Safe Word (9 page)

“I don’t even know you.”

“You’re right. Where are my manners? My name is Daniel Abruzzo. I’m the man who got that piece of shit out of your life. I took care of your problem and I was wondering if you could help me with mine.” My father’s murderer held out his hand for me to shake. I took his hand, knowing I was making a deal with the devil. There was no turning back. I grabbed my beer and held it up.

“To new friends.”

“Was that about me?” Lily craned her neck to look at the screen of my phone. I shoved it back in my jeans and cracked my neck.

“If I want you to know something, I will tell you. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

Her eyes narrowed and she folded her arms over her chest.

“They will find you and me…”

I took a step closer to her, trying not to lose control even in the face of her threats.

“And what? What’s gonna happen to me?”

“They’re going to send you back to prison.”

I laughed and ran my knuckles over her cheek.

“Men like me don’t go to prison. At least, not for long.” I froze, and my hand fell away from her face. “You fucking knew.” I rubbed my jaw roughly as I recalled the national coverage about my release. Rose must have known where I was for months. Not only that, but why did she wait so long to find me?

“Knew what?” her eyebrows pulled together as she feigned innocence, but I could tell when she was lying.

I rubbed my hands over my head as I took a step back, unable to process everything that was happening. It was
my
fault Lily was here.

“Fuck!”

“Please tell me what is wrong.” Lily took a step toward me with her arm outstretched.

“Don’t! Don’t fucking touch me.” I held up my hand to stop her. “What I don’t understand is why you came back, when you knew what I had been accused of.”

“Cole…”

“Answer the fucking question!” I took a deep breath, struggling not to lose control completely.

“I knew you didn’t do it.”

“You don’t fucking
know
me, Rose. Does this look innocent to you? Huh?” I pointed to the spare bedroom with the lock dangling from its metal closure.

“I’m Lily now,” she whispered as she wrapped her arms around herself. I leaned in closer, knowing she was terrified.

“You’re whoever the
fuck
I want you to be. For the next two weeks I fucking own you and, if you’re lucky, you may still be alive when all of this is over.” She had awakened an animal inside of me, and as I spat my hatred at her I could still taste her on my tongue. I hated myself for giving in to her. Tears welled in her eyes and her chin quivered as she struggled to keep from breaking down. I cupped her cheek, running the pad of my finger over her silky skin. “Don’t cry, Rose. Things are just about to get fun.” I placed a gentle kiss over her lower lip and ran my thumb over it, soothing her. “Can you taste that, Rose?” All traces of anger had left my voice, but something had snapped inside of me. “I can still taste your sweetness, still smell you all over me.” I leaned down and ran my nose up the curve of her neck, inhaling. I grabbed her wrist as my mouth reached her ear.

“Look what you’re doing to me, Rose.” I placed her hand on my jeans so she could feel how stiff my cock was from just thinking about her. She tried to pull back but I tightened my grip and held her against me. “Do you still think I’m the good guy?” I smiled as she jerked her hand back. A twisted laugh escaped me as she stormed off to the spare bedroom and slammed the door.

I swiped my arm across the counter, sending bowls and other miscellaneous items flying and crashing to the floor. She was an obsession, and after I’d lost her, I had convinced myself that she had never been real. I had cut off all emotion toward everyone, and now I was overloaded as everything came flooding back to me.

Chapter Eight
I Hate the Rain

“You have to eat,” I called through the door.

“I’ve lost my appetite.”

“It wasn’t a question. I am telling you that you
will
eat.” I took a step back and listened to her shuffle around before the door opened. “Are those sweatpants supposed to stop me from touching you?” My words were laced with sarcasm. I had no intention of forcing her to do anything. I wanted her to want it just as badly as I did. I could see how color tinted her cheeks whenever I made mention of something sexual, forced or otherwise.

“I thought you were hungry.” She swallowed but didn’t take a step back. I brushed the dark hair from her forehead before gripping it loosely in my hand.

