Safe in His Arms (8 page)

He gritted his teeth throughout the procedure. Coming in the midst of her condom application would not be cool. He was determined to last until she had an orgasm. She’d thrown down a gauntlet with her fooling around, and he was as competitive as the next guy.

But as she rose over him, he realized that sex was not supposed to be a competition. Or a battle for control. She’d turned it into one, and somehow, some way, he wanted to change that.

Then her warmth slowly enveloped him, and he lost whatever reasoning power he’d had left. As she sank downward, he lifted up, drawn in by the most perfect connection he’d ever had with a woman. So good. So incredibly good.

He gazed at her, hoping to see that same sense of homecoming in her expression. Her eyes were closed. Damn it, was she going to hide from him
now
? “Valerie,” he murmured.

She shook her head and didn’t open her eyes.

“Don’t hide from me.”

“I’m afraid to let go.”

“Come here.” He gripped her shoulders and tried to pull her to him.

“No.”

But she was starting to contract around him, in spite of herself. He could feel it and knew that he wouldn’t be able to resist those rhythmic pulses. “You’re going to come,” he said. “Let it happen.”

“No. No!” And yet she erupted, and when she did, he couldn’t hold back. With a groan, he surged upward. Their mutual climax should have been a moment of triumph, a moment of joy. Instead, as he shuddered in the aftermath, all he felt was despair. She didn’t trust him, after all.

Then, like some cosmic joke, her smoke alarm went off. The minute it did, he knew what must have happened. She’d started supper, and it was burning on the stove.

With a shriek, she leaped from the bed and ran into the kitchen. He followed as soon as he rid himself of the condom and pulled up his briefs and jeans. The kitchen was filled with steam. She’d grabbed both pans, dumped them in the sink, and sprayed water on them.

The smoke alarm continued to screech. Adam grabbed a towel from a rack on the wall and waved it at the alarm, which gradually sputtered to a stop. He tried to tell himself this wasn’t a disaster, but he knew it was.

Valerie turned to him, her expression stricken. “I guess I’m not ready, Adam. I’m so sorry.”

“It takes time.” His heart ached for her. “Don’t give up on the basis of—”

“I know it’s cowardly of me, but . . . I want you to leave.”

He took it like a shot to the gut. “Don’t do this. Let’s open the wine, order pizza. It’ll be fine.”

“No, it won’t. Please go. I . . . need time. Lots more time.”

He couldn’t very well force her to let him stay. Because he’d never been fully undressed, he could simply fasten his shirt, tuck it into his jeans, and buckle his belt. Walking into her living room, he picked up his hat.

Then he glanced around. He might never be here again, and he wanted to remember it. Her sofa and chair were slip-covered in practical beige, but she’d strewn colorful throw pillows everywhere. The art on her walls was bright, too, including . . . what was that, anyway?

He peered at the whirligig of scarves tacked to the wall. He’d bet she’d made that, and it was inventive and pretty and filled with life, just like she was. Or how she could be, if she’d break out of this prison she’d constructed around herself.

He couldn’t just abandon her. “Valerie, can we talk about this? Do you realize you didn’t have a meltdown when the smoke alarm went off? You’re making progress!”

“Not enough progress. I need to be by myself for awhile. Good-bye, Adam.”

He was dismissed. Will had warned him not to mess up. He’d tried his damnedest not to. Somehow, though, he had, and now she was kicking him out. With a heavy sigh, he left.

Eight

Although Valerie had expected to cry after Adam closed her front door, she didn’t shed a single tear. Instead she wandered, zombie-like, back to the bedroom and pulled a bathrobe out of the closet. As she belted it around her waist, she stared at the bed and wondered if she’d have to donate it to charity. Sleeping in it would be impossible after this.

She’d have to burn that maxi dress, too, although at the moment she didn’t have the energy to figure out how to do it without setting off the smoke alarm
again
.

You didn’t have a meltdown when the smoke alarm went off. You’re making progress!
Adam’s words came back to her.

Now that he was gone, she could admit that he was right about that. The sound of the alarm had scared her, but not any more than that kind of noise had frightened her before the fire. Alarms were supposed to get the adrenaline pumping, so that people hearing them would take action.

She’d done that. After stupidly leaving the water boiling and the sauce heating, she’d headed into the bedroom with Adam. Smoke alarms were designed to keep carelessness from causing more serious harm, and everything had worked the way it was supposed to. She’d handled the smoking pans in the kitchen and they hadn’t started a fire.

But that wasn’t the main issue, and she knew it. Plopping down on the living room sofa, she gazed at the wine, and the bouquet lying on its side, gasping for water. The wine didn’t need her attention, but the blue roses and baby’s breath certainly did. Besides, blue roses cost the moon, and she couldn’t let her foul mood ruin them.

As she found a vase for the flowers and filled it with water, she thought about her abysmal behavior in the lovemaking department. She’d imagined herself as a clever and sophisticated lady, taking charge like that. But underneath she’d been motivated by fear of losing control.

