Safe (23 page)

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.” Lainey shook her head, got up, and left the room. So that was not what I expected. I thought I was going to get the ‘you’d better not hurt my brother’ speech, but she was warning me about him.

What the hell? Something was seriously wrong here. What sister warns a woman off her brother? What, is he a killer? He’d always been a perfect gentleman with me. Hell, he asked if he could kiss me. What killer would ask that? Maybe Lauryn and I should call it a night and get the hell out of here.

I really didn’t know much about Landon. So anything could be possible. I knew for certain I didn’t want to be another notch on his bedpost.

“There you are,” Landon’s voice came from the door, and my body stilled.

I noticed the change in Sadie the moment I opened my mouth. Her spine stiffened, and her breathing became nonexistent. What the hell?

“Sadie, are you okay?”

When she shook her head and answered, “Fine,” her voice was shaky and uncertain and I wanted to get rid of that. What the hell just happened?

“You don’t seem fine. Tell me what’s wrong.” I didn’t dare go over and sit by her. Instead, I moved so I was leaning on the desk in front of her.

Her eyes wouldn’t meet mine and she didn’t say anything.

“Sadie, look at me.” I knew my tone was a bit rough, but it got her attention. Her eyes snapped to me and went wide. “Can you tell me what’s going on?”

Sadie’s eyes were searching for something. I didn’t know if it was something in me or not, but they were weary. I didn’t want that look from her. I thought we had gotten to a point where she was comfortable.

“Had an interesting and very strange conversation with your sister.” Her voice was flat.

“Okay. About what?”

“She wanted to warn me about you. I hear you have a long string of chicks that you fuck and leave. She didn’t want me to end up like them. Why would she do that?”

“Fuck!” I said. Seeing Sadie flinch at my tone, I knew I needed to rein my temper in. “Sorry. It’s not what you think.”

“What’s not what I think? That I’ll just be one of the many? I told you in the beginning I didn’t want a relationship. So, no biggie.”

Damn women ... to hell it was no biggie. I wasn’t that fucking stupid. I could see the hurt and disappointment in her eyes. They were hooded, and the walls building up were tougher than Fort Knox. Damn. Just when I thought I was getting somewhere.

“Sadie, I told you this was more. I meant it.”

“Look, Landon. It’s okay. I’d rather know what I’m getting into than have any surprises. We haven’t known each other long and it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not fine. I want you to believe me.”

Her face was questioning my words. “Then let me ask you something.”

“Anything.” Why I cared that she believed me was beyond me.

“Why did Lainey lead me to believe there’s something I should know that you are not telling me?”

“Why, what did she say?”

She cocked her head to the side, almost like she was reading my thoughts. I didn’t want her to read it. I didn’t want to tell her.

“Better yet, Landon, you tell me.” Immediately, I saw the change in her. She pushed her shoulders back and began to have an air of anger in her laced with determination and self-assuredness.

“Can we talk about this later?” I did not want to do this here. Damn! Damn! Damn!

“Yeah, sure, later.” Sadie stood up and began to walk out the door. When she brushed past me, I reached out for her arm.

Her eyes widened in shock, and she wrenched her arm out of my grasp.

“Sadie, I just want to talk,” I pleaded.

“Don’t grab me.” She left the room.

Damn it all to hell. What the fuck just happened? I was gonna kill Lainey. Surely she didn’t tell her about Stacy. We never talked about her. She … never talked about her.

Turning out of the room, I immediately went in search of Lainey. I had to know what the hell she told Sadie.

Finding her in the kitchen, I immediately went up to her side.

“Lainey, what the hell did you say to Sadie?” I knew my anger was coming through my words, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to know.

“Nothing that wasn’t the truth.”

“What the hell did you say?” I knew I was reaching my boiling point, not that I would ever lay a hand on her.

Blowing out an exasperated breath, she continued, “Landon, I just don’t want to see her get hurt. Mom says she seemed really nice, and I know how you are.”