“I’ve already eaten, darlin’.” I winked as her eyes widened like saucers and mine drifted down over the swell of her breasts to my oversize sweatpants that hung from her hips. I let my hand fall and walked over to the couch. I needed to keep my distance from her. No matter how it ended it would fucking kill me. But making her off-limits only made me want her more. I watched her walk across the room and take her seat next to me.

“What’s this?” she asked as she leaned forward, examining the plates of food on the coffee table.

“Desert-fire-pasta. I thought we could use some real food.” I grabbed the remote and turned on the television for a little background noise.

“Thank you.” She smiled as she reached for her plate. I laughed and shook my head.

“What?”

“Not hungry, huh?” I grabbed my plate and sat back on the couch, my eyes fixed on the TV. I didn’t need to look at her to know she was rolling her eyes and making a face. Some things never change.

I turned the volume up and began eating my shrimp and noodle concoction. The news was reporting a murder a few miles from here. They were assuming it was a drug deal gone bad, but nothing is ever what it seems around here. If you wanted someone to disappear it was fairly easy to do. I glanced over at Rose as I thought of how easily she had slipped away. The idea of keeping her locked away here forever crossed my mind.

I could feel her eyes on me and my gaze drifted to the window. The sun had set and it was the beginning of another restless night of fighting my demons. Large raindrops splattered across the window. I hated the rain.

My eyes scanned the sidewalk-chalk artwork from the neighborhood kids. When I saw the drawing of a large yellow sun, I smiled knowing that Rose was able to sneak out and spend a little time with me. I dreaded the nights that the sidewalk was covered in bright-blue raindrops. I slipped beside her house and quietly made my way to her bedroom, an office that they had converted into a room for her while the upstairs was being remodeled.

“We are going to get caught!” Rose giggled as she stuck her leg out of her bedroom window. I grabbed her waist and held on to her as she slipped outside.

“No one will catch us. Besides, if they do you can just say I kidnapped you.”

She moved her hand to smack my chest and I grabbed it before she could connect.

“You’re gonna pay for that.” I leaned in closer, savoring that fraction of a second that the world stopped spinning and she became my gravity. Her lips met mine and she inhaled as her lips parted. I took the opportunity to run my tongue over her lower lip, but she pulled back and stopped me. I rested my forehead against hers and closed my eyes as I begged my heart rate to slow down.

Rose leaned forward and sat her plate on the coffee table, and the noise pulled me from my memories. I glanced over at her and her eyes were fixed on the window.

“I hate the rain.” She frowned as she crossed her legs in front of her on the couch.

“I remember.” I looked back at the window as the wind picked up, beating the rain against the glass. “A flower needs the rain to grow just as much as it needs the sunshine.”

“So you say.”

“Yeah, I guess I say a lot of things. One thing I do know, this storm that’s coming isn’t going to be easy. I think it’s time for bed.” I pushed myself up from the couch and grabbed our plates to put in the sink.

“Already?” Rose stirred in her seat but didn’t get up.

I dropped the dishes in the sink and they clanked against the bowls from our breakfast. Pulling open the drawer next to the fridge, I grabbed my gun from underneath the false bottom and stuck it into the waist of my jeans. Thunder rumbled and a flicker of lightening sent shadows scattering across the apartment.

“Get up, Rose.” I stalked into the living room and grabbed the remote, turning off the television and drowning us in darkness.”

“I’m scared.”

“Of the storm or me, sweetheart?”

“I don’t want to be locked in there while the weather is bad.”

“Fuck, Rose. There aren’t even any windows.”

“Can’t I just sleep on the couch?”

I laughed as I glanced around the apartment. This was her only option. I couldn’t risk her taking off in the middle of the night. She was testing me. Fucking testing me to see if I was going to be a pushover and give her what she wanted.

“You can walk on your own two feet or I can make you go.”

Her eyes narrowed and I was actually hoping she would take plan B. I enjoyed a challenge.

“You know I’m scared.”

“I am aware you are scared, I just don’t fucking care.”

