Vlad shrugged. “Someone has to. Might as well be me. At least I’m over here, and they can’t burst into the room and arrest me. I know I should be worried about my family, but I feel like they abandoned me. Plus, when this gets out, they’ll disown me anyway.”
Despite his assertion, Joey knew Vlad couldn’t be feeling as calmly determined as he sounded. “You know this is going to change everything.”
Vlad looked at him. “Everything has already changed. I’ve been living in hell since the Olympics, and pretty much in hell even before, not understanding my own body and feelings. Now I can at least move forward.”
Joey watched Vlad’s Adam’s apple bounce.
“With you.”
“Oh, no question.” Joey grinned. “You can’t get rid of me now.”
Vlad grabbed the sides of his face and brought their foreheads together. “I hope not. Hey, during the press conference, can I say who you are? I want to be open if I’m going to do this, but I won’t do anything to will make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m out, baby. It’s fine.”
“Like, your boss and stuff know?”
“Yes. I didn’t want to lie.”
Vlad nodded. “Okay. Thanks for being here and supporting me. It means everything.”
“It’s what I’m here for.”
They stayed there, gazing silently at each other, until Vlad’s phone buzzed. Joey raised an eyebrow.
“It’s probably Jason. I got his number from Tyler and gave him a call. I thought he might be able to help, or at least he’d have some notice before the press got to him to ask him if we’ve been fucking each other.” With an eye roll he answered and after a brief conversation said, “I’ll put you on speaker too.”
“Okay, you’re on speaker over here. Now both Patrick and I can hear and talk back.”
“And, um, I’ve got my boyfriend, Joey, here.”
“Hi, Joey,” came a chorus of voices, and Joey couldn’t help but smile.
“Hi, guys.”
“This is an incredibly brave thing you’re doing,” the one with the lower voice said. Joey assumed it was Patrick, since it sounded different from the one he’d heard before.
Vlad blushed, and Joey chuckled. “He’s blushing.”
“I am not.” He whacked Joey in the arm. “Anyway, like I told you in the texts, the press conference will hopefully be tomorrow. It’s locker clean-out day, so all the media guys will be there. I guess calling it a press conference is sort of silly. It will be more like me saying, ‘Yeah, we weren’t good enough, need to be better next year, and oh, by the way, I’m not playing in the World Championships for Russia because I’m gay.’”
“Uh, yeah. That’ll do it,” Jason said.
“Will you be able to be with him, Joey? I believe Vlad said you don’t work for the team?” Patrick chuckled. “How novel. A guy who works in hockey dating someone who isn’t a player or a coach.” Joey heard a commotion. “Ouch! What was that for?”
“Behave.”
Vlad smiled.
Maybe we aren’t the only kinky ones
. The band around Joey’s chest loosened a little. It was killing him, watching Vlad go through this and knowing there was little he could do to help. He’d never had to actually out himself. When he’d come home from the Middle East, he’d just kind of assimilated himself into the Pittsburgh gay scene.
“Can I answer your question now?”
“Oh, shit. Yeah, sorry, Joey,” Jason said.
“I’m going to be in the building, in the family lounge. If Vlad can get to me before he starts talking, great.” He glanced at Vlad. “But I could totally understand if he just blurted it out.”
“If you decide you can’t do it, Vlad, don’t worry about it,” Patrick said. “We will keep your secret until you feel comfortable sharing it. You shouldn’t feel like you owe anybody anything. This is your life, no one else’s.”
“He’s right, baby,” Joey said.
Vlad took a deep breath. “No. I want to do this. I’m going to be here in Pittsburgh as long as the team doesn’t trade me, and I don’t want to have to sneak around all the time. I am sick of it.”
“I wish we could be there with you.”
Now Vlad laughed. “Yeah, but both your teams are still in the playoff race.”
“You guys will get back there,” Jason reassured him. “You’re too talented not to, even though it pains me to say so.”
“Are you talking about me or the team?”