“And how am I, Lainey?”

“You don’t do relationships. You haven’t since Stacy. Not that I wouldn’t be pissed about what that bitch did, but it changed you.”

“I thought we agreed never to talk about her again.” The sternness in my words even shook me. The mention of her name was too much.

“I want it different.”

“What?” I arched my brow.

“I want you happy.”

“And you think by telling Sadie I’m a whore, and she’s going to be another notch on my bedpost, that’s ever going to happen?”

She rolled her eyes. “I didn’t say you were a whore, and we both know that she won’t be around for long. You’ll be done with her soon enough.”

“Don’t talk about her like that!” I growled.

“Landon Matthew! What are you yelling about?” Hearing my mom made both Lainey and I jump. Even in our twenties, Mom still had the power over us.

“Nothing Mom, Lainey and I were just talking.” The snide way I said
talking
didn’t get past Mom.

“Well, enough talking; it’s time for dinner and don’t bring whatever this is to my table,” she ordered, turned, and walked to the dining room.

Turning again to Lainey, I added, “Look, I don’t exactly know what’s happening between Sadie and me, but damn it, shit like this will surely mess everything up. You gotta stop this.”

Without another word, I left and went into the living room.

All right, so maybe I had been a whore these past few years, but the women knew what they were getting into. I never told them we would have a happily ever after or any bullshit like that. They knew. That made it okay. We both got pleasure without all those damn strings that seemed to form.

Walking into the dining room, my eyes immediately landed on Sadie. She was sitting close to Lauryn in some sort of discussion. It didn’t take a genius to know they were more than likely talking about me.

Lauryn knew my past, and the fact she hadn’t told Sadie yet was surprising. I figured she would have told her the first time I took Sadie out, but for some reason, she’d kept quiet.

I knew now that I had to talk to Sadie tonight. I didn’t want her thinking that she was just another notch on my belt. When I was with her, it was different. Most of the time women I met would take me back to their house, we’d both get off and then I’d get my shit and leave. There were no emotional ties, and I didn’t want them. With Sadie, I looked into her eyes and she caught me, made my heart pick up, and turned me into something I never thought I would be again.

Even though that scared the shit out of me, I couldn’t help but want to be around her. I wanted to know her.

“Son, come have a seat.” My dad’s voice cut me out of my thoughts. Looking back at Sadie, she gave me a small smile, and I took the seat next to her.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine,” she said.

“When dinner is over, we need to talk.” God, did we need to talk.

“It’s fine. I already told you that.” Sadie kept her voice quiet so only I could hear, but I could see Lauryn straining to hear what was being said.

“It’s not fine, and we will talk after this.” I probably came off like an asshole, but I’d be damned if she was going to put me off. I couldn’t have that. I wanted her to understand. I had to tell her about Stacy.

By the look on her face, I could tell that she didn’t like my tone, but being at my parents’ table was a God-send at this time. She refrained from arguing with me, even though her body language was screaming at me.

“So Sadie, tell us about your family,” Mom said while putting the final dish on the table.

In all honesty, I didn’t know much about her family either. She seemed to avoid the topic with me.

“My mom is Lauryn’s mom’s sister. I have a brother who’s in the Marines. My dad died about four years ago.” Sadie got quiet, and I could see the tears welling up in her eyes. She looked down to hide her face.

I grabbed her hand under the table and squeezed. She turned her face and gave me a small smirk, which was reassuring to me.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry to hear that.” Mom’s voice cracked.

“It’s been hard having him gone,” Sadie said back.

“I bet it is.” Changing the subject, which Mom was good at, she asked, “How long has your brother been in the Marines?”

The instant the question was asked, I felt some of the heaviness leave the table. Sadie then made eye contact with mom and smiled.

“He’s been in for four years. I don’t really know what he does; I guess something so important that he can’t tell me, but he loves what he does. He’s proud to serve.” Sadie was beautiful smile beamed. I just loved that smile.