“Yes you do, Cole.” She could see right through the facade and into my heart, which she had claimed years ago.

“Fine. Have it your way.” I rounded the coffee table and grabbed her by her shoulders, pulling her to her feet.

“Let go of me!” she yelled as her hand flew up and connected with the side of my face. I was in shock and it took a moment before I realized what had just happened.

“You’re going to pay for that one.” I grabbed her wrist and spun her around so her back was against my chest. I pulled her arm up between us, bending it at the elbow until she was on tiptoe.

“Oww! Let go of me, you fucking asshole!”

“Give me your other arm.” I raised her wrist slightly higher. “Now.”

She complied and I relaxed my grip so she could lower herself back onto the flats of her feet.

“I’m in fucking charge here. You do what I say when I say it or I will make this little time we have together a fucking nightmare,” I spoke into her ear quietly so she knew I meant every word I was saying.

“I thought you loved me.”

“If you understand, now is the time to let me know.” I couldn’t respond to her question of love. How could she ever think that what I had felt for her Hadn’t been real? I existed for her.

She nodded and I released her arms, causing her to tumble onto the couch in front of her.

“Should we try this again?”

Lightening flashed and I could see the anger and hurt in her chocolate eyes.

“Get up.”

Rose didn’t hesitate as she pushed to her feet and tugged on her T-shirt.

“Let’s go.” I turned toward the bedrooms. “You can sleep with me tonight.”

Chapter Nine
Won’t Say It Twice

I waited for Rose to slink into the bedroom before I slammed the door closed, causing her to jump. She thought she had won by not having to sleep in her room. She underestimated me. I’ve comforted her on more than one occasion while she was scared to sleep, slipping in her window and stroking her hair until her breathing evened out. I’ve never been right since. Every cloudy day that’s passed since she disappeared has been pure fucking torture.

Thunder cracked, louder this time, as the storm grew closer. Rose sat on the edge of the bed facing me. I undid my jeans and pushed them lower on my hips, placing my gun on the dresser.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting ready for bed.”

“Why are you taking your pants off?”

“I sleep naked, sweetheart. It’s too hot to be wearing clothes to bed.”

“I’ll take my chances at dying of a heat stroke,” she mumbled as she lay back on my pillow. Her T-shirt inched up as she put her arm under her head, revealing a tiny sliver of her toned stomach.

“Suit yourself.” I shoved my jeans down and my cock sprang free, hard and throbbing from seeing her laid out on my bed.

Her eyes widened and I couldn’t help myself. I wrapped my hand around my dick and slowly stroked it. I wasn’t shy and had nothing to be ashamed of. The only complaint I’ve ever had in the bedroom was being too large.

“You sure you don’t want to rethink your sleeping attire?”

She rolled her eyes and turned her gaze to the window on the opposite side of the room. I walked toward her, then placed a hand over her and my knee between her legs.

“What are you doing?” Her hands hit my chest to push me away, but I didn’t budge.

“This is my side of the bed.” I continued to crawl over her to the other side, letting my body fall hard on the mattress. I pulled my sheet up to my waist, but it did little to conceal my hard-on.

Lightening lit up the room and thunder cracked as I ran my hand over my stomach, thinking of how all of the crazy shit that had happened lately had brought me back to Rose.

“Thank you,” she whispered as she rolled to face me and another flash lit up her face.

“If you want to show me how thankful you are…there are ways.”

“Why do you hate me so much?”

I reached for her hand and was surprised not to be met with resistance. I kept my eyes on hers as I lowered it to the sheet and placed it on my cock. “Does that feel like hate to you?”

“Cole…I don’t want to.” She began to pull back so I placed my hand over hers and began slowly moving it up and down my shaft. The sheet slid back and forth over my head sending shots of pleasure rippling up through my stomach.

“I think you do, Rose. I think you like it when I take control.”

“No one likes to be powerless.”

