Safe (12 page)

“Heart.”

“Broken.” I stared out at the water.

“Why is it broken?”

“This isn’t part of the game.” I smiled at him.

“I’d still like you to tell me.”

“It just is. I don’t want to play anymore okay? Let me give you the rundown version of me. Okay?”

He nodded.

“I’m from up North. My mom’s still there, dad’s passed on. I have a brother who I love to pieces. He’s serving in Iraq. I studied business in college and love to read.”

“Thanks for sharing with me.” He seemed genuinely sincere, but I just couldn’t get past that pit in my stomach. It could be an act. I fell for it once, and I wouldn’t do it again.

“You’re welcome. Look, I don’t want to come off as rude or disrespectful; I just want to be honest with you. I’m not looking for a man in my life. I’m trying to get myself together here, and I just need time to work that out.” Deep down, I was hoping he wouldn’t take this as me being a bitch.

“Well, we’re in the same boat. I’m not looking for anything but a friend. Can you use one of them?”

I felt his sincerity. It made me ache. I really wanted a friend—someone I could trust. The only ones I had were Macy and Lauryn, and neither of them knew the real me.

“Yeah. That would be nice.” I smiled.

“What are you doing tomorrow?”

Catching me off guard, I asked, “What?”

I asked, “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Umm … I don’t know yet.”

“I would just like to show you somewhere. Just as friends.”

“Like alone with you in a car?”

Laughing, he said, “Yes, you alone with me in my truck. And whenever you say the word, I’ll bring you back.”

Could I do it? Could I go along with him and not freak out? I had my cell so I could always call. And I would definitely tell Lauryn who I was with.

There was just something about him that made me feel comfortable. What was this pull to him? Should I fear him or the pull more?

“Okay.”

Shit. What in the hell was I thinking?

Take that back, I knew exactly what I was thinking. It was that fucktard, Brad, talking to Sadie. I wanted to kick his fucking ass. To say I hated Brad, was an understatement. In my eyes, he was the scum of the Earth, and everyone in this town knew I felt this way.

After what he did to me, I just couldn’t ever look at him with anything but disgust again.

Sitting at my kitchen island, all those thoughts I had buried came rushing back.

That stupid piece of shit had been my best friend since we were little. We grew up next door to each other; well, if you called five acres away next door, but to us it was.

We were inseparable—playing little league, soccer, and everything in between together. We hung out at each other’s houses all the time and got into some serious trouble together.

Like the time we super-glued all of Lainey’s Barbies to her bedroom floor. Mom was pissed beyond belief. They had to pull the carpet up, and we never got the Barbies off it. Lainey cried like hell, and Brad and I cried after Mom got done with us.

Mom had us cleaning, scraping, and digging anything and everything she could come up with as punishment. It was one hell of a long week.

When he committed the ultimate betrayal with Stacy, I didn’t take it lightly. It was a serious blow to me, and I still haven’t gotten over it.

I wasn’t quite ready to share it with Sadie yet, if ever. I knew she’d hear of my past if I didn’t tell her, but I wasn’t ready. Shit, for all I knew, Lauryn already told her.

Come to think of it, maybe she knew and realized how messed up I was, but then why would she come with me today.

I didn’t know why I even cared in the first place, but it was really starting to piss me off.

When I saw her sitting all alone by the lake, I couldn’t help but approach. Her hair was glowing in the moonlight while she reclined in the chair. With her eyes closed, she looked so peaceful, like she didn’t have a care in the world. Everything was washed away, and she looked even more beautiful than before.

I felt this draw to her that I couldn’t turn off. It was like a thousand strings pulling me to her, and if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t want to pull away. I was starting to sound like a Hallmark card. Since when did I turn into such a fucking sap?

I enjoyed laughing and talking to her. Finding out we had the same tastes in movies and music made me want to find out what else we had in common.

Having her see me play at the bar and going four-wheeling was unbelievable. I knew that I’d hurt her and that I was incapable of giving her a happily ever after. Stacy ruined that part of me, and I vowed to never let it happen again.

While I knew that she wasn’t Stacy, in theory, I just couldn’t risk it. I could never risk it again; even as dynamic as Sadie was becoming, I couldn’t open up that part of me again.

When I walked in on Stacy riding my best friend—and yes, I mean riding—on the couch, both naked, my entire world snapped. I snapped.

In the blink of an eye, I lost my best friend, who had been my third brother and the girl who was love of my life. Well, I thought at the time she was the love of my life. She ended up just being a whore. I was utterly devastated and lost. The thought of my best friend screwing the woman I was planning on spending the rest of my life with was debilitating.

The fact that Stacy just gave up everything to sleep with Brad incapacitated me. I was numb.

The whiskey bottle that I kept trying to drown myself in only made it worse. I would keep replaying the scene I walked into unsuspectingly over and over again. It would never go away.