“Do you get to talk to him sweetie?” Mom loved to get answers.

“Not much. He’s not able to contact us much. It’s been about two and a half years since we’ve seen him, and that was a weeklong visit. I may get to talk to him over email every now and again.” Sadie’s eyes looked sad. I could tell she missed her brother.

“Well, he must be doing great things over there.” Mom always knew how to help lighten the mood.

“Yes.”

Dinner went without any more questions regarding Sadie’s family. No one said anything inappropriate, and Lainey kept her damn mouth shut. Questions of how we met were answered, along with snickers from my brothers, but they stayed quiet.

All I could focus on was getting Sadie alone to talk.

Leaning over to Sadie’s ear, I whispered, “Please come and talk to me; I want to explain.”

“You really don’t have to. It’s okay.” The look in her eye said it was anything but. Even though she claimed to not want a relationship, or a guy for that matter, I could see that being one of many bothered her.

“Please,” I pleaded with her.

Blowing out a frustrated breath, she slowly got up from the table, with me following close behind.

“Sadie and I are going to go for a walk. We’ll be back in a bit,” I said to the table.

“Thank you for dinner, Kay. It was really good,” Sadie said, smiling at Mom.

“You’re welcome. You guys come back soon. Dessert will be ready in about twenty minutes.”

“We will, Ma.”

I reached for Sadie’s hand, and she didn’t pull away. I didn’t know if it was because we were in the room with my folks or if it really didn’t bother her. I hoped it was the latter.

Sadie followed closely behind me, not saying a word. When we reached the bench out by the two hundred year old oak tree, I asked her to sit.

“This tree is beautiful, Landon.”

It was absolutely beautiful. This tree held so many memories for my brothers, sister, and me. We’d had tree houses and tire swings attached to it. It was also a source of shade during those hot Georgia days.

“Yes, it is,” I said, looking at only her. I could see when she looked at me that her cheeks flushed. “Please let me tell you what Lainey was talking about.”

“You really don’t have to. I really don’t want to hear about all the women you’ve been with.” Sadie wouldn’t meet my gaze. She seemed intent on looking at the tree above us.

“Sadie, I need to tell you.” Blowing out a deep breath, I started. “About five years ago, I was in love with a woman named Stacy.”

Seeing Sadie’s hands ball in fists and the tension in her arms, I knew I had to make this quick.

“We dated for two years, and I thought she was the one. We even lived together for a year of that time. We knew everything about each other … or so I thought. “

Sadie’s gaze never left the tree, and she didn’t say a word. So I continued.

“One weekend, I went out camping with my brothers. We were looking for a good place to hunt the next year so we were checking different spots out. I felt really sick all of the sudden while we were out there. I started throwing up, and well, if you don’t know anything about deer, you scare the shit out of them when you’re puking your guts out.”

I turned to smile at her, but her gaze was now down at her entwined fingers. I just wanted her to look at me, damn it.

“So my brothers brought me back to the house. I still felt like shit, but I knew Stacy was home, and she would take care of me.”

I heard her breath catch. “Well, when I walked in the door, I got more than I bargained for and a whole new sickness came on.”

I paused a moment. Those old feeling of betrayal came creeping up on me—anger, hurt, confusion, pain.

Clearing my throat, I pressed on. “I walked into my living room to my naked girlfriend on top of my best friend … fucking his brains out.”

Well, that got her attention, and she finally looked at me.

“Oh. Landon.”

I gave her a small smile. “When I slammed the door shut, they both jumped up. There was a lot of yelling, cussing, name-calling. Stacy tried repeatedly to tell me it didn’t mean anything. Brad, my best friend at the time …” I paused when I could see the recognition of the name in Sadie’s eyes. “He jumped up and whined like a fucking baby, saying how sorry he was and she came on to him—spouting all this bullshit.”