“You have more power over me than you realize.” I pushed the sheet down and placed her hand directly on my dick, wrapping her warm fingers around it. “Is it less dirty when you don’t have to call the shots, sweetheart?” She didn’t respond, but she didn’t withdraw. “We are perfect for each other then. I don’t know how to let go of the control.”

I could see worry cross her face as she was overthinking it.

“Stroke me.” She stared at me as if she didn’t understand what I had said. “Now.” I reached over my body with my left arm and placed it on the side of her neck, pulling her face closer to mine. “I told you to do something, darlin’.” My thumb traced her jaw. “I won’t say it twice.”

She sucked in a ragged breath and her teeth dug into her lip as she slowly moved her hand up and down. I pulled her closer and kissed her until she let her lip fall free. I sucked it into my mouth, running my tongue over it. She sighed and her hand began to move faster and her grip tightened.

“Good girl.” I let my head fall back onto the pillow. I’ve had a lot of girls come in and out of this apartment, and I have never once taken advantage of any of them. If Rose hadn’t wanted to be in my bed, believe me, she wouldn’t have been. But I still felt a twinge of guilt for what we were doing. I wasn’t being completely truthful with her, and I was damn certain she was hiding something important from me. I also wasn’t sure where she and I would stand when this was over…if we survived it. None of it mattered. I wouldn’t be getting my heart broken again, and if Rose did…well Rose had it coming for a long time.

Her thumb slipped over the tip of my dick, sliding easily over the sensitive skin from the drop of pre-come.

“Is this good?”

“So fucking good.”

She smiled and it took all of my control not to pin her down and fuck that pretty little mouth of hers. I wanted her, every part of her, but we weren’t at that point yet. I would take my time. I didn’t have a say in when we saw each other or who knew about us when we were teenagers, but now I had the power and I had every intention of keeping it.

“Kiss me again.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do. That’s the point.”

“You’re so mean.”

I glanced over at her as her movements stilled and she narrowed her eyes. I grabbed her hand from my cock and flipped over on top of her, pinning it beside her head. I lowered myself onto her, pushing my dick against her. I groaned at how good it felt and I had to take a deep breath before I could speak.

“When I want to kiss you, I’ll fucking kiss you.” My lips brushed against hers as I spoke. “And when I want to fuck you.” I ground my hips into hers and she let out a soft moan. “I will.” I slid against her again and her hips pushed back against mine. “But not before you beg me to.”

I reluctantly raised myself off her body and lay back beside her.

“Now finish what you started or I’ll show you how mean I can be.” My eyes drifted down her body. “I do like that tight little ass of yours.”

“You wouldn’t.”

I raised my eyebrow as I laughed.

“You should know better by now.”

Her slender fingers wrapped around the base of my cock and she slowly began stroking me again, twisting her wrist with each rise of her hand.

“Fuck,” I groaned as her breath blew against my ear. It was coming out as ragged as mine. She was getting hot by getting me off and it was such a fucking turn on.

“Is that good?”

“That’s fucking perfect.” The praise seemed to spark something inside of her because she began sliding her thumb over the sensitive spot under my head and my balls began to tighten. “You’re going to make me come, sweetheart.”

Thunder boomed, scaring her and causing her grip to tighten around me. I was ready to fucking explode. I grabbed her hand and increased her pace as I turned my head to look her in the eye. Her face was flushed, eyes hooded as her tongue darted out and ran over her upper lip.

“Are you wet for me, darlin’?” I let go of her hand and slid my fingers into the waistband of her sweatpants. Her silky smooth skin was damp and ready for me, but I wasn’t going to fuck her. Not yet. I rubbed the pad of my finger over her clit and her mouth fell open as her eyes closed. “Look at me.” I slipped my finger lower, dipping inside of her entrance. Her eyes fluttered open as I pulled back out, rubbing over her mound.

“Oh, God. Please…”

I leaned in, running my tongue over the shell of her ear. “I love to hear you beg.” I grazed the lobe of her ear with my teeth and she shuddered.

“Please.”