She might have gotten away with her ruse if she hadn’t behaved like an idiot in the final moments. What normal woman rejects the idea of having an orgasm? She had, though, to her total embarrassment. Her body had surged ahead, demanding release, and she’d dug in her heels, as if she could keep it from happening.

No wonder Adam had been confused as hell. Any man would be. And now that she was thinking about Adam, she acknowledged that he hadn’t said a single thing, veiled or blatant, that indicated he cared about the difference in their financial circumstances. Not an issue.

She’d certainly done her best to create other issues, though. He’d come here with an open heart, and she’d insisted on playing games. Had she learned nothing about honest communication during her sessions with Rocket Fuel? Apparently not.

If Adam had any sense, he’d give up on her as a bad job. To top it off, she’d created tonight’s little drama on Adam’s first date since his divorce. Wasn’t that special? He might have hoped for a new start, and instead he’d been kicked in the teeth.

She didn’t know how she’d ever repair that damage, but for now, she could at least clean up the mess in the kitchen. Maybe scrubbing those two scorched pots would bring her some kind of clarity. Pushing herself to her feet, she headed into the kitchen, rolled up the sleeves of her bathrobe, and ran hot water in the sink.

She was up to her elbows in soapy water when the doorbell rang. Glancing at the clock, she realized it wasn’t that late. One of her neighbors could be dropping by to ask a favor.

The apartment complex didn’t allow solicitors, and Astrid and Melanie both knew she’d asked Adam to come for dinner, so they wouldn’t be showing up at her door. It had to be a neighbor. She could ignore them, of course, but it might be an emergency.

Or maybe they’d heard her smoke alarm and were worried about her. Goodness knows she’d be worried if she heard a smoke alarm in the building. Tightening the belt on her robe, she ran her fingers through her hair and went to the door.

Adam stood on the other side.

She stared at him. “What are you doing here?”

“Forcing the issue.” He walked in without being invited.

She was so startled by his boldness that she stepped aside and let him in.

The minute she closed the door he spun to face her. “Listen, Valerie, you and I are closer to making a go of things than you think.”

“We are?” She gazed at him, stunned by his sudden appearance. She’d sent him away. He hadn’t stayed gone.

“Yes, damn it! Remember the elevator? You might have lost it if those two guys had wedged their way in, but they didn’t, and you made it through that first ride.”

“Yes, but an elevator ride is not the same as—”

“Sex? Why not? You were really close to enjoying yourself, but the last part, the climax, was too much for you. But you were almost there! You need to try it again.”

She blinked. “When?”

“Now. With me.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I’m very serious. Every cowboy knows that when you fall off a horse, the best thing to do is get right back on.”

She stared at him. “You’re insane, Adam Templeton.” But a tiny flame of hope flickered deep within her. If he hadn’t lost faith, maybe she shouldn’t, either.

“Maybe I am insane, but I’ve been driving around town thinking about you, and about us, and that whirligig you made with the scarves, and I—”

“The
scarves
? When did you notice the scarves?”

“As I was leaving. They are so
you
—the part of you that wants to be free of all this crap.”

“Don’t read anything into those scarves. I put them up right before you arrived to hide a smear of yellow paint. It took me about ten minutes.”

He glanced at the scarves and back at her. “You just made my point, Madam Counselor. Look what happens when you let yourself do something crazy and spontaneous.” He gestured to it. “A burst of beauty.” He stepped closer. “That’s what you’re all about, Valerie. Don’t give up on rediscovering who you are.”

She began to tremble. Much as she wanted to deny what he was saying, it rang true. But was she brave enough to try again? What if she couldn’t let go?

She stalled for time. “Listen, it’s seven forty-five, and you haven’t had dinner. You must be starving.”

He shook his head. “I’m not starving.” He took another step closer. “Come to bed with me, Valerie Wolitzky. If it works out the way I hope it will, we can order takeout later.”

She shook so much she worried that her teeth would start chattering. “You’re giving m-me a s-second chance?”

“I’m giving
us
a second chance.”

“Why?” She held her breath.

“Because I think . . . I think we might have something special.” His silver gaze searched hers. “And if I drive away from this apartment building without making love to you again, we might never find out if we do.”

It was now or never. She felt like a skydiver at the open door of a plane. She gulped. “Okay.”

“I have one condition, though.”

“Wh-what?” If he didn’t put his arms around her soon, she was going to shake herself apart.

“No games. No one-upmanship. Just . . . two people loving each other.”

She nodded.

“Be brave, sweetheart.”

She nodded again.

“And don’t look so grim.” He smiled down at her. “I think you’re going to love this.”

* * *

Adam hoped to hell she would respond to him. He wished she hadn’t marched back to the bedroom like a condemned person heading for a firing squad. But at least she’d agreed to go. She hadn’t thrown him out again.

The room was dim, and maybe that was for the best this time. She walked over to the bed, took off her bathrobe, and crawled under the covers. That was okay, too. She could have as much protection as she needed in the beginning.

She had a rocker in the bedroom, something he hadn’t noticed before. He sat in it so he could take off his boots. He undressed as quickly as he could, because he had a feeling she was over there hyperventilating at the thought of letting down the barriers.

