is now before he was married. Once they get a ring on yer finger, that’s when they change. Well, they’ve taught me that married life isn’t all sweetness and light, so I’ll stay clear of it. As I said, I’ll be a gold-digger and take everything I can lay me hands on, without givin’ anything back.’

Sadie lay on her back staring up at the ceiling. She had to share a bedroom with her two sisters and brothers, while the baby slept in her cot in the front room. There was no privacy; her small camp bed was set against the end of the double bed where the boys and girls slept, top to tail … girls at the top, boys at the bottom. Apart from a rickety old wooden chair and the beds, there wasn’t another item of furniture in the cramped room. Even if I had any decent clothes, I wouldn’t have anywhere to hang them, Sadie thought as she turned on her side and tried to make herself comfortable so she could go over the events of the day in her mind.

She could picture her dad, sitting in the chair, half-drunk, saying he’d lost all his money. She’d really hated
him
at that moment. And her mam was no better; neither of them cared that she’d worked all week for nothing. They weren’t worried that Brenda would be left standing outside the picture house like one of Lewis’ dummies. The only ones they cared about were themselves, and they made damn sure they never went short. They’d proved tonight just how selfish they were. When she’d got in about nine o’clock it had been to find Dot minding the children while her parents were up in the pub. They didn’t have her pocket money, but they had money enough for their beer. It was no wonder the children were wild and out of control; they’d been left to fend for themselves ever since she started work. Up till then she’d been mother to them and skivvy to her parents. Now the role had been handed over to Dot, who was ill-fitted for it. She was more likely to give the younger ones a clout than a hug.

Sadie plumped the pillow with her fist. Why couldn’t her parents be like Brenda’s, or Harry’s? Brenda was happy and contented because she came from a loving home where there was constant laughter. And the Youngs next door were always laughing – she could hear them through the walls. A long sigh came from deep within Sadie. There was no contentment in this house, no love and no laughter. She felt sorry for her sisters and brothers; it wasn’t their fault they were cheeky and ignorant. They’d had to be tough to survive in a home that resembled a pigsty, where their tummies were always rumbling with hunger and the clothes were falling off their backs.

Full of anger, hurt and resentment, Sadie vowed to make a new life for herself as soon as she was old enough. She’d get a little place of her own and she’d keep it spotlessly clean and cheerful. And she’d never get married and have children because the man might turn out to be like her dad. She wouldn’t put any defenceless young child through the fear and shame she’d experienced because of him. Not all men were the same, as Harry had rightly said, but she didn’t intend taking a chance.

A picture of Harry’s face flashed through her mind, bringing back the memory of her first kiss. Had she
enjoyed
it? She knew Harry had, because she’d opened her eyes when his lips were on hers and she could tell by the look on his face and his low groan of pleasure. Herself, she didn’t think it was anything to get excited about, but she’d do it again for the money. In fact, she’d be more than willing to do it every night if she got sixpence each time. She’d be able to buy herself some decent clothes and shoes, and wouldn’t have to be ashamed of wearing the same dress day in and day out, or walk around with the soles hanging off her only pair of shoes. And she’d be able to go out on a Sunday instead of being stuck in the house wearing one of her mother’s old dresses while she washed hers ready for work the next morning.

Sadie’s eyes began to close and she drifted into sleep seeing herself walking down a street with her head held high, wearing a pretty dress and a pair of stylish high-heeled shoes. And a smile came to her face as, in her dream, she stopped halfway up the street in front of a little house where the step was pure white, the windowsill red-raddled and polished, and crisp curtains showed behind the gleaming glass panes. And Sadie saw herself putting the key in the lock and opening the door of a place of her very own.

On the Sunday morning, in the cold light of day, Sadie bitterly regretted taking the money off Harry. She didn’t think she could ever look him in the face again, remembering how she’d cheapened herself. So for the next three weeks she avoided him, ducking down entries whenever she saw him before he caught sight of her. But on this Thursday night, on her way home from work, she’d just turned the corner of the street when he came whizzing around on his bike. He braked sharply, cocked his leg backwards over the saddle and fell into step beside her, wheeling the bike in the gutter.

