Safeword Quinacridone (44 page)

Cara remembered Tricia’s words from Thursday, saying Connie didn’t like her because of something from the past, and the coincidence seemed too much. She sighed and said, “Tricia mentioned something about Connie knowing me from a while back, but I don’t remember her. The office gossip says she threatened a lawsuit as security escorted her out. What else did she say?”

The muscles around Travis’ eyes constricted and the flesh over his jaw rippled, and for the first time she understood what people meant when they said Travis could be scary sometimes. This wasn’t the monster she was used to, the one she loved so much in the bedroom, but another who she had no doubt would find great pleasure in taking very non-consensual revenge.

“She said when I saw who you really were I wouldn’t want your filth in my life and I’d regret having met you. Fuck all, if she’s behind this I’ll destroy her.”

He kissed her forehead and his voice softened as he said, “I love you, and that means
all
of you — even the part that once went out looking for men to use you. I wish I’d found you sooner so I could help meet your needs earlier, but I’m thankful you’re in my life now and I never,
ever
want to lose you.”

Closing his eyes, he
inhaled deeply
, and as he
breathed
out his shoulders dropped and his face relaxed. He opened his eyes and said, “When we see the pictures we’ll deal with them. I’ll have my PR people make a statement about our past relationships having no bearing on the present and our love will only be strengthened as we stand together. Or, I don’t know, they’re better at wording things but it’s the sentiment I want the world to hear. Or perhaps one of my friends should leak it, or Twitter it, or something.”

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, saying, “We’ll have to be seen somewhere spectacular this weekend so people can see us together and happy and going on with our lives. I’ll put some feelers out, see if there’s a big event in Hollywood or New York I can get us invited to.”

When his PR person emailed two photos several hours later, and then when even more pictures were published on the tabloid’s website a few hours after that, Cara wanted to curl up and die in a dark hole.

The images in the printed tabloid had the nudity blurred and covered, but the rag’s website had the uncensored versions, complete with a totally nude Cara on all fours and a large muscled man fingering her in the ass. Another picture had him fucking her ass while she was obviously in the throes of orgasm. She didn’t recognize the man, but the outfit draped over the foot of the bed was one she wore while taking some college classes, when she went to the clubs looking to get fucked.

Tricia texted a simple “You okay?”, and Cara finally broke down in tears.

When Travis tried to comfort her she pushed him away angrily, waving her arms as she exclaimed, “Everyone knows! They’ll all see it! My
family
is going to see it!”

She ran from the room, intending to escape to her solarium but as she raced by the picture Travis had bought more than a year and a half earlier, she skidded to a stop and froze.

Choice
. Papa Bear had told her she’d painted not just fear and pain, but choice. The girls had chosen to stay out and keep picking berries, and now all available choices were awful.

Travis caught up to her and stopped in the doorway as if he were afraid she’d run again if he came closer. “I’m so sorry Cara
.
I wish my money could make it stop but even if I’d bought this tabloid piece of trash off, Connie would’ve just sold it to another. I feel so helpless, and I hate that it wouldn’t have happened if I’d stayed out of your life.”

Looking back at the
painting,
she said. “Why are you sorry? I’m the one who fucked so many people I ended up in the tabloids.”

“Because the bastards wouldn’t have printed them if you weren’t my girlfriend.”

He sounded genuinely distressed and she turned from the painting to give him her full attention as she said, “You know I’m pissed at myself, and at Connie, and whichever asshole videotaped us, right? I’m not mad at
you
.”

Cara felt guilty as his eyes closed and he exhaled in profound relief, the tension visibly leaving his face and shoulders. She walked to him and pulled him into a hug, saying, “I’m sorry if you thought I was angry with you. I brought this on myself, and my only regret is sleeping with what’s-his-name. I don’t regret being your girlfriend, not even with this mess falling into my lap.”

His phone rang again and when she was sure it was business related and not his PR people with even more bad news
,
she dried her tears and called Tricia. “I’m mortified but Travis assures me I’ll survive and live to see another day. I’m not convinced, but he’s usually right about these things.”

“Well, can I just say if you must have your pictures splashed across the world naked and having ass-sex with a guy, it could be a lot worse. I mean, your makeup is great, your hair has this perfect sexy windblown thing going, and I don’t know who the dude is but with those abs and arms? I’d do him. He’s
gorgeous
. And with the orgasm you’re having in one of the shots, most of the females on the planet will be jealous of you, and the males envious of him. So hold your head high. It sounds like Travis has your back and the two of you together can handle anything. Y’know?”

Cara almost started crying again, both horrified and soothed by Tricia’s words. “Only you would attempt to point out the entire world is seeing me with a dick up my ass and orgasming, as a way to try to make me feel better about it.”

“Hey, no sense making it the elephant in the conference room no one’ll dare mention. I’ve seen them and it’s likely everyone else you know will, too — even if they don’t really want to, it’s like a train wreck they can’t keep from peeking at. Own it, deal with it, and move on. Travis has had to cope with the tabloids saying lots of nasty stuff over the years and we’ve all had to figure out how to function at work in spite of the gossip and attention.”

“I think I’ll just stay here for the rest of my life and work from home. I can be one of those reclusive artists who never go out in public.”

Tricia’s voice was sympathetic as she said, “The longer you stay away the harder it’ll be to come back, so my advice is to show up tomorrow even if you didn’t plan to, and even if only for a few minutes to grab something from your office.”

Travis’ cell phone rang again and this time it sounded like a conversation about her, so Cara thanked Tricia and ended the call so she could hear his side of the discussion.