Vlad’s tone was playful, as was Jason’s, and Joey could kiss Jason and Patrick for putting his man at ease. He’d seen pictures of both of them after the bus crash during the Olympics, and both were good-looking men. Joey wasn’t into group sex, though, since he was pretty sure he’d rip the head off any guy who got too close to Vlad.
“I guess I’d have to ask Joey how talented you personally are.” Joey heard another whack.
“Ignore him,” Patrick said. “All the kid thinks about is sex.”
“My kinda guy,” Joey murmured.
Vlad chuckled. “So, any tips?”
“Shit, I dunno,” Jason answered. “I mean, we didn’t exactly choose to out ourselves.”
“We didn’t have any plans to come out publicly, in fact,” Patrick added. “But I will say this, and listen carefully, Vlad. There’s nothing wrong with you, no matter what anyone else says. Rely on the support of your partner and your friends, and fuck the rest.”
“I’ll try. Thanks for talking to me.”
“Anytime,” Jason said. “Hey, maybe the four of us could get together sometime this summer? We don’t live too far apart.”
“That would be fun.”
Vlad smiled at him, and Joey wanted to crawl right inside the man’s skin. Shit, he loved this guy so much it was nauseating. He smiled back.
They hung up, and after moving into the bedroom, Joey gave Vlad a nice rubdown with a happy ending before curling up behind the sleepy man, flinging an arm around his waist and kissing the back of his neck. “Everything will be okay, baby. And don’t ever forget. I’m here. You aren’t alone.”
“I love you.”
“Ditto, babe.” Joey rubbed his nose on the ticklish spot where Vlad’s neck met his shoulder. “Now go to sleep.”
Chapter Ten
Vlad was sure he was gonna lose his breakfast. Why in the hell was he doing this? He’d already hastily packed his bag, just in case things really got out of hand. Pat knew Vlad was going to lure the media out into the hall, so Joey could be there when he dropped his bomb, and had passed the message on to the other guys who knew the truth about them. They caught his eye occasionally, offering encouraging smiles, and Vlad turned toward his locker, taking a deep breath.
Pivoting, he called out, “Is it possible for you press guys to come out in the hall? I have a statement I want to make.”
The team’s PR guy, Chris, paled. “Vlad? Do I know about this?”
“No.” Vlad walked out the door before he lost his nerve. He coughed loudly—the signal he and Joey had worked out for lack of something better—and Joey walked out of the lounge, taking up a spot a little ways down the hall. When Vlad turned to face the media, who were now assembled in a clump with their notebooks and minirecorders at the ready, he was assaulted by the lights from the tops of the cameras. Vlad took a deep breath and then another.
Pat appeared at his side and put a hand on his shoulder. “You got this, bud.”
All the guys who’d been at Pat’s house the other night were there, along with several of his other teammates, who no doubt were wondering what the hell was going on.
“I have something to read. Afterward I will answer some questions. Please let me finish first, though.” He took the slip of paper from the pocket of his shorts. Without looking up again, he began to read what Joey had helped him write earlier.
“This past year has been a nightmare for me in many ways. I will not address the Olympics, but I will say it was what set off a chain of events which have been both the worst times and the best times of my life. You may not be aware, but I was recently honored with permanent citizenship by the United States. In the process, I denounced my citizenship of Russia. Apparently the Russian Hockey Federation was not made aware of my change in citizenship, despite my personally sending a message to the Federation, and invited me to become part of the Russian team for the World Championships.”
Vlad took a breath, not daring to look up. “I have advised the Russian Hockey Federation I am no longer a Russian citizen and have no intention of playing for any Russian team in international play. That by itself is not news. I realize this. But there’s more to the story, so please be patient with me. As you may know, Russia recently passed a series of antigay laws, making everything from wearing a rainbow pin to simply holding a partner’s hand in public a crime. I cannot ignore this archaic, barbarian viewpoint of my former country, because I am a gay man.”