“Please what? Tell me what you want me to do to you.” My lips travelled down her neck as my fingers slid inside her slit. Her hips pushed down on my hand as she ran her palm over the head of my cock.

“You want me to fuck you with my hand?” I moved my lips along her cheek until they hovered over hers.

“Yes,” she panted. “Please…”

I cocked my head to the side, keeping my mouth just out of reach of hers. “Say it.”

“Please fuck me with your fingers. Please…”

I slipped my middle finger inside of her, growling as she tightened her hand around my cock.

“You’re so fucking tight, sweetheart.”

I pressed my palm against her clit as her hips began to roll and she rode my hand. I slipped another finger inside of her causing her to whimper but she didn’t slow. “Cole…”

“Fuck.” I pushed my mouth hard against hers as her pussy began to pulse around my fingers. I slid my tongue into her eager mouth. She mirrored my actions, kissing me with equal passion, as she unraveled in my hands. I could feel myself go over the edge as my body stiffened and I came hard in her hand.

I pressed my forehead against hers as we both struggled to right our breathing.

“Kiss me again, please…” I wanted to tell her no, but those big fucking chocolate eyes were hard to refuse. I pulled my hand from her pants and ran the tip of my middle finger over her lower lip, followed by my tongue, letting her taste her own juices on her lips before slipping farther inside. I pressed my hand into the small of her back and bowed her body against mine, causing my cock to twitch again.

“That was a hell of a thank you, darling’. Get some sleep. I have a lot to do tomorrow.” I kept my arm locked around her. I couldn’t risk her trying to run.

Thunder rumbled in the distance but the worst of the storm had passed. Rose rolled over in my arms and pressed her ass against me.

“Even with everything…I’m glad I found you,” she said before sighing and adjusting her head on her pillow.

I lay awake for the next hour or so listening to her steady, quiet breathing. I had kidnapped her and put her life in danger and she was still content in my arms. Touching her was becoming addicting, and I knew I needed to put some rules in place if I was going to let it continue. As if I had a choice.

“You can’t be here! They are still awake.” Rose was completely panicked that I was here, but she still backed up from her bedroom window to allow me to enter.

“I needed to see you. The weekends are too fucking long.” I shoved my hood off my head and ran my hand through my messy hair.

“I know, but if they find us.”

“They won’t find us.” I put my hands on her hips, squeezing lightly. “Just let me be with you. I can’t think straight when I don’t know if you’re okay.”

“Did something happen?” she asked, her eyes full of concern. I stroked her hair, tucking it behind her ear. Even in my darkest moments, Rose could make me smile.

“You don’t need to worry about me, sweetheart.” I pressed my lips against her forehead as I thought of the fight I had gotten into with my father. He was completely wasted and going after my mother again. I stepped between them, taking the brunt of his blow before reciprocating. His head bounced off the wall before his limp body hit the floor. My mother lost it, screaming that I had killed him. She could only be so lucky.

“Of course I worry about you, Cole. I love you.”

I pulled back to look in her eyes, certain I had just imagined her words.

“You love me?”

Rose nodded, chewing on her lower lip.

“I love you so much.” I tilted my head and pushed my lips against hers. Her hands quickly found their way to the back of my neck, fisting in my hair as I pressed my tongue against hers. I walked her backward toward her bed, holding her around the waist as the back of her knees bumped into her mattress.

I lowered her to the bed, lying over her as I continued to kiss her.

“I’m not ready.” Her breathless response put a halt to our activity and I rolled beside her, pulling her into my side.

“I’m not going anywhere, Rose. I can wait. How about we make a few rules?”

“Rules?” Her eyebrow rose as she snuggled deeper into my side, her leg pulled over my stomach.

I rolled to my side to face her, keeping her leg up over my hip.

“Sure. Like I can do this.” I kissed her again as her hand trailed over my side.

“I like that.” She giggled quietly.

I shook the memory from my head as I tightened my arms around Rose’s waist and forced myself to get some sleep.