‘Hello, stranger! Have you been avoiding me?’

Sadie’s hair bounced as she shook her head. ‘No, of course not.’ She gazed at him out of the corner of her eye. Even though he was coming home from work too, he looked smart in a crisp white shirt with his hair neatly combed back, and she was conscious of her own appearance. Her washed-out dress was coming apart at the seams and was far too tight on her now her breasts were growing. She really should be wearing a brassière like her friend Brenda, because her nipples could be clearly seen through the flimsy material. ‘Why should I want to avoid yer?’

‘Search me! But it just seemed funny that we live next door to each other and usually come into contact every day or so, but since a certain night, when a pretty girl got her first kiss, I haven’t seen hide nor hair of yer.’

‘There’s nothing funny about it, it’s just coincidence.’

‘Was my kiss that bad it put yer off selling me another?’

Sadie could feel herself blushing. ‘I should never have
sold
yer one in the first place. It was a dead mean trick I pulled on yer.’

‘You’ve got it all wrong, Sadie. It was me who pulled the trick – not you. You would never have thought of it in a million years, would yer?’

‘No, I suppose not, but it still wasn’t right.’ They were nearing Harry’s house and Sadie slowed down. ‘You go on, Harry. If yer mam sees you with me she’ll have a duck egg. She doesn’t have much time for the Wilson family, and I can’t say I blame her. I wouldn’t like us for neighbours.’

‘I’m not me mam, Sadie, and you are not the whole Wilson family.’ Harry lifted the bike onto the pavement. ‘I choose me own friends and I want to be friends with you. So don’t forget that. Any time yer in trouble, or if yer ever left without money again, come to me and I’ll help yer out.’

Warmed by his words, Sadie smiled. ‘Still willing to pay a tanner for a kiss, Harry?’

She has no idea how pretty she is, Harry thought. Her family have pulled her so low she has no self-esteem. ‘More than willing.’

‘Thanks, Harry.’ Sadie gave him another smile and went on her way. A few women were standing at their doors, their arms folded, watching with undisguised interest. She’d bet a pound to a penny that as soon as she was inside her own front door, one of them would be over like a shot to ask Mrs Young if she knew her son was getting very friendly with the Wilson girl. Oh well, while they were pulling her to pieces they were leaving someone else alone.

Sadie always braced herself when she walked into the living room. She knew what to expect, but nevertheless the dirt and the smell never failed to depress her. The children were sat around the table dipping pieces of bread into bowls of watery soup, while her mother was sitting on the couch feeding the baby from a bottle which looked as dirty on the inside as it was on the outside.

‘What’s for me tea, Mam?’

‘The same as we’re all having – home-made soup.’ Lily
Wilson’s
hair was dishevelled and her face looked as though it hadn’t seen soap and water all day. ‘See to yerself, I’m busy.’

Sadie groaned as she battled to keep her temper under control. She was hungry after working all day, and to be expected to make do with a bowl of soup that was made of water with an onion and a few vegetables thrown in, was too much to ask. But she wasn’t going to argue, not tonight when she wanted to ask her mother for something.

When her father came in, the children all ran out to play, leaving Sadie facing George Wilson across the table. While she was trying to get the unappetising soup down without balking, a plate of bacon and egg was set before the master of the house. Sadie’s anger mounted, but still she kept her feelings to herself. She needed Lily in a good mood.

George pushed a piece of bread around the plate to soak up the bacon fat, and then sat back in his chair, undid the top button on his trousers and belched loudly.

Sadie closed her eyes and lowered her head in disgust. It was no wonder the children had no table manners; they’d never been set a good example. ‘Shall I put the baby to bed for yer?’ she asked her mother.

‘No, I’ll take her up,’ Lily said. ‘You wash the dishes.’

‘I’ll come up with yer.’ There was a leer on George’s face. ‘Give yer a hand to put her to bed.’

Lily grinned knowingly. ‘Yeah, come on then.’