He waited for the murmurs to die down, still not daring to look up, afraid he’d run if he paid too much attention to what was going on around him. “Yes, I am a gay man, and I’m also a proud citizen of the United States of America, where I will not be arrested for expressing my love for my partner, Joey.” Now he looked up and smiled in Joey’s direction, watching as the cameras pivoted almost as one to take in his boyfriend, who stood proudly and stared back at the throng of reporters. “As I said, I will answer limited questions, but not about the events at the Olympics.” Finally done reading, he pushed the paper back into his shorts and ran a hand through his hair, trying to calm his stuttering heart.
The questions started immediately.
“How long have you known you were gay?”
“How long have you and Joey been together?”
“Were you gay at the Olympics?”
He had a hard time not rolling his eyes.
Vlad motioned for everyone to quiet down. Joey moved closer, and Vlad turned to him, slipping his hand into Joey’s when he stopped at his side and squeezed his hand. “I will answer the questions as I understand them. I guess I knew I was gay for a long time, but I refused to allow myself to admit it. It was only after the Olympics it became clear to me that I would never be attracted to women.” He squeezed Joey’s hand again. “Joey and I have been together around four months, and he’s been the person who made me believe I wasn’t a freak, that my feelings were what they were and could not and should not be pushed away any longer.”
The cameras swung again when Pat and Tyler stepped forward.
“Were you aware of your teammate’s sexuality?”
“What are your thoughts on playing with a gay teammate?”
Tyler frowned. “We didn’t know until a few days ago, when Vlad felt comfortable enough to tell a few of us. As far as thoughts on playing with a gay teammate, I can only speak for myself, but I’m happy Vlad can finally be himself and he’s found someone who makes him happy. He’s a great hockey player and a good friend. That’s all that matters to me.”
One by one, Vlad’s teammates, with the exception of a few who seemed to be standing in astonished silence, echoed Tyler’s sentiments. Vlad had no idea if he could believe the things some of them were saying, since it was probable at least a few were playing to the cameras, but it was still nice to hear.
His coach pushed to the front of the throng. “As Vlad’s coach, I support him on the ice. As for what he does off the ice, it’s none of my business or anyone else’s.” He looked at Vlad, sympathy clear in his eyes. Leaning closer, he asked under his breath, “You wanna get out of here? We’ll cover you.”
“No, I’m not running. I’m not hiding.”
“Good man.” He clasped Vlad’s shoulder briefly before moving back a step.
“Who is your boyfriend? Tell us more about him,” one of the local television reporters asked.
“Joey works at the airport, helping with plane maintenance. He also served proudly for six years in the United States Army Delta Force.” More murmurs, and Vlad had to hold back a smile.
Yeah, my man’s a badass
. “He would never tell you this himself, but he is a highly decorated veteran, and I am proud to call him mine.” He turned to Joey, and a look passed between them before he returned his attention to the press assemblage. “I think we’re done here. Thank you for being patient during a very difficult situation for me.”
Despite the protests of the press, he and Joey walked away.
“I am so proud of you, baby,” Joey said as soon as they’d turned the corner and were away from the prying eyes of the crowd behind them. He kissed Vlad hard. “I love you.”
“I love you too. Let’s call Jason and Patrick and then spend the rest of the day in bed.”
“Sounds like a damn fine plan to me.”
Loose Id Titles by Cassandra Carr
Master Class
Talk to Me
* * * *
The SAFE HARBOR Series
See the Light
Hiding in Plain Sight
Cassandra Carr
Cassandra Carr is a multi-published, award-winning erotic romance writer with Loose Id, Siren, Sybarite Seductions, and Ellora's Cave, who lives in Western New York with her husband, Inspiration, and her daughter, Too Cute for Words. When not writing she enjoys watching hockey and hanging out on Twitter. Cassandra's book
Caught
was recently named Best BDSM Book 2011 by LoveRomancesCafe and her book
Impact
was named May 2012’s Book of the Month by BDSM Book Reviews.