“It’s illegal to videotape people in private without their consent. I realize the tabloid didn’t film them, but they’re making a profit from an illegal activity and I want to see someone do a perp-walk for this, preferably
several
someones.”

He was silent a moment and said, “Okay, good
. F
ollow that line and see where it goes. Next, I want the name of the man in the photos but I don’t want anyone to find out I don’t know who he is. Everyone’ll assume Cara will tell me, but this was a one-night stand and she doesn’t remember his name.”

Cara was mortified, even though he’d warned he’d have to level with his most trusted advisors else their advice would be worthless. Plus, she reflected, he’d softened the truth, as she’d told Travis she didn’t remember the guy at all.

She tuned back into the conversation and heard, “You know me well enough to know I don’t think less of her, but cherish her capacity to enjoy sex so much with no apologies.” He sighed. “I doubt the tight-assed pricks of the world who only have boring sex will understand though, so see if you can dig up a name without letting anyone know you want it. And lastly, I want to know who they paid for the photos.”

He glanced up at Cara as he spoke into the phone, as if wanting to see her reaction to his words. “I don’t believe it was the jock with the big cock who sold them
,
but I want to know if he was given a portion of the pay-off. I assume he videotaped it originally but I’m not interested in crucifying him if some bitch secretly copied the video and sold it without his consent. Oh, and furthermore, I’d love to put the fear of prison in anyone who might consider holding out to sell the video for a higher price.”

Another pause, as Cara tried to process his words. He sounded furious, though Cara knew he wasn’t angry with her, but with the people who’d bought and sold the images. She was also beginning to realize he wanted vengeance
,
and she needed time to decide if she wanted the same revenge or if she’d prefer it just be dropped.

Travis’ voice replied again with a much more determined and grim tone. “As a matter of fact I plan to spend time in Nashville Wednesday evening, as I assume all banking transactions will be processed by then.” A pause and then, “Yes yes, I know, but I wrote some of the software those banks hide behind so trust me when I say I can get in and out without anyone knowing I was there.”

When he hung up Cara said, “Is it a good idea to have those kinds of conversation
s
over the phone?”

His smile was practically feral. “I provided my attorney’s and PR people with encryption apps for their phones a while back. No one eavesdropped.”

“I almost hate to ask, but why are you going to Nashville Wednesday?”

He walked to his desk and turned his back to it, propping his hip as he rubbed both hands over his face. “I’ll tell you if you want, but before I do you should decide if you want plausible deniability, or whether you’re willing to lie for me in a court of law.”

She was quiet a moment and he added, “They can’t require people who are married to testify against each other, so I suppose I should add, ‘or whether you’re prepared to marry me to keep from having to lie for me in a court of law’.”

“Please don’t do anything illegal on my account.”

He shook his head. “I need to figure out who’s involved. When they attack you, they attack me. We’re in this together.”

She didn’t say anything and he added. “Knowledge is power. I’ll only gather data Wednesday and will take some time to decide what, if anything, I should do with the information.”

She walked to him and wrapped her arms around his torso, her face against his chest. “Okay, no plausible deniability. I’m not saying I’ll lie for you under oath, but I’ll keep my mouth shut about whatever you tell me. What’s in Nashville?”

“It’s in Atlanta, actually, but it’s a business I own in a
very
roundabout sort of way. If someone were to track the paperwork they might eventually figure it out but they’d have to go through a dozen corporations in almost as many countries before finding their way back to me. It functions as one of the onramps to the ‘net, making it easy to hide where you’ve really come from if you need to do some hacking.” His smile had a little pride in it when he said, “I’ve even been into the Pentagon’s servers and the FBI databases a few times without being caught. Also, I’ll go Thursday when the weekly meeting’s over, not Wednesday evening.”

“Why’d you tell your attorney it’d be Wednesday, and in Nashville?”

He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “I learned a long time ago how to find a balance between giving enough information to the people I pay to protect me legally, so they aren’t blindsided with the truth, but not so much they can sink me if they decide to assuage their conscience. So, in this case I let him know I plan to do it but not the correct timing. If for some reason he feels the need to tell someone, if they look for me Wednesday night they won’t see me.” He shrugged. “If they’re still looking Thursday afternoon, which I doubt, they’ll be looking in the wrong place.”

“You’re going to hack into bank accounts, to find out who was paid for the pictures?”

His hands touched the outsides of her upper arms, urging her back, and a hand moved under her chin, lifting it until their eyes met. “It’s the easiest and fastest way for me to get the answers I need so I can figure out our best course of action. If Connie did this on her own we’ll find a way to go after her and the tabloid, but if I see some of the money leaving her account and going into his? Then we’ll go after him too. I proxied around the world and telnetted into a computer in another country, and I have it hacking into her personal computer at home. She’s smart, and has some strong protections up. I don’t want her to know I’m there, and doing it with finesse takes longer.”

He shrugged and pulled her back into his arms. “It may be this evening or tomorrow morning before I get in, but then I can see if the video is on her hard drive, which might tell us more about the guy, though I’m guessing there’ll be some emails that’ll give me his name.”

Cara pushed and twisted away, her back to him as she walked to a chair, giving her a few seconds to think without him watching her face. She turned to sit and let her eyes raise from the floor slowly as she decided how she felt. On the one hand, Connie’s actions had almost begged him to focus his attention on her — you don’t piss off one of the top geeks on the planet without expecting some recriminations. But on the other hand, two wrongs don’t make a right.

“You’re scaring me a little Travis.”

He took several quick steps and dropped to his knees in front of her, reaching for her hands as he said, “You know I’d never hurt you.” She raised her eyebrows and he corrected with, “Well, not in a way you didn’t want me to.”