When my brothers finally had enough of me destroying my liver, Renzo and Lukas stepped in. I fought like hell and that included with my fists. We had months of fights back and forth. It almost destroyed us as brothers, but they never gave up on me. For that, I owe them my life.

Even though the whiskey was gone, that scene was permanently etched in my brain.

While I didn’t forgive either one of them, I’d moved past it. Well, in my own way. But I refuse to ever let another woman have that much hold over me again.

This was why I knew that Sadie was a bad idea.

Her words, ‘I’m not looking for a man in my life’ were eating at me. Why? I really didn’t know. Maybe ‘cause I wasn’t looking for a woman in mine either and it was pissing me off that I had this draw to her. Or maybe because I saw the way that Brad looked at her and I never wanted to see another man look at her like that again. Brad eyed her for a quick fuck which was not going to happen.

I couldn’t believe this was going through my mind. I was the guy who went to a chick’s place, screwed her and then left. No strings, no hurt feelings, just sex. The mutual pleasure of fulfillment and that was all.

“Damn it,” I said, slamming my hand down on the kitchen counter.

I needed to get my shit together. I had to pick her up in an hour. What the hell was I thinking taking her out? Really? I swear I was a glutton for punishment.

It was too late to back out now, and damn, I really didn’t want to. I wanted to get to know her better. I needed to know why her heart was broken. Not that I could fix it, I was just curious.

And damn if that didn’t piss me off.

After showering and throwing jeans, a t-shirt, and boots on, I hopped in the truck and started toward Sadie’s house.

“I’m just gonna see what happens,” I muttered to myself.

Sitting at the island in the kitchen, I heard Lauryn approach. I knew she had just as late of a night as I did, but tons more work. The fact that she was up this early was surprising.

“What can you tell me about Landon Ellison?” I blurted out before she even got to me.

“Why? Thought you were ‘not interested’?” she asked using those stupid air quotes.

“I’m not. We came to an understanding last night that we’re going to be friends. I was upfront with him about not looking for a man in my life.” Looking away, I finished quietly, “and … he’s coming to get me in a half hour to show me ... well, he didn’t really tell me what.”

“He’s
what
!” she screeched.

“What’s wrong?” I was beyond curious about her reaction to this. What was going on that I needed to know? I came from the stance of the best defense was a good offense.

“Um … well. He doesn’t really do those kinds of things. I mean, look he had some bad stuff happen to him a few years back. And well, he hasn’t been the same since. Are you sure he’s not interested?”

“I’m sure. I made it clear. I just need to know more about him so I have some kind of idea who he is and … what he’s capable of. What happened a few years ago?”

Lauryn’s expression tensed at my question. I could see from the look on her face that she didn’t want to tell me. She also understood, without any words being said, about my nervousness of being alone with him.

“Sadie, he would never hurt you, at least not in the physical sense. His Momma would have his ass in a heartbeat. Not to mention his brothers taking turns.”

I stared at her, wanting to believe her. I trusted Lauryn. I really did. It was just that my gut didn’t allow me to trust another man. My track record wasn’t so hot.

“Okay?”

“Look, he went through some stuff, but I think he should be the one to talk to you about it. It’s nothing horrible, just women problems. Since those problems, he has had a string of fun, but nothing serious.”

“Oh great … so a playboy who wants to get in my pants and then toss me like the rest. Wonderful. Sounds like a jerk.”

“No, the women know what they’re getting into. He’s hot, and women fall at his feet. They fall at all the Ellisons’ feet actually …” Her thought trailed off. “But taking a woman out to show her around just for fun has to be a new one.”

“How do you know all this? Did you sleep with him?”

Gasping, Lauryn turned and looked me square in the eye. “No, I told you I had a thing for Renzo, but he doesn’t see me. I wouldn’t go for Landon when he’s not the one I want.”

“I’m sorry. I was just curious because you seem to know a lot about his ins and outs.”

“No, the entire town knows everyone’s ins and outs. It’s just how it is. Trust me, it majorly sucks when you’re going through some serious shit, but if you need them, they come.”

“Well, I’ll see how today goes, and hopefully the entire town doesn’t know.”

“Ha, you’re kidding right? They’ll all know before he pulls up in the driveway. You’ll learn girl. That’s what surprises me the most. Landon doesn’t do this, and the whole town will know.”

“Well, great. This sounds like a blast,” I muttered, heading up to my bathroom.

Ten minutes later, I found myself at the bathroom mirror. My auburn hair fell in a mess of waves that no amount of mousse would tame. I loved the way it flowed down my back, but in this heat, it had to go up.

I did a quick check of my face adding a touch of makeup, making my blue eyes pop. I pulled on my shorts and fitted purple t-shirt. Slipping on my socks and tennis shoes, I headed to the living room to wait for Landon.

To my surprise, he was already sitting on the couch watching football on Lauryn’s ginormous TV.