Sadie gathered the dirty dishes and carried them through to the tiny kitchen. She filled the kettle for hot water to wash them in, and after lighting the gas she leaned against the sink, deep in thought. She could picture in her mind what was happening upstairs. The baby would have been put down and left to look through the bars of the cot while her mam and dad behaved like animals. What sort of a life was it for a baby? Or for any of the children for that matter? Living in a house where there was never any simple affection, only lust; never any hugs and kisses left over for them. They’d grow up
thinking
that married life was what they saw happening here.

The kettle started to whistle and Sadie poured the boiling water into the sink. The kitchen was filthy, but it could stay like that for all she cared. It would take her hours to clean it properly, and for what? It would be back to normal in no time because her mother didn’t believe in doing housework. The only thing her mother did willingly was what she was doing now.

‘Can I have a drink of water, our Sadie?’ Jimmy rubbed the back of his hand across his running nose. ‘We’re havin’ a game of ollies.’

Sadie filled a cup; as she handed it to him, she noticed he was barefoot. ‘Have you been playin’ out without yer shoes on?’

‘I haven’t got no shoes.’ Jimmy thirstily emptied the cup in one go. ‘The sole came off an’ me mam had no money for me to take it to the cobblers.’

‘What are you goin’ to do for school tomorrow?’

‘I dunno.’ Jimmy shrugged his shoulders before running out, leaving Sadie anxious and frustrated. If her mam and dad would only stay away from the pub, they could keep their children decently dressed and fed. But their own pleasures came first – the pub and bed.

‘Haven’t yer finished them yet?’ Lily’s face was flushed. ‘Yer takin’ yer time about it.’

‘Mam, can I ask yer something? Yer remember that shilling yer owe me from the other week, when me dad lost all his money? D’yer think yer could let me have sixpence of it this week?’

‘We’ll see.’ Lily made to leave the kitchen but Sadie held onto her arm.

‘Mam, I need it to buy a brassière.’ She touched her breasts. ‘Just look at me, I can’t go around like this!’

Lily’s smile was more of a sneer. ‘What yer worryin’ about? Yer’ll be very popular with the fellers when they get an eyeful of them.’

‘Mam, please. Yer do owe it to me.’

‘I don’t owe yer nothing, me girl, so don’t come that
with
me. It was yer dad what lost the money, so ask him.’

‘No, Mam, I don’t want to ask me dad. I’d be too embarrassed.’

‘Sod off, Sadie, there’s nothin’ to be embarrassed about. Yer’ve only got the same as everyone else.’ With that, Lily gripped her daughter’s arm and dragged her through the door. ‘Hey, George, yer daughter wants to ask yer somethin’. Can she have sixpence off the shillin’ yer owe her, so she can buy a brassière? She doesn’t like her tits bouncing.’

George’s grin was that of the dirty old man he was in his daughter’s mind. He gazed with relish at her firm, round breasts. Even though his passion had just been satisfied, he could feel himself responding to her youthful body. A trickle of saliva ran down one side of his chin as he left his chair and walked towards her. Sadie tried to pull back but her mother’s grip tightened. It was as though she knew what her husband had in mind and was egging him on. But the second his fingers closed on her nipple, Sadie’s free hand swung around and she smacked him across the face.

‘Don’t you dare touch me! If you ever do that again, I’ll go to the police and tell them.’

Lily laughed like a madwoman as she grabbed Sadie’s other arm from behind. ‘Go on, George, have a good feel. She won’t go to the police ’cos she’d be put in an institute for wayward girls.’

George’s two hands covered Sadie’s breasts and he kneaded them while leering into her face. ‘Pair of beauties, they are.’

‘If yer don’t take yer hands off me, I’ll scream the house down an’ all the neighbours will hear. And I’ll tell them what yer were doin’ to me from when I was six years of age.’

Lily’s grip loosened. ‘What d’yer mean?’

Sadie took advantage and pushed her father’s hands away. She ran to the door and turned around. ‘Ask me dad what I mean, but I doubt he’ll tell yer the truth. I’ll be home later ’cos I’ve nowhere else to go, but if he so
much
as looks sideways at me, I swear I’ll not only tell the neighbours, I’ll tell the whole of Liverpool.’