Knowing she was giving him another chance to make love to her was all the stimulation he needed to grow hard and ready. He put the condom on before he climbed into bed with her. Once he started this process, he didn’t want to stop for anything. She might change her mind.

Poor thing, she was shaking so much. He gathered her close and began stroking her while he murmured words of comfort. She quivered less, and her skin began to warm under his fingertips.

Rolling her to her back, he moved over her and kissed her forehead, her closed eyelids, her cheeks, and finally, her mouth. He wasn’t sure if she’d kiss him back, but she did. Sweet heaven, she did.

She began to touch him, too. Her hands trembled a little, but perhaps it was eagerness now, not fear. Encouraged by that, he began an easy journey down her body, kissing and caressing her. When he reached her smooth belly, she tensed. He’d halfway expected that.

“Adam, don’t . . .”

“Okay, I won’t.” As much as he’d love to taste all of her, he’d give up that pleasure for now. She wasn’t ready to be that vulnerable. Not yet.

Instead, he kissed his way back to her mouth as he continued to caress her hips, her thighs, and finally, that sweet spot he craved entrance to. She was wet. Very wet. His heart thudded with anticipation as he moved between her thighs.

Her expression was in shadow, but her sharp intake of breath told him to go slow. He eased his cock in a little bit and paused. She grasped his hips, and for a moment, he thought she might try to stop him. But, no, she was silently urging him to go deeper.

With a groan, he sank into her. This was so right. They had to make it work between them. And he would do his level best to show her why.

Propping his weight on his forearms, he leaned down to feather a kiss over her lips. “Thank you,” he murmured.

Her breath hitched. “I’m so much trouble.”

“And so worth it.” He drew back and slid in again as tiny arrows of pleasure shot through him.

“You should . . . have given up.”

“I couldn’t.” Driven by his own needs, trying to keep his mind on hers, he began a steady rhythm.

She trembled beneath him. “I don’t know why.”

“Because . . .” The reason flowed through him in a river of certainty. “Because I love you.”

“Oh, Adam.” And she began to cry.

God, he’d messed up again. He couldn’t force himself to break the connection, but he stopped moving. Buried deep within her, his cock twitched with impatience.

He kissed her wet cheeks. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

“I know.” She sniffed. “Don’t stop, Adam. Please don’t stop.”

“But you’re crying.”

“Because you’re so
wonderful
.” Her tears continued to flow. “Just love me,” she said in a thick voice. “Please love me.”

“I do. I started loving you the first day. I—”

“I mean
make
love to me!”

She sounded desperate, and as a matter of fact, so was he. He began to thrust, and this time she rose to meet him. She might be crying, but she was completely into this and reaching for her climax without hesitation, without fear.

Joy filled him as he moved faster. “That’s it, Valerie! That’s it!”

“I know . . . Adam . . .
Adam
.” With a triumphant cry, she came, her body clenching around him as she both laughed and sobbed out her gratitude.

A second later, he tumbled into that brilliant, multicolored world with her, and he held on for dear life. He would never let her go. Never.

Long moments later, he lay with his head on her shoulder and listened to the glorious sound of her breathing. She wasn’t crying anymore. Quite the contrary. Judging from the curve of her lips, she was smiling.

She stroked his back and sighed. “I hate to make you move, but—”

Instantly he pushed himself up. “I’m too heavy.”

“No!” She wrapped her arms around him. “I want you right there, but you have to lift your head and look at me.”

“Okay.” He wasn’t worried about her taking control now. Not after she’d been so thoroughly lost in his arms. They’d leaped that hurdle together. He hadn’t messed up, after all.

“Maybe you should turn on the bedside lamp, although I warn you, my eyes will be red, so don’t freak.”

“We don’t have to turn on the light.”

“Yes, we do. Can you reach it?”

“Yep.” Balancing himself on one arm, he stretched out the other and pushed the small switch. Then he blinked in the glare.

“I’ll wait until your eyes adjust.”

He blinked a few times. “I’m fine. And yeah, your eyes could use some saline drops.”

“What a romantic thing to say.”

He laughed. “That’s me, Mr. Romance.”

“I wasn’t being sarcastic. It is romantic, because you’re such a caretaker. Of course you’d notice I need drops for my eyes. I cherish that about you.”

“Well . . . okay. Thanks.”

“I cherish lots of things about you, Adam. I wanted the light on so we could look at each other, because this is important. You see, I love you, too.”

His chest tightened and his throat closed. Damned if he didn’t feel a little misty-eyed himself.

She cupped his cheek. “I think you liked hearing that.”

“Yeah.” He cleared the emotion from his throat. “I liked it a lot. I liked it so much, in fact, that you’ve given me an idea.”

She smiled up at him. “What’s that?”

“I was just wondering . . .” He gazed into her green eyes. “If you, Valerie Wolitzky, would do me the great honor of marrying me and making me the happiest guy in the world.”

Her smile widened. “Yes. Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!”

“I have to warn you I’m not perfect.”

“Maybe not, but you’re the perfect man for me.”

He thought his smile might be even brighter than hers. No doubt about it, this was the best damned day . . . and night . . . of his life.